Jon Stewart on Trump's "Big Heart" & Klepper on Mamdani and Democrats' Big Wins | The Daily Show

This past weekend, the shutdown took its worst turn yet, as notices began to go out for health insurance premium hikes and millions of Americans also lost their SNAP or food stamp benefits. It's as heartbreaking as it is infuriating, but there's one American who's taken this harder than anyone else.

The president is desperate for SNAP benefits to flow to the American citizens who desperately rely upon it. He is a big-hearted president.

Is he? Is he? Big-hearted? Loves us? Because again, and maybe I'm misinterpreting it, but he did just recently dump diarrhea on all of us. I don't know if you remember that.

Yeah. He just, he cares a lot about the American people. Obviously, he does have a diarrhea plane.

Yes.

Maybe that is out of love. I don't know. It feels somewhat dismissive. But of course, I'm only seeing the small portion of the day he spends dumping diarrhea from a plane on the American people.

I'm sure that's not the entirety of his efforts on our behalf. He is so resolutely focused on delivering for the American people all day, every day, seven days a week,

20 hours a day. Did we miss an executive order about how long days are? How far did you guys set your clocks back? How... But, okay, seven days a week, 20 hours a day, four hours for diarrhea plane training.

But point taken.

Donald Trump is a big-hearted, caring man who works 20 hours a day, seven days a week, to deliver for the American people. So I imagine if I were to randomly turn on the camera at Mar-a-Lago, where Trump was on the very night that the poorest of American people lost their food benefits, we would

see images that reflect Trump's concern and dedication. Is that correct? You know what? In fact, let's turn on that camera. Yeah. Yeah. That's what he was doing this weekend. He wasn't working for the American people. That was just some Hollywood Babylon shit that once and for all shows that Donald Trump doesn't give a f**k about even looking like he gives a f**k.

Doesn't give a f**k!

At all!

Also, honestly, how uncomfortable is the seating in Mar-a-Lago. On the very night SNAP benefits ended, Trump threw a Great Gatsby themed ode to decadence and hedonism that even Jeffrey Epstein would have thought was a little over the top. There were dancers, costumes, champagne, a wonderful celebration where the theme was apparently gross income inequality. The slogan of the party as people were losing their food benefits was, I shit you not, a little party never killed nobody.

Did you even read the Great Gatsby? Spoiler alert, the party killed somebody. Two buddies. How do you not know that? I knew that, and I've only read the Cliff Notes. The Great Gatsby is a cautionary tale, and it's the theme for your book?

Why don't you just think, oh, it's a great book about a rich guy who bangs married ladies.

No!

Partially, yes, but the subtext. You see, usually in a time of national suffering, there's a generally accepted principle in leadership that you at least pretend to feel the pain of the people that you represent. But this president seems to go out of his way

to let struggling Americans know that he is doing very well. Your premiums may be going up. Tariffs may be shutting down your small businesses. You may be losing your food assistance, but it'll all be okay because Donald Trump

is building a ballroom that looks like the inside of Marie Antoinette's vagina. Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I don't actually know that. That was rude. I've heard. And I know what you're thinking as your electricity bill skyrockets and they're shutting off your heat. Will guests of this ballroom be able to shit in bemarbled rooms?

Well, the answer is yes.

President Trump revealed photos of a newly renovated Lincoln bathroom.

He posted six times today about it. He uploaded a total of 25 detailed photographs of the gold and marble upgrades, including the view from his new toilet.

-$1,000,000.

$1,000,000.

$1,000,000.

$1,000,000.

$1,000,000. Who designs a bathroom with ass-level windows? I mean, is that...

Isn't that...

Hmm?

Aren't you gonna f***ing frost the glass a little bit there? Throw some shutters up? You're gonna have tour groups walking by just like, go! Oh, no, that's not good. So with all this, it's kind of hard to argue that Trump has been laser focused on, you know, needy Americans and funding SNAP benefits during the shutdown, especially when the notorious power grabbing unitary executive that is Trump pleads that his bruised hands are tied.

