I Snuck Into a Minecraft War (and won)

I don't see anybody.

Oh, they're up on that hill.

So this is me.Secretly disguised in a Minecraft war, I was never supposed to be in.An all -out war zone full of ruthless, battle -hardened professional killers.Well, they're on the same team, it's just...Well, sort of professional.And if any of them found out I was a YouTuber, I'd instantly become public target number one.

So I made a fake account, a fake Discord profile, and even a fake voice.Nope, we are not doing that.So my plan was simple.Win the war and don't let anyone find out who I am.And my mission starts now.Okay.

I don't see anybody, but people have definitely been here and we are absolutely not safe.So first I'm gonna find some cover and shelter before someone else finds me. first weapon.But a pistol wasn't going to be enough to win this war.So I'd have to play to one of my strengths, that I'm secretly really good at shooters.Like really, really good.Which meant the next item on my list was getting a sniper rifle.

And just as I started digging for supplies, I found this.A secret tunnel, perhaps?It looks like it starts here at spawn.The question is, where does it end?So naturally, I did the responsible thing and followed it.One secret passage leading to another, then another.

I had no idea where they were going or who would be waiting on the other side.All I could do was press on through the end of the tunnel.tunnels until I was completely, hopelessly lost.But eventually, they led me right where I absolutely should not be.

Oh, look at that.That's a base.

We're just gonna sneak up, take a little peek, and see if anybody's guarding it.I don't see anybody, but this server also doesn't show any name tags, so I'm about to be extra careful.The survivalists.Oh, this team is no joke, and they have a bomb.See, I told you.I don't see anybody home, so I'm just gonna...

Take a look at what they have and see what I'm up against here.I promise I'm not gonna steal anything.So I pressed on to do a bit of snooping on my competition.Knowing that at any moment I could be caught and killed or worse.And to just to say that there's snow over there.I should not be trusted with a weapon.

We're in the base.What?What's down here?This is a ton of obsidian.Holy.There's a lot more storage.

So much armor.Nice.I mean, I have as many diamonds as the whole team.This makes me feel a lot better about where I am.Look at all the stuff I have.And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what I call a really big problem.

See, while I was busy snooping through all their chests, I completely disregarded checking that someone was hiding in the composter in the corner of the room.Nonetheless, my only shot of getting out of here alive was to play it really, really cool.Okay, I'm just gonna mute up and play this as absolutely dumb and pitiful as I possibly can.Uh, stacked.Yeah, look how - you guys are crazy stacked, aren't you?Uh, is you on this team?

Oh, what was the name of the team?Uh, yes.Green?He's green.Pickles are green.I'm a pickle.

get it see no you wait Okay, we might we might be cooked here.We might actually be cooked here.It's playful.It's playful.Oh, just yeah You know what you're right.I should go.

I should go.I should just be on my merry way and Nothing crazy should happen from here.I'll just see myself out.Nope.I oh my god a TPD.Oh, no.

Oh No, he's an admin Oh, you got a mic?

Oh, he's talking.He's talking to me!

Do you got a mic?Can you hear me?No?So weird.So weird that you can't hear me.Did you read the rules?

Yes, I've definitely read rules.I read rules.Definitely I read rules.Most of them.

So I will ban you and you can earn the rules rune pick.

No, this is war.Kill me if anything.Don't ban me.Ban me is the worst thing you could say.Listen, I said I wanted to do this without YouTuber plot armor, and this is what I get.So, that was that.

One day on the server, one unauthorized base infiltration, and SgtPennyPickle's career was over before it even started.Now, here's the part I haven't told you.See, getting into this server wasn't just a matter of applying with a fake account and hoping for the best, because I am had an inside man.And not just any inside man, the owner of the server himself, Candy Power.See, I applied to this server with a completely fake account and even got accepted.But consent is important, even in this gym.

Okay, especially in mischief.Oh my god, you're alive.That's crazy.What?So before any of this started, I told Candy Power I wanted to join under one condition.Nobody else on the server could know who I was.

Which meant when I got banned, he was banned.person who could undo it.And about 30 minutes later, he did.But realizing that I clearly needed help understanding the ins and outs of this server, I knew the next thing I needed was to find a team.And who better to join than my inside man himself.So he gave me some coords to meet up, and I headed out.

What I didn't realize was that also meant joining the team that literally just banned me. I'm sure this'll be fine.

I'm just gonna pretend that this is the first time I've ever been here.

Oh look, there he is!

The gate is this way.

Hi!Okay, this way, got you.

Let me show you around the base before we get you kitted out.This is the gate house.

Nice.

As you can tell, we've already had to open three doors before we even get here.

Yeah, holy - For our base.

