Getting into a New Routine after Gaining Weight.. *the internet is lying to you*

invited to our party, but if you say good morning, we'll let you hang. Sometimes we're really, really motivated to be toned, tan, fit, and ready, and sometimes, like the season of life that I'm in right now, we wanna lay on the couch

and eat candy whenever we have a free second to breathe.

And what's the point of you're just seeing like what happens after 30 days of Pilates every day?

30 days of Pilates challenge. What do you think?

Well, not that I can hear you, so.

Every time I open Instagram, there's another girl sitting on her knees on one of those reformers saying, my happy place.

Good morning, good morning. It is really a blessing to all of you that I can't sing because if I could, oh my God. If you believe that I'm insufferable now if you think I'm annoying now just imagine if I could sing okay god spared you all just so you know as you can see we have a lot of conflicting vibes going on number one being that you are not in fact confused this is

a vlog however the drama that's unfolded in my life right there has been a lot of spooky scary activity going on in this household, like things that are keeping me up at night. I don't know what I did to unleash this new energy in my house where like doors are opening and closing by themselves.

This was me a few days later when I realized I've been having some ghosts come around lately and the door just opened by itself and we're just gonna ignore it and we're just gonna keep going. Every time I turn on a camera, the audio sounds as if we are going through the dishwasher.

Like I don't know what it is. Every camera, every microphone.

Hey!

It's just,

it's crazy. I just already happened to have all this set up and I was thinking, oh my God, if I film this entire vlog section for the second time, I better have like backup audio options.

So that is why we are set up in the way that we are set up today. Number two, I am very conflicted on what season it is. We are fully like middle of August and I've already started decorating for Halloween. And I don't know if that's because I've been inspired by the ghosty ghoulies that are running around my house all night in the middle of the night. I don't know. Clap if you care. All right, let's move on. Perfect.

This was not the summer that I turned pretty. This was the summer that I got flipped upside down, inside out, railed in the inner thighs by a Pilates reformer. I'm a few months early dare. I say to my 30-day challenge that I do every single year. I'm a little early Oh my god, I don't think you could pay a Gen Z girl including myself enough money to shut the fuck up about Pilates It's a it's an epidemic at this point. It's all the rage Pilates Pilates

This is my fourth day in a row going to LaGree Pilates. I'm heading to Pilates. I really enjoy Pilates because, I mean, half the time you get to lay down, so I just close my eyes.

It's all anyone can talk about.

Pilates is having a moment. Recently exploding on social media.

The girls, they're hanging up their running shoes. They're hanging up their HIIT workout memberships. They're hanging up their SoulCycle bikes, and they are exclusively going to Pilates. So what did I want wanna do as the investigative researcher that I am, that is always putting my face and my body at risk to deep dive into all of the things

that are going on in the internet, all of the trends of the world. It was my due diligence that I had to go on an investigative research project yet again about why the, can nobody f*** up about Pilates. So with a little Google search I found out that the only Pilates studio within a

27 mile radius of me is a little place called Club Pilates. I called to sign up for a membership found out it's $230 a month And apparently the girls of the internet call it the jiffy lube of Pilates, but options are limited, okay?

Oh my God.

You might be looking at me and you might be thinking, wow, Morgan, you've never looked worse. Just from the naked eye, it might not look like I'm in my clean girl Pilate princess, ready to settle down with my billionaire yacht husband. It might not look that way. The spirit is fully there. For the past few years, I have been wanting a blender,

and the other day I went to Costco and I was like, you know what? I am a grown, independent woman. If I want a blender, I'm gonna buy a blender and the other day I went to Costco and I was like you know what I am a grown independent woman if I want a blender I'm gonna buy a blender. Got my blender so I can make my little Pilates girl protein smoothies. Been waiting for the absolute perfect moment to whip this bad boy out. Went to the store got all my little ingredients put my hand in the box just about sawed my hand off. 10 out of 10 purchase though. The smoothie is so delicious. My ass is shaking. Sat on a chair, felt like I was vibrating.

It does not matter how we showed up. The fact of the matter is that we showed up. I had genuinely no idea that the Suburbian Strip Mall, Club Pilates, it was the cult gathering place for all women over 50. I had no idea.

