Fuji Mau Podcast Lagi

We're talking with Fuji today. Hello, thank you for coming here. Hello. It's been a while since we invited Fuji here. Really? No, I think it's just this morning. Yeah, I think it's been a few times. Really?

Yeah, but you're busy.

That doesn't mean my old manager doesn't give me. I'm a new manager.

Oh, really?

Maybe because I had a request, I didn't want to do a podcast first. Why? Maybe because I had requested, I didn't want to do podcasts before. I didn't want to do TV either.

You didn't want to do TV, you didn't want to do podcasts.

I didn't want to do it again. At that time? Maybe just now.

Oh, just now. Just now.

Why? Is there...

I don't want to be bothered again.

Is it often like that now?

Sometimes... I feel like that, what should I answer, is it funny or what? Sometimes you just take a snippet,

and then translate it into something else.

Actually, if it's a plus or minus, the plus is that it's crowded, if it's a minus, I think there are a lot of minuses. So I'm tired, I have to clarify. Meanwhile, I don't like clarification.

But that's what happened from the beginning, right? I mean, you talk a little bit, it's crowded. You talk a little bit, it's crowded, right?

Yes, but I'm tired, bro. So it's better not to talk at all.

I think because you are IG and others are just crowded. Because I saw your TikTok, there are 20 million.

I don't know, maybe because netizens are still sensitive too. But it doesn't seem as bad as before. Netizen's comments made you cry, at what level? Crying is for sure, right? Well, crying is normal, I'm at level 1. I want to be level 10.

What is level 10? Did you ask for professional help?

I've been there.

Oh yeah?

I've been to a psychiatrist, I've been to a psychologist. But I think it was... When was the last time? Last year? Last year. But last year, it wasn't because of mental issues, but because of my ADHD. I couldn't control my focus and all that,

and my emotions. But in 2023-2022, that was the hardest for me.

In 2022-2023, how old were you?

How old was I? 20?

I was only 20.

I think that's a problem.

What year was I born?

2002.

2002?

What was I born in 2003?

I'm so sorry, sis.

21.

I always forget my age.

You always forget your age?

I was only 23. But that was because it was because of my birthday. I remember. I asked him about his birthday.

19, I think. I was 19.

I was 19. So if someone asked me how old I was, I wanted to say 19.

Why?

Was that the happiest time?

Actually, for the beginning of 19,, at the beginning of 18 to 19, those were my happy times. And then at the age of 19, what happened was my brother's death anniversary. So everything was new to me. So I was stuck at that age.

That's how it felt. There are people who get the spotlight slowly, right? Like me, I make books slowly. So, a little bit of leap and spotlight, we can adapt a little bit.

Actually, I've been adapting quite a bit. Because before, when it happened, my followers were already 70 thousand.

That's a lot.

And that 70 thousand is 80% of the people who are also Hujat. So it's actually the same. But in the past, it wasn't as many as it is now, millions of people. But in the past, it was like 70,000 people who followed me. The Hujat people were only 45,000 people, 40,000 people, maybe. Yes, 40,000 people.

Yeah.

But now, I can meet people from everywhere. There's always at least 3 people from 10 people. Oh yeah? When you're walking in the real world? Yeah, I'm just thinking, am I stupid? Yeah, I'm stupid sometimes. But if there's someone who's like,

Oh, that's it.

That's the real thing. I heard it. Seriously? I was just pretending to be stupid.

That's weird. Why?

Maybe because I'm just normal. But now you can be stupid too, right? Actually, I've been really stupid since... I think the reality is worse. Before, like now, I, still a scooter, a little less famous. It was rough, but maybe I understand.

Because I used to post a lot of content. Like, I was so stupid. Because my parents, I blocked their Instagram. So I just statue.

My parents didnatue it. I don't care.

I don't see my parents. But when I started to post, my parents asked me. Then they followed me, then they saw me. My cousins also saw me. I mean, cousins saw me. So I don't want to be scolded by my parents.

So I take care of myself. And I don't want to see my see her grandma is so rude when she's older.

Okay.

She's already thinking about the track record. I can't let her. I have to take care of all of this.

If Gala herself, does she come to you with any content? What does it mean?

No.

No?

No.

Because Gala... Do I have to share this?

It's okay.

Because Gala... Every time she's in a content, she's never forced to do it.

Oh, that's her, right?

Her. So if she asks, what does this content mean? You're the one who left it. Why didn't you do the briefing?

No, I mean, like this. Like my daughter, when she plays YouTube, she watches YouTube, she likes to see her dad, right? In the thumbnail, in the podcast, she's like, there's a dad, who is this dad talking to? I mean, she doesn't know the concept,

this is a podcast, this is a conversation, this is watching people. Because my daughter was still 5 years old at that time. But it seems that Radit's daughter is really smart,

the girl. I think Radit is really smart. I can see that he's really smart, he likes to read books.

He really likes to read books.

He's like a Radit's twin. But maybe it's not because of my twin.

Why?

He's just a fool. The important thing is he can eat well, he can play, he can... Well, there's no need to ask why the whole world is working. I understand. Maybe because he reads a lot, she often asks you, right?

My daughter. Why this, why that.

Behind you. Maybe I'm just behind you. If there's a camera, then fine. That's it. No need to be asked what this is for.

Because my daughter, in my workroom at home, there are a lot of books behind me. Because I like to read. So she saw, why are there so many books behind you? Because reading is magical, I said.

Reading is magic.

Oh, I don't like reading books.

It's okay.

But because of that,

my daughter became a nagi. For reading and everything. After this, let's okay. But because of that, my son is always so eager to read and everything. After this, let's go to the store to buy books, okay? Just pretend to read in front of him.

Just pretend to read.

Because I like to think like that, what if this big gala becomes what? Well, if it doesn't become anything, it's okay. But it's a man, what if he gets married later? I like to think like that, I'm afraid of failure, but I don't want to be too hard on him. At first, I intended to give him military service. Don't expect me to pamper him. But I'm not confident. That's my dilemma too.

