Netanyahu: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

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Our main story tonight concerns forced monkey labor on coconut plantations. It is real, by the way. Monkeys are apparently captured and raised to harvest coconuts. You're probably thinking, oh, fuck. This is gonna ruin coconuts for me, isn't it? I'm never gonna be able to enjoy them again

without the mental image of a chained-up monkey and the Thai sun for pay that is, I'm guessing, well below Thai monkey minimum wage. Well, I've got some good news. We're not actually talking about blood coconuts tonight. That was just a decoy, so you'd be less bummed out when I revealed our real topic, Israel. Now, oh, yes, oh, suddenly, suddenly, forced monkey labor sounds pretty good to you, doesn't it?

Oh, please, John, tell me about the sad monkeys. Is one named Bobo, is he already dead? No? Sorry, you had your chance, we're doing Israel. Israel is a country that I'm guessing you're already aware of, but in case you need a primer on its exact size and location, here is someone with a helpful visual.

It's a small country in terms of land. I take, see this pen, this wonderful pen? My desk is the Middle East, and this pen, the top of the pen, that's Israel. That's not good, right? You know? That's a pretty big difference. I use that as an analogy, it's pretty accurate, actually.

So, that's objectively very funny, from him calling the pen wonderful to holding it up vertically, the only wrong way to hold it if you're comparing it to a country on a horizontal map, to taking credit for that analogy as if it weren't definitely how an exhausted aide

just taught him the size of Israel minutes before. Specifically, we're gonna talk about Israel's Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. BB, if you're nasty. Otherwise known as the original source material for Mr. Potato Head.

Netanyahu has been in power on and off since 1996, to the point that he's actually Israel's longest serving prime minister. And for decades, he's portrayed himself as the only person capable of keeping Israel safe, sometimes making that argument through fun campaign ads, like this one where a couple are getting ready to go out,

wondering where their babysitter is, when this happens.

Hey, Prime Minister. -♪ -♪ -♪

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-♪ -♪ -...their children. -...the upcoming elections, you choose who will protect our children.

that's either, my pick is dick or I got twat.

tell her birth story.

describe him as a belligerent piece of shit. ahead of an election in the 90s. Only Bibi.

He's the number one politician in the country. this guy's a fucking nightmare, it's a yes from me.

a danger to the state of Israel, which is pretty direct from a political ally. America's choice to give more military aid to Israel than any other country in history, and a thousand other things, but... they'll also need to tell the story of one Benjamin Netanyahu, a man so singularly focused on remaining in power, he's allied with

the most extreme voices in his country. So given that, tonight, let's talk about Netanyahu. And let's start with some background. He grew up with a father who was a well-known proponent of an uncompromising form of Zionism called Revisionist Zionism, which focused on the need for a military force strong enough to compel the Arabs

to accept a Jewish state on their native land. Bibi actually spent some formative years in the U.S., attending high school in Philadelphia. In his mid-20s, his brother Yoni, a commander in the IDF, was killed while rescuing more than 100 Israelis who'd been taken hostage after a plane hijacking. And he was hailed as a national hero.

And following that, Bibi, who was still living in the U.S. and going by Ben Netai, began to get more attention. And he got pretty good at arguing Israel's case. Here he is on a Boston-area TV show.

Mr. Netai, is the issue of self-determination the core of the conflict

in the Middle East.

No, I don't believe it is. The real core of the conflict is the unfortunate Arab refusal

to accept the state of Israel.

Yeah, that was a young Netanyahu defending Israel on Boston TV. That program, by the way, Tark and Saks with Chip and Chowder. -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Over the years, the show's held some surprisingly nuanced debates on issues like the Mideast conflict, as well as exactly how many penises

Derek Jeter could fit in his mouth.

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Now, after returning to Israel, Netanyahu got into international diplomacy, becoming ambassador to the UN, and ultimately moved into politics where he made his name campaigning against the historic Oslo Accords. They famously laid out a framework for Israel negotiating peace with the Palestinians. And Netanyahu in particular railed against the Prime Minister who signed those accords

on Israel's behalf, Itzhak Rabin. Bibi went scorched earth, even speaking at an infamous rally where the crowd burned images of Rabin in a Nazi uniform and chanted for his death. Just a month later, he was assassinated by a far-right extremist, and many blamed Netanyahu

for stoking the anger that led to that assassination, including Rabin's widow.

