Ep 617 - Irish Good Morning

Wow, wow, wow, Wes.

Dude, I just it blew my fucking mind.I had to talk to somebody about it.No, I'd like to hear about it.Chuck E. Cheese is no longer.It's not a I think Bargatze actually has a joke about it.I think he or maybe he joked about how scary it was.

But like, you know, we all know the classic Chuck E. Cheese.I was like talking to my kids like, yo, guys, it might be a little scary in here.They have like fucked up looking mice dancing and shit on stage.You're going to a Chuck E. Cheese now.No animatronics screen, the 2D brother.I know.

But if you look if you I like YouTube the old Chuck E. Cheese like maybe I was just like making it up It's more fucked up than you could imagine old Chuck E. Cheese.Yes, it's so scary I like was YouTube when people at the party like this is what it used to look like did they change it you think I think maybe and maybe in the what's O 'Connor call it the aughts.

Yeah, the early aughts.Maybe the early aughts.I bet they changed it when Five Nights and Freddy's or what's that called?Five Nights at Freddy's is like a little kid video game where animatronic things come to life at night and kill you, attack you.I bet when that, cause that was a hit.I bet bringing the kids to see the actual animatronics, it was probably chaos in the Chuck E. Cheese.

2012, when did Five Nights come out?Oh, that was later.I've got a nice theory going.

Yeah, this is a good theory.I have another, my brother gave me a really good theory recently.What is it?Sean's gonna like it.It's about how smoke breaks.So people don't go out anymore and like stand with each other and smoke cigarettes and he thinks it's having like a, it's fucking us up.

Like we don't know how to like chill.That was like a whole rhythm baked into the day where like everybody's like, all right, let's step outside.All the bros have to like hang out together for a while, puff cigs, talk about whatever.Cause really like you and a bunch of people would sit there.Catch the nicotine buzz at the same time and it's like a really nice combo.Yeah, it's a nice combo It's it's like a part of our life that now we miss.

Yeah now everyone also works from home, too Don't even get the around the water cool.

Yeah, but the water coolera myth, by the way.I've never, I've been in an office twice.I never once got to chat around the water cooler.No.

Kitchen, microwave is where you chill.Microwave and coffee.

That's where you chill.

Yes.Water cooler myth.That's where you come in and see your weird manager eating out of a Tupperware and you go, Jesus Christ.

He's microwaving soggy broccoli.

You think about him making that at home.You know, this lonely fucking cocksucker and I hate him.Yeah.

Yeah.Yeah.You start to see a little bit.You're like, ah, fuck this guy's sad too.Yeah.He's still a fucking asshole.

This is kind of embarrassing.Ah, fuck it.I'll say it.It's kind of tooted my own horn.Whatever.This morning I woke up being a, I was just laying in bed trying to trying to be depressed.

Like I was like, I was laying in bed like, damn dude, my parents were in like their twenties when they had my family and like, I'm fucking old.Like my kids aren't even in like I'm 38 and instead of having kids, I just, I did pretty good.

I caught myself.

I was trying to be like, I didn't do shit with my life.And it took me a second to be like, actually, shit's pretty sick, dude.Nice.

That's so funny.Your Irish genes in the morning were like, it's just so much trouble in me.

So much trouble.Terrible trouble.

Oh, I should have had the kids.I'm going to die alone.Instead I pissed away my life.No, I actually had a good life.

Nice.Yeah.Fuck yeah.

It is funny.

Then I got out of bed.I was like, nice.It's a good start.

It is nice trying to run the old program.Miss being like such a five fucked up with stupid shit.You look around you're like, what am I gonna do today?That's fucking awesome.

Look at a house.Look at this dumb fucking house.It was damn it bullshit house.It's the coolest house I've ever seen.Yeah.Fucking natural redwood fucking floor is actually kind of sick.

I did.Me and the mayor just went and looked at the house.How was it?America?The mayor asked to come with me.He wanted to check out the new digs.

Now he was, he, he was checking out the house more than me. I bet.But yeah, it's - Home inspector.I had - I'm - Like, I walk in and the lady's trying to tell me how everything works, so I'm just like - Talk to him.

I'm never gonna - Do you get gay couple phobia every now and again?

Yes, the neighbor - Okay.Dude, the neighbor's the man.What?The neighbor's the man.Fuck, that rules.He came outside shirtless.

Yes.Played - He used to play ball at Texas.

What?

Yeah, he's an older lineman.Came out with his - Come on, man.Big dog - A dog was with him.That was great.God, that's the best.And he was just like - At the end, he was like, So who's thinking about moving in here?

I was like, yeah, me.He's like, where are the women?It's just, it's just you and that black guy.Worst nightmare.He had a blue lives matter shit on his truck.It's just an interracial gay couple being like, this is a fabulous neighborhood.

He could be a problem.He was, that was the discussion in the car.That's the type of guy that, Yeah.Could eventually, me and I might have to have a shootout with him and his dog.Eventually.We could be boys.

I think we'll be boys.Boy, you're thinking boys are enemies.I think that guy's down to fucking pull out the blicky.

What?

I think he'll bullet out it in one second.Whoa.Definitely, dude.Anything, probably noise.Yeah, LaMarr, you'd have to tread lightly around there.He was shirtless, longhorns trunks, longhorns visor.

He's a legend.He could be a real issue.

That's, I mean, that's crazy.Also, what do you think he was a tackle or guard?Cause you guys could form.O -line.Who are the other neighbors?

True.Lameezy.Lameezy's de -tackle though.Yeah.He doesn't have the O -line build.Damn.

He doesn't have the length, but you do have a good nose guard.Nate's grown into an offensive guard.Nate went from DB to O -line.

Nate's fighting at a higher weight class right now.

Damn.That's crazy.Yeah.He seems like the man.

Yeah.

I don't want to be smirched.Yeah, whatever.The lady, the real estate lady was like, I was like, me too.I was like, I think this guy's going to be my fucking boy.He's older, he's an older gentleman.He blocks for a Earl Campbell.

What?At Texas, which is awesome.What's the fence situation?I don't want to give away, this is hardly a fence.Yeah, this won't be double wholesome.And the whole house is, my house is, that I would buy, it'd be like just glass.

That guy's going to watch me and LeMair naked.Just at different levels?Two different fat naked guys.Maybe you guys would catch, I'm sure he's prancing around as well.I think, yeah.Damn.

I think we might have the most vicious three -way of all time.That would end the world.

Yeah.

If me, LeBaron, and that old guy had sex.It's like the Hadron Collider.It would create the God particle.Yeah, it would.

I mean, that's, of all the...It could be a triple heart attack.

It could be a simultaneous...

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That's a rough one, man.That's a made up bullshit sentence.

More info can be found on the Prize Picks Promo's board.Prize Picks, a preferred partner of the NBA.What are the odds, though?Just an absolute beast.Perfect neighbor.O -line neighbor.

Yeah.Humble too.Humble man.That's what I always liked about the O -line.I was so humble on the O -line.

You have to be humble, dude.

Protecting the quarterback, I'd be like, with my fucking life, dude.I'll die for him.Yeah, dude.No one ever celebrates you guys.I'm like, dude, if you keep talking like this, I'm going to cum.I was only like 10.

I was only 10, but I was already like, this feels so good.It feels good, dude.

