Pokopia

Pokemon is back on top. Every website is giving this game 10 out of 10s. Half these websites are probably entirely automated by AI, so it's not as impressive as it was back when humans reviewed games, but their science is as good as Resident Evil, so let's play this Pokopia. He already fell asleep from this game.

Oh, that's the Pokopedia! Yep, I know that. Pokedex, right? That's what it's called. Do you remember what your trainer looked like? He looked exactly like, uh, Ralph from Wreck-It Ralph. And neither of these are right.

Yeah, he looked like that, like pink.

Oh, it's like a, yeah, chopped down, knocked down trees type game, okay.

Get zooks!

What in the world is a human doing here? I didn't think there were any left. There's something curious about you. If you look really closely, you can see that I'm actually purple. Those simple eyes, that dumb looking mouth.

Wait a minute.

Is this a Pokemon game? I'm gonna jump off this cliff. Whoa there, Ditto. Shouldn't have did that. No, Squirtle needs water.

Water. Water.

Isn't there anything we can do to help? We have to light his tail on fire. You use transform

Oh!

I'm turning into Squirtle! I must say, I've seen better transformations

There you go

I'm saved! I owe you my life You know, it seems like you might have some sort of mysterious power Go water all the ground and plants. With your mysterious power. Alright, watery plants gameplay.

I mean, this is- this is actually more exciting than the real Pokemon so far. Does this count as a Pokemon? It really separates this from the latest, like the real Pokemon. There's way less talking in this. Would you water the dry tall grass, please? Whoa, his arms turn leaf!

Ha ha ha!

Cool!

Water the tree. Headbutt the tree.

Yeah!

What's that you got? It's for you. I can have this? Thank you! He loves me now. I just found it on the floor. He doesn't know.

So this is Squirtle's house. And this is Bulbasaur's house. Ta-da! Oh, he's giving me a present.

What do you think?

What floor did you pick that off of? It's called a chair. What do you think? What floor did you pick that off of? It's called a chair. Only in Pokemon graphics can you say that is a chair. You swallowed the chair. Boom. Oh my god, you can sit on the chairs in this game. This is a huge innovation over the last one.

Who's that?

Pokemon.

Mewtwo?

What game is stapled to your head? What Charmander is that? It's Charmander! Charmander, light Bulbasaur on fire.

I've got this!

If this world grows beautiful again like it was back then, humans will return here as well. Well, we could do that tank growth, or I could put campfires on every single tile and we could light them all on fire.

That would be cooler. Water trees, gather sticks, oh I'm good at this stuff.

Pika!

Pokeball.

Oh, that's pinwheels. How many Kili coins can I get for 50 life coins? Can I still live until next year? Timber, build a GameStop here.

Mewtwo.

Oh, it's just Pikachu. You guys, I just raised Bulbasaur's comfort level. So, I'm doing pretty good at this. I want toys. Don't worry, I got that. Here. I'll put toy blocks here.

Oh, thank you for a pile of toy blocks. Level 2 house.

New items have been added. Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this! Look at this What was that? Woah! Oh ho! Oh it's a human, oh it's a human Oh my god Oh it's so human Huh? Now that I take a closer look at you You're not human at all! You're a Pokemon!

Dodo dum!

Pee-da-poo-da! That's my chair, that's for me Oh, oh they built my house

There you are ditto It's a super awesome house That's- that's for me. Go! Oh, they built my house.

There you are, ditto. It's a super awesome house. You can fit like one bed in there, maybe. And that's it. If you want to have a celebration, you need food. Tacos, specifically.

Whoa!

Use this to keep Bulbasaur in line. I can create a habitat by putting a bench next to a punching bag. Look, Pikachu moved in! Now I can smash this tree!

Gah!

Oh, that's- that makes sense. Cause it's rock smash, it's not tree smash. That's why this is the highest rated Pokemon game. Check out this rock pile! You thinking what I'm thinking?

🎵

🎵

I'm like you, Pikachu! Oh no, Magikarp has amnesia. The stupidest of all Pokemon. Can't even jump more than 7 feet. Got a lot of Pokemon going now. I got a house going over here.

Squirtle's talking to Balloonfee. Pikachu's enjoying the flower patch. I put a waterfall in Charmander's backyard. I put Magikarp in charge of catching food for us so we don't starve.

🎵 🎵

🎵 I've unlocked the jump rope. Come on!

I just need one jump to beat my high score. I got over one jump.

Water's back.

Here we go, here we go.

Alright. That was pretty cool.

I've reached the part of the game where you have to build the wooden steps for Slowpokes so that he can walk over to Tangela and then Tangela will tell him to make it rain so that we can save Onyx who is trapped in a cave so that Onyx can come over here and build the Pokey Center. Okay. Day 1. Non-stop excitement and action. It felt like I was unfolding 30 layers of the game all at once and you know, so many

mysteries and stuff kicking up. Day two, I'm kind of stepping into the routine and the rhythm of the game, you know, I can kind of forecast the formula of how it's going to progress now. I'm still having fun, but man, that first day was just so action-packed and wild.

🎵

🎵

Day 2, I discovered the Pokemon prison. There was like a city that used to have electricity, and Drifloon transported me to the dream dimension, where I found the rarest metal known to man. After eating Kirby, I gained his abilities, and I could, um, put a lamp where Pidgey's house was.

There was some excitement, okay? Don't get me wrong. But also, like, a lot of picking beans.

Beans?

Now there's a happy sight. Day 2 was like Beans Day, okay? But there was a cool part where I opened the mysterious gate into a different, um, city. 🎵

Bleak Beach.

That's where you go when you open the gate. Uh, it's like a rundown old, like, garbage-filled... beach level. But you do finally team up with Pikachu here, and... there's even a Pikachu in one of the houses.

🎵

Day 3, we will finally get back to that high octane day 1 gameplay that I love so much. I built this big pink mansion, masterpiece place. The game said that building was just nice, but if you want the most awesome building,

that's this.

Well it looks like a bulldozer ran it over, that's my best habitat. I could see that Pikachu was getting bored so I decided to kind of spice his day up with some of my Kirby powers that I've obtained in the Kirby dimension. When I was still playing by day 5, I think I finally had to admit, okay, this Pokopia is probably better than that Hobbit game they had. It was like a Hobbit version of this. I don't usually go in for these tree choppers. Pal World made me sad. Sea of trees, I didn't want to see that. Maybe it's because I'm not literally chopping down trees in this, mostly I'm building, you know,

crappy huts and collecting Pikachus. Everybody loves Pikachu, he's the best Pokemon, except for the tree guy and Mr. Mime and Psyduck and Fungoola, and there's a lot of better ones. But Pikachu is still good. And I got 17 of them. I haven't discovered like the actual real Pikachu and then sometimes they throw you a curveball

But Pikachu is still good. And I got 17 of them. I haven't discovered like the actual real Pikachu and then sometimes they throw you a curveball You know they say here's this great Pikachu called Geodude