Yeah, I'm not confident. If he wants something, he has to give something. For example, a score or something. But sometimes, if it's a remedial score, I'm okay with something. For example, a value or something. But sometimes, if it's a remedial value, I'll still give it to him. Because I'm not sure.

How old is he now?

Five.

Five years old? Yes. Oh, yes, same as my son, the second one.

But he's smart. He's not smart, but he's more of an entertainer. Like his father. He's funny of an entertainer. Like, he's...

He's funny.

He's funny. He can't be fooled. So, he's not the one who reads books, he memorizes the theory.

Yeah, every kid is different.

Maybe because he's been doing it since he was a kid, I like a lot of teams, and I used to like to do collabs. So, I met him. So, maybe he learned from adults. So, if there's a camera on, he knows, Oh, I can perform.

He has that switch.

No, he doesn't perform, he just be himself. But he knows that people will watch him?

He knows.

Because he's a narcissist too, he likes to see... He watches videos of Ida's IG, he knows what IG is, YouTube, what YouTube, and And now he can, if he's on TV, he takes the remote, he types what he wants to watch. Then after that, if we set up the TV, he's like this. Not that one, the right one, this one.

Then he can read it, so he requests, which YouTuber do you want?

Oh yeah?

But the YouTuber is this YouTuber, YouTube Kids, right?

Yes, YouTube Kids.

The little kids, the cartoon ones. Kayla, the Russian girl, with her dad, running around. I don't know, actually I don't like watching kids movies. But I was really surprised, there was this...

Saur. Tung Tung Saur.

The anomaly. I watched it with Gala. Usually when she watches it, I'm a bit of a nerd So I play my phone, she's next to me Then I was like, this song is really weird I saw it, what is this?

Then I went to the toilet, ate the toilet, ate the toilet

Okay

Anomaly like that

Yes, the content

Then I was like in the toilet, there was a head, I was like what is this?

But was she entertained? It's like an anomaly. And then I was like, what's that? I was like, what's this? But was it entertaining?

It was entertaining. And I asked the host, what's this? What's an anomaly? What's an anomaly? It's like a limitless creation. A creature that's not in its place.

Do you understand?

It's so weird.

I've seen the shapes, but I don't understand. Yeah, it's so weird, all the trilili, tralala. I'm like, no, no, no, no, you can't watch it like this.

Accucino ballerina.

Yeah, no, no, no, I don't see it as a funny thing. Because I'm afraid that the fantasy, the imagination, is so wide, it's okay, but I don't think it's good for the head in the toilet. Yeah, we never know the effect for a child.

Yeah. Or what they think. But if it's like K-pop Demon Hunter, this is really happening in my child's school.

I think Demon Hunter is cool to watch, but I don't understand.

That's really happening.

I still don't understand, bro. I don't watch anime, I don't play games.

I watch the Roblox version. Oh yeah. What is it? You watch the Roblox version? No. Oh, no.

I can play Roblox too.

You can play Roblox?

Actually, I can't. I'm a kid. But I think it's not over yet.

Because I can't yet.

You can, but it's a bit... Worry? Not worry. I'm too free? Because I see Rachel doesn't allow her child to watch TV. Except for certain days, or certain hours.

I usually watch it on Sunday.

I let her do it. But if I turn off the TV, she doesn't protest. So she knows the limit too. I don't know.

But she's happy to play outside too.

Happy. If I take her out to the gym, not the gym, the rockstar gym. Rockstar gym. Rockstar gym, right. He's happy, socializing. So I feel like there's no problem.

Maybe his son can handle himself this time.

I think he's down from his parents. He's so extrovert.

Oh, if there's someone, he's not shy.

The first shy, but if you tease him, he just wants to talk.

I see

So he's like, hi!

So he doesn't feel like he's being... I don't want to talk to him If he doesn't talk to me, he'll be shy Like, look at this, this is a picture of me

Have you ever scolded him and then you regret it? Why did I scold him?

I don't think I'm going to do that. But if I make him cry, I'll regret it. Oh yeah? What do you make him cry? I make him cry because a lot of my friends go home.

Or play.

Or there's someone who's close to me.

Okay, that's a long pause.

Yeah, I'm so confused. Just explain it to me. Because if it's a friend, it's weird. It's still jealous. And then, the one who closest one to me is a kid. He plays with Gala. And they play for 3 hours.

Okay, so this guy is with Gala.

The girl. I didn't talk to him for 3 hours. So I called Gala, I called him. He wanted to cry. I called him, you know was being weird. I was being weird, and she wanted to cry. She was being weird, you know? No, this is mine.

This is mine, you can't do that. She cried. I was like, is it wrong? But I don't like it.

Okay, I understand. You're jealous because she's playing with this person.

Yes, I'm jealous because I'm being cheated on. I don't like to be teased. Okay, okay. If he's on the phone, he likes to be curious. Who is that? Who is that? If he's happy with who I'm on the phone with, for example, there's a friend of mine named Tania.

He took his phone. Sometimes I'm jealous too. Don't tease me. Can I join? Because if he's on the phone or with someone else, the interaction is just the two of us, I'm not invited.

Okay, so you...

So I just ignored him.

Ignored him again.

I ignored his tantrum again.

I was about to cry again.

I turned off his phone. Oh my God, you turned it off right away? You don't like to be teased because... Because he's so rude, so I don't know what to do.

Is it because he's rude or in general, you don't like it when your friends tease you?

No, I just want to be teased.

Because I'm not being teased.

That's all.

But you have fun playing with him? I mean, there are special games you want to play with him, right? I mean, there are special games that you want to do with him With Gala? Yeah, like my wife, right? She plays with Kumon, filling in Kumon Like that

It's hard if the combination is Kumon

I'm not good at Kumon I'm not good either Or make, what's it called?

Crafting, crafting I usually color and draw. Fortunately, I like drawing. But I don't like coloring. I really like coloring. I just like drawing, you know.

Using pencil, making a house, making people. But coloring is tiring, bro. If we color in different directions, it's...