Be like, dude, nobody even noticed.You're the silent hero.I was like, yeah, I guess you're kind of right, coach.

Yeah, I've always been kind of the quieter hero.

Although, dude, Makes sense though.

You have like a 37 -year -old dad be like, nobody appreciates you guys.

And you're like, this must be the most fulfilling thing.You're working your ass off, no one even notices.

Yeah.Fuck.It's nice.

Football coaching really must be so fucking sweet.

I only got to do it one year, but it was awesome.You did?Yeah.Got to call plays.It was really fun.Oh, you were coordinating.

I was up in the booth, dude.

What was your style?

It was early.We were on the read option.We were a little ahead of our time.Yeah.Yeah.High school?

Or is that?No, eighth grade.We had some talented ballplayers.We had some guys out there.Yeah.Shout out Dill Pickle.

Shout out Danny J. Shout out Darb.What up?The Coog, what up?

The Coog, shout out Jay, what up boys?I'm still sweating.I ran the option when I played beach football like five months ago and it was beautiful.Faked it, they bought it, I ran, I fumbled.I'm still thinking about that fumble.Could have changed the whole game.

Where'd you fumble?We were in the red zone.I was like, I got us into the red zone, fumbled, and I was just like, it was after I shoved somebody into a girl, which I also regret.

Reminds me of that video game, Fumble.Oh, damn.Now it's real.Yeah.Oh, it's a tough one.Oh, I got good bird news.

What'd you got?I have seen some rents kicking around.They're out and they're out behind there.Are they really?But a hawk, two hawks have moved in.Not into the Bud Light box, but just right here.

They're hawking.There's two hawks.It's very exciting.Yo.Some red shouldered hawks.

Yeah, I was just about to ask for the ID.

Yeah.Red shouldered hawks.Fuck, dude.I don't know if they come to Texas, but yeah.

How'd you ID?You went off?

Yeah, but it was pinged in, like, Pennsylvania.

Gotcha.

Yeah.Sent a picture to a friend and they AI'd it.Your phone can do it.Yeah, I could've done it, but they did it for me. I sent them a picture of the hawk.I said, check this shit out.

It's more satisfying, honestly.

Again, that's most of my day.I was just standing in the pool, just looking at a hawk.I gotta send this to my boys, dude.

Getting the ID on the hawk's nice, especially...

You know, that owl you had was sick.

Bro, burrowing owls.Endangered species.I had the privilege of being, I was walking around, they were everywhere.And dude, I was, I mean, this was a huge moment for me.Owls in the daytime, dude?The burrowing owls are all daytime.

That's good stuff.I know.I think that's good luck.I mean, dude, I must be, well, I could use it right now.I'm down right now, but I could use it.I'm down.

in the dumps.Why?I'm down.

It's all right.Just run the program.Just run the Irish morning program.I'm so down on my luck.Things are so terrible.I know.

No, I'm chilling, but the owls were...

No, I'm perfectly fine, but the owls...The owls were really nice, man.They were really...They were pumping me up.It's funny that every episode, the wheels are just flat, emotionally, for the last 10 years.We've both just been like, no, I'm actually doing good.

Things are good right now.It's been fucking nuts.

Totally fine.Fully in control.Everything's cool.

He's completely fine.My life's not a giant house of cards.I could collapse.

Do the house.I got to cause I was there.

Brittany goes, that's when birds come into play.Big time, dude.You see some birds, you go, it's gonna be all right.

Dude, it was birds during the day.Nighttime, my dad has a fish light.So out near the dock, he's on like the bay in Florida.Out near the dock, this green light illuminates and you just throw chicken into the water.Where I'm taught, no, I show these guys, maybe 25 catfish.

Damn.Swarm and they pop, they like will come up to their like whiskers, breach, and then they gobble it up and fly down.

That's awesome.It's, dude, I was living by burrow owls.And then obviously lizards were carrying me through the day.Lizards are great.And then it was the catfish at nighttime, and it was just so, it was so nice.I also ID'd, I remembered the owls, by the way.

Brittany tried to say, oh, they can turn their head 360 degrees.I was like, I think it's 270.Looked it up.It's 270, bro.Holy shit.

270.I mean.That felt good.Clocking your bitch with a 270.I mean, ooh, you gonna tell me about owls?Yeah, it was.

Watch this.

Yeah.And then I was like, well, they could do the degrees.

The head degrees is incredible.O 'Connor saw the Hawk when he came over yesterday.It was like, look at its head.It's moving.at about 280.I'm not kidding.

Like the first thing he said was the degrees of the head turn.

That's the best thing about becoming an old man.You get to just start just being like, that's a silver birch over there.That's pretty nice.

My, my dad's trees is crazy.

I'm getting pretty nasty at the trees, trees and native flowers.I'm pretty, I'm getting pretty good at it.I'm it's killing me. I want to put some fucking shit out in front so bad.It's blank.What?You have a whole blank.

Oh, yeah, that.Yeah, that's every every week.I'm like, I'm gonna go to Depot and just load up.Yeah, just plant like nine different things.

When I moved here, they did have landscaping out front.Must not happen.Must not be sprinkled.This should just become old man Home Depot talk.

They probably don't got it sprinkled out there.If I had to guess.There is a sprinkler.Is there a sprinkler system?Yes.

Yeah, it's nice.I'm gonna have to dig that up and see where the lines are.

Yeah, we're gonna have to check the lines out.Well, yeah, dude, Florida was sick, though, man. I was just paddle boarding on the bay.It's like my It was the best.That's awesome.Paddle.Although I got on the paddleboard, I left it outside in the sun like a dickhead.

So I went to use it.It was hot.So when I went, I like went too far and I was like, I'll be fine.I was like splashing water to cool down, but it was hot on my feet the entire time.Kind of burnt my feet on it.But it was nice.

I got lost.I got lost a little.I got lost enough to where I like had to really try to find the house while paddleboarding.Yeah, I went out as a canal.So it's all like you go and twist and turns.And I was like, I'm going to go all the way out to the bay.

And then I was like, that's kind of far.And then I just like turned around.came down I was like dude I for real I'm lost yeah I saw one tiki hut and I was like that's my landmark when I came back there was nine tiki huts.

Everyone has a tiki hut.

So it was cool I got I got to feel the feeling of Land Ho.

What are you guys whispering?He got his spot switched.You got a free day?

You think that you think the Spurs have a chance?

Yeah I think so.they have a real chance.I'm pulling for them, man.Trying to get some tickets to the Spurs game tonight.

The arena is probably the loudest I've ever heard a basketball game when I went to see Sixers versus Spurs.They were, those, the lads go crazy.The lads?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.The lads are going wild.I've run into the lads a lot lately.Have you really?Yeah.Out in public and they've all been very like, yo, the lads are with you.

The lads fuck with you.

Dude, the lads, yeah.

The lads might be our strongest demo.

I think they're for real, very up there.

They fuck with the secret policy.

They do.

Did you really?You saw a lad in the movie theater?What happened?

I was playing the claw machine waiting for my movie and he went, Gardini.And I went, what's up man?And he went, oh fuck, that's actually you.And I was like, how are you?I went and saw Obsession.

It's good to see the foos.Yeah, he was a nice guy.The lads and the foos.

Yeah, that's nice.The lads are staunch.They do tell you, they always tell you, swear allegiance, they go, yo, we fuck with your podcast.