Pre-booked last week a bunch of classes because I've been having trouble getting into the classes. You know, like I pay for the membership, I do all these things. All of the classes every day are waitlisted by like 10 people. So today was the first day- AHH! Man of the land, cut it out! Cut it out! Today was the first day that I was actually able to book myself into a class.

So how many classes I'll actually be able to get into in the span of 30 days, I have no idea. We're shooting with our eyes closed here. Like, I don't know, we can figure it out.

Woo, cheers.

I don't wanna get overly confident, but I'm on a two-day hot streak Made it this morning Got off the waitlist Luckily, I was awake when I got off the waitlist because if you're not then I guess you're just shit out of luck Typically, it's a reformer class

You know You're pushing your feet on the little bar and you're putting your hands and your straps and your feet and your straps and you're doing

all this

crazy and you're putting your hands and your straps and your feet and your straps and you're doing all this crazy

BDSM shit. Naively, I thought that that was harder and today she was like we're doing everything on the floor Oh I got my ass handed to me My ankles are shaking. I'm shaking in body parts that I didn't even know that I had. We're on a hot two-day streak, so... Good work, team. It has come to my attention that I am just simply in a toxic relationship with this app where you book your classes. I spend all day getting my little hopes up, and then I spend

the rest of the night disappointed, but not surprised. That was way harder than the class.

Whoa.

Clocking in, noon on a Saturday. I've already failed one day because I wait-listed myself for three classes yesterday. Didn't get into any of them. Then you spend the whole day like with a little pit in your stomach of being like,

oh God, am I gonna get in in an hour from now now and then I'm gonna have to like pick up my entire life and just zoom over there. So I do have to report back to you that the scheduling process is a little bit stressful and I didn't think that I was gonna get in today because it's a Saturday. 20 minutes ago, got a notification that was like, we'll see you in an hour. You're in. And I was like, okay. Surprise, bitch.

I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me.

I have not served a single hot Pilates girl look because they don't give you enough time to like plan for the shit. They're like, okay, can you be here in five minutes? Someone dropped out and you're like,

yeah, I guess so.

Craziest thing about it, I know that this is the most first world rant that I'm ever gonna go on. If you get wait-listed like an hour before, if you get off the wait list and then suddenly they're like, okay, joke's on you, you're actually coming. If you don't go, then they still charge your ass. I don't know.

I have been to what feels like every workout studio that exists in this state and none of them are this damn stressful to get in the damn class. Maybe I just need to be better at planning and book a class like three years in advance, you know? I think that they want you to start booking classes now for 2047.

We're doing it though. Yet another day where I waitlisted myself for three different classes. I ate it all day. Didn't get into a single one. What is this starting to feel like? Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing. I'm just going to do a little Pilates workout on my phone

on the YouTube to keep my streak going, because the studio that I pay $200 a month to is apparently booked and busy always. Good news, ladies and gentlemen. Somehow I defied all odds and got into a class today at 4 p.m. I have been feeling emo all day long on an emotional roller coaster or not.

Checking in, still doing it.

What a day.

This is my top secret footage to show you what a typical class is like. It's a lot of bending, a lot of pulsing, a lot of squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. Yeah, girl, pulse those legs. A lot of ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ten minute nighttime Pilates. Oh boy. Listen, it's been a day. You know when you have a day and it feels like it's been a day and a half because it's been such a long day? Yeah, I've had a day and a half. We're gonna do 10 minute full ballotties, pallotties, galotties, ballotties, puh, puh, lotties from a girl named Lydia,

whom just popped up on my TV at random.

Hi, it's Robin from Donna's Life and today I'm going to be doing a...

Whoa, that is not my girl.

I'm sure that girl's great too, but I was going for pajama girl.

Hello everyone, I hope you're all doing well and you're having a great week so far.

Oh, she's zen.

She is so much zen.

Girl, I was not ready for you to start. Is she not going to tell me what to do? Okay. Ooh, I cut my knee shaving yesterday and that hurts.

Ah!

Oh, she doesn't wanna tell you what you're doing,

she just wants you to watch, okay?

Ow!

Wow, this is kind of an easy gig.

Like, she doesn't even have to talk.

You're telling me I could just do this

and post it for you with no sound? I guess I'm not aesthetically pleasing like her. Oh

nine Seven. Oh my god. I'm so funny

Five okay three two one. Whoo. I got this one open the door close the door

My name is Bella Hittite

I can go super speedy. Okay, back to the pulsing. Whoa! Oh my god, there's a shard of glass on the floor. That's a hazard.

