BLOODMONEY!

I

Was muted the entire time No, hello everybody. My name is markiplier and welcome to blood money. This game is gonna make you feel bad How do I know? Because I read the description of the games that I buy actually I couldn't tell you what the description of it is I think it's supposed to be so I Thought he said my heart stinks. Anyway, um

Yeah, that seems like a normal medical bill in America How are you gonna come up with such a large amount in such a short time? Oh, you know In an attempt to clear your head you decide to take a drive but your eyes catch a peculiar sight along the way It's a quaint stall set up on the side of the road run by a friendly looking man Intrigued you pull over and head to the stall Also, this is not full-screen because it's not...

Embiggenated. It's not... Stretchinated. It's not huge. Well, it is for you guys. The editors would have fixed that. And if they didn't, they wouldn't have been doing their job right. Because if they waited until I said that to actually make it stretch, then that's a complete

That's a complete disregard for the experience of the viewer and they they made a horrible error in doing that and they would be

Ashamed of themselves and I would fire them on the spot if I ever found out that it happened. They'd be gone I don't care who they are how many years they've been working with us. I don't care. They'd be gone out of here donezo so I don't care they be gone out of here donezo so It's good thing. I have confidence in the people editing this video And I know that they wouldn't betray me like that or you more importantly me Second importantly you

My name is Harvey Harbington and welcome to my booth Each time you click me. I'll give you a dollar.

Sounds like a sweet deal, doesn't it?

Is this some kind of sex thing?

Here's a little tip before we start. I always say clicks are like tiny magic spells. The more you believe in them, the more they'll do for you.

Just keep clicking and see what happens.

I don't like your eyes. I don't like your eyes at all. I'm gonna click you right in the eyeball boink Donk Wow, I Seem to remember a war stash game kind of like this that Lixian made Now that's an editor. Now. That's an UGH! What a guy.

Would never betray me. I know can you let me do my thing? I played click holding. For fun. There is some kind of optical illusion going on. The background is real shimmery. You don't need to talk to me about this.

Thanks, buddy. Thanks, buddy.

Every click is a step closer to greatness! Every click is the time for you to shut the fuck up! Oh

Every click is a step closer to greatness

What do you what do you think I'm doing? By the way, what is it? Do you know my plight? Do you know why I'm doing this? I'm on a roll. Yeah. All right, whatever I'm going to the shop. Oh

This is a sex thing

This is a sex thing Gucci It's giving me two per click in case you were too thick to notice that I don't like this. I don't like this at all So the unfortunate thing is now I bought that at an odd number and it will forever be an odd number It doesn't bother me that much but I know it will bother you guys So Lixian, please make it an even number

I don't care how many times you have to do it for how many iterations of clicks there are You make that number even and you make it satisfying for the people at home In fact, I'm willing to bet that you superseded. I'm Lixian. I'm sorry. I I Don't mean to be like this. I know you try really hard at your job, and I know that I've fired all the other editors because they didn't make the Video game window bigger because they'd rather go for the meme than actually make the viewing experience delightful

But I don't mean to come down harsh on you But you better make that number even., all right, all right, thank you. What's this? I can't buy it Yes, I can a needle Yeah, well you sold it to me Yes, I am.

Okay, okay, it's not exactly tickling anymore.

Okay, you don't need to talk.

Wow, you're really pushing through my pain barrier.

Yeah, what about your pain barrier? I didn't quite catch that. I was too busy making money.

I admire your dedication. Sure, let's go with that you know what else I'm gonna go with a lot

of money you know I don't even know if I should feel bad about Keep clicking. You're doing great, I think. Oh no. Look, you set up this shop at the side of the road. You did this! Whatever weird magic- I know that there was like some kind of short film or something where there was a guy that- Some kid stuffed in a suitcase and every time he was hurt, he vomited gold coins or something like that.

And it was supposed to be some life lesson about it.

Don't do that.

Pfft.

Pfft. And it was supposed to be some life lesson about it. Don't do that Don't do that. If you ever meet a guy that coughs up coins whenever you hurt them Don't do that. And yet here I am but I can do this because I'm a youtuber and we are above the law And there's something little to be proud of, yeah, of course.

I'm just saying, maybe we should take a break and try something else?

Like, I don't know, a pillow fight or something less... pointy?

No!

Look, I'm dying from an incurable disease, you got a few needle pokes. You got a few, well, hundred holes in you. And I've only got a few.

I guess you're the player, so you call the shots.

Keep going if you think you can handle it.

If you think I can handle it? Watch this! One in each teeth, stabbing your teeth. It's just like a toothpick, except instead of between, it's going IN the teeth. Don't imagine that too hard. What is this stupid thing over here? What do you got here on your lapel? What is that supposed to even be?

Is that like a name tag?