To what extent do you blame Mr. Netanyahu and the Likud for what has happened?

I do blame them. The rally in Kikatzion in Jerusalem, they showed him in the uniform of a Nazi. and he was not offended. I do blame them. The rally in Kikati on Jerusalem, they showed him in the uniform of a Nazi. So, Mr. Bibi Netanyahu, now we can say from here to eternity that he didn't support it and didn't agree with it,

but he was there, and he didn't stop it.

Right. Now, Netanyahu denies inciting political violence, and in his defense, it's not like he was filmed leading a mock funeral procession before Rabin's death with a coffin labeled, Rabin kills Zionism in Hebrew, except, of course, he was very much filmed doing exactly that.

There is Netanyahu right in front of one of the bluntest and most unfortunate metaphors imaginable. Honestly, the only way that could get any more on the nose is if he'd held a sign reading, plausible deniability and burned that too. Now, in the wake of Rabin's assassination,

many thought Netanyahu was politically finished. But, the next year, a series of harsh suicide bombings seemed to turn the public mood towards his case that pursuing peace was pointless. And, Netanyahu was elected Prime Minister for the first time in 1996. It's a position that he served in, on and off,

for 17 of the last 30 years. And a key claim he's repeatedly made is boasting that he can bring the U.S. along with whatever he does. Here he is in 2001, during a period out of power, talking to settlers in the West Bank

and explaining that if back in charge, he'd be able to aggressively support them and convince America to back him.

The world won't say anything. The world will say that we are protecting.

Aren't you afraid of the world, BB?

Why are they only in America?

Especially today with America. I know what America is. America is something that can be easily pushed. Pushed to the right direction.

Wow. America can be easily pushed. Even if that is true, it's insulting to hear out loud. If I heard someone on my staff say, I know how to get John to do exactly what he wants, he's so horny for horses, just show him this picture and he'll forget the next three things you say,

I'd be one, furious, two, intensely curious to see that picture, and I can't remember what the third thing is, just show me that fucking photo right now! And to be fair, Bibi has had a lot of success in pushing America, particularly with Republican presidents, and especially with Donald Trump.

In fact, it was during Trump's first term that Netanyahu celebrated what he considered his greatest foreign policy triumph, the Abraham Accords, which normalized diplomatic relations with several Arab states,

most notably the UAE and Bahrain. It was a plan supported by Jared Kushner, who Trump, of course, put in charge of fixing the Middle East during his first term, even though he always looks like he just got his hair cut while sitting in a plastic race car chair.

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The thing about the Abraham Accords was they got those other nations to abandon the long-standing condition among many Arab countries

that relations with Israel could only come

you could basically freeze the Palestinians out.

Palestinians.

He said, we are going to have peace with Saudi Arabia,

and the Palestinians should not have a veto on that.

I've long sought to make peace with the Palestinians.

a veto over new peace treaties with Arab states.

Which is, in a different language, Sorry, excuse my French.

he would do that. geopolitical cereal scientists

working on how to make that dream come true. at home, his time in office has increasingly been defined by attempts to cling to power,

And while he denies those charges, to run through them very quickly, which is just inherently suspicious. by a Craigslist ad offering to go skiing with Tina Turner, has discovered, wait, hold on, that means...

that means cocaine and meth?

explain how particular Netanyahu could be.

Take BB's third and current wife, Sarah.

and the sight of Thatcher's corpse, they needed that bed. I'm rock hard even thinking about it. Now, in 2019,

The one who's yelling all the time.

That is the one.

What's this here in the back? This here is the closet? I think Anne Frank is hiding here in the back.

Look at this. Wow!

Unless there is a second Anne Frank that I'm unaware of. That is a rough reference to eight people live here in terror of an organized system of ethnic extermination because these cabinets are ratchets. And while Sarah is giggling and smiling there, she has a temper.

In 2002, she was recorded saying, -"Bibi is bigger than this country. Why should he even bother? We'll move abroad and the whole country can burn." And while I don't need to show you this next clip, I do want to, because back in 2009,

a newspaper gossip column published an item about Sarah attending a charity event, but didn't mention her professional credentials. It's a slight that she then discussed with one of her aides on a call that it turns out was recorded.