Oh, I don't know if Zen music was right for this.

This better be the last 30 seconds.

I really thought that this was going to be an easy breezy little thing.

Girlie Pop just humbled me in her teddy bear costume. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I really thought that this was gonna be an easy breezy little thing

Girly pop just a humble man in her teddy pair of pajamas

Good night

The way that my inner thighs feel

As if I just cooked them in the oven at 450 degrees for eight days straight. Oh my god

Hey Another day done of all of the workouts that I've done in the past. It's usually a lot of like fast paced cardio or really heavy lifting weights, so it's usually like my stamina that's being tested or my upper body strength, you know? I am on fire. And this is how all the girls get you, you know, because it looks so silly, you know,

you're just sliding back and forth on Little Reformer. It looks so easy, it looks so minuscule movement. No, no. I have been humbled beyond my greatest beliefs I used to be so good at this keep in mind the last time that I did this was probably high school that was a big fat fail I thought I was just gonna blow all of your minds. No, I didn't

Okay. Well I'm not in high school anymore. That's for sure. If you've ever watched any of my workout journeys my Transformation videos I get a hyper fixation on one specific workout and then I make it my entire personality Like I don't know if you've ever seen any of those I still stand behind the fact that the only workout that I've ever found true success in is rumble boxing is my H IIT high intensity interval training boxing and weightlifting that is the only thing that I've ever noticed a significant change in

The way that I look the way that I, the way that my body operates throughout the world. I am a diehard rumble gal. I don't know if it's just the season of life that I'm in. I don't know if I'm just more busy than usual, or I don't know if I've just burnt myself out a little bit, but I don't think it's a bad thing.

I'm just not in a season of life where I wanna wake up at 645 and go to a high intensity interval training workout and then be starving and tired all day. Like there, it's great. I love it. There's a time and a place for it. I do believe that I will get an itch to go back to it

one day. I just don't have it in me right now. We as the girls and the gays, we go through waves where sometimes we're really, really motivated to be toned, tan, fit, and ready. And sometimes like the season of life that I'm in right now, we want to lay on the couch and eat candy whenever we have a

free second to breathe. There have been seasons of my life where my biggest priority is like, I want to be the fittest, strongest, fastest, most elevated version of my fitness self. And that's like all that I can think about. That's my life goal.

Right now, I'm just feeling a little lazier than usual and I'm just finding myself not wanting to do that right now and that's okay. I just happen to be in a lazy bitch season of life. It is what it is. I went out of my way,

there's literally two things on this note, was writing how I felt throughout this entire thing and my notes after the first week, this is so unbelievably annoying to try to get into a class and then I had to get a reality check on myself. Okay, I can understand the logistics of the Pilates class are very different than the logistics of like a SoulCycle class or a Rumble class or a gym where you can just walk your happy self in, check in and do what you got to do. All of these big fitness studios, the berries of the world, the Orange Theories, the SoulCycle,

they can fit in 40 to 50 people every single class. You're most likely gonna be able to get in whenever you damn please, right? The Pilates reformer, the very exclusive, the very high class, the very outrageously expensive. I do have to tell you, this is the most expensive workout class that I have ever taken part of.

And every time I see how much they charge my bank account every month, I kind of want to cry because like, what? What? You're going to tell me that this is $230 a month. That's insane. Full machines and all these weird nitty gritty niche equipment things that you have to use. I mean, if we have to play devil's

advocate and look at every side, am I annoyed that I can never get into a class? Yes. Am I annoyed that I pay so much and have to like fight for my life to get into one class? Yes. However, it's a more intimate experience. It's more one-on-one hands-on they're gonna come around and they're gonna correct you there's only 12 people in a class am I saying that that's not the most annoying thing ever no but logistically they can only fit 12 high class women into these reformer classes

and that it just is what it is. I mean if we're looking at the pros and cons you're getting a more intimate experience. You're getting...

I don't f***ing know. I don't f***ing know.

Oh my god.