It seems dumb.

In a way, this is uh, this is sorta like acupuncture. Really, really painful acupuncture.

Uh huh. One in each finger in the fingernails one in the knuckles, how about your cufflinks? Necktie needle tie stupid hair eyeball right in the eyeball Ha ha all right, so if I get the hammer This is gonna get probably quite violent, and that's when the feeling bad starts to I'm gonna do it

Oh You pull a hammer?

What are you gonna do with that? I think you know exactly what I'm going to do with this If you need to ask me what I'm going to do with a hammer at this point You already have too much brain damage that this hammer isn't going to make much of a difference so why don't we just have fun with the needle but let's not go crazy here okay this isn't crazy at all this is the most sane thing I've ever done I mean you wouldn't right you would be stunned at the things

that I would do. AHH! Oh god! That's not what I meant!

Hm?

You're not actually gonna keep using that, are you?

Tell me you're not gonna use that!

Well, I mean, you sold it to me, so I don't understand what you're trying to get out of here. You're the magical pixie or something or other that spits out money every time. You're paying me, by the way, it's not like the money just falls out of the sky. You give me money. It's your stall Well, I think you could take a few hammer hits right who can't take a few hammer hits Now I'm trying to scare you a long time ago a few hammer hits. That's enough! You're scaring me, okay? Alright, now? I was trying to scare you a long time ago.

Please! I'm begging you, stop!

This isn't a game anymore!

Alright, well now, yeah, okay. Maybe this is where you THINK I'D FEEL BAD! Okay, see, now it's just hitting your soft meat, and it barely hurts at all. See? It's not even pain. It's so far beyond pain that it doesn't

Why wouldn't it feel real what are you trying to say? God can't save you now Well, would you look at that I have a new item for sit You know, I don't know exactly how this counts as a click What was that? Did you just purchase scissors? Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Please, please tell me you're not gonna use those on me!

That's a big no-no, buddy!

Ah, you know, there's a lot of things that are big no-no's in life.

But, we're not alive, are we? We're in a simulation.

We're on a computer.

You're not real. I'm not real. Hey, I'm probably on that operating table right now Coming up with some crazy fever dream about how you are some kind of imitation of me And you are gonna stand there accuse me of stabbing somebody You're goddamn, right Well, I stabbed you in the bowtie.

What the hell?! My eye! Oh god, my eye!

Alright, okay, alright. You don't need to brag about it.

You're a monster! What the hell is wrong with you?!

I don't know.

How could you? How could you be so cool? You've just figured me!

Yes.

I trusted you! I know this is just a game to you, but this is a game to me. This is my life!

You know, for every second that you keep watching this, you're complicit in this. We're together on this. We are all of the same mind. And every time that you- you enable me to do this, you're basically doing- you clicked on the video, which means that you were the first click of any of this! I wasn't the first click! It was you!

You.

Me. It's me. I'll take credit for this. I mean, the blame. You're really gonna keep doing this, aren't you?

Yes.

See, it's only the first few that are bad, and then the rest of them are barely anything

at all.

Look, this isn't harmless clicking anymore.

You're seriously hurting me. Well, I mean... Yes.

I recognize that. I'm not harmless clicking anymore! You're seriously hurting me! Uh, well, I mean... Yes. I recognize that. Goddammit!

Do you think I'm just some toy for you to play with?

Well...

I don't want to lie to you.

I have... I have a life outside this booth! I don't want to lie to you

You can leave the booth at any time friend

Okay, we're at a crossroads here

because From here on out. It's gonna get worse it's gonna get darker he's gonna beg more and he's gonna lash out probably but this is where we need to stay strong this is all just a bit and we're committed to the bit we're gonna go down this path because this is just the way it goes it's what I wanted to do with Undertale all those years ago, but everyone

You can't start with the kill everybody you dumb dummy you're playing it wrong

That's what I'm here for We're gonna play this wrong Or correct either way is actually valid, but you got to have the stomach for it because I don't exactly- oh it's just a match

Uh No, please Just stop before things get really bad

See, this is where we get all step back. We could turn away you could click away from the video, but I'm gonna watch

I'm gonna watch that line and I won't I'm betting there's gonna be a spike in retention

Right here because if you do walk away you're gonna come back whether it's in a day or in a week You're gonna see this video being suggested to you. Hey, you're like, oh man, could it have been that bad? Good mark have gone off the deep end that hard. Why did he have to slip over to the dark side? Maybe he didn't maybe else and then you'll be back and here's that view spike and here we go

No, they're not.

Get it off! Get it off me!

I don't even see any fire.

Just what have I done to you?

I don't see any fire.

What happened to your eye?

I'll give you anything just don't do this!

Why can't you give me $25,000?

I've got friends,

family, a pen gerbil, How can you give me $25,000?