That's very nice.Dude, you have no idea how much that pleases me.

It's a finicky demo, man.Not everyone thinks they can capture the heart of the lad, the hearts of the lads, but it's, they're complex creatures.

They are.

Everyone thinks, Oh, I'm going to get the lads.Every politician is like a Latino vote.It's like, bro, talk to me.

We'll talk about it.We'll tell you how it's done.Yeah.We'll tell you how to kill Tony of the lads too.Yeah.Like wild shit.

Yeah.They're the fucking Aztecs and Mayans dude.True.They're warriors.Exactly.Also, I'm fluffing the lads.

They're love hearing that shit.

No, the lat, they are a very like, uh, I mean, the memes are the best when like the, the, the red pill blue pill for the lad has become like a, like an extreme badTrump conservative or just like a black guy red pill blue pill they basically it's like you become like David Duke or yeah I'll be excited if we go to San Antonio tonight yeah yeah I'll be exciting stuff that'd be nice I'm gonna be excited to see Jared McCain when I go that's my man Y 'all still gotta be careful you don't get grabbed and hugged on like that Mexican president.Did you see when the lady got hugged?Did you see when the lady got hugged on?

The lads might get - The lads are gonna grope you.If you get a barracha - If Nate's with me, Nate's getting hugged.

You gotta jump in front of it, dude.If a lad comes to grope him like the Mexican president.

I'll take the group.I'll take the group.

Guys, I'll take the group.What would you throw at him?Throw that ass at him?

I can only go so far with him.The allegations are bad, dude.

Yeah, that Slim Goody sunk you, dude.

Slim Goody got you.

I didn't know Bernie was a massive fan of Sheryl Hines.

Or sure, I don't know about that.I'm thinking of, fuck my, fuck me.But yeah.You got Bobby Kennedy on the mind.You got Bobby Kennedy on the mind.After he grabbed those snakes in the, you see that video?

Again?He already grabs snakes before.He loves grabbing snakes.

Yeah, it's pretty wild.

Yeah.Other guys have grabbed it.He didn't snatch them.Yeah.

It's, he did another one because he did one a while back.Also, hey, that's how you, that's how you get the lad vote.Grab a copperhead from behind.Lazy one.Yo, this fool crazy.You gotta, your foo crazy meter has to stay high.

I gotta keep my foo crazy meter high at all times.

Can't let that shit dip, then you're lame.

It's foo crazy.and lame, man.You gotta stay here.Who do you think the craziest foo is in our group?I think Tommy might be the...Or O 'Connor.

O 'Connor might be the craziest.He's loco.

I mean, him claiming 280 on a hawk, some crazy foo shit.Hawks don't have...First of all, hawks don't out -turn owls.That's crazy.

I wish I was...It did have pretty impressive movement.

Did it really?Yeah.We got to look that up.

We need head movement on a red shouldered Hawk.We're going to need that 270 on now.And I also was like, got the team on it.All three, all three struggling.Two of them already went to Instagram.Oh shit.

One 80.I like that one.And he's not bad.I was going to say it's no two seven.There's no way.Huh?

Wow.What kind of Hawk?They're just a red shoulder.

So they can get what's so they get one 80, but they, how, if they don't move, you said they can get the two 70.I did the first thing I did when I was claiming 270 was a go outside and go ours is pitiful the mayor you might be possessed that head movement you like the exorcist I hit I hit an inappropriate we went to the zoo in Naples, like I was outside of Naples.We took my family to the zoo and there was a tiger cage and no one could see the tiger.My kids were like, I can't see it.Where is it?I'm like, you know, a trick for seeing tigers.

And they're like, what is it?I'll turn for the camera.I went.

We are, we are old men.It's just an old dad racist in the zoo.

Nobody laughed.Just my wife huffed and walked away.I was like, that was good.

That was good.It's a good one.That was a good one.I haven't seen that one in fucking 40 years.

We know you never get the opportunity to pass that out.My kids were like, how do you do it?I hit him with it.They're like, what?I was like, just keep going.

They're going to break that out in school.Obviously another kid's going to talk about tigers at their age.Tigers is like top five conversation pieces.

Yeah, it was a fun one.Hopefully I turn far.

I think we can fuck it.

We can just blur your black box.

We've already did the white boys.Pandora's box is already open.

Pendulum.The pendulum.

I mean, chill.

Pendulum might be 270.Pendulum might be 270.It was funny because I didn't realize I've been off the internet, so I didn't realize how massive the roast was.Until this morning, I saw a supercut of every single person.I'm like, oh, this went like around the world.This one, everyone was talking about the goddamn roast.

Dr. Umar called me a fucking Neanderthal.What?Dr. Umar called me a Neanderthal.

Tell him you want to see the Frederick Douglass Marcus Garvey Academy open, and then you'll talk.Ask him about the school.

Yo, you're going to get Dr. Umar?

Ask him about the school.I tried to get him on.He charges like fucking $10 ,000 to come on.

We should pay.It would be funny to.Yeah, he's really funny.I actually, to be honest, I like Dr. Reumann.

Yeah, so do I. I'm not just saying that.I enjoy watching him.I think he's hilarious.

Yeah.

When he does the things where people can call in and send things in.

Yes.When he reads his live chat and he blocks people.It's the best.It's awesome.He has to know it's funny because he reads what they say.

He knows.He's got to know.

I just I want to see the score.I think it's funny getting called a Neanderthal.It's hilarious.I was I was all right with it.Yeah.Fucking kind of.

I don't know if he's trying to be funny if he's actually upset.I apologize to Dr. Umar.

I think he's smart.He's a smart guy.I think he knows what he knows what plays.

Probably edit this out, but I was thinking about purchasing his school.And naming it the Robert E. Lee School for Whites Only.I'm gonna name it Neanderthal Robert E. Lee Ronald Reagan Richard Nixon Academy.What about school for the Aztec school for the lads?Aztec school for the lads would go crazy.That'd be tight.

I think making it on a Robert E. Lee, Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon's school for higher learning and then and then actually dumping a ton of money in it and making it really successful and actually helping the community just as a bit dude.

That would be a good bit.

It's a good bit.

I just want to see it open, man. I'm not trying to break the guy's balls.I've been hearing about the school for a while.

I'm like, oh, that's kind of nice.Yeah, what happened with the school?

It's just, it's never open.It's been fucking 10 years.It's gotta open the school.It's gotta open the school.I mean, especially before he starts coming at, you know, Neanderthals.He shouldn't be watching the roast.

Get the school going, bro.True.What the hell are you doing?Get the fucking school going.That is, it is, I don't know.It's a funny thing.

It's a funny thing to just have the school go and be like, dang, they wiped out my accounts again.You know that happened, right?Wiped out his fucking accounts and he got hacked.

Oh, shit.

Fucking hell, the money ready to get the school going, they wiped out his damn account.Somebody hacked him and stole all his money, but it wasn't him.

He didn't spend it, somebody else did.Son of a bitch, that keeps happening.

It's did it fuck.I was like no.I immediately donated I don't want you put the cash I For real genuinely enjoy him I think he's fun his shit his day is just like vigilance on the snow bunnies is my favorite It's my favorite someone needs to stay fucking focused man.Oh, yeah, he would sorry day, but somebody Also right back at you True.

