I read more of the blog in the YouTube video! #exmormon #lds

Before Ballerina Farm was posting viral content on Instagram, she was a Mormon mommy blogger, and after reading a lot of her blog, I think it's some of the most revealing information about Hannah Nealman that exists. We have family photos in front of the temple, them at church doing their church calling, we have cleaning the church building, which they do for free, they talk about BYU games, Fast Sunday, baby blessings, and reading the Book of Mormon to their kids. Her blog runs from 2013 to 2019, and it covers when she was newly married, when they lived in Brazil,

and what it was like to adjust from going from Juilliard to motherhood. The blog is significantly more Mormon, way more personal, and far less curated than anything she's posting now. Reading through it, I think it shows that she was significantly more conflicted about leaving Juilliard and leaving New York than she shows now. For example, in this post, she is clearly missing New York City and she says she has been mean to Provo, Utah, but that she feels guilty for thinking that Provo is not as cool

as New York City. In this post, she writes that crying is a nightly thing now. She seems to be saying that she's struggling to find purpose in what she does from day to day and says she wants to find purpose in motherhood and wifehood because yesterday felt like I was a diaper changing, counter washing, and floor sweeping machine. And I think that her early Instagram posts reveal a lot of the same feelings. In this post, she refers to dancing as me time.

So this world-class ballerina has to squeeze in this tremendous talent she has into me time and her talent has now become a little side hobby. To me, this is like if Michael Phelps never went to the Olympics but instead is like doing laps at the YMCA while his kids are playing at the pool. This is a world-class talent reduced to a hobby. Check out my most recent YouTube video for a deep dive into her presence on the internet before she got famous

Check out my most recent YouTube video for a deep dive into her presence on the internet before she got famous because I think it really shows the cost of this aesthetic.