6 30 a.m. Don't want to get too confident because I may not be awake but I'm up I'm up outfit questionable sorry I forgot about you Got a little bit naughty, irresponsible So we said let's stop it, we're better on our own It's a Sunday morning, still have Mount Olympus on my face but we're back on a streak Two day streak, ladies and gentlemen, I know, big news

There's still enemies, but now we're making love to it out of energy

Rise and shine girls and gays, as I'm sure you know because I've screamed about it to anyone that will bear To listen to me being a single housewife of the suburbs. It's a lot of work

All right

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my Pilates girl journey. I love and appreciate you so much. And I'm going to go figure my shit out now.

Thank you.

Now that we're whole, we gotta go get swole.

See ya.

In the past 24 hours, I have been to war with Apple. It's a humble 6.30 AM. I will say the best part of summer and why I'm so much more mentally aware, we're looking at the bright side. When I'm over here having a 24 hour nuclear war

with my laptop and every file goes missing, at least I'm not sitting here at six in the morning in the dark. You know, like at least we're getting some sunshine. I can move my face around, we're getting some vitamin D. I have a class booked at 7. I think I'm gonna take a solid like step back. Like I'm gonna give us a break from each other. I'm gonna give us a... take a deep breath.

Take 5. Oh dude. The way that I show up to these classes looking as if I genuinely just rolled out of bed and cracked my eyes open, it's because I did. I show up here looking busted and crusted. I am not an aesthetic. Like I'm gonna put on my like cutesy little thing

and like do my full face of makeup and no.

Maybe I should.

Why am I stuck?

Oh, I won't, but maybe I should. Why am I stuck? I won't, but maybe I should.

5.30. This is the only time that I could go to my class today, but I really wanted to go because we're going to be out of town for the next week, and that's going to really, whoa, whoa. That's going to really throw my entire plan

up in the air and make it a ginormous roulette. Going today 530 I'm not awake I might be standing I might be breathing mentally my ass is upstairs in that bed in a coma I'm not here you might see see me. You might think no Morgan. You're standing right here. It's a ghost I'm not I'm not with you right now. Oh I've been looking for you everywhere clocking in eight o'clock. I'm a little more awake now. I'm a little more conscious We're going to the airport. It was not an easy task to conquer this morning but

we've done it. We've done it ladies and lads. Hey that's it that's a new variation. You say my videos are the same? Think again ladies and lads. That's a new one. What I just- oh oh my god why did my entire note just delete? Oh my god okay well my entire note of two things just got deleted the deep dark realization that I had about myself during week two was I happen to have a brain that moves a million miles per hour and I'm constantly thinking of the next thing you know what I'm gonna eat for lunch what I'm gonna wear for this what am I gonna do my laundry I have to do XYZ by this time

and then I have to do a ZYX by tomorrow my brain cannot stay focused on one thing and I think that's why I really found a lot of... I don't want to say success but like that's why like a rumble is very good for me because you're constantly doing something different every day. You're going back and forth, you're going to the weights, then you're going to the punching bags, and then you're lifting, and then you're squatting, and you're doing all these different things and it's always different fast-paced that by the time you're going to the next movement or the next little phase of the workout, you don't have time to think about it.

Where is the reformer? You are laying your ass down on that reformer for well over 30 minutes, just staring at the ceiling. And I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but it is a very slow-paced activity for my very hectic brain. I already know that I'm gonna ruffle a lot of feathers with this one, but this is just my truth. I find myself so unbelievably bored

to the point where I feel like I'm in a middle school math class, like counting the ceiling tiles again. And truly, I mean this with my heart and soul. This is nothing against the people that teach the class because I know that they're just going through the motions and teaching the class as it should be. I really think that it's a me problem and it's really good for me to like

slow down my brain and focus on one thing and not think about 10 things in advance for now. But it goes so effing slow. One hour feels like five to me in there when I am laying looking at the ceiling lights. And that's my other bone to pick is why do they have to have the lights on? Why can't we turn the lights off

like a normal ass workout studio? I don't know if I understand. I do like the way that it makes my body feel. I like that I feel loosey goosey. I like that I feel loosey-goosey. I like that I feel stretched out. I like that I feel like I could Bend over backwards and probably do a backbend. However, I do really have to like fight

Demons in my brain to get through the entire class

I Don't know if you're driving faster if the camera is Well girls we're staying on our good streak where are we gonna find a Pilates studio in LA I'm a little scared because I was telling mom the class that I go to is all people pretty much over 50 I sit next to the same lady every day that wears Sunglasses and her air pods because she doesn't want to listen to the instructor and she's like 60 and I think I want to be her when I grow up. I'm nervous because we're going to like the Calabasas hot spot. All the girls in the valley come here and by girls I mean like Instagram models, YouTubers, TikTokers, all the mommy like every time I open Instagram there's

another girl sitting on her knees on one of those reformers saying,

my happy place.