And it is... a lot. I love it. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I have a message from your wife. She's on the phone. Why? Why? And they are extreme.

Itamar Ben-Gaviir, a man once labeled the David Duke of Israel.

It's like calling someone the J.K. Rowling of trans people. How? How does that work exactly? recognizing those settlements as illegal. On his first date with his future wife,

it reflects badly on his wife, too.

bragging about having gotten close enough to Rabin's car to steal his hood ornament.

You managed to remove the emblem from Rabin's car.

we can get to Rabin. That is chilling. from my hood, and not, uh-oh,

a terrorist organization and incitement to racism. In fact, as recently as three years ago, Netanyahu refused to share a stage with him or even be seen with him in photographs, once saying he was not fit to be a member of his government. But now, of course, he very much is. Then there's Betzelel Smotrich, Netanyahu's finance minister. Smotrich once called himself a proud homophobe

and helped organize an anti-gay beast parade, as if the phrase, beast parade, didn't already sound like the most out and proud thing on Earth. It sounds like a brand of poppers that's been recalled. It sounds like a Fire Island party where the only dress code is edible.

It sounds like a bar in WeHo where a lost tourist from Iowa just woke up to the rest of his life. Smotrich is a willful provocateur, often saying things that are not true. It sounds like a bar in WeHo where a lost tourist from Iowa just woke up to the Palestinian people, period. There is none. There was none, period.

Yeah, pretty offensive.

And while he's clearly saying that to get a reaction there, the phrase, there's no such thing as the Palestinian people also sounds like something that Smotrich says to help himself climax. This man is an unapologetic extremist. He suggested that the starvation of Gazan civilians,

a war crime, may be just and moral, and he's led the cause for the West Bank to be annexed. And that is just two of the, to use a polite term, absolute nightmares central to Netanyahu's coalition, with another key constituency being the ultra-Orthodox. Now, one of that group's biggest concerns

is preserving a religious exemption that allows them to skip the mandatory military service required of most young Israelis. That exemption is understandably pretty unpopular in Israel, with resentment only growing as the war in Gaza's dragged on. But Netanyahu's shown himself to be committed

to delivering for his extremist partners. And a big flashpoint came in early 2023, when he moved against Israel's judiciary, specifically, its Supreme Court. That is something that the far right has wanted for a bunch of reasons.

The ultra-orthodox were furious that the court had ruled against their military exemption, and the settlements crowd saw it as an obstacle to expansion in the West Bank. So Netanyahu, who remember, was facing corruption charges, so had his own reasons to undermine the court,

pushed for a judicial reform bill that had substantially reduced its oversight of government. And that move did not go down well with much of the Israeli public.

All day, protesters gathered in Jerusalem and other Israeli cities. They say it's not just that the proposed legislation would reduce judicial checks and balances on the government, but it would also rob Israel of its identity as a democracy. Maybe the most surreal protest was by Navy SEALs,

Reservist Frogmen, who, like other members of the Israeli military, believe that the government's plans are undemocratic.

Yeah, people were so mad, they protested underwater. And you know things are getting bad when the protests start to stretch all the way to bikini fucking bottom.

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And that was where things stood for Netanyahu in early 2023. But then, of course, in October, things changed tragically when Hamas launched the worst terrorist attack in Israel's history, killing some 1,200 people and taking 251 hostages, 48 of whom are still held in Gaza today, with around 20 believed to still be alive. And look,

no one would say Netanyahu personally caused October 7th, but he has definitely ensured that what's come after has caused exponentially more suffering than might otherwise have been the case. As we've discussed before, for years,

he deliberately allowed Qatar to funnel money into Gaza, and he was exponentially more suffering than might otherwise have been the case. As we've discussed before, for years,

he deliberately allowed Qatar to funnel money into Gaza, literally sending suitcases full of money there in the back seats of cars. And he did this to try and keep Hamas in power, as it meant that he didn't have to deal with their more moderate rival, the Palestinian Authority.

It was a massive gamble, and it is one that Israeli journalists still talk about today in utter disbelief.