Did you say something about a gerbil? Wait, what was that other part about a gerbil? I can't abide by anyone that has a gerbil. That won't help me get to where I need to be. How much money is in the booth I'm I'm waiting

Ha ha hee hee wait

Did I not switch to the feather? Is it not the fifth seems like it might might be the match still? I don't think I can give you mercy not that I wanted to anyway I was just trying to see if you would actually give me the money, but you didn't actually give me anything Well, you're not giving me that money so I can't exactly do anything else they need me

you're still giving me money But you're not giving me all the money in the booth I don't even know how much money is in this booth. How much money is in this booth? I'm sorry

Okay, whatever I did. I'm sorry Hmm my life is worth more than this game. Please have mercy on me

Well, you know there is another item above this

but I have a feeling that this is going to get me to 25,000 and

then what happens after that is

Who knows? No God damn it! You're gonna kill me over this, aren't you?

No.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, I don't deserve any of this!

Look at me, I'm begging you! Don't do this!

I'm too far gone now. Once you start down the path, it's an endless spiral downwards, just like your hair. Endlessly spiraling downwards.

Ah, fuck!

You sadistic bastard! Yes, you're right.

Fine then. Have your sick fucking way with me. I don't care anymore! No more.

I can't take it just kill me already You you stop at any time also you you can stop at any time stop Stop!

Ah, well, the medical bills. Yeah, I-

Didn't you know that? Did- what?

You were hustling me? Uh huh, yes. Yes, okay. Okay, interesting. Go on. operation of yours okay interesting go on does this blood money warm your cold black heart not yet it doesn't and for what money

Just because I'm blind pastel colors

Uh-huh You're the one who's wasted! You're just a sad, lonely soul, taking out your anger on someone who can't fight back!

Well, I have a funny feeling you might be able to fight back at some point.

I bet you'd be too scared to do this for real, wouldn't you? To someone who could fight back.

Okay, well, okay, let's just

Let's be clear about some things I have a knife and

You're some magical being who can survive a thousands of stabs

Pussy to go out there and torture someone for real

That is a strange statement. You're so weird. Let me stab the weird out of you. I thought so.

Because you know if you did, you'd have hell to pay when you come face to face with whatever sort of fit to let you exist in this world.

How dare you talk about my own mother that way!

You're so comfortable sitting on that chair. Talk about my own mother that way! HUEH HUEH UGH!

I'm sti- FOOL! HAHAHA I was never sitting! Look how tall I got after I stood straight up! Right out of my chair! I'm barely

in camera anymore!

Nope! not at all

Yeah, well I'm standing I'm standing as tall as I could stand you

You wouldn't dare retaliate against a guy stabbing you at this height, would you? Standing at his full complete- I'm sliding? How am I sliding downwards when I'm standing at full height? Wouldn't you like to know that? Sike.

Ah.

Well, well, this ain't this uh...

ain't this a predicament.

Stab!

You think you're really in control? Yes. You think you can just keep poking and prodding me like that Uh... Ain't this a predicament? STAB! Yes.

Yes.

I did.

All evidence pointed towards that.

Okay. Do I give you money?

Is money coming? Let's see how much you like it on the tables a ton is money gonna click like your fucking life depends on him, bitch

It's that one gift from Wolfenstein of both stabbing at the same What do you got a knife what do you get scissors?, you're tickling me with a fat, uh-huh

Yeah

You're just copying me I was yelling like Oh I'm not as much shit as I want, but... But? But... But you're the one with power here.

I don't know how we're here.

I'm just...

I don't know how we're here.

Just a joke to you.

Nothing more. Nothing more. Nothing more.

Let me cut you on your stump.

Let me cut you on your stump.

I don't know, I probably should feel bad about it. Do I get a gun next? What do I get?

Huh?

Hmm?

Is it a gun?

Okay. Well, I don't really know how to go away from this, so thanks. Wait, I just clicked it

Take it take it all

Well, I mean that is what I wanted so how do I go away? And leave you alone

Hmm How do I go away? Well, see this would be needlessly cruel. I have the money. My objective is complete Look, I may be an evil bastard, but I have I'm out of time. Time is the most valuable thing We have sir. Time is every is money! You know time is money- look. Can you give me a button to like, you know... Leave? Okay, it's your fault.

For not giving me an option to leave. Just like it's your fault for not leaving the video in the first place. So, let's all do this together now. We're all gonna-

We're all gonna move our mouses over here. Over there. gonna we're all gonna move our mouses over here you over there

boink other eye haven't you had it okay well but you put me through something something something putting you out of your misery You can say I'm fucking your dad Right?

Yippee!