You know, you guys are both Dr. Umar should be, Dr. Umar should like me, dude.He should hate you guys.

What the fuck?True, true.I wasn't even thinking of my own sins.

Damn, damn.I should get him on at the link.Let him just give a talk.Please, please.No comedy, just give a nice five minute speech on me.Kill Whitey and get off stage.

I mean, the boo would be thunderous.The boo would be awesome.He would love that bill 80 ,000 hawkies build him.He might have said he might evolve.He would evolve.You might just split in half.

There could be two doctors.He could start multiplying.Did 80 ,000 white booze.

So far you have sliders Sliders in the background while umar just does this thing would be so nice.He's the prince of pan -africanismit's the best it is funny when someone's hating on you it's like dude I love you I love him I love you there's nothing you could say I fucking love you I've watched I frill have watched so much of his stuff yeah those guys make funny it's very funny it's awesome he's real one of my favorite Breakfast Club guests yeah he's awesome he's amazing I've never really seen him do anything I didn't think was awesome.

Every single time I see him, I go, oh, fuck you.

I have the same thing for the honorable, uh, whatchamacallit, Mr. Farrakhan.Farrakhan rocks.I love Farrakhan.Sorry.I just, I watch him and go, God, I love this guy.He's so funny.

Yeah.

I've talked about it before.Him on Donahue in the nineties was maybe the best TV thing I've ever seen, appearance I've ever seen anyone do.

They just have him with like Nazis.

It's no, it's him and his, no, it's just him ripping and, uh, just talking.And he has all of his like nation of Islam guys standing there, like bow ties, standing real militant.But he's, he's just nineties.Well, they're just nineties housewives being like, you know, he'll like lay out his grievances and they'll be like, go back to Africa.If you're so upset, it'll be like, no, that's the bullshit I'm talking about.But it wasn't even like, how dare you?

He's like, that's exactly.And he just keeps going on.And then he hits this Jewish lady.I didn't know he had a problem with the Jews.So I watched that clip and he, she brought it up and I just watch him go.I have some stuff for this, and he just fucking goes in and like, damn.

Yeah, that's one of his big grievances.Yeah, he's, yeah, beefing, beefing with him.

But yeah, he rules.I mean, dude, you can't deny talent when you see it.When I see Farrakhan, I go, that's a talented guy.Sorry.Of course.Yeah, I separate the art from the artist.

Like, that's a talented fucking guy.Yeah.I like what he does.Sorry.

Honestly, it's kind of impressive more black guys are not as racist.If we were allowed to just be extremely racist.Yeah, but we had our differences.sun.Black guys are just allowed to be racist.Yeah, completely.

They do a pretty good job not doing it.It's pretty, it is pretty impressive, honestly.It's pretty impressive.I was thinking to myself, I'd be bow tie, glasses, fucking immediately.It'd be so fun being like, what'd you say, you pink pig bitch?

It'd be awesome.Yeah, that is pretty amazing to not, yeah, go full force.It's pretty amazing.But I think too, I don't know, maybe it's like, you know, you're kind of like, you know what, let me put down the sword.If you've been nicked with the sword a couple of times, you go, maybe I won't wield the sword myself as hard.Although I would just come back 10 times harder.

Yeah, it's so funny just knowing you'd be pure bean pies right off the bat.People don't talk about the black Muslim enough.I miss them.I haven't seen a black Muslim in Texas.There are so many in Philly and they are, some of them, they're rad.Black Muslims are fucking rad.

I used to work with this black Muslim guy.I worked with many black Muslims, not bragging.But the one guy I worked with was, for real, one of my fucking favorites.He put me on to this television show.Might have been the worst show.Did you ever see The 100?

No.Oh, I...Dude, he hyped me on this show.I ended up watching two seasons and was just like...I remember you watching it.It's...

He was like, bro, the show...He was talking like, this shit is gonna...This is it.And I watch it.Dude, the premise is sick.Then you watch it and you're like, this is the gayest show I've ever seen.

It's one of those, I've actually, it went seven seasons, and I do at some point want to watch the finale of the seventh season, just to see where they went with it.

It'd be kind of fun.This episode is brought to you by Bluetooth.Oh yeah, fellas, let me introduce you to Bluetooth gold.Yo.No, it's not something original.guy orders at a steakhouse.

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Oh yeah, July 17.At the link, please please come to that.I think we just released a bunch of new tickets.So it's almost sold out.

So hurry up.Guys, six, five, that is June 5, June 6.I'll be at the Summit City Comedy Club, Fort Wayne, Indiana.But then I'll be in Spokane Comedy Club, 8 -13 -2026, 8 -14 -2026, Spokane Comedy Club.And there's a bunch more dates coming.They should be on my website.

They're not for some reason.I'm going to dig into that and update you guys.Go to MattMcCuster .com.Anything good?

Have you watched anything good?Yeah, I watched Train Dreams.Oh, the Dennis Johnson book.Yeah, I guess.Yeah, yeah.

The guy.Yeah.In the beginning, they didn't have them throw the Chinese guy off the cliff, did they?

Yeah, they did.They did.Yeah.OK, because I know they did that in the beginning of the book.But did he help?He slightly helps.

He grabs his legs and he's kind of saying, like, what do you do?Like, why are you guys doing this?But he's still kind of like grabs his legs.

Gotcha.

But then gets kicked off and then they throw him.

Okay.And did the Chinese guy die in the movie?

Yeah.

Cause he does it in the book.He doesn't.He like, I haven't finished it yet.Clambers.

Oh my bad.

What did they throw him?They throw him off a bridge.Yeah.I think he like in the book just catches the thing and just kind of like clambers away.

They don't show you the, they definitely don't show him surviving.Okay.

Yeah.It was funny in the book cause he, Just walking home and he's like, what are they throwing a Chinese guy off a cliff?And they're like, yeah, I'll help.And he just doesn't even, then he does it.He's like, I was kind of fucked up.I should have done it.

I don't know why I was so eager to help that guy.It's pretty sick.How far, how far into it are you?

Uh, two thirds.

Okay.

Yeah.Yeah, it gets kind of freaky there.Yeah, it gets so far.It's pretty sad.This is sad as shit.I didn't think it was gonna be that sad.

No, I had it recommended.I'm like, Oh, cool.You know, like, I like the time period.And then like, right away, I was like, Oh, fuck.

Yeah, it's pretty devastating.

I'll find her.

Yeah.Not in the woods.Nothing good happens in the woods.

Yeah, no, that was that was pretty good.The you know, what was surprising.I rewatched recently.And I was I actually wasn't a fan was Wolf of Wall Street.I thought I loved that movie.And I rewatch it.

And I'm like, The whole fucking first 45 minutes is like, then I got pussy.Then I got pussy again.They tell you how much drugs we did.Oh yeah.And it was like, dude, I was watching.I'm like, I still love this movie.

I watch it as an, as an elder man. I was like, this fucking guys are punks.Yeah.They're punks.

Yeah.

It was also like, it was just, it was just, I, you know, I was watching it with a, with Brittany.So I'm kind of like, all right, he's blowing cocaine up her butt.with a straw.I'm sure she's not like, what is this?And I'm like, just let it go.

It's a good movie.

And then it was just 40 straight minutes to be like, and then she sucked my fucking dick.And I was like, Jesus Christ.It's a comedy.

