Bihari Yuva - Fake Podcast

Namaskar, my name is Prashn Kumar and my cast is Podcast. On social media, memes and jokes about Bihar and Biharis have been going on for the past few days. To know the truth about Bihar, today we have invited a real Bihari youth to our podcast. Welcome Mr. Lallan Babu.

Thank you. You told me your caste as soon as you saw a Bihari.

No, that's just my intro style.

Shut up! It's your intro style. Which caste is this podcast? Tell me quickly.

This is not a caste. I just said it. You just shut it down a little.

Which caste is it? Tell me. We also want to know if you want to sit on the floor or on the top. Tell me.

Look, I don't believe in caste.

I believe in it, sir. If I had said that I am a casteist, you would have said that I am a Bihari.

So, you are a Bihari, right?

From which angle do I look like a Bihari? Hey! I don't use my words or my clothes to say Bihari. I just drop one cloth, sir.

No, you don't look like a Bihari.

I don't look like a Bihari, right?

No, no.

Thank you.

How did this proud thing happen? You are from Bihar, right? Yes, I am from Bihar. So, don't say Bihari in front of everyone. You can't say Bihari. What should I say? It's an N-word. Just like two blacks can say N-word to each other, you can't.

Similarly, we Biharis can use B-word to each other, but you can't.

By the way, what do you do, Mr. Lallan?

We have IAS in the blood.

So you are preparing for the IS?

No, we are donating blood for the people of other states. So that you can also become an IS.

Okay.

We are running for the police.

For recruitment.

We are running after the officers, to take a little bribe and recruit us.

Okay.

And in the end, there is nothing.

We are just laborers. And in the end, there is nothing. It's just a job. So what preparations are you making for the job?

Bihari will make preparations for the job.

What is the obsession with a government job among Biharis?

Look, to live in Bihar, you need both money and power. And you get it from a government job. Now, if a person gets a government job, then he will have seven generations. Now, look, my grandfather gets a government job, he will be fed seven times a day.

My grandfather got a government job,

and I am eating seven times a day.

He was a chapparasi. We feed him Greek salad and put lettuce in Bihar.

In Greek salad. Is he still alive?

Yes.

Sir, 30 years ago, he was killed by a lacquered weapon. We didn't even tell him that he was killed by a lacquered weapon. We said, let's run.

So that he can get pension.

He can get pension. He has been dead for 10 years. We have not told. We are like a skeleton, lying down. We don't tell. And you are getting pension. Yes, I am getting pension. See, my grandfather is a good skeleton. He is still alive.

He is giving nature. I want to be like him.

To show your back. No, I want to be a skeleton. You look very intelligent. Yes, sir. I am intelligent. We have studied from Bihar board. Bihar board is tough. How tough is it? Sir, have you ever studied physics in Bhojpuri? In Bhojpuri?

Physics? No. Let me teach him. Now read our book. You understand. It is written in this. What are you Newton? I am not a fool like you. I have cut your three rules. The fourth rule is that if you want to eat an apple, you have to sit down with a book.

I will make gravity. Sir, you will not be where you are sitting. I will finish you off. This is written in the book. Yes, it is called Bhaujiki. Bhaujiki is called in physics in Bhojpuri. Yes.

Why?

Because all the examples are on Bhauji. Read a few examples and tell us.

See, there is a question that two brothers-in-law are biting a Bhaujiki horse with a force of 30 Newton. So how much force will three brothers-in-law bite on the horse?

I will tell you. 45?

Brother will catch it, this is the answer.

How will brother catch it? Brother was not in the question.

Brother is variable, not constant. This is what you should have understood. That is why Bihar is very tough and that's why we are becoming laborers by studying this.

Tell us what is the situation of dowry in Bihar?

It's a good situation, sir.

But taking dowry is wrong. Taking less dowry is wrong. Taking more is a matter of praise in the society. Brother, it's wrong to take less or more. The entire GDP of Bihar is based on dowry and you are saying it's wrong. Our startup is about dowry. CalculateMyDowry.com.

Should we calculate your dowry, sir?

No, there's no need. We are doing it for fun.

Get it done.

