Stories That Make Us Want To Quit | Reading Reddit Stories

Hi, welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today's theme is coworkers. We've got some nightmare coworker stories, and I'm joined by two coworkers who are cool.

Yes.

Yeah, Trevor and Angela are here. Thank you for joining me.

Thank you for having me.

Thank you for having me.

Yeah. Even though I know, as your coworker, you didn't decide for me to be here. Someone higher up did.

Yeah.

Right there, Emily.

Through the grapevine that you specifically didn't want me here.

Yeah, I requested for you not to be here, but they were like, no, he's the only one available. Right?

And I was like, uh.

Out of our 30 cast members. I'm the only one available. 50 cast members. 50 cast members. 30 cast. I feel like we have a very unique coworker situation, right? Being coworkers as like on camera, like cast members here at Smosh is such a weird coworker vibe, right?

I also feel like the word, like I say, I would say, oh, I work with Trevor, I work with Shane, but the word coworker to me goes back to like my survival jobs, which was like, oh, this is someone I burn time with while we try to make money and keep it going.

Yeah, we're friends in that setting alone,

and then outside of that, I'm like, nah, I don't know you. It's weird that being friends is kind of part of our job. Our job is to get on camera and be chill and have fun, which adds like a pressure to it. Like that's where it's a unique job in that it's like, oh, we have to be cool with each other. Thank God it works out.

But I will say the bond between coworkers is one of my favorite. Like, and our bond, it doesn't really make sense in that thing, but like- Our bond, we don't really like you guys, but I mean, like, I'd say, but like, coworkers, Amanda and I did some of these caterer characters once for a TikTok I was making,

and her and I, we like both like remembered that like, do you remember like when you're coworkers with your survival jobs? You like go through f***ing war with them. Yeah. And you're like, what's your name again?

Like, you don't even remember each other's names. I remember her and I remember that. Or it's like, I just feel like you learn each other much faster than a hangout, than grabbing drinks.

Because you're in the thick of it. There's no time to think. You're moving when you're a hostess or a waiter or something like that. You just gotta go. You're dealing with other people who suck.

So you get used to that. I feel like I look at my dynamic with like, not the actors here, but like crew members. Where I'm like, we're doing a completely different thing, but for us, I'm like, oh yeah, I guess I get a little bit more of that feeling, and I'm still friends with everyone, the same way as I am with all the cast members.

But it's interesting, but I never worked any jobs like that.

So I never had that real experience of it. It's like going through the same bullshit with people and you're the only outlet, you know? It's not like they can call someone an event. It's like if someone does something stupid, like when I worked in the bakery, like they would just come back into the kitchen when I was making croissants

and they'd just be like pissed off and I'm like, tell me about it, man.

What's going on out there in the trenches?

You were in the bear. Something so specific about the coworker group text, compared to other group texts, where you're just like, you're just talking mad shit. You're nodding, I'm wondering if you're talking shit, Ollie. No, I'm kidding.

Yeah, Ollie, we're clocking it. All right, well let's get into some of these stories about what people are doing to their coworkers, with their coworkers, the dynamics of coworkers. Because I feel like there's a bunch of unwritten rules, like what to do, what not to do.

Like would you get married and like do a prank on the internet?

Yeah, like would you do that? Am I the asshole for not buying tickets to the hot new live show series, We're All Gonna Die? I, 34 male, heard about this new live TTRPG experience where players take the stage to try to survive the impossibly dangerous town of Maw Meadows. As players make decisions, their fates are determined by pulling a wooden block from

a block tower. If the tower falls, they die. Each of the seven episodes will feature new characters, and while each episode can be enjoyed as a standalone, each story reveals a little more about the mysteries that lie dormant in Mw Meadows. Episode one and two are already available to stream right now at live.smosh.com.

Episode three and four are a special double feature premiering this week on September 19th and 20th. Should I get my virtual ticket now? Yes, OP, you should. I'm in the first episode, which is pretty cool, and I'll be in the next show on September 20th. Also, we got Jack Quaid on for episode two. The cast lineup for these shows is insane.

How do we even get him? I mean, can I tell them that we got J****** and S****** and S******? I can't? All right. Am I the asshole? Whatever. Go to live.smosh.com to see all of our ticket packages and stay up to date on future shows. Back to some Reddit stories.

