Escaping Prison on the Unstable SMP

On the Unstable SMP, the world's largest hardcore Minecraft SMP, I'm currently trapped in prison, scheduled for execution due to my crime of banning over 1,000 players. I was imprisoned by a faction called The Law. Led by a player named Lettuce K, they believe that Unstable needs to move away from the anarchy server that it's been, towards a server with actual rules and a ruler. Let us promise that if he's elected as the king of the unstable SMP, he'll promptly execute me. Which obviously I don't want to happen. So I need to escape this prison before my execution date.

Somebody's time is up! It's been a week, buddy. Hope you enjoyed your stay. You're done.

Yeah, I-

Let's go!

Okay.

But escaping would not be easy. Last time I tried escaping, I got caught and sent to solitary confinement for an entire real-life week. Between all of the Elder Guardians giving mining fatigue, guards in the walls listening to every conversation, and an airlock system to every room, escape was looking impossible.

I'd hate to see you down here again, personally.

So, for the time being, I decided to cooperate, heading back to my regular cell for the night, and waiting until the next day. You see, every day we have to do different jobs in the prison, and at night we're forced to wait in our cells. And while AFK, I thought about my last escape attempt. You see, I did actually have a way to escape, a player named Spoke. Somehow, while I was in solitary, he bypassed all the guards, offering to free me as long as I agreed to work for him, which I declined. Get yourself back in here and I will speak with you again. But the fact that Spoke was even able to make it to my solitary cell

in the first place means that there's definitely a way to break out of this prison.

I was solitary, huh?

Better than being in these cells, actually. So we headed to breakfast for the morning. The only time we're ever given food.

Everyone, all of you behave.

Get in. OK, don't hurt me. After being given food, we are brought to our job for the day, mining in the ravine, literally the only time we're allowed outside of the prison, where we're forced to just mine blocks all day with a wooden pickaxe. It may look like the lowest security area of the prison, but escape is still basically impossible. Yo, can we leave? They're all trapped. Can we leave? I trapped them. I trapped them. I had a block on me.

Yeah, look up, dummy. Look up! Making things even harder, after finishing mining for the day, we're usually item checked, meaning that we can't smuggle any items back. But clearly, the other prisoners also want to escape. If we could just work together somehow, we could probably figure something out. But we literally can't communicate, since there's guards everywhere and in the walls.

If we say anything in proximity chat, it will be overheard and we'll be punished. So my first objective if I wanted to escape would be finding a way to communicate with everyone else It's secret you guys better be excited for this one. This is a I'm not how big is this place shield crafting? What could we possibly need to craft shields for?

tree farm

So we have some some wooden axes for you guys and you guys will be chopping down the trees and we also have mining fatigue 3 So that's not my problem Take your axes

We have mining fatigue though. Like what? How do we do it?

To crack it here

You almost got it keep going Keep mining for me

Okay One milk for the entire day use it wisely Keep mining for me. Thank you. I'm gonna put milk. Okay

One milk for the entire day use it wisely

Get all the leaves as fast as possible. Go go go

We got an apple we win the prize

See, I'm I'm stuck it. Oh, I'm mine one block of wood

Keep going. I just got money for te yet. You can see my particles

Hey, I said one ball I just got money for tea yet. You can see my particles You got lucky okay, you know how to get out of them I can't even break it How have you got water so not gonna be that? Drop it you've got conjaban here here. I gave my water I'm like about to drop your bucket. Okay, okay. Okay. I can't lose I'm making a mechanism

Oh bad, I body fatigue. Yeah

What happened? I'm killing both selling two trapdoors for nothing. You're not doing anything

I'm killing both slop

Nice, I like it. Okay here. I'll add some

We got a house now, that's nice. This is the OP starter base.

Dude, we're making civilization. We're making a civilization.

Stop!

You know what, I like this place. I'm gonna put you in a box again. We can just build our own world in here. I'm here Do I do I do you like a writing your guys's performance today from like 1 to 10? Thank you, bro. I give my sex if I'm gonna rate them. I'm gonna I'm gonna do individual scores Prince I'm you're a freaking minus seven

Minus seven

Drop everything drop everything so you're okay. You're a bit more full of cakes now Everything on the floor everything on the floor. No, you have to fill up all your slots. Oh, yes. That's all my slots Oh, yes, but this cakes on the floor. So thank you Put them in the freaking chest, bro We've done this like wise

Really don't know how this mechanism works.

You're in.

Go.

Go. Go. You don't have to hit me. That's a little extra.

Don't you think?

There are extra cakes for some reason.

Oh yeah, because you're supposed to fill up every single slot.

Oh, including the crafting grid.

Yeah, yeah.

All the slots.

Okay.

My everything is full.

All the cakes are up.

All right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I have to drop you guys are generally gonna give me like an aneurysm and it's it's I'm gonna die. What do I drop my stuff? Where do I drop it? Where do I drop it? Okay, 15.7 Thank you Stop all right, you're in I'm it. Why did you hit me? I'm like doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I literally don't care, bro. I hate you.

Can I just- Can I let all the cakes dispense first before I-

Sure, bro. Do whatever you frickin' want, bruh.