Yes, just like that.

Okay, your salary, you were telling me, is it Rs. 2 lakh per month, right? Yes, just like that. lakh per month na sir? haan maza hai, mann nije. Ghar mein jameen? Nahi, jameen toh nahi hai.

Gaya bhaiya?

Woh bhi nahi hai.

No.

Baap mein, dada mein kisi ka sarkari naukari?

Nahi, sarkari naukari bhi nahi kisi ki.

Bakcho nar.

Theek hai.

Calculate my dahej. 25000 rupees sir, loan. 25000 rupees? I have so less dowry. Cycle is also second hand.

What?

No, I mean, I am against dowry. Your app will be spoilt. How is the app spoilt?

By the way, you also wanted to take dowry.

No, nothing like that. I was just giving for knowledge purpose.

App is not bad. Look at this. We put our salary. Salary zero. Nothing is bad, look at this I put my salary, zero Unemployed 5 acres of land Grandpa's pension

3 cows Calculate my dowry How much? 40 lakhs What? 10 tons of jewelry And 4 cars Girl is a whore

2 sisters Foreign trip What nonsense is this? car, girl is a whore, two sisters-in-law, foreign trip.

What nonsense is this?

It's not nonsense sir, it's our value.

If we show our value in Bihar, the bidding will start immediately. Will you take 40 lakhs for the girl?

Why not?

If you are not getting it, why are you jealous? Will you loot someone's father?

It's security money.

Whose security money? Bride's security money. Whose security money?

The bride's security money. We will beat him up.

Why will you beat him up?

If she doesn't bring dowry, she won't beat him up.

So you are taking dowry for him?

For him?

How?

Sir, we came here after drinking. After enjoying. We will beat him up a little. As a husband. And if she bleeds, then we need a car to go to the hospital. And she will be beaten, screamed, heard by the neighbors. Who will lose their dignity?

What about you?

Her dignity will be lost, sir. If there is a TV, we will increase the volume. No one will know.

And what about the washing machine you bought?

That will be washed.

Why did you buy it for two years?

Sir, sometimes the wife is busy with the broom and the mop. So, I need someone else.

And if the wife says that she wants a divorce with the alimony?

Hmm.

What will you do?

I'll hit her with an alimony cooker.

You are repeatedly saying that you will come after drinking alcohol. I will do it anyway. But alcohol is banned in Bihar.

So is alcohol addiction important? You want to get addicted, right?

Yes.

There are many ways to do it in Bihar. Tell me. The first way is that you have a lizard in your house? Yes, there are a few.

So, boil milk and drop the lizard in it.

Okay, fine. And feed it to your family. But they will die.

That's why you can get marijuana, sir. That's the first way, sir.

So, marijuana will make me drunk, basically. Yes, and if you don't want to do this, then there is another way.

You come with us to the cycle shop.

Okay.

Do you get alcohol there?

No, sir. We will get puncture fixed there.

Okay. So why did you take me there?

You will get a tube there, sir. We will spread that tube on your hand.

Hmm.

You lick that.

But why will I lick that?

Okay. You have become a very rich man, sir. You won't lick the poor, right? Is there any other kind of intoxication? There is a third kind of intoxication, sir.

Tell me.

Make a bottle gourd curry in this.

It must be made at home. Yes, absolutely.

Put a bottle of sanitizer in it. Okay. And keep it outside to rot.

Okay.

So, our friends had come a few months ago, my friend was saying that he wanted to do a third type of intoxication. He was putting sanitizer in the bottle gourd vegetable and eating it. It was rotten. That's when the snake smelled there, sir.

Who was the snake that smelled?

The bottle gourd vegetable, sir. He was intoxicated.

What happened then?

He started swimming. Then we also wanted intoxication. We smelled the snake. We also started swimming. Then a snake came out of the shape of a shape. Really? He said, I'll become something today.

What did he become? He became a Baba. He said, from today, call me IIT Baba.

I took some money and left for Coimbatore.

Isn't there an easy way to get drunk in Bihar?

There is alcohol, sir. It is sold in every house.