The president has lamented this. He has informed USDA and everybody, do as best you can, but the money doesn't exist to do it. The truth is there's no legal mechanism to do it. President Trump can't just wave some magic wand and fix the mess.

There's nothing we can do at this point.

There's not much more we can do because the rules of the road by which we have to play.

The rules of the road! The rules? Did you just say you can't do it because of the rules? The rules of the road? When have you followed the road rules? Well, you follow the road rules. But when have the administration, when has this administration followed the rule? You guys have been grand theft,

f**king auto this entire presidency.

The whole time. The whole time. The whole time.

But now, hey everybody, we're just gonna take a quick break from unauthorized Caribbean boat bombing and sending hairdressers to El Salvadorian prisons to remind everybody, no passing on the right. Gotta respect the rules of the road. How disingenuous has this gotten?

You'll never guess which branch of government that the Trump administration is deferring to for guidance on these food assistant payments.

When can we expect the Trump administration to make these payments?

Well President Trump just truthed out that he needs to hear from the courts how this

is going to be done.

The courts?

The rules of the road and the courts?

Are you kidding me right now? You, you, you. What? He rolls up the road and the courts? Fuck! Are you kidding me right now? You, you, Donald Trump are now waiting for the activist, radical, left, lunatic, Trump-hating, biased, hardly partisan, unhinged, agitator judges

to give you the okey-doke? Is that what I'm hearing?

President Trump just truthed out that he's very anxious to get this done and it's

got to go through the courts.

Nonsense! And stop trying to make truthed out happen, okay? Like it's a real verb. He just... Well, it's an excellent question. He just truthed out.

Like what?

Just said, the president said, the president truth talked. You're, you're a grown man.

You're a grown man.

Act like it. Secretary of the Treasury. Hey, yo, did you see what Trump truth out? Like six, seven, bussing. Whoa, hey. I'm bussing. I was told that means something. So the courts ruled Friday that the administration does have to continue some SNAP benefits and

the administration has finally agreed to at least partially fund it. But even then, they're so weird about it.

We have a little rainy day fund for food stamps in case there's a disaster, which is about half as much as you need for a month of food. And they're saying, oh, just release that.

Yeah, that's exactly what we are. It's a rainy day fund. This qualifies.

But also, as you've seen with the hurricane in Jamaica, that if our rainy day fund is gone, then what happens if we be a rainy day to be a rainy day fund.

What is wrong with you? We have the money and I see you're hungry, but you're not hungry and wet. So get doused and then come back and see me. If you really want to know why the administration seems reluctant to push the issue, you have to burrow a little deeper into the MAG Hive as they begin to express their subtle reservations

about a program that feeds 40-some million people, including 16 million children. On Amazon, you can use Snap benefits to buy an ounce of caviar for $70. I mean, like, I don't think I've even had caviar myself. Like, why should this be a s- Like, who signed off on this?

Relax. I know you're upset. Put down the Panera-charged lemonade and calm down. My guess is, and I can't back this up, is that the majority of food stamps are not spent on Amazon caviar. What is it about these people that get these benefits that bothers you so much?

And please, feel free to make me read between the lines.

Food stamp money will be cut off, and the reaction from many SNAP recipients online has been threats, of course, of stealing and violently assaulting anyone who tries to stop them.

Why are people who weigh 300 pounds on SNAP? Is there no weight limit for a free food program? People are selling their benefits. People are using them to get their nails done, to get their weaves in their hair.

Oh.

Subtle.

With the B-roll you used and the verbiage. I mean, you guys could be referring to any one of the 40-some million who were using food stamps to get weaves. Or subscribe to BET Plus. Or people, I don't know, just people who have a People History Month.

I don't know who you're referring to. It's as though there's people in this country who deserve a break and then people who don't. And we all know who those people are. It was really the centerpiece of Trump's campaign.