This is an expensive hobby, by the way.

At least here. Oh my God. Well, I thought it was expensive in Colorado. The membership in Colorado is $200 a month. And we were looking last night about the pricing, you know? Our first class as first-time goers was $35.

But if you want the full monthly membership it's $500 a month. My youngest studio is also like 170. I think it's just because it's such a hot spot right now. When I lived here I used to come to this building all the time because this is where SoulCycle was and surprisingly SoulCycle wasn't a hot spot at Calabasas. It shut on down.

And what's the point of you're just seeing like what happens after 30 days of Pilates every day?

Well, yeah, because that's what all the girls say is gonna change your life and make you tone tan, fit and ready.

I am trying to get a six pack. I've been eating really clean and being really annoying. So maybe Pilates will be my gateway to burn the extra little bit of lower belly fat.

Period. of lower belly fat, period. I am too tired to go to my HIIT workout classes anymore, so I had to find something a little more zen. And I think it's good for your brain because it's supposed to like relax your mind, you know?

Do you think these girls are also headed to Be Kind Studios? Yes, these girls with their glasses and their G-Wagon. They're having a good time. Ha ha ha ha,inking their iced coffee. Little like, wow.

LA morning Pilates at eight.

What?

Okay, I guess that means we're done. This is like Kim Kardashian's house. They have a matcha and coffee machine, massage guns, a foam disinfector.

I don't have to buy a phone because I don't want people looking at my head.

This is not the suburbs. Mine doesn't have mirrors that you can look at yourself the whole time.

I don't know if I even want to know what I look like.

I've got two shots of espresso. I'm not trying to die.

But cheeks are shaking. It is not a game here, okay?

Oh, I have some thoughts.

I have never been to anything. That makes my class at home look like Pipsqueak Weenie Hut Junior.

This is bootcamp here. I think that's one of their more basic entry classes.

Oh shoot, oh.

It really like triggered muscles that I don't use so I'm going to be so sore. But my one note, you pay so much to go to that studio and then they want you to clean your, then they're like handing you cleaning supplies. I'm like, girl, these are $45 classes. You guys can clean the reformer machines. That's, and people are going to come for us and say, you can't even clean your own machine. There is no other workout class except for Pilates

that expects you to clean your own thing.

Oh, that's like across the board.

Yeah, I have to clean mine at mine too. They like bring you a little thing, but at SoulCycle, you don't gotta clean anything. At Rumble, you don't gotta clean nothing. I don't clean was a little weird. I guess if it's the standard, it's the standard. But I was like, everyone's just complying

to like we pay $50 essentially. Well, the girls that go there every day are paying $500 a month.

Yeah.

That's more than a house cleaner. One membership could pay for a cleaner for every day for them.

I'm kind of into it though, because- It's nice that you can get a targeted workout and not be like disgusting afterwards

Yeah, this was a nutty and a half. I've never stood on the reformer machine Oh, you had you like squats pulling It was good. If I did 30 days of that I would literally look like I was preparing for the Olympics environment is nice

Coffee machine is free and it's good. It's very good. I mean, they know what they're doing.

I had fun.

I'm going to be tired today.

I'll go back.

OK, we'll see you tomorrow for day whatever.

Oh my god.

I almost got hit by an old man.

He doesn't, he didn't go to, he is're having a beautiful day in Kalamassus? Okay. Rude! This time, it's a guy instructor at a Pilates studio, so I'm like, you know he's gay and

you know he's gonna beat us up.

I feel like he'll like a little more of a challenge. I'm kind of lazy and sometimes I cheat. Mom's not coming with us, she has nerve pain, she's gonna go walk around, have her little hot girl morning walk We've been looking all last night for cancellations, and they don't tell you how many spots So she had to call and be like are there two spots? And then we had to do it really fast to get in if you're going as a duo

It's even harder because it doesn't tell you how many spots are open we thought about last night What if we get on the waitlist and then we were like but that'd be a catastrophe if only one person got in. Because I am not going to run into people that I know alone.