Then why were you doing all this? If there is unemployment, then I have to do something. Otherwise, we drink alcohol from 8 pm. You drink alcohol?

8 pm.

Is it a brand?

No, it's the time, sir. 8 pm.

Okay.

Drink alcohol from 8 pm. At night. This goes on till 8 pm.

The IPL season is going on. As a Bihari, which team do you support?

RCB.

Why?

Royal Challengers Bihar. That is Bangalore. Royal Challengers Bangalore. Okay sir, but we like South's film a lot. So that's why you support RCB. Yes. Why do you like South's films? Sir, we have a common cultural background. How? Sir, there is also a craze for dhodi. Here also there is a craze for dhodi. There also women are in their limits. Here also women are in their limits. So it's the same culture. Same cultural background.

Have you ever thought why there is no IPL team in Bihar? Sir, it just kept forming. Do you know about this or not? No, I don't know.

Team was almost bought. They refused Kohliya. I had told him. Really? Yes. I told him but he refused. Why? That he won't dance in the orchestra.

Why?

Now go and ask him. He has time to make ads.

He will dance there but not in the orchestra in Bihar.

Wow.

So if he won't dance in the orchestra, there won't be a team. Sir, what will we do by playing cricket if there won't be an orchestra in the IPL?

Okay. if there is no orchestra in IPL. Okay, that was the reason. That was the reason and we had to make the pointing coach. But he said,

I am Bihar Naib.

Why did he say that?

I am a Bihar person.

I think that was too much.

Okay.

By the way, how much have you studied?

I used to study as much as I could, sir.

What is your education?

My education is graduation.

Have you graduated?

No, I have graduated, sir.

You have graduated?

Yes.

You are not that much older?

I have been graduating for 8 years, sir.

For 8 years?

The first year's exam was done in 3 years. The second year's exam is going to be done in 5 years. Why? Why does it take so much time? Sir, if all the students pass the exam, then they will ask for a job. So, to stop unemployment from increasing, papers are not being taken. Last time, the paper got leaked.

The paper got leaked? The master's MMS got leaked, so they didn't make the paper. Okay, and then? After that, the paper got stolen, sir. Exam paper got stolen?

No, sir. A4 size paper got stolen, on which the master was going to make the date sheet. Then? That paper was brought, so the master got stolen, sir.

Okay, then?

So, the master made the date sheet, sir. So, the college got stolen.

How can the college get robbed?

College gets robbed in Bihar sir. Is it easy to be a Bihari? Will you become a Bihari? Tell me. Will you become a Bihari for a day? Everyone is watching, the interview is telecasting live.

Or should we cancel the interview?

Sir, if this is possible I don't want to be a Bihari for a day

Are you done?

No sir, I got it in my hand The crime rate in Bihar is very high

Yes, it's very high

It's 3 lakhs for a murder I haven't asked you the amount of the contract

You're asking the rate of the crime, right?

Yes It's 3 lakhs for a murder I have not asked you the amount of the contract. You are asking the rate of the crime.

Yes.

The murder cost us 3 lakhs.

We are not able to kill our leader. What do you mean by leader? Sir, the one who has the land in his family, the one who wants to kill, Okay. This is the biggest issue of Bihar.

How can the leader be the biggest issue? Sir, the leader makes us crazy. We are not able't do anything. We had planted a bottle gourd in our field. What's the fault of the bottle gourd that it climbed on someone's tree? There is no fault. Now, big bottle gourds have come on his tree.

Now, he is not letting us pluck them, sir, for so many years. Then what did you do? I called the administration. No one answered. to If it rains, it's water from the dam comes to us, and it becomes a pit in our soil. These are small things, which make us go crazy, sir.

The day the patidari ends from Bihar,

Bihar will join Nepal.

What do you think, how will Bihar's development happen?

It will happen suddenly, sir.

How does it happen suddenly?

It happened like the Big Bang, suddenly. Everyone will keep opening their cameras but the Big Bang happened. Similarly, overnight, you will see Bihar develop.

How does it develop overnight?

There are children overnight.

What will happen overnight? We will not eat anything, all together. We will pick up our lungi and say, let's develop tonight.