Kamala's for they, them.

President Trump is for you.

Simple and effective. Might have gotten him elected. And the real brilliance of it is Trump never actually told America who you were. Are you you? Or are you they, them?

Who's they? Who's who? You? I don't know. I'm sure it's apparent in the Trump children's book, you know who you are. Now, as the they them suffered through the shutdown and Trump pretends his hands are tied, who are the yous that do get the benefit of Trump's largesse?

President Trump has announced a $20 billion bailout for Argentina.

Whoa, they're you? Or the more formal, usted? Wow, 20 billion to bail out Argentina. No offense, Mr. President, but it seems kind of weird that when people are going hungry at home to hand out that much cash to another country.

Argentina's fighting for its life, young lady. You don't know anything about it. They're fighting for their life. Nothing's benefiting Argentina. They're fighting for their life. You understand what that means? They have no money. They have no anything. They're fighting so hard to survive.

Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that Argentina was struggling. And I'm sure that they are using our bailout money in a responsible way that doesn't take for... A weave!

Oh! -$1,000.

Damn you, Argentina!

-$1,000.

I'm just curious. Is that a weave, or is that literally just... Al Yankovic? What are we doing? -$1,000. I'm just curious, you know, there's a lot of countries suffering, including the one that you run. What makes their suffering more urgent?

I happen to like the president of Argentina. I think he's trying to do the best he can.

How nice for Argentina. If only our president had an in with Donald Trump. We live in bizarro world. The president of the United States is no longer even trying to justify random foreign aid or blatant cryptocurrency corruption or let them eat cake optics. All because he loves us.

He claims it's America first. And it creates moments of such blatant irony that words almost fail. Do you know what some of the billions going to Argentina are being used for in the midst of what may be a burgeoning hunger crisis in America?

President Donald Trump buying beef from Argentina.

Beef! What the f***? Trump is for you, Argentinian beef cattle ranchers. Did you think you were American cattle ranchers? No, you're they, them. They're you and you're they, along with the people on food stamps who will not be able to partake in this new Argentinian beef glut. Wrap your head around that!

You know, in a different time on this program, we would illustrate this disparity with a short play. Probably would have had John Oliver come out dressed perhaps like Oliver Twist. We would do... We would do a whole thing where he's begging the president,

Please, sir, I'd like some more beef. Argentinian beef. Yes. And John would be using his fake English accent. John is from Fort Lee. But obviously, we can't do that. John and I work on different one days a week.

But you know what? This delicious irony is still play worthy. So I will do the Oliver part. Albeit with my own cultural stereotypes.

I give you... Oh.

Yeah.

Don't get ahead of me.

I give you Hungry Fiddler Too Weak to Climb to the Roof.

So hungry.

I dream of sustenance. Unfortunately, because the czarist government is shut down, I have nothing to eat.

Excuse me, boy.

Would you like some freshly imported Argentinian beef?

LAUGHTER APPLAUSE Oh, yeah.

Was I supposed to be a boy in this?

This is the first I'm seeing the script,

and I mean, you're pulling it off great.

It's all right.

But, sir! No, that's not gonna happen.

I'm just gonna go back to old you. I'm so hungry.

Oh, well, we happen to have this delicious Argentinian meat that's undercutting the prices of the meat

that you normally get.

Bless you. Bless you. Bless you. Bless you, boy chick.

I'm so hungry.

No!

No beef for you. We don't take food stamps, because you'll just spend them on, uh, do Jews get weaves?

No. I am seen. Well done, sir. Nicely done. Really good job. Well done. get we know.

to work so tirelessly for it turns out he is for you.

reveal anything incriminating about.

And if you're one of those use.

Life's pretty sweet.

But for the rest of us we we're on the outside, and I can only guess what the view is that we're going to enjoy.