Yeah.So you watch it as this guy's a fucking moron.Yeah, true.

And it's, I'll tell you what, then we watched a legend, a legend of

beggar vance Jesus it was it's been years.

It was awesome.Yeah, I was just like this is much better, and I was like dude I'm not gonna lie.This is much better not I'm gonna hate this is I mean I thought the Wolf of Wall Street was like one of the best if you had asked me before that my guess one of my favorite movies Yeah, rewatch it.

I was like.I think it was the setting you're in Yeah, I think that'll affect it for sure with the babe.Just going this movies kind of fucking me.Yeah, it's kind of this movie is gonna affect my night.My wife's gonna be like, is that what you want to do?No, of course not.

I would hate that.Just getting a ton of pussy and doing coke with my friends and being extremely rich.So it's no, I like this.

But he was talking about like fucking his cousin and like what they would do with a retarded kid.He's like, I throw it out in the woods.I was just like in the bed being like, It's better.

This is a weird crack.All right.

Could have been set in setting.You're right.It's been set in setting, but I genuinely was like, you know what, this is, this is kind of getting old, man.

What the fuck?Bagger Vance was just next level.Bagger Vance is Moses.

Moses.For real, I never saw Bagger Vance.It was amazing.I thought the movie was about Will Smith crushing it at golf.No.The whole time.

I thought Will Smith just crushed it in golf and not the case.

No.But is he just a caddy, a secret caddy?Super spiritual caddy.Yeah.

It's all about the field.It was kind of sick though.Bagger Vance, two thumbs up.Wolf of Wall Street, dude.No.Didn't like it.

It was, it was just, I was like, no, you're right.I'm going to have to give it a rewatch.It's too much.Yeah.Too much.And it's too much of that.

Like, I know what you're thinking.Me and my boys are crazy.That was, that was big during a, what is it called?Uh, not fight club.Fucking entourage.Yeah.

Entourage was big in.And what was the snatch?That was that big, like.

this is the craziest thing you'll ever see yeah and it'd be like Scorsese does a lot though yeah he always does it yeah I mean he's a master obviously I'm not gonna yeah you know I just it was good fellas holds up though good fellas is great It's great, every time.Yeah, Goodfellas is good.I used to always be confused, because when I lived with Tommy, he would watch it every night.That actually makes a lot of sense.He'd be drunk watching Goodfellas.Like, yeah, this guy watches everything.

Now, I understand.Yeah.You're drunk.It's one of the best movies.It's so good.

Just toss it on.Yeah.Yeah.No, it was, I'm getting old.I was watching.I'm like, this is fucking crass.

This is very crass.Disturbing.It's crude.Well, it's crude.It was crude.It was very crude.

There's no two ways about it, Matt.

Yeah, you know what?You're totally right.It was just him leaving his wife and fucking this chick, and I'm like, that's not good stuff right there.

This is crap.All right, turn this crap off.I don't even daydream about stuff like that.That's crazy.

Put on Bagger Vance.Yeah.I might start watching Bagger Vance every day.

Watch The Notebook.That's good.

Is that Your Husband Dies?Yeah.Yeah Let's run Chuck a lot back, but yeah, I was I was I was moving out, you know I was just crushing movies every night million -dollar, baby.That was a sad one I don't think I've ever seen that MDB is sad, bro Yeah, and it's funny as I knew you are you familiar like kind of with the plotline?Yeah, so I kind of knew what was coming Brittany had no clue so she's like, you know, like oh she's gonna take over and be the champ and I was just like Kind of.We'll see.

Well, that's what happened to me watching fucking Train Dreams.I was like, man, this guy's life is awesome.I was going to bed like, what the fuck was that?It's sad as hell.That could have been why I woke up with the Irish good morning.

That'll do it.

Yeah.The Irish good morning is just like, look at you, you piece of shit.Your life's in shambles.

Told you my mom hit me up the other day with just the worst news about people I don't even know.I was like, thanks.That's horrible.That's absolutely horrible.She's like, I guess this is a little grim.I'm like, yeah, I don't need this right now.

I'll be on a walk.

I don't know.

I'll be on a walk.My mom will call and just be like, Their kid's not doing good.Oh my god.Who?Who are these people?It's a girl I used to work with.

Like in the fucking 90s?Do they live around us?It's like they're in Kentucky now.So you just call them to tell me about a terrible tragedy in Kentucky right now.I'm like, all right, mom, I'm going to go.Oh, okay.

Um, all right.Have we talked for too long?Oh my God.

I mean, they got to offload that.Cause that does get crazy getting older and older to win like more.I mean, I know like, I don't know how many people, you know, your age range that died.It's been like not a ton, not too many, but yeah, it's, uh, they get to the age where it's like people start dropping and all you can do is party at the beach, party hard.Just stay tuned to the Fox News.Parrot the shit.

Yeah, dude, we have to bomb Iran.I mean, bro.I think we bombed them again yesterday.You're wrong.

I think so.Gotta be done.

Oh, here we go.Another one?There's a Trump fart video?There's another fart video has dropped.Send me the link.Send me the link, dude.

I'll try to verify this.Can we make sure it's real?

Dude, these farts are crazy.

There was a lot of farts on both sides of the aisle for a while.The fart vids are huge.Sorry, I just farted myself.I mean, doesn't he, like, crush Mickey D's and shit?

I saw he just got out of the hospital or something.He did a checkup or whatever.It was all amazing.Yeah, I'm sure everything was great.

Everything was fucking amazing.He's sharp as hell.Best farts.

He's also 80 and crushing McDonald's.The farts must be fucking chaos, dude.Yeah.

When you're 80, there's gotta be parts of you that are kind of dead already.

Everything.

You're like a Pirates of the Caribbean guy.Is it real?

We gotta get - I gotta get - Dude, I have it right here.

Damn, it's like an old, like, it's an old, uh...Yeah.Nixon mic.I'd like to see it.That'd be crazy if that was, if that was his, like, secret Nixon recordings, which is like...Just non -stop farts.

Oh my god, dude.Let me see.That's so fake.

I mean, stepping behind the column is respectable and true.

So what?It was just me.Dude, the people in front not dying laughing.It can't be real.They're trained.

They're trained, dude.

They're machines, dude.You can't be trained for that.Just ripping that fart.No one on earth can survive that.

Yeah.Yeah, the political, like, fart smears are crazy.It's like you have no way of proving if it's true or not.

Yeah, and that was recorded from a fucking disc.

Yeah, that's what I mean.No, you have to...

There's no way.If that's real, that's awesome.Yeah.Yeah.

He's outside, it looked like.

Yeah, but he was behind the column, and I'm saying the acoustics of the old.You want to believe, dude?

Yeah, that's a that's a little bit.You want to smell that far, dude?That's a little sniff that far.You love.He pooped his pants.

It smells like a thirty nine count felon.Yeah.Yeah.There is a there is a major AOC was getting levy to farts.AOC apparently had farts.Trump had farts.

Biden barely shit himself.There was a lot of shit and self and farts going around like COVID in their COVID era.

Yeah, the shoe's on the other foot now and the Republicans don't like it much.See, it's kind of mean when you fake audio.If it's real, then that's incredible.We need to get verified.

I mean, how do you, you'd have to call the journalist and they'd have to be like, yeah, I was there.He fucking farted.