We just mined this part in.Do you have a gun to crawl?Yeah, I got a gun.Here's the farm.I'm going to give you one guess what the farm's used for.Yeah, it's used for farming.

Wow.

Here is Peter.I have no clue.Some guy put him here.Alright, Peter.He's a very expensive...Oh yeah, here's our teammate Bear Flame.

Bear Flame, nice to meet you.I'm Sergeant Penny Pickle at your service.

Your voice sounds vaguely familiar.Vaguely familiar, huh?I mean, you have a warm, comfortable voice, so that makes sense.Thank you.Then here is the vault.It's where the items are kept.

Ooh.You guys are kidding.Holy.

It's really easy to be kitted out when everyone else is broke, but I mean, we can consider that.

And after finishing up the tour, they kitted me out with some fresh team armor.Oh, green was a great choice.A sniper rifle with an upgraded scope.

You can see people from nearly across the map.

And even upgraded my pistol.

Yeah, I'll show you a headshot.Once you're healed up, I don't want to like kill you at all.

Yeah, I would be kind of put a damper on the tank.But it seemed like Sgt. Penny Pickle finally found his squad.And after linking up with the rest of our team, it was time to test out my new gear in my very first battle.

So weird we're gonna attack from a different side than straight from spawn because I don't want to get flanked by any buffoons from world spawn If someone dies take their stuff and use it.Wait, is this the Citadel right?This is the city All right.Remember you guys can't mine and you can't place blocks into the into the area But you can use explosive charges before we go in Behind the bamboo there are millions and millions of landmines.Candy Power is placing a charge now.Everyone get back from Candy Power.

And with my first raid battle officially underway, it was time for Sgt. Penny Pickle to make a name for himself in this war.

I see one on top, on top, on top.

I'm putting down two more charges.Everyone stay back.

We have a hole.

Alright, got sharps.

Got sharps.

Oh, there's guys.There's a guy down there.Yep, alright.Light blue is hostile.Uh, all of my explosions should be off by now.All people who are still alive, try and hold position as best you can.

I see him on top of the wall.Got him.

Nice.Yeah, they're gonna have infinite respawns, so just be ready.I'm getting adrenaline shivers.

Oh yeah, me too.This is fun.I've got sharps.Nice candy.

All right.Is everyone ready to advance again?

Yep.

Our goal is to hit their spawn point.You guys ready?

Yeah.Man, this is a really nice building.

This is beautiful.

Alright, we're breaching the dirt.Everyone get back into this smoker room.

Hold on guys, we blew up a thing.We can go down into a tunnel.

Everyone drop down into this tunnel here.

That was a perfect clutch.

Alright Sergeant, I got a task for you.I need you to open that body up there and take the loot out of it while I suppress, alright?

And with our raid going so well, we were quickly running out of inventory space for our loot.So we decided to make a quick stop back at base to drop off our winnings so far.So we can just call that a shortcut.But after meeting back up with the squad and re -gearing, we returned to the enemy base where I figured it was time to show them what I could really do.Got him.

Nice.Nice.

So with our enemy's base in shambles and their resources decimated and depleted, we claimed victory over the battle and left them to clean up their dead, then headed back to base to defend from potential counter -ops.What I didn't realize was the battle of maintaining my secret identity was just starting.

Smooth.He's smooth.Yeah.Oh, thank you.Smooth operator.Smooth operator.

Thanks, guys.Thanks.I just watched a BansheeCraft video and you sound like one -on -one to him.

So weird.That's so weird.

Banshee's too old for this.Isn't he like 30?That's true.Oh, no.He definitely also has a wife.

Sergeant, do you have a wife?

Not at all.No, I live for war and war alone.

Goodness gracious, great balls of fire.

He's playing secretly with clown peers and stuff, you know?

It'd be really funny if both of them somehow got onto the server.Actually, I could go to name MC and see what it is.One skin, one name.Account created March 7th, 2026.That's crazy.Super suspicious.

I just barely figured out what Minecraft was and then I saw this and I was like, oh boy, let me...

Hop on, with guns.I'm just saying, like, he joined a few days after the applications were sent and Candy got the viral video.

So it's not impossible.He did say it's how I'm new to this Minecraft stuff, saw the video and decided to join.But you seem strangely competent.

How many kills did you get?Oh, thanks.That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me. I think you got, like, 12?

SgtPennyPickle, when did you make your account again?

Uh, I just saw it, like, a month ago now.

I've been here for a while.

I watched a lot of tutorial videos.

Skip the tutorial, he's pretty good.

Now, clearly I'd made some oversights in planning this endeavor, and my only tactic to maintain my secret identity was to play along just enough.