Bad.

Bad. For example, we have to color from here to there. If we go back in the direction, it's bad. Jelek. Misalnya kita harus makannya di sini, sini, sini, gitu terus. Kalo kita balik arah, jelek dia.

Oh, iya. Tapi kalo satu arah terus, bosen.

Iya ga sih?

Kalo dua arah ga ketemu, damainnya di mana, Kak? Yang ada pantem terus.

Iya sih. Kakak tuh nulis apa sih? Aku jadi pengen nih nulis-nulis gitu. So, for example, I'm talking to you, and we're talking about a show, and you're talking, right? Because you're talking, I'm thinking about K-pop, Demon Hunter.

What?

Well, instead of...

Are you in your HD? No, right?

No.

Oh, okay. I thought it was like me, if there's something unfinished, like, stuck.

Yeah, like this one, right?

I'm sorry, what's wrong? Like a stick. Like what we just did. Yes. Why?

It's okay. You can change the topic.

Oh, really?

It's okay. Because I don't want to interrupt you while you're talking. I'm sorry. It's okay. I wrote here, K-pop Demon Hunter. When you're done talking, I read it. Eh, you watch K-pop Demon Hunter?

I don't watch Demon Hunter, but I like to watch it. Yeah, but not for now. I'm just explaining what happened earlier. You asked me what I wrote.

That's what I mean, Pudji.

Susani is breaking the focus.

But you realize that you have ADHD since when? It means it's an official diagnosis, right?

I thought... Am I still in the right order? I'm afraid I'll jump again.

It's okay if you're not in the right order.

Seriously?

I'll just follow you. Because my best friend has ADHD too. She's very creative and very smart. Since I was a kid, actually... My mom often scolds me and my dad. Because I'm like...

I call it a fool, maybe. So I like to forget to put things, I like to forget what I do, if I study, I'm not focused. But on the other hand, if I'm alone, I'm more organized.

Okay.

Then, I don't know about the mental health issues. For example, bipolar, BPD, psycho, etc. I didn't understand at all. And for a long time, the mental health issues were popular on social media. Since it was discussed on social media, if mental health is important.

And I just realized that it's really important. And when I saw it, I thought, am I bipolar? I thought it was like that. Usually, children at the age of 15-16.

But did you ever feel manic, depressed?

I felt it. It seems like it's just the teenage years. The puberty is just. It was just a teenager, who just got puberty, who is unstable, and then it's a period of rebellion. Then after that, when I started working, I still don't know, I have an ADHD, right?

But I was really hard to memorize the script. I focus on the topic of conversation. I usually like to edit myself from the beginning. But I still help the topic of conversation. I usually edit by myself from the beginning. But I still help the editor for the work. Then when I was editing, I was bored, I left it. Then I forgot, I continued editing a month later.

It could be worse. I used to love eating chocolate. I can eat chocolate like of chocolate a day. It's terrible. And it's not good for my ADHD. I didn't understand it before,

I didn't know sugar rush is not good for me. I thought sugar rush is good for you to make you more energetic.

To be active. My sweet friend, my ADHD friend, she always talks.

I ate a lot of chocolate before I came here.

Thank you.

Because people say that I look weak. No, that's just my energy. I'm not full yet. But actually the worst thing is sweet drinks.

Okay, the important thing is sugar. Then? Then how?

You feel it every time you eat. But sometimes sugar is not good because I don't sleep enough. Because I'm active, I have to spend energy and sugar on my body. I have to be tired because I can sleep at 4 or 5. I used to work a little tight. For example, from 9 to 10 AM.

So I only slept for 3 hours, 2 hours. And it was repeated many times. My lifestyle was not healthy. I became stressed and depressed. The more I didn't do well, the more I didn't focus. The more I made mistakes.

Because I didn't do sports before. I was over-exercising. I didn't sleep enough. And then I worked too much. It was getting worse. The sleep was more, the lack of sleep was less. Then the work was overworked. It was getting more and more messy. Even though if you join, you can buy a house. Oh, I saw it again. You're reporting to the police, if I'm not mistaken? That's new, that's what's happening now.

I mean, if you join now, you can buy a house. Not bad, right? Continue, it will be broken again.

Yes, there are many problems from netizens, money is being corrupted.

Yes, there used to be a lot of pressure. There was also a problem with Asmara. I mean, it's just a normal thing if you have a partner. So it was actually very complex. And my ex-manager was really mean to me. So I was messed with by everyone. So it was complex.

The stress itself was eventually brought to the psychologist. With my friend, Kavio.

Like a psychologist first, not a psychiatrist?

Psychologist first. Sometimes I was still a kid, what to do, like using medicine. And I just found out that a psychiatrist? I was a psychologist. I was still a kid, what I did was using medicine. And I just found out that a psychiatrist uses medicine, and a psychologist doesn't. There are psychiatrists who don't use medicine? Oh yeah, I just found out.

I just found out. I used to think that a psychiatrist and a psychiatrist are the same.

Which one? The one with an empty schedule?

I used to dream of being a psychologist, but I don't know how. It's okay. Just a little bit. At first I didn't want to, because I was still a kid. I felt like I didn't need that. But my brother, my brother, who is a senior, felt sorry for me. So he said, can you just follow me? I've been with you all this time.

I've paid for the psychologist. You just come to me. I'll just come. Please appreciate me. I came to appreciate him. I really don't want to, because I've been persuaded many times.

I don't want to. I came, talked to Paul. I don't feel any change actually. At that time, the first friends. Then I don't want to give up. I came back a month or a month later, I don't remember,

it was in 2022, I came back, better, but like only 2% out of 100%.

Okay, so you don't work from the second friend? What is it like, the truth is like this?

Yes, I feel like I'm always telling stories. Like I don't know what the psychology system is like. Everyone has different ways of handling it. But he just explained in the ending, After that, I was more free. Because the first and second meeting, maybe because I was closed, so it wasn't worth it.

Oh, you held on.