Can I go back to solitary?

We can win!

Stop!

Fight now or lose! I know you two will hate solitary breath

Here wait, where should I drop my items? Oh my god. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You don't even know who it was. You don't even know. So I was just freaking you really yell at me.

Now I'm going to throw dirt in your eye. I think it broke. It's just it's dispensing nothing over and over again.

Oh, my God. I bet you broke it as well. Let me breathe. Let me breathe. Let me breathe.

I did the check. My items are here. Ow, ow, ow, my fireplace.

Okay.

Thank you. Finally, Brett.

Genuinely, finally.

I'm so tired of this.

You trying to put the cakes back?

Yes.

Put the cakes in the crispy thing.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to do that.

Why are you hitting me?

That was Prince Sam. Get rid of these items, get rid of these items, bruh. Ow! I'm taking you guys back to the cell block. I'm so done with it today.

Thank god.

It's- it's-

YAY!

Come in here, everyone. Come on, come on.

Everyone in. It's bedtime.

It's a long day.

A long day.

Very long day.

Who wants to be my cellmate tonight?

No- no cellmates.

Me! No cellmates, you're all going by yourself. And stay there!

This is where you are tonight.

And you, you, the bane of my freaking existence. What did I do?

I have been a perfectly respectable prisoner.

It's not what you've done in here, bro. You've done plenty of stuff in here,

but it's just everything, bro.

I hate you.

I didn't do nothing. I have been the nicest prisoner since I got here shut up and go to bed okay since I'm such a nice prisoner I've generally had enough of you guys today so I'm taking a break I'm gonna turn off the lights and you guys can just

freaking go I don't care I'm gonna go get my phone. I'm gonna go get my phone. I'm gonna go get my phone. I'm gonna go get my phone. I'm gonna go get my phone. I'm gonna go get my phone. I'm gonna go get my phone. So Good morning guys!

Wow today is a big day. Because you wanna know something? You guys annoyed me so much yesterday that I had to get someone to whip you into shape. I'd like you guys to meet my good friend, Sergeant Raxby. He's gonna be here to help you.

Isn't that like a fast food chain? What? No, he is the sergeant of the day.

Good afternoon. Zaxby's? Yeah, that's... Oh!

No, Raxby.

I'm here to whip you into shape.

I can't see you, the door is blocking your face. You swell fry! Okay, I still can't see your face because of your...

Okay, sorry.

You think this is a game?

Yes.

This is serious, loser. Okay. It's a serious loser. You guys will become the future of the law and learn to fight for us.

I really don't want to do that.

I also don't want to do that.

Well guess what? I don't care.

So get a move on, small fry.

Sir yes sir, I guess.

Move!

We're playing Minecraft, bro.

Yeah, okay.

Whatever, whatever does he give me We're playing Minecraft, bro. Yeah, okay.

Whatever, whatever does he give me hit, I'll do, okay? Just make sure I don't get hit

because I don't have any health, please. Don't look at me like that, fans, I hate you.

The only person who will look after you is yourself.

Okay, I physically can't, you haven't given me any food.

You're so greedy I'm not greedy I just really want to return now no in the right group dude it's it's it's just like real life

follow me to the stones as you know there is an election going on and the The law has many enemies. We need to be strong. Thirst.

Our food.

Yeah!

See, that is a soldier with spirit. I'm just trying to be enthusiastic.

Just for that, you get a reward.

Oh, thanks bro.

Yeah!

One million!

I won it!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Look at all these copiers.

I just really need the food.

You gonna give me the melon or not, bro?

You're literally jumping as you say that.

You're wasting the saturation.

Yeah, please, please, please, please, please.

You are the subject of your own despair.

Anyways.

Okay.

All right, now it's time for power training. This way. All right. First two.

Bubble.

Bubble.

And Fanta. All right, first two. Bubble. Bubble.

And Fizzle.

Fizzle my ass.

Got it.

Now, line up.

What do I do?

And hit the targets.

What does this do for anyone?

Dude, they're practicing archery.

Go, go, go!

Oh my gosh.

I got one.

You guys are trash!

This is my first time shooting a bow.

Why do they seem so much closer?

You think the R&D will be kind to you?

I hit everyone, bro. Do I need to keep going?

No!

Alright. I'm actually hitting everything. Fire! Keep bowing! I had everyone enough have you ever shot a bow? I'm strong enough have you ever shot a bow? I'm weak dude I'm weak. No no no you try shooting a bow because I don't I bet you you get better than me done yeah you miss bro I've beat people twice your size twice my size how is that even possible? Minecraft players don't get any larger than me., you're right, they don't get larger than you really Okay, Zach's bees

I'm running out arrows. Can I get more?

I have two arrows left

Fire

Faster stop missing Faster! Faster! I'm going faster! Stop missing!

Oh, yeah, okay.

You guys are weak!

Here we go.

Where are you first?

Yeah, watch this, watch this.

See how fast we're going?

Yeah, but I'm going faster!

Shoot faster!

I'm going faster than you, bro!

Here we go!

Ow!

Who do you think you are?

It was an accident, it was an accident! I'm just going fast. Don't you point that at me, Bumble!

