Beans on terror

So that's one more oil tanker for me and one less for Slavic Special Ed.

I'm not trying to tell you how you should be doing these things Uncle Sam, but you know we got that blockade still down there in Venezuela and there was like 11 oil tankers that left the area. They're all sanctioned and we only nabbed one of them What are we doing with the rest?

What in the buff? Oh

So fuck fuck games it is that all right

You think that taking those oil tankers is going to stop mother Russia. It's not going to Ukraine how did you like the orishnik missiles that they sent to you last night? How do you like my drones that consistently knock out your power in your oil refineries? See Russia, what you want everyone to believe is that me seizing these oil tankers and taking out a Venezuelan dictator is not slowing down your war machine. And that's why you fired the Oreshnik.

But in reality, see, you learn much more from Russia when you find out what they're trying to not tell you. In reality, I think this shows desperation and or vengeance and you're pissed off about the ships and instead of picking a fight with me which you you know, you'll fucking lose. You pick a fight with Ukraine who you've picked a fight with for the last four

years. Why haven't you been using a Rushniks the entire time if they're so capable and can get through everything? Oh that's right you have an incredibly finite number of them because you can't produce anymore. No I just had to use them on the right targets and what about your precious Patriot system that's over there in Ukraine? It cannot stop this missile. Because it's not designed for that threat.

They got Patriot systems because the majority of what you have, Patriot is designed to combat. Do you think I'm going to send them fucking GMD interceptors? That's ground-based mid-course defense. And then the interceptors are technically called GBIs, ground-based interceptors. They travel at a maximum speed of Mach 3, or excuse me, Mach 33, my bad. Um, you think I was gonna send those to them when you literally just have very few Sarmats and probably aren't going to use them against them at all?

Why would I fucking send them that? So, for your Oreshnik, they would need a THAAD system. They have no reason to have a THAAD system. Uh, for the record boss, uh, I could probably take those Oreshniks too. Yes, I know. But Aegis or Aegis Ashore is completely fucking overkill.

America, you had another shooting, this time in Portland, against two individuals. Luckily they survived. But your customs and Border Patrol are out of fucking control. Oh you beans on toast motherfucker, I've been waiting for you to chime in.

Oh I'm gonna fuck you up.

Not yet, Buff. Not yet. We haven't gotten to that story yet. And you know what's crazy? Is the shooting in Minneapolis with ice is still big news But the one in Portland that happened right after it just immediately disappeared. You know why? Because both the individuals shot have ties to the trend a ragua. I hope I said that fucking right Cartel like direct ties and that's from the sheriff of Portland. Yeah, the press briefing dude fucking cries like a bitch. I bet he went home to his fucking, I don't know, him-her boyfriend with the fucking skittle hair and had himself some gender fluid and tucked himself in early to bed. I don't fucking know.

That is both the grossest and most homophobic thing I've ever heard, Buff. You know, I can't keep up with this whole phobia bullshit that you guys put out here. Like, you know, when I was growing up, it was like, hey, if you are deathly afraid of spiders, that means you're arachnophobic. But if you make funny-ass gay jokes, that means you're afraid of gay people. That's not how that fucking works. Buff, them being funny is kind of subjective. Look, didn't South Park do a whole thing on this?

Like, I can use the F slur. I mean, I really could, but that's not necessarily used for gay people, okay? So, what I'm saying is, is you either find it funny and you're one of the cool gays, or you don't find it funny and you're one of the weak little crybaby gays. These cartels operating inside of the United States have become such a problem, we may start doing kinetic action in the country of Mexico. Sorry guys, you should have took care of the cartel problem before it got up here, and now it's my problem. Um, can't you like, uh, just fucking stay in your own country, man?

Like, like, if we need your help, we will ask for it, but the rest of the time, just leave us the fuck alone, you know? I kinda hate to agree with him on this, but it's getting painfully evident that your entire political structure is ran by cartels. Look, if I can interject here, don't get me wrong, I, you know, in every galaxy, sand people are a fucking problem.

In Star Wars, it's a little, you know, it's the sand guys. And on Earth, Middle East or Mexico, I mean, hey, don't get me wrong, the sand people just have fucking problems. But I'd rather just, you know, kind of topple Iran if we can real quick cuz they're there they're on their last fucking I

Don't know

Iran is perfectly perfectly fine We have we have not had any issues and and we just have some some minor protests here It is all of the fault of the West power to the people death to the fucking tyrant What the fuck? How is that getting out? I thought we shut down the internet. Starlink, you oppressive bearded bitch! Would I look really bad if I started supporting this? Or is it more looking like a brown on

brown crime? The Iran situation, for those of you who don't know, I did a whole long video breakdown somewhere. The long and short of it you need to understand is if these people, the revolutionaries, overthrow their Islamic leadership, they could have their country back

and stability in the region will almost entirely be guaranteed because the current Iranian regime pumps tons of money, weapons, and ammunition through the Quds Brigades, Q-U-D-S, and they have units in there that are specifically designed to support logistics for Hamas, the Houthis, and Hezbollah.

