My Life Has Changed | Starting a New Chapter

Hi everyone, and welcome back to a new video. It's been a while. It's already November now, and the world around me is slowly turning towards winter. Nature is falling asleep, just waiting for the first layer of snow. I can feel that the year is coming to an end, and honestly I'm a bit relieved. I know it hasn't gone unnoticed that this year has been hard for me.

A lot has been happening behind the scenes and I've struggled with keeping my heart above the surface. And now as this year finally is coming to an end, I feel like I want to just make a short summary and share where I am at today, Because I've gone through some major changes in my life Beside all the intense work of finishing the two-year project of creating a physical store in Sollefteå Which became something incredibly beautiful and that I'm deeply grateful for

I've also gone through a lot of loss and letting go in my personal life. My beloved dog and best friend Nanook, who walked by my side for 15 beautiful years, passed away in May.

Losing him shattered something inside of me and left an emptiness so deep it felt endless.

But in that grief, I was helped by so many of you who loved him too. And as many of you know, a year ago Johan and I moved apart and this year has been a hard, painful and beautiful journey of letting go and beginning our own separate paths. I feel nothing but endless gratitude and love for all the years I got to share with this beautiful soul, the one I walked beside through so many seasons of life. This has been the emotionally hardest year of my life. It's been a year of endings, of loss, of letting go, closing chapters. So many emotions have passed

through my heart. Moments of deep sorrow, confusion and exhaustion and the fear of the unknown. But also moments of so much love and joy and creation and new doors opening up. It's been like an explosion of everything. I've also been moving. Again. When me and Johan separated, I moved to my art studio. And I lived there for one year.

And my plan was to continue living there, since I really loved that place. But this summer, when it was time to plan for selling our house, the homestead, something shifted in me. Instead of selling our big house, I decided to sell my art studio and buy the house myself. And of course, this was such a hard decision to take. I was feeling so confused for a long time, since I truly put my heart and soul into creating that space, my art studio.

It felt like another loss, even though I took the decision myself. But once the decision was made it felt so right in my heart. There were many reasons behind this decision and I thought about it for a long time and I will share some of these reasons later in this video. But deep down I think it came from the connection I feel to this land that runs through my blood. For over 400 years ago, my ancestors came here as the first settlers.

They built the very first house on this very piece of land that my house is standing on, and the foundation of that home still remains on this ground. And just knowing that makes me feel a deep bond to this place. And even though I haven't always felt at peace here because of external circumstances and because I never truly bonded with this house, I wasn't ready to let it go now. I wanted to give it a new chance and to turn the page, to fill this house with a new feeling, with new love and new light. And I don't feel like all the work I put into renovating the art studio was in vain now.

I learned so much from that process, and I got to live in that beautiful space for over a year. It served its purpose. It felt like a safe home when I needed it the most. And now it's time for something new to begin. My older brother now owns it and I think that helped a lot to know that this beautiful little house will still remain in the family. So this past month a lot of things have happened. I moved out of the art studio, which itself was a huge project as you can imagine.

But I got a lot of help from my family. I sold the art studio and bought the house and moved in. But after moving in I immediately went to the mountains to work on some jewelry photography.

Because of this emotionally hard year I've felt so behind with a lot of work. I had to go there to take photos of our new beautiful designs that me and my mother Anita has been wild river was the best thing ever. I thought it was gonna be super super cold and horrible weather but it's been so nice. I also made an effort to try to find my arm cuff that my mom made to me and that I've had on my arm for the past 13 years

and that I lost in this river last year. The river was so much calmer now, so I really thought I had a chance to find it, but I didn't. I was hoping to find my arm cup that I lost in the river last summer. But I couldn't find it. But I will never give up. After the mountains I went straight to Sollefteå

where we have our web shop and our physical store. During the whole process of moving house I've been having my art studio in a room there on the second floor so I could continue work on my art. During the summer I've had my paintings showcased in our gallery and they were sold on auction this September.

And I had promised to make a new exhibition for the end of October. And there was a lot of work to finish all the paintings in time and also to send away the old paintings to their new homes. So I actually spent the rest of October in Sollefteå, living in a little apartment and working in the art studio day and night. And I actually think that was such a good thing for me in the midst of all the changes, to just go into my little cave and focus on my art. In the end of October it was time to take down the old paintings while my amazing team were decorating the jewelry displays and making them ready for the

winter season. I'm so happy.