What is your favorite skin that you ever wore I only dress as pickles and I will Cheap pickles big pickles little pickles any pickle I don't care what I'm gonna be honest I was just have had this whole thing just passively recording, but honestly, I'm half tempted just to make a comparison video because it's...I pulled up his video, they sound exactly the same.

That's what I said.

He sounds like exactly like him.Plus, his mic is too high quality to just now.What?Like, what other games do you play?

I did splurge on the $45 Turtle Beach headset.I won't lie to you.

Did you play any other games before Minecraft?

Call of Duty.I was big into COD.

Okay, that would explain the high quality mic then.

High quality mic and also competency in combat.How many kills did he get?Like 12 I think.Congratulations, Branzy's now your call sign.

Branzy.Okay, alright.Alright, you guys can call me Branzy, fine.Fine, that's fine.

Branzy double ganger.

This should be more of a Yajiren thing to do, because Yajiren does more stuff like this.Penny Pickle, did you already look at a video of Branzycraft?

Uh, I pulled one up, but I haven't watched it because we were talking.I didn't want to be rude, you know?

Now, watch it.You sound exactly the same.Like, well, it's definitely not him, but it's funny.

To yourself, your voice will sound deeper and clearer because your skeleton base boosts your own voice.

Interesting.Let's see.I'm going to watch.Oh, that chicken is going on.What if I told you that the secret to actually getting good at Minecraft

a chicken?

Ew, this dude sounds nasally.High -pitched.Don't like it.Gross.Disgusting.No thanks.

No thanks.You guys are nuts.Friends, when I challenge - Ew.

That's a one -on -one.

It's slightly different.I hear a difference.

I played this Minecraft event with a fake Branzy.

Fortunately for me, this is a war server, not a detective agency, so...Okay, but after some team bonding and a homicide...My team's suspicions had died down, and it felt like we were becoming not just a squad, but a real team.Dedicated to one another until the end, willing to carry each other as brothers in arms through our final battle.Which is exactly why, when I logged in a few days later, I decided I'm gonna betray the squad.Okay, let me let me explain.

Okay, basically the team that we attacked earlier was so badly broken They disbanded and then put a 10 diamond block bounty on candy's head So he's left our team and the discord because he knew we would probably kill him for the diamonds But that means that my team is now down our best player and the final battle is tomorrow So I figure I can either stay with my squad and all of their lovely gear here or hide in their discord to spy in their plans and choose to team up with the man everyone wants to kill who's living in a hole.Yo.Hello.I chose the man in the hole.

I went mining a bunch.I got enough to like buy basically anything.What is your main weapon?

Right now I have mysniper.

The M700?Alright, here's an expanded ammo for that thing.I tried to put one on mine, but mine is a little bit fancier.

Oh, fancier is it?Okay.Okay.What makes yours so fancy?

Uh, but this one will one tap people in full armor.My team didn't notice it missing.And if they did, I like, I scammed them out of it.They didn't know it was missing what I left of.

Yeah.

And I have this thing.Which is like a mediocre weapon, but it's cool because I gave them out in like supply drops and no one ever used them.

Is it this thing?

No, that's much worse.Take this thing instead.That one's like a Nerf gun and this is like a level up.It's about like you could actually take that on a battlefield.Some guy just messaged me.So we all know that's a Branzi, right?

And this was another very big problem.It seemed my reputation for betrayal turned my former team's suspicions into full -blown conspiracy.Meaning not only was I now teamed with the server's most wanted person, my worst fears of being everyone's favorite YouTuber to kill were coming true.So, we needed a battle plan.

There is that chance.Always a chance.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Take your chest plate, put it, take the trims off.It also happens to, as a bug, reset your durability.

Hey, let's go.Wow.Does it work for all armor?

Please put that helmet back on this.I can't stare at this face for longer without a helmet.

What's wrong with the face?It's a good face.

The face is questionable at best.I'll put it that way.

But with our plan in place and an entire server out to kill us, we headed out for one final battle.

Let's try and flank around this side.The border's moving in.It should be about 30 minutes.

Okay.

But if we go around this side, we'll have a chance of spotting somebody.This is the Minecraftia base.Okay.I'm not seeing anyone.

Also, we're in hardcore, right?

Like, this is one death.Yes.

Okay.

And I think the best way to do this is going to be to get on top of a tree.

Alright, I trust you.

Not seeing anyone.

I haven't seen anybody killing anybody.

Here's my theory, though.I think some of them are probably going to be holed up in the center.So my plan is to use the one -tap sniper to beat them, because all I have to do is hit one shot on them.good plan i'll spot him you shoot him yeah once it gets to us i think it'll mean minecraft is moving oh the first fatality and That means our main competitor the survivalists are now weaker by one player If you were on their team, you could have been blown up to that could have been me.