I'm not!

What?

Why'd you shoot me?

You are supposed to be comrades! You have to work together!

I'm shooting!

Can I retrieve my arrows? Can I run up there and grab them?

Just keep shooting slow. I'm getting my arrows. I'm getting these arrows. Alright, you make your little arrows just keep shooting slow I'm getting my arrows I'm getting these arrows I'm gonna kill you yeah don't show you want you're gonna

kill me yeah there is a guy who hard look I'm going melon. Here, go on, melon!

Melon? You have plenty of short health.

For me?

Give me melon.

You guys can each have one melon.

Yaaay!

That's it.

Haha, I have two melons.

I'm getting more arrows back, I don't care.

I'm getting arrows back too.

Go get your arrows! Run, run! Run!

Run! Run, run! Run, run!

Oh, by the way, don't shoot Bobble in the face. Don't shoot Bobble!

3, 2, 1, go! Okay, I'm going, I'm going.

I hit one, you missed.

I hit five.

Yes!

And that's all you need to know.

Now repeat! I don't know but I've been told. I don't know but I've been told.

But the lot is mighty Bolton

you know the rest of that song no they added a passage in that song hey wait

just about oh yeah what's this um I placed a fun little sign just for fun we've been messing around with it we're having fun yeah we're just waiting for our turn yeah you think you can have fun? No fun allowed! Please please I'm all in heart please please fans please don't point that bow at me.

We could ban him we could ban him. Permission to ban for exam sir?

Permission denied!

Please, give me food, please. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna genuinely die if you don't give me food.

They will be of use for midship!

I am on one heart, I need food right now. Please, please. I don't trust them with these bow and arrows, dude. Please.

Bubble!

I didn't do anything wrong, dude. Sergeant please You can have food princess Understood you may get... one melon! That's not a meal!

Enough with the sign!

Sorry, sir.

What does that mean?

No more sign.

Yo, when is it gonna be their turn, bro? I feel like I've been bowing for like 10 minutes.

Alright. Give me the bows back.

Okay, finally.

Now you want the bow back.

And the arrows. It's time for 1v1 drills now. Oh God.

Everyone, prepare for battle.

Sergeant, I have one heart.

Follow me then, you may get. Blue and Melon.

May I get another?

Oh, Wambu, please. Wambu, please.

What? What? One melon! May I get another- oh, Wambu, please. Wambu, please. Wambu, please.

I need food.

Hut, hut, hut, hut! Sergeant, please, I need food!

I need this!

Hut, hut, hut, hut!

Sergeant, please! To this drow you might get...

One melon!

One melon.

Sergeant, if I could get one more melon, I would be able to heal. So thank you, Sergeant. How long have you been on one heart for?

Like the entire day!

You will each have one carrot to heal.

I'll bet.

Thank god.

Starting off.

Are we actually one people now?

We will get.

Is that even a question?

Well yeah, that's why I asked.

Of course!

Thank you, Sergeant!

To know the enemy, you must know I asked. Of course! Yes, Sergeant! Oh.

To know the enemy, you must know each other!

Is that understood? Yes. I understand.

Yes, Mool! You have an M on your head like McDonald's.

Yes, Mool!

Yes.

Yes, Sergeant!

Yes, Sergeant.

Sergeant, he called you a baldie.

BALDIE! I just realized we're all bald. Like we can't take off our heads. Maybe it's best if he summons a Kurosa binding.

You will be fighting Waddle.

That is just not even close to my...

Wait, did we get any weapons? You'll be fighting water that is just not even close to my

Wait, do we get any weapons? I've been waiting for this one, bro

No

You'll be using your bare hands

Wait, what do we fight until? Do we just kill each other? I will give you each one totem and it will go until you're pop

Ready how bad this time man three And it will go until you're pop Ready

Wait we have mining fatigue this is so trash

Left right left right Left right very good shut up, please Left, right. Left, right. Left, right.

Very good.

Shut up, please.

Pretend.

Pretend that he's your biggest enemy.

I'm getting griefed by Prince Zan.

Motivate your friends.

Kill him, Webfoot, kill him!

I said motivate.

Oh, there goes the carrot. The health advantage comes out.

You should have saved yours then

You know if we had equal if we had equal health

Yeah, remember the last time we fought You had all your little tricks in your maces, buddy. I don't want to yes. I everyone says well. Thanks, Sam

And you like to help you there's no minute. I can't out

And you have a teammate helping right now wow you, you need all the help you can get, don't you? Wabuu, you are weak!

Weak?

No he's not!

Thanks, Sam.

You are cheeto!

Just know if I pop up for you, this means nothing.

Alright, I don't really care.

Now have fun!

Ow!

Oh wow, you got destroyed.

Whatever.

Next!

I don't want to go.

Sergeant, I need food, but I really want to go. I just need food though.

Well, you want to beat the beat up pants?

Most definitely.

What?

May I have another carrot, please, Sergeant?

Eat your carrot.

I already ate it already.

May I have another one?

You may have. Sergeant, please sergeant your carrot I already ate it already may I have another one

You may have

Yeah fight back

He's just banter Yeah Come here. Come here. Yeah, fight back. Yeah, fight back.