Let's start in California, where Prop 50 will attempt to rig the voting maps to squeeze out some extra seats for Democrats, which is a response to Texas rigging its voter map for Republicans. And I know, this looks like a race to the bottom that will destroy the foundations of democracy in the United States. But let's move on.

Because there's also some closely watched governor's races in New Jersey and Virginia. These races gathering a lot of interest around the country, especially from one very specific, low-information voter. Well, the president tonight also warned New Jerseyans and Virginians not to vote Democratic,

saying, quote, you will rue the day that you voted to destroy your life.

Rue the day?

Just a fun tip, you never want your endorsements to sound like something Skeletor would scream

at He-Man.

You know what, frankly, I'm not going to stand for this. I don't want your endorsements to sound like something Skeletor would scream at He-Man.

You know what, frankly, I'm not gonna stand for this. There is only one Rue that I recognize, and that's Rue McClanahan.

Yes. Yes.

-♪ Whoo! ♪

Blanche was the best golden girl. She liked to fuck, but she kept it fun. Miss you, girl. I miss you. Well, while New Jersey and Virginia decide on who will be Ru-ween Who, most of the country today is focused on a mayoral race, in a quaint little seaside town called New York City.

Yeah.

-♪♪♪ I see you've heard of it. The Democratic frontrunner Zoran Mohamdani was campaigning this weekend, and... And based on his itinerary, see if you can guess how confident he is. Are you ready to win this race? Yeah!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! -♪ Come on, come on, baby ♪ Goddamn! Is he running a campaign or a bachelor party? I'll tell you what, be careful, Doran. You party this hard, you're gonna catch feelings for capitalism. Free school lunches sound nice until you get used to that bottle service life.

But clearly, Doran has been riding high the last few days of the campaign, clubbing all weekend, swinging by a Knicks game, and he even appeared on the Kiss Cam with Karl Marx.

So, very nice.

Meanwhile, Zoran's Republican opponent is Curtis Sliwa, a tough-on-crime, beret-wearing vigilante leader who has been shot in what was reportedly a mob hit. What was his final pitch to voters? I assume it was something like death penalty for all the bad guys. Animals are viewed as property in New York State and

we're going to turn that around. Wow you thought Mom Dottie was radical. This guy's out here like humans are going to be the pets from now on. Of course, no one is really giving Sliwa a chance. The only man with a chance of perhaps beating Mamdani is Andrew Cuomo, former New York governor and mayoral candidate,

most likely to tell the Statue of Liberty she has a hell of an ass. After having lost the primary to Mamdani, he is now running as an independent. And Mamdani is out there in the clubs. I assume Cuomo's final campaign pitch is de-serious and de-policy driven.

A little trivia today, because a lot of questions have been asked. This is a 1996 Ford Bronco. Yes, it is an oldie, but it is a goodie. We're going to win. Why? Because of this Ford Bronco.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, okay. A Ford Bronco. A white mid-90s Ford Bronco. Isn't that...

Isn't that O.J.'s car? This was his final pitch to voters. Hey, guys, check it out. I own the only vehicle on the planet associated with murder. And if you're an OJ head, you know

his famous car chase happened in 1994. Which means Cuomo went car shopping two years later and thought, yeah, this will help me pick up the chicks.

You know what?

Don't worry. Andrew Cuomo isn't that oblivious. He's very aware that this car brings up bad memories of loose juice.

Also been ridiculed quite a bit. People saying, oh, that's the OJ Brown. Actually, it's not the O.J. Bronco. And if you look closely, you will see the black and gold stripe on the side that clearly distinguishes it from the O.J. Bronco. -"Yeah, I see that."

-"Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay.

Andrew, Andrew, can you please not touch it like that? Uh, yeah, yeah.

I mean...

Come on, come on!

Whew.

I mean, why don't you lick your finger?

This is my truck's clitoris right here, just right here.

Just...

Believe me, believe me.