It was crazy.It's crazy.It could be a whistleblower.One of the, one of the Secret Service can be like, dude, that was real.He fucking uncorked one as soon as he got out of the car.

What's the point of being the president if you have to hold in your farts?You know what I'm saying?You're, you're the boss and you got to just hold in your, no, you move behind a pillar, gentlemanly.You probably learned that in fucking etiquette school.You find, find a giant stucco pillar and you just rip.Yeah.

I was back on the cheese for the vacation.I was, that was nothing.You were hitting cheese?I was crushing cheese all vacay.

Beach farts are crazy, dude.

It was, yeah, fully sun -powered, chi, and then we went to the beach.in bagger Vance and just I Was real I just was my dad that was in my dad's house Just doing exactly what he does is watching movies with a lady and farting and then feeding catfish It's pretty much all I did all it was kind of nice fucking where it's at.Yeah, it was I mean I can you can tell I'm Sun Maxon right now, too.I'm just completely I'm selling them I'm getting melanated or dying trying this summer It's all you can do.I just, it's all I get.

You're going to die trying.That's what happens to all of our ancestors, dude.

I got a nice, I mean, I have like a solid.That's a crazy tan, dude.Bro, I just been raw dogging the sun.Just letting it just crush me.Dude, I sleep good.I feel better.

I'll get sun cancer in 20 years, but that's nothing, bro.You get the MJ lasers.

Cut it right out.

Yeah, my dad got - my dad had skin cancer a couple years ago.They just fucking cut that shit right out.

People have skin cancer every ten minutes.Yeah, who cares?It's non -stop.It's nothing.He sun -maxed his whole life.It's fucking wild.

I know.He's one freckle at this point.He literally became a black guy.He's Dr. Umar, dude.

He, all his freckles join forces.

He's got to open the John Elway, Fred and Doug Flutie Academy.Doug Flutie and John Elway Academy.

True.

I should just, yeah, the Larry Bird.The Larry Bird Academy for higher learning.

I feel really bad if he opens it tomorrow.I'm like, fuck.Although, I feel good.No, that'd be great.That'd be great.of our voices, we found power in our voices and got him to open up.

You know, I'm sending my kids there.

He would not be happy, dude.I wonder how he feels about that.Poorly, he would hate it.Yeah, he would hate that.

Yeah, he would be fucking furious.What are you talking about?He would not like it.Although I wonder, I wonder, I wonder if you, you know, if you commit to the bit.I wonder if there's a part of his heart that goes like, I love all children.He has to be like, shut up, dude.

You're going to ruin our whole fucking career.

Yeah.

Everything we built.You hate them.

Yeah.Although, I mean, I don't know.He probably doesn't hate them.He probably doesn't.It's too bad Stern doesn't get down like that anymore.We could have Umar versus, what was that guy's name?

Carver?Daniel Carver, the Klansman that he used to bring on Stern.Carver versus Dr. Umar would be a battle.That would be a battle.

You could probably still set that up.And honestly, it's like, you know, it's a faith.It's a, you let them fucking debate.

We could do that from now.That could be a little segment you and I do on the show.Do you just do racist battle bots every week?You bring in a different type of racist guy.A racist fool would be sick.

They're out there too.They are out there.Yeah, getting a nice little, sending like a racist foo against like a, like a U of T gender studies major.It would be so nice.So it'd be, we'd have to throw the red flag.It'd be three seconds.

He'd be like, bitch.He'd be like, all right, come on.

Hold on.Get them out of here.

Hold on.My foo, my foo's going wild.

Racist battle bots would be sick, dude.It'd be awesome.You and me could just not be on camera.Yeah, it'd be amazing.I'd have two people sit right here.Just let them fucking be racist to each other.

We get mystery science theater.

You just see our heads right in the camera.

And I'd like to hear you elaborate on that actually.Keep going.Now's the period of the question and response.We'll step in if we need to moderate.It'd be nice.It'd be nice to just having just like, almost, you know, the dudes are calling a sports radio, just letting guys go.

dude.

Like, yo, what do you think about people call in?

Yeah.Or just come in, having them come in and be like, yo, the floor is yours.You're a steelworker from Montana battling whoever, you know, this guy, some weird guy who believes in aliens, fucking go rip.It would be like the scrapyard, but for debate.Yeah.We're just, I mean, I'm, I'm all scrapyard right now.

Of course.I'm all the street beefs.Shout out street beefs, street beefs, street beefs, scrapyard, the same thing.Or is it similar?I think so.Okay.

Well, they've been getting, I've been seeing a lot of, um, look it up.Yeah, we need, we need, uh, we need some Intel on that please.We, I've been seeing a lot of, uh, like 55 year olds versus 21 year olds and it's, God, it's a really good matchup.Oh boy.What's his name?What's the guy?

Something like that.

What's the guy fighting for his fallen friend.

Barn dog.Barn dogs.Nice barn dogs.Real nice gas station.White shout out gas station.

White.Yeah.Barn dog.The speeches are the best.

Yeah.

So my friend killed himself fighting for him.It's pretty, he really root for me.Yeah, he sent me that guy.Yeah, he's a good one.How'd you like the guy who goes, this is just a test?That was trouble.

Dog said he found his friend hanging and he had to cut him down.Yeah, that's tough.Yeah.

Yeah.Thanks.Thanks, my man.Let's get that involved.

Toss that in the mix.Although you can see it, it's fighting though, man.

He's like, I mean, being a 55 year old, Graveyard is like the Pacific Northwest street beefs Contingent hmm, okay, they're all under the street beefs umbrella.Yeah, but it's not Satan's backyard It's a different you ever fantasize about throwing a hat in the ring in a scrapyard.

Yeah, I'd be real so scary Yeah, I think about it.I think about it.I'd have to be very scaredabout the fight, but it's I every time I watch it There's a part of me being like bro.I want to get in the fucking plywood, dude.You want to fight death sentence?

Yeah, Matt Maverick's death sentence whose death sentence is a spindly fella Is he a knockout artist?

Is he a jiu -jitsu guy?

I feel like he kind of loses a lot.He's an anime black guy who kind of...

Oh, I saw him, I saw him, yeah.He trains under the tutelage of Demetrius Mighty Mouse Johnson.Does he really?Yeah, true.

But there's another one.There's an anime white that fights with him.Winged C. What's his name?Winged C. Winged C. He's nice.He's from like... 717's all in the fucking scrap yard.Street beefs, excuse me.

Yeah, I saw that guy, the anime black guy, who was like... brought in, which again, who's the guy in the suit that acts like a weirdo that like acts like he's teaching.

I don't know his name, but I know exactly what you're talking about.He acts like he's like in a John Wick movie or something.He's pretty good.Yeah.Yeah.

It's, I mean, it's, and every now and again, there'll be guys, I think they do a good job putting skill against skill, but they don't, they don't really couple of times they've whiffed a couple of times.

He wants to feed a guy the lions.Pappas is the suit guy.It was a black guy.I just watched it.He was wearing a suit.And it was a good battle.

And then in the third round, his shirt was off.And I was like, all right, it's time to, it's time to lock in.Not in trouble.

Dude, scrapyards.I don't know, man.It might be my preferred arena of watching combat sports.Dying in the scrapyard would be...So horrible.Bury me, dude, right in the center ring.