He's just banter.

Yeah, I'm just a drink. What are you, huh?

What are you?

Princess.

Oh, okay.

Princess.

I'm more than you'll ever be, man.

Oh yeah?

Oh, oh!

Very good.

Three, two, one.

Combo, combo mode.

Go. Come on go pretend. It's your greatest enemy. Oh, this is my grandma Commission grandma you're dead Yes, I win

He's out of the arena. I win I win

Return to the arena Stop stop return to the arena Get back here get back here Get back here Return to the arena

Die fist Oh Oh

Come on oh, yeah No, I hate you grandma. Yes! You're always talking about my stupid empire! This is about- NOOOOOO! You will regret this!

Very well!

You idiot!

I don't like you anymore.

Sergeant, let me ban him off the surface!

That's what you get, Fizz! I hate you! Dude, you- Very good, princess!

How much health were you at then, huh?

Break it up!

Break it up. No, I'll say it out. Oh Undisclosed now you're definitely have a heart bro. You're one more into your dad. Can I get a carrot? You might get a carrot

Golden carrot since I deserve it. Can I get a second one, too?

You make it one melon Fanta eggs at the arena. Oh my god brought even get a melon

Lando, yeah. Yes You and Sam will now fight! Uh.

For the finals!

Can I get a carrot? I'm on like no health.

Thanks.

Can I not do that?

You might get one carrot!

This isn't about what you want!

Yeah bro he had an empire bro.

Do you know that about him? Defining characteristic. Since then too by the way, but no one really cares about post empire.

Your empire is gone now!

Yeah, no one cares about post empire bro. I don't care about the empire. I really don't. People only care- no, we have- no.

All they do is talk about it. Ever since I've been here, all these two meatheads have done is talk about it.

All these stupid guards, all they've done is talk about it. I left him behind! I believe in free will! I think everyone should be able to do what they want! But instead, you guys came and locked me up in the same prison!

Bro, can we cut the yap and just start fighting please?

Okay, fine, whatever.

You guys will fight!

Yes sir!

Winner will keep their totem!

Yes, Sarge!

Three!

Wait, winner will keep their- okay, bet.

Two! One! Battle!

Hey, bro. Where you scared? Okay I'm sorry.

BURN! Okay. Okay. Wait you just hit me.

The battlefield will not always be fair.

Okay.

Okay.

Please.

Okay. What money do you have? No no no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, What the powerful deserve to be rewarded It's fair so can I get you make it

One Allen this does not even come close to replenishing my hunger now

Let's head to the mess hall young warriors have earned a meal

Luckily for us as well Sarge Raxby decided not to item check us, assuming that we would have nothing. And over the coming days, that kinda just happened for all the guards at the prison. Since we had been here for so long, they assumed that escape would be impossible. But now that we actually could communicate with each other, that was definitely no longer the case.

And we began with part one of the plan, trying to inconspicuously break each other's curse of finding arms.

Aren't you a farmer? Why did you get locked up?

Uh, long story, bro.

They're locking up farmers now.

Yeah, we're just locking up anyone.

You were a castle thief. And you're responsible for Flame's problems.

Okay.

Alright, friend of Flame, take care of him.

I love thank you base.

Right, you messed up real bad.

It sounds like.

Yeah, well, I'm just gonna live on my days.

Then you sound depressed, bro.

Sorry, I get food? Shut up!

No!

It's not dinner time.

When is dinner time? I'm hungry.

Want food please. When did you get let out of solitary?

Please.

Wait.

I think it just happened. Give me what I need.

I'll keep my eye on you.

Can I have food?

Wembley, you're so greedy, bro. I'm so bad at this. I think it just happened. Give me my name.

I'll keep my eye on you.

Can I have so greedy, bro?

Babble it, bro.

Oh, man.

Wow, dude, I just like I just like really love being in the prison.

Like it's just really a lot of fun.

It's just so lovely being in this prison. Honestly, like I'm not even like a little upset about it. Dude, yeah, like I just I just love supporting the law of the server. Yeah, honestly, the law is not that bad. I can agree with like, dude, honestly, they have a lot of really good points. So good. It's the right way to live Minecraft, you know, like it's just honestly just the way to go. Yeah, like it's just really a lot of fun. Yeah, I'm fully down with this prison thing. I honestly just wanna...

Dude, almost as fun as like musical chairs. Like we should play musical chairs and you and Batlub should swap places. Dude, yeah, I just love mining this table. It's just so lovely. It's just I couldn't I can't stop mining the table. I can't I can't stop. I just can't stop mining this table.

Nothing will stop me from mining this table. Oh, hello Furnished Air, my least favorite guard who I hate with all my heart. Uh, if you could come over here please real quick. Okay, I got something very important to tell you. They can't know though. Blurprintstein and Llamity, they cannot know, okay? Just me and you.

No, Blurprintstein! no okay just me and you no can you get the hell away from me it's been really bothering me I just really would like it if they stopped I just need blurb inside to get away from me like they keep coming closer and closer I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna kill you! Guard, stop!

No, don't!

I'm gonna kill you!