You can show off your cool car without doing one in the pink, two in the stink. Now, as surprising as it may seem, Mamdani's critics are not super confident in Andrew Cuomo's final message of, watch me flick the bean on my murder car.

So... Ha ha ha ha.

It's a tough pitch, tough pitch. So, some Republican officials have stepped in with a last-ditch Hail Mary message. Hey, doesn't this guy look like 9-11?

He is a jihadist. This is someone who went and did a photo op with an unindicted co-conspirator of the World Trade Center bombing.

And it's really unthinkable that a little over 20 years since 9-11 you could have a pro-Hamas Jihadist full-blown communist who wants to defund the police as mayor of the greatest city in the world last night

Representative Andy Ogles posted a video of the 9-11 attacks with the caption wake up, New York. Oh

How dare you sir? Yes, so Redmond Donnie obviously did not do 9-11. We all know Bush did 9-11. Seriously, the cynical attempt to inject Islamophobia into this race is disgusting. Disagree with Mavdani's politics all you want.

But his culture and faith is as much a part of New York as anyone else's.

And...

And... is as much a part of New York as anyone else's. And... And... And...

And...

And...

And... And... And... And... And... New York state of mind. ♪♪ -♪ Some folks like to get away ♪

As a politician, it's important to be honest.

Played the piano. From Long Island.

-♪ Have a flight to... ♪

Ugh!

You commie son of a bitch! Get the hell out of New York and never come back!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Yesterday was election day in America. The first big election since Trump's 2024 victory. It was a chance to see if the Democrats had any pulse whatsoever. And last night showed not only are they alive, they are coked up like Don Jr. at a crypto convention.

Whoa, whoa, whew, whew. at a crypto convention. Whoa! Whoa! Whoo! Whoo!

They scored a 13-point victory in the New Jersey governor race, a 15-point victory in the Virginia governor race, a landslide win for California's Prop 50,

and...

let's not forget the biggest victory of the night, the one no one can stop talking about.

Democrats flip two seats on Georgia's Public Service Commission in this year's election.

Yeah, that is huge for our state.

Fuck yeah! Yeah! Whoo!

Whoo-hoo! Yeah! The Georgia Public Service Commission. When I say Georgia Public, Georgia Public Service Commission.

When I say Georgia Public, you say Service Commission.

Georgia Public!

Service Commission!

Georgia Public!

Service Commission!

Whoo-hoo-hoo! Man! Oh! Do you folks know what this means? Yeah, seriously, do you know any... idea what this means? Okay, whatever. The Dems are taking the W. The point is, people were excited to vote,

especially the younger generation.

Hi, I'm so excited to vote.

It's giving election day.

It's giving election day?

It's giving election day.

Um, why are you here? What's the motivating factor?

No, it's giving yes on Prop 50. It's giving hot people vote yes on Prop 50.

This clip is giving me a migraine. It's giving me second thoughts about democracy being for everybody. It's giving let's raise the voting age to one year older than she is. Uh... But this, you know what? You know what? This is a good reminder to everybody that when the Gen Zers at your office

start glitching like that, it's-it's good to unplug them for ten seconds, then restart. Usually it fixes the issue. But still, you can see the enthusiasm. People all over the country were excited to vote. Even people who could not, technically speaking, vote.

Officials in Kentucky were flooded with complaints from voters demanding to know why polling places were closed. Kentucky's secretary of state cleared up the confusion, posting, quote, Kentucky votes next year. You cannot vote in Kentucky for the mayor of New York City

or the governor of Virginia. Sorry. -♪♪

Kentucky. Kentucky. How can I put this respectfully? You are not giving intelligence. Of course, the biggest story of the night was Zoran Mamdani, who is...

-♪ ♪ Well... Well...