And it will develop.

These are all imagination.

Big Bang was an imagination for you.

Bihar's development.

The day all this work of road construction is going on in Mumbai, it will stop. That day, development of Bihar will start.

This is not possible. Mr. Lallan, as a Bihari youth, how do you see the politics of Bihar? See sir, politics in Bihar is our favorite sport. Like Bengal's football, Maharashtra's cricket,

in the same way, Bihar's Murga Bhaat is our favorite.

Meaning?

As soon as the elections start, we take alcohol and chicken from all the parties. Now they give alcohol to the chicken. Now the chicken drinks alcohol and starts laying eggs.

And those eggs sell and become rich. The chicken does not lay eggs, the chicken lays them.

He has drunk alcohol, how does he remember that he is a chicken? He will lay eggs.

What was the politics in this?

Sir, the politics in this is that he drinks alcohol and we vote for our caste's Bakchonar.

No matter what kind of a person he is.

He is a Bakchonar, sir. But we voted for him.

From your talks, it seems that in Bihar, there is discrimination according to caste.

No, there is no difference. They live in their own corner, we live in our own corner. Their utensils are different, our utensils are different. They don't touch us, we don't let them touch us. Sir, caste is very important. If there is no caste,

how will you know whom to marry and whom to have an affair with?

What do you mean? Can't you have an affair in your own caste?

You can have an affair in your own caste.

So what will happen? You will get married to that girl.

So what's the problem?

You can get married twice.

In Bihar, a bridge is stolen. How is this possible? Sir, there are five steps to this.

Okay. First of all, you wait for a bridge to be built on your river.

This is the first step.

Yes.

Sometimes, you will get funds. When the bridge is built, you build a house there. Then one evening, you leave your house with a sack.

Okay.

And sit near the bridge all night.

Okay.

And then come in the morning.

Then why did you go at night? We were doing Reiki, sir. So you will go again the next day?

You go the next day afternoon, when everyone is there.

Why everyone?

Tell everyone that you are crossing the river, but this bridge has been standing here on the river for so many days. Let's cross it. Everyone will cross the bridge over the river. They will give and take away. And then you break the bridge and sell its chain in the black market.

Where?

In the black market of Africa, sir. And what happens to that chain? Sir, they use it to beat up the Bihari labourers. Have you stolen the bridge? No, sir. You are telling me in such detail.

No sir, we see the bridge anywhere and we push it. We don't know anything.

Why do you steal the bridge?

Sir, because of the government. They say that the bridge is made in such a way that nothing will happen for 100 years. It is just on our ego.

So you steal it?

Yes sir.

And you proved the government wrong. You are a Bihari. Yes, so? So you watch Bhojpuri films? No, we don't watch all of them sir. Bhojpuri films are very bad. We just listen to the songs. That's good. What's good in those songs? Lyrics sir. Okay. Which lyrics do you like? All the lyrics are good.

Which lyrics are your problem?

This song, I will read it and tell you.

Hmm. Bahiyan mein kaske sainya, marela khacha khacha khach khach. What is this khach khach? It's a sound, sir.

What is the sound? A big It's a sound, sir. What kind of sound? A big watermelon has grown in the field. He has taken it in his hand. And he has taken it with a laugh. And he has torn it. And everyone is eating it.

Quite possible. Yes, yes. This is the meaning. But the second lyric is Tell me, my queen, Does the sugarcane juice fit in your dress or not?

We are talking about sugarcane juice, sir. Now, the hero in this, he puts a sugarcane juice cart and he runs out of glasses. His wife also helps him. Then Devar comes and says,

I want to drink a glass. Now there are no glasses.

So,

his wife offers him to drink from her dress. There is a pit there. glass peena hai, ab glass nahi hai. Toh uski bibi na offer kya ki hamare dhodi se peelo. Waha pe gaddha hai. Toh pati jo hai ganna ka ras uspar dal raha hai, devar pee raha hai. Aur yeh dalte dalte pati apne bhaav prakat kar raha hai sir. Toh deep meaning hai iske. Ji deep meaning. Yes, it has a deep meaning. Is there any of your favourite song? Sir, my favourite song is of my favourite, Chamanlal Chokha. Okay, sing it.