There you go!

And we actually got everything done in time for the exhibition. Hey, Kylie! Hey! Cheers!

Cheers!

Hello, Philip!

How's it going?

It's going good!

Yeah! So my responsibility is to fill the cups up with apple mousse, apple cider almost.

Nice! Can I have some? Yes!

So Louise has made it, it's with cinnamon and...

Oh nice! Skål!

Skål!

Hey!

After finishing my new exhibition, it was time for me to do something very special. To wrap and send the paintings that had been hanging in the gallery since we opened this summer to their new homes around the world. And there is something sacred about that process. Knowing that I might be seeing each painting for the very last time in my life. And feeling both the sadness of goodbye

and the deep joy of knowing that they are going to people who truly love them. I take my time with every piece and wrap them carefully. It feels like a way of saying thank you to them before I let them go. And my co-worker Adrian builds the most amazing wooden boxes to make sure they can travel safely across the world. This is for Serena.

Ice wings.

Wow. Time for myrkervilla to go.

I am happy to have some help with carrying these big boxes. They are quite heavy. And then a whole month had passed and we are now in the beginning of November. And just a few days ago, for the first time since moving back to the house, I finally got to come home. And to stay here, without having to leave the next day for another project.

Now I finally got to start to settle into my new life. I'm sorry. ♪♪ ♪♪

♪♪ Hello, my loves! I am back again. Can you believe it? It feels like it's been a long time ago. Well, I did a video I think in August or September. Yeah, I think it was September.

In the end of summer when I was picking berries. And now winter is coming any day. Actually I see on the weather forecast that snow is coming on Monday which is in about two days. It's Saturday today and I came home yesterday when I was driving back home again with my car full of stuff and since I had emptied the apartment a little bit that I've been living in in Sollefteå. I felt a peace inside of me that I haven't felt in over two years and I am truly honest when I say that the

peace I feel right now I had forgot how it feels like because I've been overwhelmed with too many things I took on too many things at the same time. But I've learned so much from this time and I don't regret anything either. I guess there is a meaning behind it and something beautiful has been created, but it has taken a lot of my energy. It's like I've been on a big stormy ocean for so long that I

even forget how it feels to be on land. But now I am. Now I reached the shore. I put my feet on the ground again and I know that I don't need to go anywhere now. Like obviously we have our workshop in Sollefteå and I love being there too but I don't need to go there tomorrow or next day or I for now it's I can be home again and do the things I love to do and come back to myself and I've also promised myself to take care of myself a little bit more now to eat better and sleep better and

you know relax because I I think I really need that. One of the things I promise myself to do more now is to be out in nature because I love that. I get so much inspiration. I feel like myself when I'm here. Yeah, actually just being home here. I live in nature. I really live in nature. My house is up there. And then I can just go here in one minute. So I think just being home again is gonna be very good.

This feels like the first day of my new life. And everything still feels so unknown. My heart is wide open in every way. I feel so much love and gratitude and peace and sorrow. Everything. And that's a beautiful feeling. I feel so like all the layers are peeled off right now. I'm gonna go back home, make a little fire and I think I'm gonna start cleaning up in the kitchen.

It's a mess in my house. I have stuff everywhere and I feel like I need to get started on moving in and getting my stuff at the right place.

Let's go home. ♪♪♪ Hmm. Hee hee hee hee. I'm going to make a cup of coffee. I'm going to make a cup of coffee. I'm going to make a cup of coffee. I'm going to make a cup of coffee. I'm going to make a cup of coffee. I'm going to make a cup of coffee.

I'm going to make a cup of coffee.

I'm going to make a cup of coffee. Hello everyone, it's midnight and I have spent the whole afternoon and the whole evening fixing here in the kitchen and starting to pack up some things from the boxes and starting to go through all the cabinets and throwing away a lot of things and you know old food and Yeah, it's a lot to go through. It's been a long journey a big roller coaster And I could never imagine that it would lead me back into this house And now I'm here and it feels

So right it feels like I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. And that is a really good feeling. After this year. Did you hear the sound of the dishwasher in the background? It's so cozy. I love that sound.