Zoran Mamdani, who is democratically elected as sultan of the People's Republic of Al, New York, Estab. Mamdani won by assembly in a coalition of young people, working-class families, pagan graphic designers, non-binary baristas, and, of course,

Bushwick couples looking to make him their third. Meanwhile, his opponent, Andrew Cuomo, had his votes eaten into by Republican candidate Curtis Sliwa. It was an unfortunate divide, but Cuomo's voters took it graciously.

Hey, Curtis, you're a f**king scumbag, like I said all along, all these months. You f**king got 8% in the vote. You split the f**king vote. You f**king sold out like f**king Judas sold out f**king Jesus.

For the 30 f**king points or so, go f**k yourself.

Oh. Whoa!

I like hearing Bible stories told that way. Maybe I should go to church in Staten Island. F***ing Jesus curing the lepers. Meanwhile, Mary Magdalene is over here with the big d***s flapping around. Forget about it. Corinthians 416.

While some New Yorkers are turning so red Curtis Sliwa could wear them as a hat, other New Yorkers are processing their emotions

in a different way.

New Yorkers are going to flee. They're going to flee New York because of Zohran Mamdani.

His win still sets the stage

for a large mass exodus out of New York.

With this guy in charge, you know, they're talking about a million people

leaving New York City. A full nine percent of people say that they will leave.

Wow. You...

You're telling me nine percent of apartments are about to become available?

All right. Oh.

Oh, wait. Holy shit!

That would be the fastest a mayor has ever delivered on a campaign promise. But, seriously, you know, seriously, though, I-I don't... I don't want a million people to leave New York City. I want two million people to leave New York City.

My subway commute this morning was so packed, I had to sit on an elderly man's lap, and he was already stacked on top of a pregnant teenager. Now, I highly doubt that most people will follow through on their threats to leave New York, but it turns out one New Yorker already has his bags packed,

and he happens to be the current mayor of New York City.

Countries are calling me and asking me to come and do what I did in New York City. There's an amazing opportunity that's waiting for me. I can fly private now, I can go on a cruise, I can hang out in St. Bart, and the joy of it when y'all come and say,

you know, what are you doing going to Spain? I could just give you the finger and keep it moving. I have to be stuck on Stupid to want to do this again. You know? So, let me bounce, man. I got a whole life to live.

-♪♪♪♪ Hey. Hey, man.

No one forced you to be mayor. You ran for mayor. And also, you're currently the mayor.

You have two months left.

It's way too early to give a Jerry Maguire speech. F- you, bitches. I'm out. You have two months left. It's way too early to give a Jerry Maguire speech. Fuck you, bitches, I'm out. After Christmas. Right now, let's brainstorm on trash pickup, shall we? And by the way, why are you wearing a tuxedo shirt?

Are you starting your day or ending it? How does this work? Today, Donald Trump announced a major deal to drastically cut the price of Ozempic and other weight-loss drugs. It's all part of his campaign promise

and his one consistent principle of no fatties. He made the announcement at the Oval Office today in an event that turned into a major HIPAA violation.

Secretary Howard Lutnick. Do you take any of this stuff, Howard?

Oh, yeah. Okay, good.

CMS administrator. Memorize? He doesn't take it. Where's Steve Cheer, head of public relations for the White House? He's taking it.

-�. $5.

Steve, he's on Ozempic. Told his wife he's been doing CrossFit in the garage, but nope, it's Ozempic. Steve's got to be careful, though, because I heard Ozempic interacts with Cialis, which Steve is also on.

You know what? Joking aside, obesity is a serious issue, so this could be a benefit. Dr. Oz, you're a doctor, theoretically. Uh, give us a reasonable expectation of success here. Mr. President, our estimate,

based on the company numbers as well, is Americans will lose 135 billion pounds by the midterms. Whoa!

135 billion pounds by the midterms. Why the midterms? Did they add a swimsuit competition to those? Look, I'm no mathematician, but 135 billion pounds divided by 340 million Americans means we each have to lose...