At that time, I honestly didn't feel like I was holding on.

But?

But my psychologist said I didn't know how to express my sadness, happiness, loneliness. I didn't know how to express it.

I see.

I was just like, blank.

You didn't understand what you were feeling?

No.

And you didn't know how to tell people what you were feeling? Yes. Wow.

At that time, I didn't understand. I only knew that if people were bad, I would cry. But I didn't know how to cry and be happy again. I didn't know how. I didn't know if I was happy or not. At the end of the session, I asked,

I said, I'm tired, I cried. But that wasn't the answer I was hoping for. The answer I was hoping for was like, I feel more relieved because I've told this story. I was hoping for that. I didn't answer, I'm tired because I just cried.

I'm tired, my eyes hurt.

I understand. It should be like, I can start processing now. I'm starting to understand more now.

But you're... But I always say this. I understand what the doctor means. I understand. You understand, but you don't practice it. This is your homework. If you're sad, you express it.

If you're happy, you express it. You live for yourself, not for others. Not for the netizens, not for your parents. You can be kind, but if you're a people pleaser, don't.

It's funny, back then.

Until now, but now it's more stupid. Back then, I was self-absorbed, but I didn't realize it. Gradually, it's affecting my mental, my mind, my thoughts. And it's affecting my body. My body is getting tired. The mental is affecting the body.

When we're tired, sad, our body is tired, sick. What's the effect? You get sick easily? It's like running sprint. When you're manic, actually. When you're really tired, depressed, my body was like running 10 km. It hurt, my body hurt.

Okay, okay. Then after how many meetings, you felt like, this is my problem.

The third one, then I told him. I told him, then the psychologist said, try to give a test, what is it?

I forgot, honestly.

Like a test on a cell phone or on a paper, I forgot. I filled it in, and then I was asked to talk. After that, I was asked to talk again. Then I said, I can't focus. Then I kept blabbering, he said, you seem't focus. Then I kept blabbering, they said, you have ADHD,

and then they explained it. And then I started searching. And this friend of mine, I think it helped me a lot, because I understood myself more. Not just understand, but I practiced. I started searching myself,

I didn't tone deaf anymore, I was like, I was ignoring myself again. Then I started to accept myself. So I'm searching, what's good, what's not. We're not allowed to have sugar, I cut sugar. I cut it, but it's like 10, so I eat 2.

Yeah, like today, right? It must be more than 2.

But it's good, right? So I talk if I don't want to.

Good, good. It means it's conditional.

If it's necessary. But sometimes it's not good. Sometimes I'm too closed or I overshare. But what I know, every time I overshare, I regret it.

Why? There's something that doesn't need to be...

I don't want people to know. I can't. I see. I don't know, it's not comfortable. I'll think of something weird later. I think I was talking too far.

Is there any leak? Over sharing, leak, even...

Not this far.

Oh.

Alhamdulillah, no.

Okay. What is the most inappropriate for an ADHD person...

I mean, like we misunderstand about ADHD people. ADHD people. They're normal. They're not a mental disorder or something. ADHD ini? Hmm... ADHD ini. Mereka normal kok. Mereka tuh bukan gangguan mental yang kayak gimana-gimana. Cuman, ya mereka cuman butuh terapi aja sih.

Itu menjadi problem gak? Kayak kamu mencari temen baru, atau kamu mencari pasangan, kayak ngedate, atau segala macem dengan kondisi kamu.

Ini tuh problem hampir semuanya, deh.

Semua apa nih? like dating or anything with your condition. I think that's a problem for almost everyone. Everyone?

Everyone, because I get bored easily.

To your partner?

Fortunately, I'm a bit of a jerk. I don't get bored when I'm with my partner.

When you're with your partner?

Yes, but when I reply to the chat, I get lazy. I get bored when I see the same topic over and over again. I get bored, I need something new. So, the guy has to be able to give you something new... ...to feel fresh, or what? No, it's like I need a new topic, or a new stimulus. I understand.

Or it's like I need some time to distance myself. I don't meet him for a day or two, I don't talk to him.

I understand. You must be a perfect guy... ...who is interesting in thinking, interesting in talking. You like that kind of guy, right?

I had a chance to meet a guy like that. Then I thought, this is because of his personality. So I'm not bored.

Okay. What if the guy is like, have you eaten yet? I can't.

I even don't, if someone asks, have you eaten yet? I say, without you reminding me, I will eat too. You don't see me on YouTube, there are a lot of mukbangs. I can be sarcastic. Because I will feel, if you ask me the same thing 5 times or 3 times in a day. How long will we going to be close? I'm like, tired

From the beginning, it's like that

Yeah, I'd better tell you, I'd better not ask It's okay

Can you do this?

We can talk about other things, no need to be serious It's okay if it's not important

Yeah, trivial, the important thing is there are other things besides food

Yeah, I like trivial things I mean, it's impossible for us not to eat

Yeah Yeah, I like it when it's a bit awkward. I mean, it's impossible for us not to eat. Yeah.

Unless you've eaten yet, I'll send you food. Yeah, that's fine, I'll accept it. You've eaten, don't forget to eat. I won't forget.

At your level now, have you started to be able to do this? So if there's a guy approaching you, just by looking, it seems like he's bored. I think people don't usually want to do that. Have you started to do that? Or do you need to check first? Do you need to talk first?

I think I can do it.

You can do it?

I can do it. But I rarely get close to men.

So it's like...

I rarely do it.

Oh really?

Rarely. Because I don't have many friends.

That's true.

The older you get, the older you get. The chance to meet new people is also getting less. Yes, my friends are few. Then I work in the afternoon, sometimes until night. Until 8, 9 o'clock. I'm bored. It depends on whether I can sleep, I sleep.

If not, I go out. Sometimes to a friend's house. That's why I like to stay up. That's usually when everything is asleep. Usually, I go to bed after the gala. And I go home in the morning, just lie down and sleep. Because I'm just bored. I just want to refresh.