I'm also in the same outfit I wore yesterday.

I'm like, whatever.

I didn't notice.

Maybe you could make a little hometown friend.

I don't know that I want friends. Friends are a lot of fun.

Here he comes.

They moved you in ways you didn't know you could

Yesterday they made you stand on those little

They make you stand on that

Oh, I'm talking to the microphone. I literally can't feel any of my limbs

I think I've lost all freaking executive function in my body limbs Well,, I was right. The male instructor was a lot more brutal. I like couldn't even walk after the class. My whole legs are just like. Getting up into this car was a challenge. I'm not sure if his is just exponentially harder than the girls or if she just already made us sore

and so we're dying additionally.

I wouldn't have been surprised if he asked us to do a fricking back flip. This is not Colorado. They are not the same.

That was intense. Oh, look at mom. She's got her La La handbag and she is jotting around.

Our pedestrian is ready for pickup.

Oh, she would have hated that.

I hated that.

They're gonna make your money worth it there. That's for sure Dang, that one was intense yesterday. I was like I get it. It's like it's fun and challenging today He kicked my ass. Yeah the girl yesterday. She was like we're gonna have a cute fun time The guy today said we're going to war. I was we are training for

Battle it's harder than what I'm used to. It is

definitely different. It's a different class completely than what we go to and this is not a drag because I like the teachers at our studio mom it's just a different ball game. Well I was telling mom I think workout classes in LA are of a different caliber just because like people don't have jobs here except for like making sure their

bodies are tight and right You know like that's peoples job

Well that's the point of the challenge we're trying to get Tone Tan fit and ready

Well if I'm getting Tone Tan fit and ready my diet needs to match my fitness routine

See you guys tomorrow who's ready to go

Bye

We've got birthday stuff going on as Morgan continues to work on her body. Go Morgan, go Morgan, go for it, go for it Morgan oh are you done?

Everything breaks over!

This is so cute!

Happy birthday to you! Look up before you blow!

To Jupiter!

You will never guess where we are going!

With our grippy stickies You will never guess where we are going!

With our grippy stickies. It is my wet dream of a day. On this glorious rainy day, we are going back to Pilates War Camp. It's 757. I'm waiting for my Pilates partner. I'm having a little mini latte my hair looks

We did take a break yesterday because our legs could not function in the way that legs should be functioning after our last two days and Spencer validated us and told us that it's okay to take a one-day break and it was Shane's birthday So what were we to do? We were in a pinch. We were in a bind

Earth doing its morning hydration shed And it was Shane's birthday, so what were we to do? We were in a pinch, we were in a bind. Ugh.

Earth doing its morning hydration shed. He's gonna defend us with his Pilates muscles. Girls on the go, girls on the go.

Third time.

Hi.

There's things today we haven't used before.

Wait. Whatever the hell this is.

Beautiful.

There was a wise man that once said, sometimes in life we have to face the burden of experience. And what I learned in my trip to the great the great fitness Mecca that is Los Angeles, California Is that not all Pilates studios are made the same and after I got my ass Handed to me by all of these like ladies with eight packs. Oh Oh, there's no place like home

I would love I would love nothing more than to lay my ass down on the on the reformer at Club Pilates for 45 minutes and like basically just stretch my legs. I, I was taking for granted the leisurely activity that I was taking a part of. If I did 30 days of Pilates in LA, I think I would be dead. Raise your hand if you just queefed in front of everyone at Pilates Dude I oh my god, good morning. Good morning everyone. I can tell you one thing loud and proud I am very very excited exhilarated thrilled beyond

Comprehension to be going back to my little suburb mom Pilates studio where they are not going to twist me upside down and inside out. I left a little early, we're going on a side quest at 7.37 in the morning because I have not a lick of caffeine at home and although my Reformer 1 class does just feel like a nice long soothing stretch. I don't personally do anything in this life uncaffeinated. I don't.

This morning I'm happy. It's overcast. I'm going to my easy little workout class. There's no traffic. Like, come on, come on. Um, can I just do a venti cold brew?

What's a good name?

Morgan.

Perfect. I will see you up here for 5.35.

Thank you.