It makes me feel so peaceful. Alright, I think I'm gonna go to bed now. And get some sleep. And then start fresh tomorrow.

Good night everyone! ♪ ♪

Pretty good, Richard.

♪ Good morning my loves.

How are you doing today? I am doing very good because the sun is shining today. And it feels like it was a long time ago that we had like a real sunny day. It's been a very dark October and November. Wow. Oh, that's strong! Oh so nice! We should go outside soon! As you

can see it is a total mess in the house right now and that is because I moved out my whole house, where I lived in the art studio, very quickly and I just put the stuff in here and then I have been in Sollefteå for one month whole house, where I lived in the art studio, very quickly and I just put the stuff in here and then I have been in Sollefteå for one month working so I have not even started really until yesterday. Now I have unpacked a few boxes here and started with the kitchen because I feel like the kitchen is like

the heart of the house. The living room, which is another total mess. Every room in this house is a mess now because I had to have my desk, my office here at least for now. I also have just a quick photo studio here just for now because I took some photos

of some new jewelry designs last week. And yeah, then I just have all the books on the floor and it's just a total mess really, but it's okay. I don't feel any stress about it. It's gonna be nice in the end. And yeah, here is also incredibly messy upstairs, because here I have all the furniture for my painting or my art studio, or how to say, because this is where I'm going to have my art studio. Right now I have it as a drying place for all the things that I'm washing.

I'm washing everything, every towel, every bed sheet, all of my clothes. I'm just, you know, a total cleanse. So it's still a big mess here too. So now you at least got a little bit of tour of the mess in the house. But I'm not stressed about this mess. I'm just gonna take one day at a time.

And I have everything you need. So yeah, I think it's gonna be really nice in here. Oh wow! Really is a beautiful day today. I just felt like I need to go out in the sun. It feels so good to sit here by the mother tree again. My favorite, favorite tree.

Which I thought I would have to let go of. A year ago I basically, yeah, kind of said goodbye to this garden, to everything here. I never thought I would be back again. I thought someone else would maybe live here now and yeah, it's a strange feeling. And I think this whole thing, that I sold the art studio and that I bought this house, became like a surprise for a lot of you, as well as it did for me. It was a huge surprise. And I was thinking about it a long time before I took the decision.

I didn't want to move here out of fear of losing it, or how to say. I really wanted to be sure that it was my heart that told me that this is the right decision. Because I really, really loved the art studio. As you know, if you've been on this channel for a while, you know I spent a lot of time on that place. And I really loved the energy there. I felt at home there in a way I never did here. But it has its reasons. I think I got a really bad start on this place. When I got here five years ago, it was a couple of experiences that just

made me disconnect a little bit from this place, and I didn't feel safe and I

never built that bond with it. I loved it! Like I loved the garden and the place and everything but I didn't, I couldn't really relax here I would say. And the art studio felt like a big warm hug. And I guess I just wanted to explain a little bit about why I chose to sell the art studio and buy this house instead. Yeah, one of the things was this, the mother tree. I made a long list in the summer when I was thinking about

what I should do and what decision to make. I wrote a long list of pros and cons of each place. It was hard, It was a really hard decision in the summer. Nothing really felt right at that time. But then as time went, it felt really, really right to do this. Oh, now comes my cat.

Hey! It's only you and me here now. We gotta stick together. I feel like she's more social nowadays. Maybe because I also spend more focus on her. She's always been a very loner, or how to say. She loves being by herself and just doing her things. It just feels like she loves me more now. But I definitely think it

has to do with, yeah, all the changes for her as well. She lost her family as well. And Nanook, she really felt sorrow when Nanook died. Okay, I think the light is very weird right now, but I'm not gonna change it because I love to feel the sun on my face. But what I was gonna say is what made me decide to live here. And I would say that I thought a little bit more about how I want to live and how I see my future a little bit. I think the garden here played a big role. The beautiful, beautiful garden. The

stream that goes out here and the space as well. The art studio was made to be my art studio. That was the thought of it when I renovated it, that I was gonna work there and live here. And then when me and Johan broke up I moved there and I had to squeeze in all my normal life and stuff into my workspace. And it became... I mean it worked, but it was very very squeezed in everything. I didn't really have the space I wish I would have. And this house is much much bigger so I can fit with everything.