Oh my god, that sounds awful. I hope they overthrow and that's not because I was betting on it on polymarket.

That's a joke. I wouldn't bet on regime changes. Notoriously the US is really bad at those. Maybe the Iranian people would be better at it. Try as you might. You will never silence us. Every time you kill one, ten will take his place. The people of Iran can protest however they want, but it is encouraged for all of you to understand that we must maintain order, and sometimes that involves automatic weapons. It's a real shame that the other side might have them soon. That's a joke, but we'll probably find out about it in the next 5 to 10 years when it's

unclassified. We do be doing that shit. We have unconfirmed reports that the US used some kind of sonic weapon when they were down here. Some guards say that they immediately felt sick and then dizzy and then pass out and... America, I think you should explain exactly what happened when

your guys were down here. Alright, let me give you a brief synopsis. We dragged our veiny sack across your air defense systems, went and fucking yoinked your goddamn president and had him back by lunchtime. Meanwhile, I'm sure there's hundreds of selfies with that cocksucker. Did you really use some kind of electronic warfare that makes people sick? There's got to be some kind of law against that.

Well, it's not in the Geneva checklist, but those didn't really exist in WW2. Again, these are unconfirmed reports. This is from somebody who claims that they were a guard of Maduro Okay, Caroline Levitt leave it whatever her name is the press secretary shared something about it on Twitter. So I decided to mention it look beans on toast what you have to understand here is while that may be very very painful and

May provide a severe amount of discomfort, you know what is significantly more uncomfortable than something like that? Suppress 300 blackout going through your cranium, which is exactly what would have happened had they not used something like that that's less than lethal to neutralize so that they could get in and get out without having to kill more people.

Wait, wait, wait. So we stole a president and we were still pulling punches on lethality. Goddamn, we really are the best. United Kingdom, I have a problem that I need to speak about with you.

Wait, wait, wait. Why do all of your Middle Eastern countries have the same exact accent? You know they're not the same language over there. Having spent quite a few years over there myself, I can assure you it doesn't matter what dialect they speak.

When they try to speak English, it all sounds the fucking same. The Middle East is a diverse culture and should be embraced. And you should have done the homework to learn all the different accents. Oh, you're going to eat them words. Go ahead UAE. We here in the United Arab Emirates have decided that to any of our college students that are going to

school in the United Kingdom we will no longer pay for their education. Stopping your people from getting educated. I wish it wasn't as cliche as it was in the Middle East. Wait for it. No, it isn't to try and stop our people from being educated. It is because members of the United Arab Emirates are running into members of the Muslim brotherhood

in your country, and they are becoming extremists. So to avoid that, we will not encourage our people to go to school in the United Kingdom because they are becoming extremists because your laws are too fucking loose. Is this a joke? No, no it's not. Oh god, I had to re-verify that fucking news article but it's absolutely 100% fucking true which

is wild that's fucking insane look look look I'm not saying that the United Kingdom is gonna start speaking with a Middle Eastern accent but I've it's a strong fucking possibility there beans on falafel hey buff do you think it's Oxford or Cambridge that has a degree plan that would end up in me being qualified to make suicide vests. Oh, that's gotta be Cambridge. Oxford is more of a technical school in that aspect.

I think if you wanted to work on pressure plates and homemade explosives, that's gonna be an Oxford graduate program. This is very funny, actually. I can make jokes like the West. Which college teaches you to fuck goats? He is entirely too excited about this joke. Oh that's gotta be King's College in London. That's the only way they could ever you know get away from having the Habsburg jaw from all the inbreeding. It's not as bad as you all saying. Obviously it is because this is

the thing like we we know Muslims don't like other Muslims, right? They all have their different SIA Shia Sunni I'm part of this sect. I'm part of this group. I'm from this country I'm part of this tribe we get that but when an entire nation says those are the wrong kind of Muslims in that country That's a pretty pretty simple telltale sign that your toxic empathy has you fucked. Oh wait. I got one last one Man in London all their schools their gender studies has been changed from having this whole thing on a spectrum to either you have a Man in London all their schools their gender studies has been changed from having this whole thing on a spectrum to either you have a

Boy, or you have property Music