This money was spent on digging tunnels, and buying rockets, and producing weapons, now killing Israelis. While Netanyahu was telling us that he was our great protector, he was actually contributing, not directly, to building Hamas and making it a regional power.

It's true. Netanyahu was secretly helping beef up the very organization that he claimed to be protecting Israelis against. And he was open about his thinking here. He once told a prominent Israeli journalist that a strong Hamas was actually a good thing, as it meant a divided Palestinian government,

which would lessen the pressure on him to negotiate toward a Palestinian state. And sure, if something's a threat, why not make it more dangerous? It's like the classic advice, if you're ever threatened by a bear,

give the bear a gun as part of a long-term strategy to make negotiation with that bear less diplomatically feasible. What is the worst that could happen? But that's not the only way in which Netanyahu underestimated Hamas' threat.

He also reportedly blew off a warning from Israel's internal security chief that the country faced a challenge at its doorstep with Hamas, which Netanyahu dismissed, arguing that Hamas had been deterred. And that is a statement that has, frankly, aged worse than when Ellen had shirts that said,

-"Be kind to one another." -$BILLIONS! Or when Eric Adams gave Sean Combs the key to New York City in 2023, or when Colbert Show released this interview on YouTube and titled it, Army Hammer Ate NYC Street Meat and Lives to Eat Another Day. constitutes a genocide. In fact, last year, the ICC issued arrest warrants

for Netanyahu and others, charging them with war crimes. But of course, his supporters didn't quite see it that way.

This doesn't really have any validity. Netanyahu and the Israeli Defense Force are doing their very, very, very best for the state of Israel. Um, and I'm sorry that the Hague and the International Court cannot appreciate that.

Okay. A pretty good sign that you're not in the right is if you find yourself saying, I'm sorry that the Hague and the International Court cannot appreciate that, no matter what comes before it. If she had said, the roses is a witty exploration of the trials of modern marriage,

and I'm sorry the Hague and the International Court and what comes before it. If she had said, the Roses is a witty exploration of the trials of modern marriage, and I'm sorry the Hague and the international courts cannot appreciate that, it would be fair to wonder, what the fuck was in that movie? And responses like that are especially wild once you learn the extent to which Netanyahu

has been personally responsible for keeping this war going. Reportings found that at key stages, his decisions extended the fighting in Gaza longer than even Israel's military leadership deemed necessary. For instance, just this March, he broke a ceasefire

and blamed Hamas' refusal to release more hostages before negotiations could proceed, even though that was not part of the ceasefire agreement. In reality, it was actually Netanyahu caving to far-right ministers like Smotrich who had threatened, if, God forbid, the war is not resumed,

I will bring the government down. Even now, Netanyahu's forged ahead with a ground offensive to take Gaza City over the objections of his own military leaders and in defiance of global condemnation. Now, as for Smotrich,

he's openly talking about the annexation of Gaza. Just listen to him. Outline those plans at a conference last week in the grossest possible terms.

There is a business plan set by the most professional people there is and is on President Trump's table and how this thing turns into a real estate bonanza. I'm not kidding, it pays off. I have started negotiations with the Americans. I say this not jokingly now because I also demand. We paid a lot of money for this war, so we need to divide how we make a percentage on the land marketing later in Gaza. And now, no kidding, we've done the demolition phase,

which is always the first phase of urban renewal. Now we need to build.

Holy shit! He's referring to mass murder and displacement as urban renewal. That is stretching a euphemism to breaking point. It's basically like calling the Trail of Tears high-speed mass transit.

That is not remotely what that was. And again, it is impossible to overstate the death and suffering Netanyahu's decisions, of course, to the over 65,000 Palestinians who were dead, the thousands of children who were amputees, and the thousands more who were starving. But also to the Israeli host Palestinians who were dead, the thousands of children who were amputees, and the thousands more who were starving.

But also to the Israeli hostages who've either died or are still being held because of his refusal to prioritize their safety and freedom. It is all truly horrifying, and somehow, in the midst of all this, in June, he launched yet another war attacking Iran,

claiming they were on the verge of developing a nuclear weapon, something that he's been claiming for three fucking decades now. And even after a U.S.-broken ceasefire was supposed to put a stop to the hostilities, Netanyahu continued to antagonize Iran, which finally seemed to wear on Trump's patience.