Our first one's a confession. I'm f***ing two of my coworkers at the same time. Neither of them know about each other.

Let's f***ing go.

All right, so there we go. Bam. I feel like not maybe the best move to make, but one someone is doing. Well, the title basically says it all, but I just got out of a long-term relationship and have suddenly found myself receiving advances

from more than a couple people. Anyways, it just so happens that two of them are my coworkers. I've been overly clear with both of them that I am single and in no way exclusive, so it's not like there's any cheating going on.

But both of them are technically my supervisors. So I'm getting preferred hours and easier shifts. The only thing is neither of them know I'm the other and they 100% do not get along. Long story short, I might be a bitch, but I'm having a great time. That's awesome.

What the hell, dude?

There are so many contexts. Like, I feel like when you hear a story like this,

I got to know what job they have.

Me too. I'm like, what's the funniest version of this?

Like masseuses?

Yeah.

Masseuses?

Like, there are jobs where this is like, yeah, man, that's just how it is, like that flies, and then there are jobs where I'm like, this is a problem. What's a job where you have multiple supervisors?

Like a restaurant, right?

And you're working shifts, yeah, I guess it could be a restaurant. Funny, but.

I'd love it if they were just like an accountant.

Like if that was.

And it's just or him. I don't know we are I mean, that's so funny It's the paralegal and the two partners. Yeah, it's like all right. This is how it goes a new season of better calls all each other

Preferred hours. Yeah, it's giving like a like a type of yeah like service or like retail. Yeah, something like that

I do think this is a big HR violation because it's supervisors, and they are clearly showing her preferred.

Everything's a f**king HR violation.

They're showing her, but it's also like, it's like, okay, you're having sex with them, but then finding out like, oh, and now they're giving you preferred hours and easier shifts. I'm like, that's not good.

That feels to me like fireable. Yeah. This is gonna end badly. We don't have an update, but it's gonna end badly. I also, it's refreshing to see a Reddit post

that's just like, hey guys, I'm getting away with something. I have clear communication, but it's awesome.

Stick us out.

Okay, but who gets fired when everyone finds out? The supervisor should be the one who get fired. They are the in charge people. They're the one technically taking it. I mean, I think, I would assume.

Yeah.

I had weird service industry jobs. I didn't have anything like a by the book, like at a restaurant or a retail place. Are you supposed to not date co-workers?

I think the issue is more muddy when it's a supervisor, when it's different levels.

Yeah, but like is it a rule?

It probably varies by company, but the problem is that there's just this this Uncomfortable thing of like if someone has power over the other person Then it then where it gets muddy is like oh well I'll give you an easier shit like I think what they're avoiding what what the what they're trying to protect is a supervisor going well I'll give you an easier shift if you have sex with me. Yeah, like that's where it's money You want to pretend that's why it's muddy. That's what you wanna protect. And that's why it's kinda like this rule that's there.

It's not like, hey, no having sex, cause sex is bad. Yeah. But because it's like, we're not trying to.

It's the other way.

They're trying to protect. Yeah. The people who are not in charge

from being taken advantage of. Anything goes in there, and I can see like, if they have two supervisors and it's a restaurant, honestly, the supervisor might not answer to anyone other than like the owner of the restaurant. Like I can see it just being a thing where they just get in a fight with each other,

and then, I don't know, restaurants are crazy. No, for sure.

Yeah, it's also a thing like, with a lot of coworkers, it's kind of just like, you don't really hang out outside. So one of these two supervisors is gonna be like, how's your personal life? You know what I mean? It feels like it's either one or the other.

Yeah, yeah.

And if they hate each other, yeah, then they're probably not talking too much. What a dance though to pull where I'm like, you're sleeping with two people who, you all work together. You're sleeping withbtfiring it in a restaurant.

That's just too stressful for me. I'm like, I could never. I couldn't handle that. I couldn't do that.

I'm trying to think if I could. It seems like a scheduling nightmare.

That's kind of where I'm at. I'm like, morals be damned. I'm like, I can't schedule this.

I can't schedule this, I can't handle this. But it also is giving them a big long-term relationship.

She's communicating clearly to them. Yeah. She isn't cheating, she's single, and she's saying, I'm seeing other people.

And I'm like, sometimes you gotta heal from a breakup and a really long-term relationship and just kinda see the water.