I can have both my personal life, I can have a living room, I can have a kitchen. And I can also have my art studio in there. Everything fits so well. So that was a big thing too, that I can have everything at one place. And still feel like I have space to breathe. Also the closeness to the lake, to the water.

This house is so much more close. I can just walk down to the lake in one minute. That is something I truly, truly love. I have fiber internet here, which is crazy. We actually have fiber internet in this village and this house has that, but the art studio didn't and that it makes a huge difference for

me when it comes to work when I upload my videos instead of it taking three hours to upload it takes 15 minutes which is really good and yeah the all the little houses the barn barn here, the... I have a little gym outside in one of the small houses here. Yeah, there's something about this whole garden that is so, so beautiful. But I think the big, big thing for me was that this is the land of my ancestors. That this very place was the place that

my ancestors built their very first house in this village 400 years ago. I think that does something to me. I mean I would never want to stay here just because of that. It adds a feeling to this place that I love and I also realized that a lot of the reasons why I never truly felt at home at this place had to do with things outside. It wasn't the house or this place itself, it was things that happened and now I feel like some of these things are fixed

I've done some things around the property who have made it a little bit better or how to say Yeah, I just have this Strong feeling that I want to give this place a new chance and so far it feels so so so good. I really feel like I can feel at home here. I already do.

Hey!

Hi, good man. I can imagine that it's a lot to take in for all of you as well who have followed my journey and everything through these years. It has changed a lot for me now and things will obviously be different. It's only me and the cat here now, and I don't really know how the future will unfold really. I just take one day at a time. But I want you to know that I'm very

very very grateful that you are still here and that you are following my journey in the ups and downs.

I've been through the worst year of my life

internally, not outside. Things have been okay and good but

internally in my heart things have been so hard. And I'm just about to start my new chapter and I so much look forward to get back doing what I truly love, which is sharing, which is telling stories and capturing life from my perspective. I just want you to know that I won't stop doing this. I love this and I finally feel like I can be 100% myself again in front of the camera because during this year it has been really really hard for me to make videos sometimes when I have this storm inside my heart and I still feel like I don't want to talk about it,

but I still wanted to share things. But you know, when you can't be 100% honest, really, that's hard. I wanna be able to be 100% honest of what's going on in my life. And now you know, now you know that I have

moved again for the thousandth time of my life. That's how it feels like. I feel like only thing I've been doing this year is moving around stuff and I'm so sick and tired of that. I just wanna, I just wanna land. I just wanna settle down and I just wanna wake up in the morning and not having to do something big. I just want to make my coffee and take up the camera and capture the sunrise. Yeah.

It has started now. I feel that way now. A big big project. A two-year project is finished building this door and I've been through this storm and now I'm on the other side of it. So I just have such a good feeling in my heart now that I can finally relax. I can finally breathe and I can finally have time to do what my heart wants to do the most.

I am by no chance going to start any big projects again now. Never, never ever. I feel very happy with what we have achieved and I just want to be in that now and enjoy every minute of it. Oh she's sitting here with me. She's actually a very good company now, like in a way she has never been before. I feel like me and my cat we have never really cared about each other that much. It's like we have this special relationship where we live together, I give her food,

she gives me a little bit of love the minute before I give her food. And then it's that. But now it feels like we only have each other, you know? We need each other. We need each other. We've been through a lot this year. It's been a rough year. And I love you.

I don't feel good. I love you very much. You're so beautiful, lady. Look at your eyes. I love you, mother tree. And you smell so good. Oh, it's so beautiful.

Look at it. Hey, Jari! I'm in the night when I go blind It's a lovely thing to see things through your eyes It's a lovely thing to see things through your eyes

As I stand here now, I can feel that a new chapter has begun. Life feels different, but full of hope. And I just want to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being here with me through it all. For your love, your kindness, your presence. It means more than words can ever say.

It means more than words can ever say. I see you soon again.