Turns out you never really needed that operation after all It would have been nice to have it, yes, but it wasn't life-saving or anything No, rather you were only seeking the allure of easy wealth You climb into your minivan with racks of your unjust fortune And prepare to drive off into the sunset Best get far away before the cops notice bad ending Bad ending, okay

In the game called blood money. That's the bad ending

Okay

Hey, you know what we were getting into you knew what we were gonna get into. Oh. You knew what we were gonna get into. Now, we're gonna get into something else. Cause I'm gonna fix this.

Fastest mouse clicker.

Here we go. Boom. This is not a virus for sure. It can't possibly. Where's that isn't clean? Yeah, it's fine.

Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Yep.

This is a bad idea.

There's definitely a virus.

Oh, hell yeah.

It works perfectly.

All right, here we go.

Watch this, buddy. You're gonna feel this.

Quite serious.

You've got huge penis disease. I'm so sorry, sir. Oh, the burden. We don't have shears big enough to trim that monster back. Watch this.

Hey there, My name is-

Bam! Oh shit. What the fu- oh is F5 already like- oh F5 is like a re- God damn it. F4.

Okay, we got this.

Oh now it's full- oh now it's full-

Why wasn't it full before?

Oh yeah, this is it. Okay, it's gonna work this time. ready everybody. All right, here we go Okay, that's it seems to be speed limiting me Come on you can do it. I feel like this should be More this said it was the fastest mouse clicker Okay, see it's it ain't doing it. It ain't doing it speed limited This said it was the fastest mouse

clicker. Okay, see it ain't doing it. It ain't doing it. It's speed limited. Maybe it's if I do too many it doesn't like it. Let me try 25 a second. That actually does seem to be kind of faster. Sometimes if you do it too fast it literally can't keep up okay so 25 was good to 30 30 is good I can deal with 30 oh I could get that wait I forgot I could get the feather every click is gonna take a while isn't it this is gonna take... a while. Oh my god, why can't I just stab this guy?

UGH! I can't dance. I

Can't dance and I definitely can't dance to this editors take my arm you got that take this arm to

Here they are bent. Here's a foot

All right now I'm gonna stand here. You make me dance Okay. All right. I'm just gonna be a head. No, I'm gonna be a torso. All right All right. This is good. All right, this would be great They're never gonna see this in the middle of this long-ass recording this random moment where I'm like do all this really complicated Bullshit do it. Yeah My legs are really going

Whoa? Whoa

Holy shit I'm not even halfway there. Ha! Ha!

Ha! Ha!

Ha!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Alright, enough of that. Blow them up. Blow my house up.

Good lord.

This is gonna take like another ten minutes. I guess I could go get a snack.

Stop that!

Nah, just kidding. Stop that! Nah, just kidding. Nah, just kidding. Not there yet, huh? All right.

And I was here the whole time and no one can prove otherwise.

Oh man. I am so much slower than... I was before, at the beginning of this endeavor. But- oooh my finger's tired! Ooooooh man! Oh, but I'm so close, I can't give up now! I gotta persevere! Oh, but I don't know, my muscles are so tired!

Oh, my clicking finger is-

Oh! But I gotta push know my muscles are so tired. Oh my clicking finger is oh

But I got a bush keep going

mark Keep going I've never done that Where I like talk to myself like that, you know, go mark go It feels weird, but I'm doing it right now because I just got to finish this strong. Oh

Better actually ended this Because I just got to finish this strong. Oh Yeah, oh It better actually ended this

The money you needed for your operation I did it I'm the greatest satisfied customer, of course the customer

What? Harvey waves goodbye from the stall as you get into your car and drive off. Who knew clicking on a Good Samaritan for an afternoon would get you this much money? This is it. The moment you've been striving for this whole time

It's time to get that operation and be done with this chapter of your life

And all the while you can't help but be proud of what you achieved without getting any blood on your hands

Good ending Blood on your hands good ending All right, well that was that was worth it You know I was expecting some kind of like true ending maybe probably not the true ending Honestly if you just didn't do it without the feather it probably would be the true ending but God knows I'm not gonna do that

So anyway, wow

That was incredible when all those explosions happened and then the gold just blasted out of it We were sucked into the money dimension and then the clicks were revealed for what they were really doing And it wasn't a crazy sexual thing, but it was even weirder man. That was nuts I hope I didn't have to cut that out with YouTube's in videovideo editor because it got demonetized for some reason. Oh well!

Heh heh.

Ehh, I'm glad that didn't happen definitely. So thank you everybody so much for watching. This has been Blood Money.

Maybe there's a true ending! I don't know.

But, do you feel bad? Or do you feel great? Let me know in the comments below. Thank you everybody so making this game. Play it and link it in the description below if there is a true ending and let me know what it was. And thank you again. And as always,

I will see you... in the next video.

Buh-bye! Buh-bye!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!