Oh my see This is why I joined your team all the borders here.

It's ready to drop down and We're going to push across.

Okay, following you.

Field looks clear.

Oddly enough, I think this field was the safest part of this so far.

It's going to get only more dangerous from here on out.Let's get a little bit inside the forest so the forest is watching our back now.And then we're going to wait here to see if we can ambush players running out of the USM base if there's any left.There is one possibility that could be more dangerous than anything else that could have happened here.There's three major teams, the USM, the Survivalists, and the Abyssal Mercenaries.My theory is that they all teamed up and are waiting at spawn.

Oh no, don't say that.

Either they're all waiting and they're like in separate camps that are really close to the center and none of them are shooting each other or two, they are all waiting to catch us because your identity is blown.So odds are we're completely outnumbered here and we're probably going to die.But if we die, it'll be funny and epic, probably.

Yeah, that's true.That's true.I like that we're both green, too.

Yeah, the green is helping because, like, we're in a jungle, but it would help more if we took our armor off.But then again, I don't actually want to risk getting one -tapped by a sniper that easily.

You can say it.It's my face.You just don't want to see my face.I understand completely.The pickle face is a little off -putting.

It's even more stressful because at any point you can get sniped from instantly far away and die within three seconds.

Exactly.The build -up to this fight is insane.

I can't wait to get sniped immediately.scan our horizons real quick, because there is a non -zero chance someone else is in this jungle with us.But judging by the fact that not a single kill has - not a single non -friendly fire kill has occurred, I think we can safely guess what the plan is of at least the majority of the players.

Yeah.

And that's not good for us.That is not good for our health.

No, not at all.

Okay, LordGamingChicken is dead.We don't even have to identify whose team he was on.

I wanted to kill the chicken.It's kind of my thing on my channel.I kill a lot of chickens.

Understatement of the year.I think we've been in this jungle long enough.If there was someone else in here, they probably would have shot us by now or we would have shot them.true so we want to take the high ground of this hill now all right not seeing anyone i think we are good all right that next hill over looks pretty good oh i see one i see one nice nice spotting i did not see him that's a good one one shot at them

Holy.

Oh, we should go.Yeah, we have to push this one.I didn't really want to do it, but now I'm realizing the border's closing in other direction.Wait, what?It's both edges of the border.

Oh, we are in it now, aren't we?

Everybody in the entire server is now within this area here.

I'm crawling around a little bit.Oh, I hear.

Got one of them.

Nice.

Moving up to here.Looks like we're good.He's got an RPG.I'll take the RPG, I guess.

I don't see anybody in the field.

So I'm gonna rush up.They're either above, below, or somewhere down there.Okay, it's moving in now.

Okay, going, going, going.I'm watching.I don't see anybody.They're probably all underground.

Oh, they're up on that hill.Got him.

Nice.Oh, you saved my life!

Yeah, he looked like he was about to hit you very quickly.

I knew I just picked the right team.

I'm glad I stole this before I left.This was a good investment.

Good stolen goods.Alright, we got four more.Four more people and we got this.

Yeah, like they know where we are now.There's no chance they don't.They're either up or down and I have contingency plans for both of those.

Okay.Oh, yeah, I see your contingency.Perfect.I think they're all hiding underground right now.

That's a 1x1 down there.Be very careful.I'm gonna put a charge here.

It's kind of nice when it's small like this because I can see everything.

Oh, I think they're definitely over in that corner because it didn't go off.They're definitely underground though.That's helpful.

Now know where the enemy is.

All right, I'm eating too.

Oh, that's close.

I should get like within five, I think.Yeah, there's a block here, which means they're underground.I'm going to detonate this way up.Pillar up, pillar up, pillar up.

Woo, right on the edge, holy.Oh, nope.

Um, all right, RPGing, get your sniper ready, or, uh, do you wanna build up, or, so you can see directly down?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, give me one second.A little bit up.Oh, I fell.No!Yep, after all that, I died to a ghost block.But my teammate was still alive, meaning we still had a chance to win this war.

Oh, I got another one.

Oh, good job!

Okay, it's just Greif two diamonds left.

But what Candy didn't know was our final enemy had sealed themselves in an obsidian box at the bottom of the world while playing a music disc.All he could do was blindly blast his way closer and closer to a lava -trapped pit with an RPG -wielding psychopath, and all I could do was watch.Goodbye, Candy.So the whole war came down to this moment, and the best way to handle a fox in a hole is to smoke him out.And that was it.The story of how I secretly infiltrated a Minecraft war, and despite not living to tell the tale, still walked away victorious.

At least, that's what I thought.He was still gonna kill me anyways!I was gonna do the same thing, so...GG, Candy.GG.