Israel, as soon as we made the deal, they came out and they dropped a load of bombs, the likes of which I'd never seen before. The biggest load that we've seen. I'm not happy with Israel. You know what, we have, we basically have two countries that have been fighting so long and so hard

that they don't know what the fuck they're doing. Do you understand that?

Yeah, he is pissed there. Though I guess that shouldn't be that surprising. It's one of the six moods Trump displays in public. There's pissed, bored, asleep, a little horny, a lot horny, blissed out on the energy of a cheering crowd, and momentarily oblivious to the crushing void

that yawns within him, and of course, pissed formal edition. Netanyahu nominated him for the Nobel Peace Prize and went on Trump's favorite news network to say this.

If anyone deserves the Nobel Peace Prize, it's President Trump. First of all, he brokered with me the historic Abraham Accords, in which Israel made peace with four Arab states. I think that deserves...

maybe four Nobel Prizes for him. Look, I don't know what is more embarrassing there, how thick he's laying on the flattery, or how likely it is to work. You know, I'd give Trump an extra large Nobel Prize, a super Nobel, if you will, and instead of that dead Swede on the side,

he'd have a chick with huge bazongas. That'd be more appropriate to Mr. Trump's greatness. Look, it is very clear that Netanyahu's desperate to stay in power and will do whatever it takes, which on a personal level, makes sense. If you are facing a potential prison term,

you probably want every bit of leverage you can get to avoid that happening. But some Israelis do recognize the dynamic at work here and are understandably furious about it. Just look at this coverage of a protest there last month.

Well, these protesters in the center of Tel Aviv are absolutely furious at their government's decision

to expand its military operations inside the Gaza Strip.

This one says, Bibi betrays the fighters. Bibi betrays the soldiers, the fighters. He sends them to die. He sends them to fight. He sends them to commit war crimes.

And all for what?

For what?

Well, his supporters say it's to make Israel safer.

Well, no, it's to make Bibi safe. And they believe that when Bibi's safe, we're safe. But I believe the opposite. Yeah, I believe that too.

And the thing is, that's kind of the problem with electing someone because he's an arsehole son of a bitch. You do wind up being governed by someone who's an arsehole and a son of a bitch. The point is Netanyahu is not popular in Israel, and he's increasingly unpopular here too.

A new poll found just 21% of Americans have a favorable view of him. Meanwhile, support for Palestinian statehood is currently at 58% in the U.S. And just recently, a wave of countries, including France, the U.K., Canada, and Australia,

all officially recognized a Palestinian state. In fact, as this map shows, the U.S. is now one of the few countries and the only permanent member of the U.N. Security Council that doesn't. And sure, Netanyahu might claim that he can easily push America back into supporting him, but I don't know if that's true this time.

I think people have seen a little too much at this point. And let me be clear, to attribute the atrocities in Gaza to just one man would be naive. It'd also ignore that while many Israelis vehemently disagree with choices that Netanyahu's made, there's also a fair amount of consensus there when it comes to deeper issues like the inevitability of ongoing Israeli occupation in general and the acceptability of denying self-determination to Palestinians. Those are conversations and issues that are

going to take much longer and be much harder to resolve. But in the short term, Israelis removing this fucking guy from power might at the very least bring a stop to the horrific suffering in Gaza and bring the hostages home. The next election there is scheduled to occur by next October, though if Netanyahu's coalition ruptures, it could be earlier.

But whenever it happens, to anyone in Israel who thinks like that woman, that he is just doing his best to protect the country, or that the ends justify the means, that he is somehow the BBC-sitter everybody needs. It is worth asking, just who is Netanyahu really looking out for?

Is it the people of Israel who've been put at risk by endless war, the man who spent 17 years as Prime Minister and seems willing to do whatever it takes to squeeze out a few more? I would argue that it is the second one. And I for one am looking forward to the day that Netanyahu is politically done. Because if and when that day finally comes it truly will be time to break out the, in words that I'm pretty sure Netanyahu comes it truly will be time to break out the, in words that I'm pretty sure Netanyahu

would understand, the roses and the fucking leaves.