Meanwhile, people say, I don't allow parties. But I'm tired. I need refreshment. If I can be at home, I'll be at home. I often play at home. I mean, I often play with my friends at home. Or I go to my at home, I'll do it at home. I often play at home.

I mean, I often play with my friends at home. Or I go to Mbaek, Kavio, I go with my manager, Kayu. I often do it, but I don't know why the tagline that the party boy, the party girl, the netizen always use it.

If it's true?

Last year, it was very frequent. Actually, I just looked for my old friends. Coincidentally, they were there. Because they were in the same situation. Working until late at night, then what else do you want to do? In the morning, I usually sleep, or I'm tired. In the afternoon, I have to work until late at night.

Yes, I mean, what is it, listening to music, you know, usually.

That's why sometimes when I'm on vacation, I take advantage of it. Sometimes it's not for playing, in the morning and afternoon, I'd rather go to the gym, to work out.

Are you the type of person who is a homebody, or you go out more often? Do you like to be outside the house?

I actually prefer to be at home. It doesn't matter who's at home, as long as I have a friend. You prefer to be at home with anyone, as long as there's someone, a friend. Yes. You can't do it without a friend? I can't do it without a friend, I just want someone to accompany me. If you're alone, it's not good. No, now I have a manager, he's actually my friend since 2000.

Oh, he's a friend. A friend, a friend of Almarhum Kavanes. I've known him since 2019 or 2020. I was a model for Vanessa Ware. Vanessa Ware? Yes, for heels. You were friends. Because she was the model. I was the one who recorded her.

Oh, okay. I said, it's nice to be pretty. We were friends for a long time. When Vanes was pregnant. When she was pregnant, she left. Actually, many people left. But this Vanes was pregnant, she left. Actually, many of them left too.

But this one, thank God, she stayed. She asked me about me, and everything. She just became my manager.

Really recently?

Really recently. Because my old manager, she just had a baby, right? She just wanted to have a baby for a year. So she wanted to focus on taking care of the baby. Because her husband didn't allow her to use the nipple. I use a comb. So, sometimes when I work, I feel like I'm in my own environment. Yeah, I can imagine.

Because you have more things to do.

Yeah, I can't force it. I'm a mother now.

How did you adapt from being a friend to being a co-worker?

Actually, I was a bit nervous.

We were in a fight when we were in the third... How long was it?

Two months.

Two months, we were in a fight. We fight every day. Because of work? Work. There's never been two. Imagine if we had a big fight. We just started playing at night. Because my friends and Kayu's friends are the same. At night we just hang out, there's nothing.

Tomorrow morning, we're going to work. From 9 to 8 or 9 o'clock at night. That's when we're going to work. We fight again.

That's good, right?

Good, but when we go to the cafe, or we go out to eat, nothing happens, just talk. How can it be? Because we already feel like holding it. This is the friend mode, this is the working mode. Don't mix it up. But it's like that at work.

If you want to be busy, just be busy. But it's a that. If you want to fight, just fight. But I'm a little nervous, because I'm afraid of work. Both of them put their hearts in it. When I'm playing, I go out.

Because of your friends.

Yes, because of my friends. I'm a little nervous. Because I think I love him. I don't want to fight in the future. I'm still young. So how long have you been together? 6 years. Oh, 6 years? That's a long time.

I thought you were friends.

Only 4 months.

4 months.

You've been friends for longer.

Longer. But he's been with me since I was young. I mean, he's been with me since I was in school, college, after college, unemployed, became a scooter, became a school girl, I was in college, I was out of college, I was busy.

I became a scooter, I became a celeb, I became a TikToker. So I was always accompanied.

But I feel like you took your old friend because of your trust, right?

Yes, I have.

Because the old one was not bad.

I once thought, oh, I'm just retired, I'm tired. I'm tired of being broken, trust. I'm just content, I'm tired. I'm tired of being distrustful. I'll just do content, no need to work. How is it usually? Like there's money coming to you, but you don't give it to them?

Or how is it?

Yes, it's like that. So it's like giving a transfer effect. For example, the one that has been transferred is brand A. Then someone says, for example, I want to upload the brand B, different brands. Where do I say the transfer of the brand B? Well, I was given a proof of transfer of the brand A. Or what can also be done, actually there are many ways.

There are many ways. For example, the brand B can also be. But the proof of transfer is the old one. So for example, one brand can repeat several times. I was given a proof of. It's true, the transfer was just...

Oh, what was the reason?

God always gives me a way. Yesterday, I... Is this the old one or the new one? The old one was really complex. He's a bad guy. He has a lot of accounts.

And they work with one of the managers, the old one. So they... I used to have a partner. So he has a manager too. And the manager is the same as the co-worker. So if I ask him what his job is, he'll say, this is confirmed, and that's not true.

Oh, he's backed up.

He's backed up.

We're backing each other up.

Wow.

We're backing each other up. So back then, I was still 19 years old. I just followed him. And I was banned from playing. Imagine, I didn't have a house, I didn't have a car. I'm the one who transferred. Yeah, you're still young. I don't have a car yet. I'm still at the house that was rented.

It was a used car. There's no closet, imagine. The room is only a square, there's only a bed. And you know, after we've done the laundry, there's plastic. So, we put it on the floor.

Yeah, but that's the past. So I put it on the floor. But that was in the past. You've learned a lot.

It's okay now, thank God. Thanks to the patience and the netizens who made me go up. I can be here. Podcast with Raditya Dika.

Why is that?

If this is among all your busyness, what is your me time? Is it only in Jakarta?

In general, what do you usually do?

In general, if I have a four-day vacation, I run away to abroad. I run away to abroad. If it's just a day or two, I usually brush my teeth. Or I brush my teeth.

To make yourself look good.

Brush my teeth, brush my teeth. I was like, I'm going to watch it. I was like, I'm going to watch it. I was like, I'm going to watch it. I was like, I'm going to watch it. I was like, I'm going to watch it.