400 pounds by the midterms. Look, and I know that sounds like a lot. But remember, that's just the average. Some people only lose 300 pounds, while other people will lose 500 pounds. Some of us will lose no pounds at all,

which will be offset by everyone losing 800 pounds. The point is, regardless of how much you lose, Donald Trump will be tracking it and announcing your personal results at a press conference. And by the way, another crazy thing that happened at this health conference is that someone had a health emergency.

He passed out. They attended to him. He's fine. But I only bring it up because it resulted in one of the greatest images of the Trump presidency.

-♪♪ -♪♪ -♪♪

Look at this.

Everyone is attending to this guy. Meanwhile, Donald Trump is zoned out like he's in a... a marriage counseling session. You know what? All kidding aside, Mr. President, I appreciate your war on fupas.

You're... you're the America first president. I'm just glad you're focused on the American people.

If the Nigerian government continues to allow the killing of Christians, the USA will immediately stop all aid and assistance to Nigeria. We're going to do things to Nigeria that Nigeria is not going to be happy about

and may very well go into that now disgraced country. Guns a-blazing.

Whoa!

Guns a-blazing. I mean, if you say so, President Yosemite Sam.

You know what?

Maybe, maybe try it again, but with a bit more gravitas.

I'm hereby instructing our Department of War to prepare for possible action. If we attack, it will be fast, vicious, and sweet. F...

-...f...

Fast, vicious, and sweet? Are you talking about military action or a new wing sauce on hot ones? I... Look, I... I don't know where this attack on Nigeria came from, and I'm not the only one.

Trump's boys on Newsmax were also a little surprised.

You know what? It's about time someone stood up for Christians, Rob.

He's doing a lot. That's a big one.

Nigeria came out of left field.

Yeah.

Even the anchors on Newsmax are like, oh, where the f*** did Nigeria come from? I prepared 20 minutes on Bad Bunny doing the Super Bowl. Now I guess I'll... I'll pivot to Nigerian holy war?

Ah, shit.

You know what? It seems like President Trump has the time to start lowering the price of weight-loss drugs and fomenting war with Nigeria, because, turns out, there's not much else going on.

The government shutdown is now the longest

in American history.

Oh, yeah!

That's right, the shutdown. Nothing's going on because the government is irrevocably broken. It's day 37 of the shutdown, and there's no end in sight, especially because Trump still refuses to even meet with the Democrats.

At this rate, by the time the government opens back up, Mike Johnson will have gone through puberty. And, look, don't worry, Mike, those hairs are supposed to be there, okay?

You know what?

It's fine if the shutdown stretches on forever. It's not... it's not like things are falling apart.

New details about the FAA's plan to make unprecedented reductions to air traffic beginning tomorrow to ensure the safety of the flying public during the government shutdown. The list of the 40 airports that will be affected,

from Hartsfield-Jackson in Atlanta to LAX in Los Angeles and from Miami to JFK in New York.

40 of the top airports? That's all the important airports. And don't come at me, Buffalo-Lancaster Regional Airport. Your Hudson News is shit. That New Yorker was from two months ago. Get out of town.

Like, this is going to mess up travel for the holidays for most of the country, and the airline's plans for how to avoid this?

Not super helpful. for the holidays for most of the country, and the airline's plans for how to avoid this?

Not super helpful.

Frontier CEO making this recommendation. If your flight is canceled, your chances of being stranded are high. So I would simply have a backup ticket on another airline.

Frontier Airlines wants me to get a backup ticket. Respectfully, you're the backup ticket.

Yes.

Yes.

You've always been the backup ticket. It goes United, then Southwest, then American, then the Goodyear blimp, then a catapult, then Frontier Airlines. So... here's where we are. Our reality, our reality right now

is that the president is spending his time doting on his pet projects and starting new wars while the country is scrambling to deal with the immediate crises that he is actively ignoring. If only there was a-a picture that would offer a perfect metaphor for this. If only there was a-a picture that would offer a perfect metaphor for this.

-♪♪