Wow, I haven't been here in a long time. 5.45, that feels steep for a coffee with nothing in it. Anyway. What the is happening? I am a bitch that just loves a parking lot. So after spending like a week in LA,

you know, the appreciation that I have when I see a store with a proper parking lot, it's big, it's large. Whoa, geez. I'm half asleep still. I've been trying to teach my mom and grandma how to use Apple Pay.

Oh, I love those ladies. I love my boomers with my entire heart, but it's similar to teaching a fish how to walk. I'm like, double click, double click. And they're like, what?

What?

What?

Huh?

I'm like, just get out the damn card, you 1920sers. Come on. I can see them right now with my 2020 vision. They're sitting on the couch, listening to me talk shit about them being like, did she really just say that? Yeah, it did. It's a double click ladies. That's all it is.

Double click and you're good to go. Being a hair extension girl is hard. My tracks always hanging out, always. Literally 24 hours a day. I'm like, oh, well I'm exposed. Everyone knows I'm a big fat fraud

and that's just, it just is what it is.

Thank you.

You too. That's just what it is. Thank you

Dude I can feel the effects of caffeine just seeing the physical caffeine in front of my face And I don't know what that says about me Cheers, good morning Get ready to get whole and swole ladies. I don't even know what that means It just sounds like something that a gym bro would say and therefore I've adopted it for myself. Okay, we'll see you on the flip side. Let me set the scene for you because a day like this happens once every blue moon. I woke up Saturday. I slept mostly through the entire night. I have a fresh spray tan with my terrifying to

anyone with a fully developed frontal lobe, orange ass hands ready to be rinsed off. It's cloudy, sporadic thunderstorming. Waking up in the summer to a thunderstorm is like my best day on earth. That is my dream. That is like when I look at the sky and I'm like,

oh my God, life is worth living. Life is worth living. Oh my God, I feel it. I am like zooming right now. I ordered a new set of Pilates socks on like Amazon Prime Day or whatever the hell that is that all the influencers are like it's Prime Day and I'm like what the f is that? It was Prime Day. Got new little gripper socks for my toes to really grip grip onto that thing. I finished most of my work yesterday so I have nothing to do. I have a full season of Ultimatum Queer Love to

watch. Oh my- like I truly, I have days like this very rarely where I wake up and think, oh my God, this could be one of the best days of my entire damn life. Anyway, I signed up for the 8 a.m. class this morning. If I keep yapping my mouth, I'm gonna be late. So we gotta go.

Action.

Hey girls and gays, we're here, live. The only way that I can describe how my body feels is I just feel like...

loose.

I feel mobile, I feel like I could do a little... dance.

Stop it.

Get some help.

My limbs have been...

eugh

pulled out of their sockets and stretched to the highest degree and, you know, I was starting to feel a little tension. I was starting to feel a little back pain, inflamed, if you will. And now I just feel like, loosey goosey. How I felt seven days ago versus how I feel today. I went from uncooked, raw, thick spaghetti noodle to like, loose angel hair cooked in the boiled water.

Which is a really great thing. Really great thing. It's Sunday. It's a lord's day. This was quite a questionable outfit for a Pilates class, but all of my clothes are dirty, so I'm just gonna have to- I'm gonna have to do things like that today. I'm gonna have to get all my sweaty pants in the washer. I'm gonna have to- I don't really know what I'm gonna do today. Something grand and great with my newfound

mobileness, I guess. Happy Sunday. Tell us, mom, tell us your hot tea

because we've been trying to go to Pilates together. I know, but it's impossible. And then the thing is you get on the wait list because I wasn't going for a while because my legs were in flame. And now that I keep getting on the wait list,

around, it'll be for seven o'clock, right? But when six o'clock rolls around and I'm next in line and I think, wait, what if I miss it? Then they're gonna charge me full price, so then I take it off of there.