I was like, I'm going to watch it. I was like, I'm going to watch it. I watched other different genres, but still the same story. And because of Hulu's content, now it can be watched on Disney+, so I searched for it there. No need to switch applications, just click the Hulu tab, all the series and movies will appear. My choice fell to The Bear.

I was immersed in a super hectic kitchen world, not only the satisfying cooking, but the internal conflict, character, work pressure, ambition, it relates to people in the work world. If we look closely, this series is realistic and feels very close. Last week, I went on a rollercoaster full of aliens.

Now, I suddenly move to a chaotic and emotional kitchen drama. I can access everything on Disney+. So, if you're looking for an exciting, intense, and realistic... ...me time, go ahead and watch The Bear. Also, watch other series on Tap Hulu Disney+. Okay, now let's continue our conversation.

Four days, usually four days is enough.

Is four days enough?

I don't know. I'm a home sick person. I don't know. Where do you usually go?

Bangkok.

Bangkok?

Yes. Bangkok is fun.

Japan. Bali. Bali. Or go, Bali. Bali. What do you like the most in Bangkok? I'm going there in two weeks. Bangkok is the most exciting.

You must be shopping for platinum.

Yes, because it's hard to find a sizing that... ...the body is like this, in India, I think it's hard.

There's a lot of platinum?

There's a lot of platinum.

Oh, really?

But maybe the beauty standards there are like China, small and slim. Even the size of S, sometimes I can't fit.

Oh yeah?

Yes, it's like narrow, especially in China. My S size doesn't fit me. But in Indonesia, sometimes my S is too big. I'm an XS. XS, I have to be XS, I have to go with XS. Because here, the sizing is like following the standard of the football. Maybe, maybe.

Like in Zara, M is not enough for me.

M is very comfortable, right?

If it's outside, it's comfortable.

Are you like my wife? She can go to Platinum every day. So, on the first day, she's on one floor?

Honestly, yes.

Oh yeah? But usually in one day, I'm like... I'm like, I'm going to beat up all the floors.

Oh, so you're the type that's going to beat up all the floors in one day?

But tomorrow she'll come back.

Yeah, same.

Same.

But it's like, not finishing it in one day. For example, in Platinum, it's like, only 3-4 hours. No, my wife is extreme. One day, one floor. Then she went back to the hotel, and the next day, the next floor. For me, it's 3-4 hours. Because I get tired easily. If I get tired, I can't do it.

Oh, so there's a mood. Yes, I get tired easily. So I like to tap it. You can't try it on the street. So it's funny. But you have to take a picture first, or whatever.

Look, the point is here. Take a name card. Don't buy it right away. There are still a lot of floors in Fuji. So remember here, if for example... Today I shop a lot.

Tomorrow I don't have to buy it. Because I don't really want to. Because I think. Oh, I see. If I'm thinking, I'll come back to Platinum tomorrow. To get more stuff.

Okay. My wife is like that.

Because I often buy a lot of stuff. And when I get to Jakarta, I never use it.

Do you have a budget?

No.

Oh, you're just spending it?

Because Platinum is cheap. Why would you want to be budgeted? Okay. What do you want to be budgeted? Like in Platinum, you can still get 50,000. Tanktop, try it at the mall. Tanktop, 300,000. Why can it be cheap like that?

And there are a lot of good stuff.

Because maybe they... the important thing is the quantity. The important thing is to do it fast. Fast fashion, right?

Okay, we have a question from our YouTube viewers. They want to ask Fuji. Where do you open it?

It's on Discord. Oh, Discord is not for games? Yes, but it can be used for community. But without having to play games, can it be used? Yes, it can. It's like a VR group, but there are many forums. Sometimes you can use voice too.

So people who follow my YouTube are gathered in the Discord.

The YouTube members are in the Discord.

I've downloaded and made a Discord.

Huh? That's good.

For Roblox. Oh, you're talking to Roblox players, right? Yes. Yes, that's right.

But it's confusing. Why? Because they all talk.

But it's for chatting.

No, it's for talking. I'm confused. I can't talk that much.

But no one in Roblox knows you? My friends. Oh, your friends.

But if we talk on the phone, I can still focus. Oh, to see who's talking. Yes, if I'm talking with you, I'm like...

You're confused? Yeah.

So you still use Roblox in Discord? No, I deleted Roblox. Can I transfer Robux?

You have a lot of Robux?

I bought 1 million Robux yesterday. I don't know how much it is.

I only use 920.000. Can I come here? Yes, how? I think she's being trolled again. Okay, from Mba Pento. What is this Mba Pento? How to overcome stress like Fuji? If you're stressed, what do you do now?

You ran away to Bangkok. Bali. Bali. That means you're on vacation?

Vacation.

If you're on vacation, do you go to Ajaka?

Usually if I'm on the runaway, no.

Do you like this post-vacation syndrome? So when you go back to Jakarta, you feel like, oh, I'm working again.

Always. Oh yeah. From the airport, like, oh, I just got out of this plane.

Oh, I was surprised too.

What else? You played Roblox? Sleep.

Sleep.

Parkside sleep. It's hard.

Pedal?

It's crowded.

Oh yes, gym. Gym. I can't pedal, it hurts.

What hurts?

This.

The smell.

Maybe it's wrong.

Maybe the form.

But after using coaching, it still hurts. Like here, the circle. Maybe the form, yes. But even though I'm using coaching, it still hurts. Okay. Like, it's only here, the circle. So, if I'm ready, it becomes a cramp.

Have you tried using your left hand?

I use my feet.

Oh, yes. Thank you.

I use my butt.

You use your butt to exercise?

Sometimes I use it, sometimes I don't. I just finished exercising.

It's not visible. It's edited. It's really thick. Okay, from Serena. How does it feel to have militant fans? Oh, so your fans are militant?

Not bad.

Not bad.

How do you feel?

Back then, to be honest, I was really pressured.

Okay.

Because they are so massive and maybe they love me, so they like to make it crowded.

Make it crowded?

Yes, sometimes my photos or videos are compared to other artists, other platforms, or maybe they have good intentions, they want to make me proud because they love me so much, they want me to be always crowded. Or sometimes they comment on I comment on other platforms. But fortunately, after four years, I and my fans,

my fanbase is not like that anymore. But they are still militant. I said militant, sorry, Besti. But they are still very loyal, very loyal. And the ones who stay are the ones one who still likes to be with me. So there are a lot of people who have left.

A lot. Because I often say no. Because maybe when I first met him, I was afraid. I was already judged. If I have to be enemies with my fans, I was really pressured. I was really tired. I was afraid of everything.

Now, I'm telling him, I'm not saying that you shouldn't do this. If someone is insulting me, I don't need to defend myself. It's okay. You better, to cover the hate comments, you better comment something nice, funny, or funny. So, I don't need to read the comments.

And other netizens don't need to read it. You don't need to follow the insults. It's better than having to deal with one hater. People might say, Fence Fuji is so violent. I think sometimes we are also being single.

Maybe back then they were so massive. I can't control it either. Even though I'm so strict. But in the long run, the one who stays is the one who's right. Yeah, and if I look at my career from when I was 21 until now,

the best way to accept hate comments is to just shut up.

Shut up? I shut up, but my fans...

Yeah, I understand. I mean, from your fans' point of view too.

Yeah, maybe because they... Love you, because because they love me Because they love me so much So I also want to refuse them

I'm afraid

I understand So I DM my fanbase one by one

Oh, don't do that

Yes So I don't want to refuse them For example, during live I don't do that I DM one by. Because they love me. Why don't I love them?

They've always been there since I was young. It's hard.

Yeah, I can imagine.

So it's up to them if I want to praise them. Well, I still love them. And it's not like before, it's just netizens. The haters, talking about the old days. They're just like that. It's just a season, the haters are talking about the old days. As if they're going to be reborn, my fanbase.

It's different now, right?

There are still some, maybe the shippers. The shippers are usually new fans. Usually my old fanbase doesn't support me anymore. Because I said I'm tired of being supported.

But honestly, I just heard about the shipper phenomenon. I mean, it turns out that artists and other artists like to have someone to support them.

Yes, maybe. Because in Indonesia, it's the most popular.

Do they hope you'll be a shipper? Is the shipper already done?

I hope so.

If the name is shipper, is it done or not?

Not yet.

Oh, it's still close? It's still close, or it could be someone in the workplace, for example, they see it, it's suitable for the character, it's suitable for the job, it's suitable for the visual, just match it, like the netizens.

I like them. So if you're shipped by a guy, suddenly you fall in love with another guy,

can the other guy attack you?

Yes.

Oh, yes?

Yes.

Oh wow.

I've been close to someone, not from entertainment, but in the middle of the night.

Just because he's not from entertainment?

Because at that time I was shipping.

Wow.

Did you reach out to this guy? To this guy's account? To this guy's DM?

There are a thousand ways, wherever.

Wow, you have to be very careful. Whatever you do, your moves are really tiring.

Actually, I'm worried if it's recorded silently. And often recorded silently? Always.

You're at the mall, I mean.

Because there are people who record quietly, put captions, text, and then look down. Look at Jutek's face. Or to look down on the opinion, to make a fuss. I understand, people say, it's a public figure's risk. Public figures are also human, there is fatigue. Yes, yes, yes.

But sometimes I'm really tired. Is, yeah, yeah. Like, there's someone who... But sometimes I'm like that all the time.

I'm tired. Yeah, it's the face. That's the default, right? No, not because of the face.

Sometimes... Energy?

No, just feel like being watched.

Indeed, Mr. Radit likes it if we are eating. Or... I'm more respectful if people ask me to take a picture. We were eating, and we knew someone was taking photos of us. But he didn't do anything, just took photos of us for a long time. What do you think? I almost wanted to fight in the New Year. Because I was recorded for an hour. You were recorded for an hour?

I was in Bali for an hour.

With the same person?

No, it's different. The story is different. At Atlas, that time. It was New Year with my brother. This is the beach club at Atlas. I know. There's a top and a bottom.

Yes.

What is it? It's like stacking, right?

Yes, maybe. I don't know actually.

This is not the club, this is the beach club. It's like stacking, so the pool, then the bottom, the other people's table, then the pool again, then the other else's table, and then another one. I only know the one where Hotman was blowing up.

Yeah, that one.

I was swimming, and I felt like I was being recorded. I was like this. And then I was like this.

You didn't want to.

He was like this. But his hands were still shaking. With his phone.

Oh, he was... Tonde. But his hands were still shaking.

Tondev. But still a bit angry. Tondev. The second one I said, Mom. It's someone else. Don't, don't. I was patient, It was about 30 minutes, I was like this. Then I finally went away.

But why did I go away? I like my song, where is it?

Yes, but why did I lose?

No, I was already determined. I was determined very carefully. And the DJ was upstairs, and the fire was there. Don't mind me, this is not the back, because he was in front of me. Do you see the direction of the camera?

And then?

He still didn't care, it was still 45 minutes. So I felt disturbed with my brother. It was very uncomfortable. Like this, I was also confused why the battery was running out. Because it was like this, not like this. It was like this.

I don't know if it was live or not. I was so angry. I went out of the swimming pool. I went downstairs. I said, I don't want to be recorded. I said, I don't want to be recorded.

I said, I don't want to be recorded. I said, I don't want to be recorded. I said, delete it now. At first, I talked to Satan. Then I said, let it be, this is my phone. What do you want me to record? There is no rule to record people.

Then?

Satan told me, I got angry. I finally went down. My brother, Fadli, didn't see if I was angry. I went down. I asked, what's the photo? I was in a bad mood for an hour. I understand. I was in a bad mood. After I got off the bus, I looked for my sister.

She was already downstairs. I jumped from the pool to the ground. I asked, why is my sister recording? She said, she didn't record anything. I took her phone. I asked, what's this?

She said, she has it. She also recorded in Bali. It was recorded from far away, from inside the car. Can you not?

Wait, that's not done yet.