I'm gonna kill you!

No, don't!

Execute me, Blurpenstein, right now! Execute him now, Guard! I'm gonna kill you!

I'm gonna kill you! This is just lovely.

Wait, tell me... I'm gonna die! By the way, I don't know. This is just lovely

British air

Fine fine. What do you want to talk about bro? Let me get the hell out of here, bro I don't want to talk to you at all. Hey, that's my friend. Why are you guys friends? You know that blurrpin is the worst person in this prison? Why do you think he's been sent to solitary more times than me? Come on.

He did tell me he was stuck here.

Hey bro.

Um.

Prince Em.

You haven't even been here for three years, okay?

I don't know what- It's been three years.

It hasn't been three years.

Just stop. Just stop. Just stop. It hasn't been three years

I'm turning you into a rag. You're not turning me into a rug

Listen

Talk is back. I'm gonna turn you into a rag You have a pumpkin on your head bro! You're not gonna do anything to me, okay? What could we possibly be arguing about? Hello? Hello? Break this up! Break this- Yo! Stop this! Stop! Stop! Stop!

Calm down! Everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! Calm down! Everyone stop!

You see, after studying the prison for so long, I realized that most of the guards

standing around are usually AFK, but there were still the guards in the walls to worry about. So, let's go. ♪♪ ♪♪ the the ♪♪ ♪♪ What? death of death

of death of death

of Since we were here, I had the option of taking items out myself as well, but I decided against it in case we got item checked.

Yo, yo, what is happening in here?

Hello?

Right.

So.

I got lost trying to find, I think, so so the deputy what he said was so he said upstairs so it was this way right to the oh it was the bone meal chest it's right here i found it so you're not supposed to be in here i was told to be in here why are you here thinking was where where's the freaking purple freak where is he where is he what are you talking about ah we were sent on a mission to come here by deputy ace that's what I was trying to say like we came to the boat you weren't in there anymore you guys coming with me and you can't argue this

Genuinely I'm taking you guys to solitary and I'm item checking

I'm actually glad you're item checking because it really is a good thing. Wait, who? Tell us who's supposed to go first. Who's getting my getting item checked? I mean, we could both go at the same time. Me?

Go in.

Okay.

I'm going in. I mean, I have some items in my inventory. So where do I put them?

What?

Can I have it?

Drop them on the floor.

Okay, my bad.

Can I eat one of the cakes? What about the cake? I eat one of the cakes he's literally right in front of you favorite of friends how do you getting past like all the guards and security well boo if I was in your shoes in this cell right now it would only it would take me 15 minutes tops to get out without anybody seeing me anyone witnessing me maybe like 30 if I wanted

to have like some fun you know I mean surely you have some sort of plan some sort of way to get out it's not like you're just sitting here declining me of just giving you an easy way out let Let me let me think here. What could you possibly have done? Look bro, if you're just going to re-say the deal, get lost. I didn't mean to come to solitary, so. Surely there is no way you're declining my, my easy offer to you. My, your easy way out. There's no way you're going to decline that we don't have a plan to get out. Unless you do have a plan.

What are you thinking Wembil?

I'm thinking you should leave.

That armor, huh? Cursa binding. Very, an easy way to make sure a prisoner just doesn't run out and blend in with the guards. Easy way for them to just not go fully invisible. I mean, an invisibility potion like this is probably what you're missing right now, right?

This is your little last piece. Hmm. But if that armor has Curse of Binding on it, surely you're gonna have to figure out a way to break it. Well, how would you break it, surely you're going to have to figure out a way to break it. Well, how would you break it, though? I mean, it's simple. You just get like you can get people to punch you. You can find a place to repeatedly take damage.

I mean, there's so many ways. Honestly, yeah, if you get this invisibility potion in my hand right now, like right here, I mean, it would work. Like, you break your armor, drink this, and you're scott free. Unless these guards thought ahead. I mean, if they don't figure out that you're damaging it, then you might be able to secretly break it.

As long as you keep your plan a secret, Wembley, as long as we keep it between you and me, I think you're actually gonna get out of here. What do you think? Do you think luck's in your favor if that's the case value to actually add to the conversation

I'm just saying when boo I need you as much as you need me okay I wish you luck but I wish you luck when bill but I think we'll be seeing each other very very soon here just give me like 10 seconds. Now you're sticking it with me.

Okay, of course, yep. Yo Fnaf meal 3, I'm here to get some food. If you could please provide that, that would be very kind of you. Thank you. You're a kind soul, you know that? I appreciate this. that's a lot of food to your generous one today. That's six bread

Holy one foot, please

Yeah

Thanks, I thought you're in solitary Yeah, well What? There recently

What What? How do you think you get a TV in there? You know what I got in there? A piece of string and stick. What am I even gonna do to get here?

Have we even talked about that?

Stop.

That's really bad.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, we've got some orders today.

You guys gonna be doing the OP ravine mining as per usual?

I guess today's the day we find gold.

Finally.

All right guys, get to mining. I wanna see gold. I wanna see gold.

Rivers of gold, please.

Okay, Lopez, we will find gold today.

Today will be the day.

We can't even mine gold with the-

Mine away.