You heard it here. I'm not being dramatic. It's a very stressful hobby. It's a hobby that gives us more stress and then if we want to schedule together it's like... We can't even get in the same class but I love it so much. This is not a drag to our studio or teachers. It's just the way the process

is done and... The supply and demand is just bad. Okay I'm booked tomorrow at 3 but it doesn't-

Maybe I should try to go with you, Mom. Please let the record show I do not feel right and tight, and I do not feel tone tan fit nor ready. I think I've accepted that being a Pilates princess is just simply It's just simply not for me. And if it's for you, I Really love that for you May the waitlist be ever so in your favor

usually when I do these videos the rhyme and the reason and the purpose of the whole thing is to have a before and an after. The point is to be this transformative thing and I am coming to you, not in regret, because I honestly, truthfully in my heart and soul believe that this is the happiest

that I've ever been in my entire life. And could Pilates have something to do with that? Maybe. Do I think it's the root of the like joy and hopefulness and light that I feel in my life right now? No.

Just to put it lightly and kindly, because I could cry thinking about it right now because I never thought I would like be at a point in my life where I feel as happy as I do right now in this current day, in this moment. I would just like to be a voice of reason.

And granted, this is just my experience, but when you're seeing all these girls online saying, stop doing whatever you're doing, stop weightlifting and stop going to your HIIT classes and stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Pilates is the answer to everything in life.

You're gonna be jacked and stacked, baby. To put it lightly and to put it kindly, I am walking out of my 30 days of Pilates fluffier than I went in. That could very well be my fault because I have fallen back into like loving candy.

I have fallen back into loving sweet coffee. I have been indulging in the joys of life. When I tell you that I'm an actual shapeshifter and I can like transform myself into whoever I want to be that day, okay this is me.

Like.

But then you do a little abracadabra switch into high-waisted mode right? Switch into flex and pose mode. I wasn't breathing that entire time, but just your friendly reminder, no matter how many days in a row you work out, nothing on the internet that you see is the reality. Because I can really go from, is she four months pregnant to is she toned, tan, fit and ready? Like, that's all I got to say.

You know, I'm trying to put this in a way that doesn't sound like a negative thing because in my heart and soul, it doesn't feel like a negative thing because like I said, we go through waves, we go through seasons, we fluctuate, our bodies change. Am I on the up and up?

Yes, but am I having a lot more fun in my life than I did this time last year? Yes! This time last year, it was my priority to, you know, get my 10,000 steps in a day and drink my gallon of water and go to my seven workout classes a week and be really on top of my shit.

And at that time in my life, that brought me fulfillment and that brought me joy. And where I'm at in this season of life, it just doesn't do it for me and I'm finding joy in ordering a DQ Blizzard and watching the summer I turn pretty and that's it is what it is. I feel like oh my god I am in such a better place than I was this time last year. Why? Because I'm not afraid to put creamer in my coffee anymore and like I think

that's a lot of that's that's growth that's growth ladies and gentlemen. You know, sometimes I think that it maybe is more about the mental transformation and what something does for you more so than the physical, because listen, I feel thicker than I have in a minute, but I also feel really happy and really joyous and really excited about life in general. So I think, you know, we just got to meet ourselves where we're at sometimes and we just got to look at everything that we have going on

in our lives and adjust what we're doing accordingly. Did Pilates make me stacked and jacked? No. Do I have a six pack? No. Are my jeans falling off my hips because I'm so skinny? You can barely see me. I'm a speck of dust flying through the wind.

Oh my God. Don god, don't blink, you might miss me, you know, no. But I'm happy. I am grateful for the experience. I just don't think that it does it for me, is what I'm trying to say. Like I get it, I like the instructors, I like the moms of the suburbs, I feel very safe there.

I just think, I don't know if I get it to the degree that other people get it and and that's okay. His testimony that he's now a Pilates-er.

Woo!

I've given up on Pilates. I've, uh...

You've given up? Oh my gosh, I look insane.

I am canceling my membership, but we have one success of the video, a new Pilates princess is born.

Why are you canceling? You're just not there enough to justify and it's not hard enough. I've taken 13 classes and it's been less than a month. Oh my god. Yeah, I guess he is on. I will say I was rocking a little bit of a fat pack and I have a four pack back now.

So I lost my four pack and got my fat pack back. Thank you, Pilates.

That's crazy, Ryan. That's awesome.

And cheers to that. Those are my closing thoughts. And that's really all I have to say. It was a journey. I'm going to take my ass that's a little thicker than it was this time last month and I'm going to go. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I love you a lot. I love you so much. Thank you for coming on this journey with me. And I hope that you're getting excited for all of the spooky things to come.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I love ya. Kisses and well wishes to my girls' gayest days and straight to home.

Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye!