#shorts

A bowl for watermelon that looks like a watermelon.

No, I specifically remember Mom saying she does not like bowls for things that look like the thing.

Wow, hey, check this out.

Hmm? She does have a lot of magazines.

Oh, and it's the exact one we got her!

Just give her the new one and then take this one to our bathroom.

Nope, nope, nope.

Okay, it's hard to know what she has in that house, so let's just get her something personal. This turquoise looks pretty. It'll match her eyes.

Mom doesn't have blue eyes.

Yeah, but she does have that blue vein in her neck

when she gets mad.

Oh, nice.

Ugh, gaudy bracelet from your dad. I hate turquoise. He has the worst taste in jewelry.

I love cashmere. I'm wearing it right now. I don't have anything for grandma. I don't have a gift for you. Just give me the gift.

All right.

Hey, mom, why don't you open your gift? What are these?

What are they?

Salad hands.

They're salad hands.

So, uh, what did you kids get for your mom?

It's a coupon book. It's a coupon book.

You're welcome.