Here, Balbo, let's do some mining.

I love mining more than anything. Mining away. I love my really good doctor than a nice thing Let's just collect all this diary. I thought we needed gold what doors you're coming on Get some one 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17. 18.

19.

20. 21.

22. 23.

24.

25. 26. 27. 28. 29. instance am now. Then we need to all gear up and then crew each other out. That's just part of living in the empire.

There is no way we're still talking about this empire.

It's all anyone talks about. Actually, that's the unfortunate part.

Before you got here,

I'm just looking for some gold.

It's his first day bro, what do you mean you can't? I feel like freaking mad. Hey, it's his first time guys.

Is it actually your first time?

That's embarrassing.

You can't turn me to a rug.

Why not?

I'm too strong.

Why is there so many people here bro?

Yeah, they're just watching us. Hey lettuce, hey bro. Dude, yeah, it's just super loud and annoying. We need to mine somewhere else.

Okay.

Is there no gold here?

Is there consequences if we don't get gold?

I mean, I don't think they actually expect us to get gold. I can't even lie. Let's mine this way.

Yo, hello.

Hey bro.

Hey bro.

You doing some wonderful mining?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Zam and I are actually supposed to be also collecting wood, so if you have any wood,

can you give it to us?

Oh yeah.

I think we have enough.

Okay, thank you.

That's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, here, Zam, let's uh, can you start making us a tunnel to mine together?

Sure, let's do it.

Alright. I'm gonna go get some! I'm gonna go get some! Thank God! Yes!

Yes!

Stone pickaxe!

Now I need an iron one.

What Dura is your helmet on?

How'd you actually make a stone pickaxe?

28 out of 121.

Okay, let me know when it's on 1 Dura.

Oh wait, why? So we can go invades. Why?

Why? Why? Oh wait, why? Oh, so we can go in this. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

It's on three, it's on three.

Two, one, one, one, one.

Mine out. We need to craft some swords.

I'm gonna crit you over and over

till you can't even move.

That's annoying.

What's in this Minecraft SMP?

Dude, crafting table civilization.

I love this crafting table. I love this crafting table.

Who wants milk? I love this crafting table. The crafting table.

Yeah, what door is your helmet on?

Uh, 10. Yeah, what door is your helmet on?

Uh, 10.

Tell me what's on 1. Uh, 4, 3, 2, 1. Good work, good work. Alright, bet.

I love mining in the cave.

I just love mining in the cave.

Oh my god. I just love mining in the cave Or, gravel or new edition. I can't hear that. Does everyone have helmets on one?

Yeah.

Everyone take a sword.

When we splash invis, we'll break each other's armor, and then we'll mine out. And we'll be full invis, and then we'll just all scatter.

How do I get a sword?

Okay, it doesn't actually matter. Okay, Papa, you have the invis, right?

Yeah.

Okay, pot us all, pot us all.

Come here, come here.

Okay, let's fill this in with diorite. Who has a pickaxe?

I do, I do.

Oh wait, place diorite in the tunnel.

They're moving around, that's scary.

Okay, everyone- break armor! No, go go go go! Just spam bullets. Yo, my health is actually getting low. Yeah, mine too. Also my armor is already breaking.

But we need food.

We lowkey didn't think of this.

You said we need food?

Uh oh.

Independent thinkers trying to escape.

That's adorable. All right, well, go ahead and make your way out. Wow, that is some nerve. Okay. I, go ahead and come on out from wherever you are.

Unless you're really gonna make me mine over to you. Lopez, they're- they're like invisible. Or... something. Have you not been keeping a good eye on these guys? Yep. Hi, friend. Oh, I see Hulk. Ouch. Oh hello! Found one!

Who's this? Go ahead and drink that milk. Can you snitch on your friend? Go find everyone else. Hey! Who are you guys looking for? No bunnies, your pals!

Our bunnies are pals?

No bunnies, your pals.

It's just a little stupid. I can't hear them anymore.

You are actually such an idiot.

Oh my God.

We almost got caught.

The hell did I do? Do you mind?

It's like my exact area.

I had the world to go.

Do you have food?

No, I'm literally about to run out of sperm.

We need to surface.

We need to surface.

We need to go further away.

We're going to surface, we need to surface.

Yeah, we do, we do.

We need to go further away,

then we're gonna surface up into the prism.

No, not from here.

Okay, guys. We're gonna go to the prism. We're gonna go over here, actually. We're going. Shit. I'm going to go this way. Oh cobblestone! of death of death

of

death of death of death of

death of death Oh, no, we're not leaving again.

Why did we go on a goose chase?

We were mining for gold in an actual cave.

Yeah, we heard there's gold around here because we were told to find the gold.

Get the gold for the Minecraft gold golden apple. I'm long now. Hey I'm on like

a hard and a half at no food. Thanks for the thanks for telling me the good news. Okay that was good.

It's interesting I've tried so hard to get you guys to see my side that's why I that's part of the reason I have you here I'm trying to believe or not, there's a small part of me that feels bad for you and wants to make you better people. And I tried, I tried. I tried giving you jobs to actually do something good for once. But you just don't care, do you? You guys just don't want to be led.