That'd be nice.Even if I got, like, really hurt, just bury me right in the center ring.

Sprained wrist.That's it.I'm done, dude.Bury me at the scrapyard.

Oh, I didn't tell you my, uh, speaking of bury me, dude, my, my brother had, he was in the shower.He's telling me about it.It was killing me.He had the, he was in the shower and he's just like soaping himself up and he felt a little lump on the testes and he goes, fuck dude.He's just like.That's it.

I'm dead.Like, I'm not doing anything.I'm not gonna talk about it.I'm just gonna ride this out.It's over, bro.I got the big C. I'm out.

" And then as he's investigating, he's like, what the fuck?And he found out it was a tick.He had a tick that had burrowed halfway in.I know, dude.So he had it burrowed in.to his nuts.

And once he found this out, he was like, he went to his wife and was like, yo, you got to get this thing out of me.Oh my God.So dude, he goes, he was like, huge.First of all, big mistake.Both me and my dad were like, you gotta go to the emergency.You can't have your wife do that because they don't do, they're going to just pick you right in dudes.

Well, it's just also there's women don't have a, uh, you know, they don't realize how truly sensitive and like terrifying that is to get hit in the nuts or like a tick in there of all things.So, I mean, if it was soaking, if it was like sucking cum out of you, that'd be sick.But like, just all day, like, fuck.

It was on your epididymis.That's a different thing.

Something's wrong.But it was, it was just there.So then he was like, you know, obviously she's pulling it out.No respect for the sack.just yanking at that thing.And he goes, dude, he's like, I was demoted just multiple leagues in her.

Cause like, he's like, it ended with like, I was such a baby about it.I had like a towel over my top half of my body.I was like, Oh, of course I know the whole time he was telling me, I'm like, you're so right.And he goes, no, but dude, like the whole time he was like, Oh, he was like, I was, I was like,

crying I mean now I want to check my sack I think this is the second time we've caused the listener to physically react, including turning his neck as hard as he could.I think almost everybody listening wanted to go, I wonder how far...

Dude, he was telling me this story the whole time.I was going, no, no.

And right now everyone's going, I should definitely check my nuts.You gotta check your nuts.Apparently, the tics are big, apparently.Yeah, they're going wild right now.

Everyone thinks it's Bill Gates' tics.I think they are Bill Gates.He had a Bill Gates.

He had the Bill Gates tick right in the sack.And, uh, dude, and he has to go to the hospital.

That's both me and my dad were like, bro, that's not enough.He has Lyme disease now.He already conquered Lyme disease.He fasted for two weeks straight.He did a 14 day fast conquer life.He didn't eat for fucking 14 days.

He claimed it helped him.

He claimed it helped him.He probably destroyed himself.People don't recover from that.Limes?No, like prisoners of war that are like...No, you can rock.

Dude, you can do two weeks.Yeah.

He dry fasted for four days until his vision blurred.He's like, I for real thought I was going to die.

Yeah, I think that fucks you up.He didn't drink water for four straight days.I know the fasting community.Obviously, I'm not the one to speak on it, but...

Fourteen's crazy.I've done five and I felt like, all right, this is getting...But apparently what happens is after, like, You know, one day is like, Oh, fuck two days.Like, damn, I feel fucking amazing.So he said it would just be up and down and you'd be like, awesome.I think by the end of it, he was genuinely fucked up.

He starts shitting like all kinds of crazy shit out too.Cause you're, I don't know what's going on when you don't eat your body's like, all right, just get rid of all this stuff.He claims he looked into it and that helps with Lyme disease.Could be wrong.Look that up guys.Let's see.

Let's get some information on 14 day fast.

Yeah, I think he's what even is I don't even know what the fuck it is I think it's a I think it was a bioweapon Lyme disease.Yeah could be I think it was I think it came from a military island off Yeah off the coast of Connecticut lines, Connecticut and all the ticks maybe got out like escaped What the free sort of biting all the Yankees up there how fuck all the Ocon men we're getting Sweet Ocon man, we're getting big on all great Fuck.

Now I'm tired in the afternoon.I got fucking Bell's palsy.Fuck.

Let's get the science.It says, well, right off the bat, Google AI, Gemini says, no, it is not scientifically proven to cure.AI hates fasting.But it may help reduce overall inflammation and promote cellular repair.So, so yes, it doesn't eradicate.Kate the bacteria, but it can help in certain things.

And you should also take antibiotics because you could get fucked up from Lyme's disease.Like you can, uh, your joints, hearts, nervous joints, heart, nervous system.They could all get fucked up if you don't treat it.

Straight to the motherboard, dude.That was, that was the Randy Quaid.

Oh yeah, it was.

But he got it pulled off and he, uh, yeah, he was, how long ago did this happen?It was only a couple of weeks ago.

Okay.Yeah.He said a couple of weeks though.He's doing all right.Yeah.So he's all right.

He was, he was benched from the, uh, from the bedroom for a while.He's like, bro, I don't think I'll ever smash again.

So I saw him at his worst lady.Just like your hairy ass wiggling, like, which is what I would, anyone would do if you were getting your sack.I would definitely react to that.I would never show.I would do that myself.Oh, the pull the tick out yourself.

You would have to.

I don't know if I could, dude.I had the fucking bug bite on my foot.I couldn't get that thing off.tried to dig it out, but I went right to bay like pull this out, please You can but not on your sack.We actually have to take them out That's at least on your skin You just got it suck it up and sit in the ER for fucking five hours and let it let a fucking lady or whoever Actually, we pause for a second.

I do have to pee.Let's do it.Okay.I just want to see the mayor beg on the pavement But yeah, that was a harrowing tale.I uh Watched a little documentary on Mao Zedong.What's he up to?

He's dead, but he killed a lot of people on the way out.Why?It's important to study communism.Yeah.Because, you know, the youngsters these days, they think it's far out and fly.Yeah, it's really weird.

It's not.Usually results in about 50 million people dying.Doesn't work.Typically.

Yeah.

No, it's pretty.

I mean, that's, you know, again, I've been making the YouTube debate spear watching that, and that's a big one.Like, how are you even comfortable calling yourself a communist if that many people died?And it's like, well, it's because it sounds nice.

You know, it's like, no, we share and it's like, it starts with the seizure of private property.

Exactly.

That's fucking crazy.Yeah.It is funny where it's like built on.

It's like, it's not really sharing.

It's built on the government taking everyone's property.What the fuck?The government's terrible.Yeah.I don't trust them with anything.It'd be horrible.

Why do people want to give them more power?What the hell?Because this is the mayor.You love the government.You love the government.We need to pay more taxes.

I want to pay more taxes.We need more money.

I don't need to pay more taxes.

Yeah, you don't.I fucking do.

I mean, it would be funny to be like with like Nazism, be like, well, they didn't really do that right.They kind of messed it up.We should run it again.That's the big, that's the big communist thing.

They go like, well, yeah, that wasn't, they didn't do it right.It is actually that there are two, what is it?

Communism is what?Two for two.

I mean, they have a couple other ones, but they have two big bad, the Soviet union in China are the two big bad boys.Yeah.

Yeah.

Not good.Yeah.

It was, I mean, it was like, how many, how many did Mal get?Like 20 mil way more.