The one above, the end of it was separated by Satom 3. Oh, it hasn't become a ribut yet? Because my brother was going to be mad.

But usually if...

Because the person's annoying. So, on the table, there's someone who... Not a guy, but a woman, like a man. I don't mean a man, but a woman. But it's like this, it's our cell phone. Why? Why? Why do you record it? What do you want to report? Everyone needs privacy. Even if it's abroad, you can't record it.

People in the Middle East must be censored.

I understand. Maybe there's no rule, but in an ethical way... You want to have fun, I want to have fun too. Let's just have fun here.

And it's not like I immediately said, I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm sorry, ma'am.

Yeah, you're still good.

Many times, bro. It's like I'm tired of it myself. Missing privacy. I know the risk of public figure. But if I have to admit, I think we should understand each other. You can go to public places without feeling disturbed?

Praise God.

Can you? Praise God, I can. Or maybe I'm getting used to it.

Okay.

I understand, maybe it's a public figure risk to it. I understand that this is a public figure's risk.

Yes, I understand.

And the profit I get from the entertainment world is also big. So I can't protest too much. But there must be tiredness. If the results are not good, the upload, re-upload, the caption is weird. There's a feeling of anger, of disappointment.

Like, I don't want to be like this, please don't.

But that's the weirdest interaction with fans you've ever had. Or is there anything else? Like yesterday, Afgan, the story was proposed to a girl.

I was kissed on the cheek when I was in Madinah. After praying.

By the women?

I was kissed on the cheek by the women. Luckily my nipple didn't fall off.

I didn't have a nipple yet.

So when I was praying, the women were kissing me in front of me. I'm sorry. I didn't know if it was a kiss or not. They were in front of me, I was in the middle of the field.

And then, Fuji, Fuji, Fuji.

After the prayer, I took a photo and hung it on the wall. Because I was really weak. And then, I put it on my cheek and kissed it. I didn't like being kissed.

Yeah, especially without this. Yeah, that's right.

So, I can only cry.

You cry?

I don't like it. I think it's too much.

Yeah, that's right.

I think I should be pinched.

Okay, let's go to the next question. From Hibiscus Hibini. Can I just ask you something? I don't want to ask you, but if you don't mind, just say it. Fuji, you're so beautiful. Please don't be insecure. And then the emoticon is touched and crying.

Thank you.

You're encouraged.

Yes, yesterday I lost myself because of that.

Okay.

So I'm insecure.

Is it because you got someone? Are you afraid you of others? No.

Are you afraid of making mistakes? I'm sorry to interrupt. The insecurity is that I can't trust people anymore. I was cheated on again. And it turns out it's not that simple. It's not just about money.

It's about people around me. And then, when I was close to them, there were also my friends who disappointed me.

The one who broke your heart was because you talked to him every day. You worked with him. Your close friends also talked to him.

Actually, it was just a complex at that time. So, I was really broken. I felt like I'm a broken person. I feel like... I understand. Because I'm the type of person who takes care of people close to me. Yeah, and I'm the type of person who doesn't want to see other people in trouble. I don't like to see other people in trouble.

So if I can help, I can help. If I'm not tired, I'll help until I'm tired. Sometimes, maybe our expectations are broken by ourselves. If we are disappointed.

I understand. Because I have helped you without any effort. Why can you do that to me?

Yes.

One of them.

I was at the minimum. I was really low. I didn't ask for appreciation. I don't ask for appreciation. I don't ask for appreciation. For example, from everyone. From my colleagues or friends.

I just ask, can I not be treated badly? I think if I'm not appreciated, I don't have a problem. But can I not be treated badly? So I've been through issues, and I've been covering myself from the outside. I didn't go out, actually. I went out only for work. I was alone from the outside. I didn't go out, I stayed at home. I went out only for work.

I was alone in my room.

Working is also keeping distance from everyone.

Yes, it really ruined my trust. Then my friend was disappointed. Then my job was messed up. So I was stressed. So I chose to be alone and finally my own comfort.

Yes, and now you're just starting to go out again. You said you just started to do podcasts again.

I just want to. TV? You want to do it again? I want to.

You don't want to do TV yet?

Not yet. I'm just lazy. It's just starting to be okay. It's not as okay as before. Not like Fuji before. It's not mentally okay yet.

So I don't want to look for problems first.

I understand.

I don't look for problems, but I'm afraid that with something like that, we'll get into trouble, comment again, get stressed again, tired.

But you know what? Yesterday, before I went to bed, I was talking to my wife, Anissa. Because I said, I also find it hard to trust people. My friends are very few. I was talking with my wife, Anissa. I told her that I also can't trust people. I have few friends. Because I can't let people in. That's me.

Then I told Anissa, I think from all the people in the world, I only trust her. She's the only one that I can trust 100%. Well, maybe, hopefully, you can find someone like me, Anissa. Do you understand?

Not yet. But I hope so can find someone like me, Anissa. Do you understand? Not yet. But I hope so.

Especially a couple. Anissa is my partner, right? To have one trust to people, and she is our partner. That's the feeling, I don't need to trust anyone anymore. You're holding me. That's what I'm grateful for.

I hope you find someone like that. I hope you can find someone like that.

I hope so. I pray for 2026. I hope I can find someone to trust.

You can, slowly. You're starting to get out of the closet.

I'm starting to get better. Okay, lastly, what can you share about your project?

Is there anything you want to work on or can you share?

Project? What project? I don't have one yet. I just want to travel around the world.

You want to travel around the world?

Yes, I want to travel around the world. Just one trip? No, I never plan to go abroad. I'll stay in the US for a month, then I'll buy the tickets. Okay, I hope going to be pregnant for a month. I'm going to be pregnant for two weeks, and I'm going to buy the ticket.

Okay, I hope we can see... You're going to update us, right? Update. I hope we can see you around the world through your stories. Thank you for coming here, Fuji.

Thank you for inviting me. I hope this conversation is not too heavy and not too short. I hope this conversation is not too heavy and not too short. Because I like to go around.