Definitely not.

And unfortunately, I can't help people who just don't want to be helped. It's not possible. Alright. don't want to be helped it's not possible all right one by one mend your armor so this never happens again fans kill the skeletons first we're repairing your arm your hands bro

one boober just make it quick. What if I don't? Because if you kill me, doesn't your whole plan fall apart because you need me to be alive for you to get elected?

Don't tempt me. You're not as important to my plan as you think, alright? I have a plan B. So, yeah.

Do I really have to do this with my bare hands instead of using a sword?

Well, now that that's done, you guys are going to rot in solitary forever! That's my new protocol just for you guys. We'll even play it a little safe. You get some of my ever so precious XP. You're going to live the rest of your lives behind the same four walls, and when boot, you're going to stay there until you get executed

so

Not fun No, not really. Yeah. No great. Love the enthusiasm ace get them out of my sight cuz I don't want to see them again Also get a 24-7 guard force on them Just to make sure nothing ever happened. Yes, lettuce Yes, lettuce All right. Enjoy the rest of your lives I need food

or else I'm gonna starve to death that's great anyways yeah okay let's go

bro cannot believe you guys tried to escape. I'm literally down half a food bar so could I get some food?

Just wait your turn man.

Okay.

I also need some food. We'll literally starve to death.

I'm pretty sure lettuce really wanted me alive to be executed so.

Get in.

Okay.

Hi friends. Get in. Fence. Okay.

Hi, fence.

Oh boy, oh boy.

Up.

And wimboo.

Yeah, you look real stupid now.

Okay, I'm going.

Look, to answer your question before, I don't want to kill you. But, you know, if it's for, it's in the sake of justice, I think I can turn a blind eye. So, you starving? Here. blind eye. So starving here. Guard open the door.

I'm also starving for the record.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Cool. Why'd you go into his health to give it to him but not me? I don't know if all you guys can hear me but you guys will all rot in here for all of eternity.

And you two, you're here watching Wemboo 24-7.

Take very good care of them.

I guess we're just gonna run here for eternity.

Well until they execute you. But yeah. There is one more way we can. One more way for us to get out.

Really?

Yeah.

Well you know why are you.

I mean it doesn't really matter if there's a guard here or not.

What kind of method do you have that doesn't matter?

That's stupid.

You'll see.

They built these really strangely because I mean, we're solitary for them, but we're

not solitary from from each other.

Yeah. It's not so bad. This guy seems very annoyed. I am. But we're not solitary from from each other. Yeah

It's not so bad this guy seems very annoyed I am do they really don't like that we're talking

Yeah, can you just let us have something please?

Okay, well not very kind are you be long so do you just get like paid here to be here now?

That's nice. That's yeah. You gonna work your way up the ranks?

Are you taunting us?

Maybe one right.

Oh, oh my God.

Hello?

Oh, hey bro.

What just happened?

What the hell?

Hey buddy, what's up? Yo, that's some pretty good combos on me, I can't even lie. Oh, oh no no no, I'm getting a little too low. Yo, chill on me yo. Yo, chill on me yo. Oh my god. See ya later. Oh my god. Oh there's another one. Alright, I didn't realize there was two. I don't know if I can do this now. No, don't do it! Don't do it! No, no, no, don't do it!

Don't kill me!

Don't kill me! No!

Alright, first things first. First things first.

Hey, chill.

Alright, well, listen. I've already done, uh, I've already gone this far, but I still need to hear something from you. I need to hear it. You know what I'm talking about?

What?

Our deal. I need to make sure. I never agreed to your deal. All right, then I'm just gonna leave and then blame the death of these two innocent guards on Wembu who just tried to escape.

I'm pretty sure that's just gonna lead to a quick execution. I'm not gonna lie, probably same with you, Zam. So it's up to you, honestly. The deal is simple. I let you out of here and you owe me your loyalty. Does that sound pleasant to you?

Does that sound, does that sound right, Wemboo?

Yeah. Alright, let's run it.

I think it's only fair. Let's do this. Okay, what about me though?

Yo, get out. Get out.

No!

Lance! Oh, I don't even need to mine it.

Yo, Spoke, can we get an ender chest? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, you guys understand that you have to, you guys have to kill everyone now, right? Oh my God, this armor is cursed of binding.

I forgot about that.

Wait, I can't break these shoulders. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I have brought four copper armor come to the corner I'm using my pickaxe. We are Mining fatigue PvP dude. I love mining to see Wait, I need I need stuff in my inner chest, dog. There's literally no time. Oh my god.

Okay, fine.

Wait, can we just mine out?

Oh, they left the door open.

Okay, okay.

We solved mining fatigue.

Do we really have to kill them all?

Oh, hey, there's more people.

Every single one.

I'm in copper armor.

I forgot I'm in copper armor. I don't know, maybe they were prison guards.

Yeah, probably. Out of here.

Oh my God. I have three people on me.

I have three people on me.

Oh my God.

We'll just kill them, all right? Wow, I love miney fatigue PvP. Yeah, just handle majestic for me.

Got one.

Last one.

I'm just...