Bhauji ke sister, aayil bani ghore, pakad ke unka ke, kitab padhe lagne. The beginning of the song was good, but the end was not fun.

It will come now, sir. Did you enjoy it, sir?

No, I didn't.

You miss vulgarity in Bhojpuri songs. That's why the song of Chamanlal Chowka flopped. His cassette was stuck.

No, I was missing the song in Bhojpuri songs.

Oh, you were missing the melody.

Yes. Bihar is one of the poorest states. Why? What's the reason?

Because we spent all our money in the orchestra. Bhaijis.

This is the reason.

A song has been made, sir, on which we have to spend money.

So, there is no geopolitical reason behind this?

Geopolitical? What to say, sir? The map of Bihar has turned out to be wrong. What do you mean by the map has turned out to be wrong? I have made a mistake. You have made a mistake by drinking. If you had given this Bihar a little sea, put it aside, made it a little higher, higher than Kashmir,

there would have been mountains, then we would have been white too, sir. We would have had money too.

And there would have been tourism too.

There would have been tourism too, sir. We had some coal, sir. We had some coal, sir. Then what happened? Sardar Khan looted it.

You're talking about the Gang of Wasseypur?

Gangs of Wasseypur ruined Bihar, sir. And Jharkhand took everything. And nobody knows Jharkhand.

And Bihar was left poor.

Bihar was left poor, sir.

Why isn't there tourism?

Sir, there is tourism. You come. We'll kidnap you. Why will you kidnap? Sir, tourists will be kidnapped here. My father was a tourist, sir. He was a tourist, then later he got kidnapped and became a Bihari.

What is the dating culture in Bihar?

Come sir.

How does a Bihar youth fall in love?

He does it with a lot of effort. With a lot of effort. What do you mean? So, the wedding season is our dating season. We go there with head held high. And the girl is standing there on the Dwari Bariyat. We go to her and right swipe her hand.

If she smiles, then it's a match.

And if she hits you? Then we will get beaten up. I'll get beaten up happily.

It's like getting beaten up by a girl, sir. It's an orgasm.

Okay, it's a match. What next?

Sir, take me to the farm.

By the way, where are you from in Bihar?

I'm from Delhi, Bihar.

Delhi is not in Bihar? Sir, the whole of India is in Bihar. Entire India is in Bihar? Yes, of course.

How?

Sir, your thing is made in China. Similarly, Delhi, Bengal, Kolkata, all are made in Bihar. Bihari's have made it. All are in Bihar. Bihar is in the heart, sir. Bihar can be anywhere.

So, we are sitting in Bihar can be anywhere. So we are sitting in Bihar now. Where ever Paan is thrown, there is Bihar. You eat Paan a lot.

We eat it everywhere. Do you eat Kebabs?

What is special about Bihar's Paan?

You have taken such a big interview,

let's make a Paan for you. Shall we make a Paan for you?

Hello, Chaurasi, make a Paan.

Kolkata Patta, This is Shreeman Lallan Babu, who is a Bihari youth. And after inviting him to my podcast, I am realizing that I have invited a wrong Bihari to my podcast for the representation of Bihar in my podcast. Next time I will try to get a Bihari like Pankaj Tripathi in my podcast. You felt bad sir, your dowry was less in my startup.

If you liked anything about him, then tell us in the comment box, which is difficult. And what do you think about Biharis, write and tell us. Subscribe to our channel Like and share the video Let us know how you liked our new setup

Now split the money, sir If you want to eat an apple, you can take a book and sit there You can spit wherever you want While you were speaking, I was thinking, why weren't you listening to me when I was talking? Why were you thinking about the next question? Did a bridge get stolen in Bihar?

How do you remember this?

I made a bridge by combining two things.

I remember the bridge from that bridge.

I will make a bridge to go to the next question from this question.

And that bridge from that. I'll make a bridge to go to the next question. And that bridge gets stolen. That's why Bihar is very tough. And that's why we are becoming laborers by reading this. And that's why we are becoming laborers by reading this. This is right.