Yeah.In like a three year period, they think it might be, I mean, the estimates are, no one knows.Anytime something happens in China, they're like, and then 450 ,000 billion people died in the fucking yellow revolution.But no, I think it was like the great leap forward and it was like estimated at 45 mil of fucking starvation.

God damn.And that's how it works.You come into power as the communist leader, then you go, all right, here's the plan.And people are like, I don't know about that.You just murder them.

Yes, cuz you're like, yeah, okay, that's kind of this guy's he's anti -revolutionary.Yeah, he's against the party You got to arrest him and he they did a like the way it started was they they got all the kids they got like the college students Yeah, and then they were like encouraging them to be violent towards like older people in the old system What so they would like beat up their professors and shit, which I've been tough to tough to not fall victim to that I go, wait a second, there's a new president saying I should go fucking punch my teacher in the stomach?Punch this dork in the fucking head?And then I get all this stuff.Those kids were definitely getting straight A's though, right before the revolution.Teacher being like, everybody did great again.

Yeah, that, that, uh, well, it's one of those things that like, it is funny.It sounds so nice in theory, like, yeah, we're all shared.It'll be nice.And it's like, but in the meantime, we're going to fucking, running is what people do.and then know it don't want it I don't feel like anyone ever does that well under the people at the top do yeah every single time they do really good that's gotta be sweet yeah the pigs move into the man's house start standing and wearing clothes all the other animals go what the fuck being the party boss well I've also heard a thing that like communism doesn't even work unless it's global So they were like, that was like the real dream.

It's Marxist.Yeah.They're like, well, it's gotta be global.Yeah.

Just a very funny philosophy.Like, yeah, if everybody does it, it'll work.It's like, yeah, it's kind of tricky.

Yeah.It's crud.I think it's crud.

Also, it's not even sharing at that point.You know what I mean?It's like, we should share it.And you put someone at gunpoint, you're like, give them that.It's like when you do it with the kids, you're like, share your toys.And you're like, fuck here.

Having a billion people doing that is not, you know, it's not really gonna work.

No, they took all their grub, dude.Grub is, dude.You weren't even allowed to have restaurants.They had to have government -sanctioned fucking, like, canteens where everyone had to eat gruel together.Sucks.Blows dick.

That sucks so bad.Yes, and then they miscalculated how much grain they had.Ah.So they were taking all the peasants' grub.What?Yeah.

Then 45 million people starved.Dang.That's crazy.

It's a massive mistake.Here's the thing, after it happened, did people come out and be like, my bad, or was it just like...

Mal said, my bad.Did he?Kind of.They were like, alright, you're not the leader for a few more years, and then he came back.

What?

Yeah.

Did he have the sauce, or what?

He did have the sauce.

Fuck.

That's the thing about all these leaders, they do have the sauce.That's true.So how many people died the first time, and then he got to come back again?That's kind of nuts.I swear it was 45 million.Roughly.

I mean, they have no idea, but...

I heard a guy saying 80 the other day.Yeah, max 80 they say.But the Great Leap Forward, they estimate 45.But then over the whole time, they say around 80.

And that's starvation, murder, like just everything.War camps.War camps.

You got to build tractors, dude.We got to get some fucking nice tractors.Fuck, dude.You're a slave now, and you're building tractors because you said you didn't like Mal.That sucks.Yeah.

Did that kind of, you know, it sucks 90 million people died.Did that step China forward as a power?Fucking huge.

Oh, it works.No.Yeah.They're on track to be number one right now.Oh God.Yeah.

It works.

Oh man.That's terrible.I hope these fucking computers work.

If you're not afraid to kill most of your population, you'll be, you can do stuff.Yeah.

Fuck.And nobody's been out of shape about it over there?Or are they kind of like...

If you're bent out of shape about it, you and your family get killed.So, everyone's pretty chill with it.

Today?

I'm sure today they're fine.

Yeah.

Yeah.I think they moved on.Yeah.I'm sure some people hold on to some...I'd be upset.Yeah, what year are we talking?

Like the 50s?That's pretty recent.The Great Leap Forward was probably end of the 50s, right?That's pretty recent.Yeah.

And so, China was like pretty poor.

Yeah.

And then this guy's like, I got an idea.

They got rocked in World War II.Yeah.Yeah.

And he was basically like, what if we turn people into Legos?Yes.Jesus Christ.That's so bad.

Yeah.And then the other government went to Taiwan.That was who we recognized.Right.Like those are the real leaders of China.And then in the seventies, I think we were like, ah, you guys suck.

What?It's China.

I thought China was asso.

China is asso.But Taiwan, we don't have one.So the original, the Chinese government is like,during the communist.Yeah.Yeah, they relocated a Taiwan don't we fuck?

Yeah, we still fuck with Taiwan, but then we finally recognized communist China is the real China got you were like, yeah you guys let's stop pretending I mean, it's kind of embarrassing.I got a nuke and then they dang now did get it done.

He fucking did I Mean it sucks that you know I mean, although the thing, too, is once you get to not killing 90 million people, it's almost just absurd.

Now you sound like Joseph Stalin, dude.Really?One death is a tragedy.A million is a statistic, dude.

It is, dude.And a million is just like, all right.

Something like that.I was close with that quote.

I think you're 100 % right.Because if you were telling me, like, one day, and there was this kid, and he stepped on the kid's head and killed him, like, monster.Yeah.90, you're like, guy was motivated.

What the fuck did he kill 90 people?

Yeah, the guy had a plan.This guy is nuts.Yeah, that's horrible, man.It's also funny getting kicked out and then being like, yeah, my bad, my bad.

You're gonna be vice chairman for five or six years and then you come back.He's a player too.And he had a nasty wife, dude.Did he?Yeah.He married an actress who was like a fucking loudmouth, dude.

She was a problem.Did he kill her?And then when he died, they sentenced her to death.Oh, that's right.

I knew she got some sort of death.

Which I think they changed it to life in prison and then she killed herself.What?In jail, yeah.Honoring the boy.Really?He's like, Mal's the man, dude.

I'm gonna kill myself.Got a sec.But I think she died in like the 90s.Mal's wife?Yeah.I didn't hear - It was this recent that we were alive at the same time as his fucking wife.

Damn.

Yeah.91.

How did Mal die?

Damn, dude.She was alive for Notre Dame's last title.That's how long it's been, dude.

Got to watch it from the jail.

Mal's wife was like, oh, Notre Dame.

just number one.

Oh, Rue Holtz.And when did he die?How did Mao die?He had to be murdered, right?He died.I forget.

Was it cancer?How did he die?Dang.Yeah.

And he had a major heart attack in 1976.

He looked exactly like my grandpa.

Did he really?Yeah.

My mom's side of the family is very Asian features.I might be a descendant of the great Mao Zedong.Dude.

I've been meaning to look into that guy.

Might be a descendant.Could be.I'm working on the fucking do right now, dude.I might get the mal -do going.

He's got the Robotnik.

I'm gonna have the do.

I have the do.

The mal -say -do.But yeah, it turns out he was a jerk.I watched enough of it.

We always hear he's a jerk, but then it's like, and you always hear he put up numbers, but like...He put up the most.Number one.That's crazy.Number one all the time.And nobody really, uh...

You know, Yuri's a bad guy, obviously, but...Hello.That's true.That's true.

We're going to edit that out.All right, we did it.Good episode.

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