Nice. Amazing. They have protection too. They have protection too. Our copper armor is going to break,

so we can just get on new armor after.

That's very true. It's very, very true.

Through the door, through the door.

Ooh.

Wait, whoever got that key. You know what?

Who has my chestplate?

Oh, here, here, here.

Wait, I have it this way?

Whatever.

Okay.

Okay, come here. Come here. Come to storage, storage, storage. It's the same NHS. This does not look.

Oh wait, this is the ravine.

Wait.

This is the ravine.

This is the ravine.

I told you.

Oh, there's people.

There's people.

There's people.

Somebody want a puri potty?

All right, you guys got this. We already potted. You got a hell bro Okay, wait, should we get Lomity?

Dude oh no, these guys are easy to kill. It's fine. Let's just fight them.

Lomity.

Yeah, you're a friend of things.

Come on.

Let's go.

No.

What do you mean no?

I'm staying.

I know. I'm gonna follow the rules and abide

and become a fully good citizen.

Oh, there's a lot of people coming. All right, you know what?

See yourself, bro.

I don't know what to do. You gotta help us. Ah!

Yo, someone put up!

Someone put up!

Someone put up!

Someone put up!

Put up, put up, put up, put up, put up!

Maybe I should help out.

We are all fine.

My little army. hello look at that

does anyone have xp bottles i can repair my other base

you guys need to stop now and get back in your cells you're not gonna do this to me again you're not gonna leave

you know how long you both loved my freaking home? And now I was also gracefully picked up by lettuce here. And now you're ruining it again.

Okay, well you tried to lock us in a prison.

Yeah, maybe you should have listened.

I'm so happy that I exploded your ice cream.

So happy. No! I'm so happy that I exploded

No, wait

Matt

Where your allegiance to me if you want to live I swear my allegiance is how I don't care anymore you're trapped. All right, see ya. Where did you trap me? Why'd you switch up on him so fast?

Let me kill a little person.

You're the one that dragged me into a...

You're gonna blunt me out and I'll stop the rebellion.

Nope, you are...

I blunted.

All right, there's a couple more left.

Why are you killing me?

Oh, I don't know maybe because you try to put me in a prison cell

Why are my own guards fighting me?

Wait, target Lopez? Where's the netherite player? Alright hard target the netherite player. We need to drop, uh, we need to drop them first Alright

Wait I have no health I just need a pickaxe

Mace attack!

Please open the door Guys we have like five more people left.

We're gonna kill them all real quick.

Oh my god. You don't get down.

Oh my god.

Who is this invisible player?

What's his name?

Run Ethan, run.

Ropal, you might wanna start running.

You have to go.

I'm staying here.

Yo these aim!

I think you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah!

You're my brother.

Chase Lopez, Chase Lopez.

Deliver a team.

Get this one guy,

because I am the last guy.

You're the last guy? Yeah, I'm the last guy of the army.

Everyone move so I can mace Mason, please. Let's go guys. There we go

Yeah, we got it. Let's go. Let's go. Oh my god. Yeah, we're gonna kill you

All right

That's not the way guys, yeah, let's go. Mm-hmm. All right

Won't there be more guards on the outside? Bob, what's wrong with you?

You guys also understand that we have to kill everyone that was above us, right? Why? Because I cannot risk anyone seeing the death messages with my name attached to it. I don't believe the-

Oh, hey, that sounds familiar. All right, let's get out of here, bro.

Enough time. Wait. Yeah

Let's just leave why is the door broken? All right, which is mine out. Oh good thing you'd mine it. Yeah. Okay, just run

Just run. Okay guards

I see a bunch of names Really? Oh just come out. Wait, why is it like your West? Why West? Oh, there's a giant army of people Let's do this are we fighting that somebody's drinking? Yes. This is lawman. Yeah

What do I do about this genuine

If you want your job back kill them Yo these are stacked people! What do I do about this genuine Kadagra? Sam, Sam, Sam, I'm next to you. We gotta fight this.

Lupus, if you want your job back, kill them!

I will!

Oh my god, they hurt. Yeah, they do a lot of damage.

These are like fully stacked people.

These are not Lamin.

Sorry.

Yeah, I don't think we can take this.

Where'd you go? I don't have wind charges like that one. Wait, what? Just swim.

I thought you were better.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Oh, good. Rax me.

What are you?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Okay, you're a little little little little little little little little.

Yeah, get it. Go.

Get off.

Wait, he's got a lot of the army. Run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run Anyways. Okay. Like, okay, come on, come on, stop, stop, stop. I I was forced to run from the prison. With half protection to armor, dwindling wind charges, and only one of my maces, realistically I wasn't going to be doing much else in that fight. I just had to hope that everyone else managed to escape, and considering that I didn't see any death messages, I think they did. But if I was at my regular strength, I would have easily been able to handle those netherite players. I'm just missing my two most powerful techniques right now, my elytra mace and my orbital strikes. But if I want

to truly be free, I'm going to need to completely destroy the law, since it's clear that they'll stop at nothing to execute me. So, if I want enough power to do so, I'll need to return stop at nothing to execute me. So, if I want enough power to do so, I'll need to return to the Minecraft Farlands.