Yeah, she's telling them, hey, I'm sleeping with other people, I'm seeing other people. But she's not telling them who the other people she's seeing is their other supervisor.

And she's posting on Reddit like, I did it!

Yeah, long story short, I might be a bitch, but I'm having a great time. It's like, hey, that's the punchline to a, or a tagline to a movie. Comments, usually the company only fucks me nice Someone said just a regular Tuesday night in the restaurant industry 5,000 up votes someone said Opie's life is going to implode fast than the Titan submersible. I can see why she got divorced

Wow

Yeah, he only said they got out of a long-term relationship, we don't know if it was a divorce. And honestly, look, whether you like it or not, I feel like some people do pull this stuff off and they get away with it. Especially, it sounds like in the restaurant industry that this is just kinda a Tuesday.

Look at Vanderbump, yeah.

All of them.

Someone said, the twist, it's a family business. Kind of a dark twist. Someone said, at a place I used to work, a girl was juggling two of our coworkers like that. Neither were her supervisors, though. The guys found out about each other. It ended with one of them getting arrested for showing up at her place in the middle

of the night with a knife. Good luck, OP.

Okay.

Reddit loves to be like, you're gonna die. You're gonna die. You're gonna die because of this.

She's like, I have healthy communication, I've told them both, I can't be exclusive. You're gonna, someone's gonna have a knife.

You're gonna get stabbed.

You're gonna get stabbed, dude.

Look, hey.

More power to her.

I don't know. I have no problem.

I like how there's a comment underneath that just says, damn. Damn, dude, okay.

That's a good comment.

It is a good, hey, it's something that really happened. Damn. They're just saying, hey, this really happened and someone said, damn.

It's refreshing, the whole thing.

Yeah, a little palate cleanser at the top.

Yes.

Today's episode of Red Stories is brought to you by Hungry Root. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot. food can be tough. Luckily, there's Hungryroot. Hungryroot is the easiest way to eat healthy and take care of your weekly shopping. It's like having your own personal shopper. I'm always working on my health goals and I have some

specific nutrition preferences and with Hungryroot they make it easy to pick from anti-inflammatory to gut-friendly, gluten-free or dairy-free or even high-protein options. Two of my favorite items from my box include the bar Nana organic dark chocolate banana bites and the new primal buffalo Chicken jerky stick they were awesome. I was amazed there was so much in this box and all of it was healthy and all of it Was delicious there's no high fructose corn syrup artificial sweeteners or preservatives in hungry roots food Can you believe it with my busy schedule convenience and ease are key and with hungry root grocery shopping has become food Hungryroot.com slash pit reddit and use code pit reddit. That's hungryroot.com slash pit reddit code pit reddit to get 40% off your first box and a

Free item of your choice for life hungryroot.com slash pit reddit code pit reddit Back to the show All right, our next story Comes from am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for snapping at a co-worker for being an obnoxious busybody when I dropped my coffee? Okay.

Last week when I, 35 year old man, was walking back into work from my break, the lid popped off my large iced coffee and the entire drink spilled in the front doorway of my lab building. I looked down, sighed, f*** me because I really needed the caffeine and started walking to the bathroom to grab some paper towels a Friend 24 year old woman from my lab was walking in at the same time and she also darted off to grab some paper towels But the second that I dropped it another older woman 55 year old woman from a different lab who was on her way out for the night started loudly yelling

OP you need to clean that up in a condescending tone down a hallway of private offices I kind of raised my eyebrow and kept walking to the men's room to grab the paper towels But a couple seconds later when she got to the doorway she yelled Opie Opie come back and clean this up right now, and I turned around and yelled with what Kim? Did you want me to plop down and sit on it? I'm getting paper towels With f***ing what, Kim? That's awesome.

I don't know why that reminds me of the H-Bomber guy. Sell them to who, Ben? F***ing Aquaman! It's a thing. She started yelling back, Oh yeah, well you better be. But I cut her off and loudly said,

Bye! With a hand wave and all of the energy of fuck right off to hell, and she went on her way. This was when my friend popped back out with some paper towels and asked, what the fuck is her problem?

She laughed when I told her about the exchange and said it was wild behavior on her part. But I still felt pretty embarrassed that I snapped at an older lady and childlessly yelled bye in a sing-song tone and waved her off. Am I the asshole?

No.

No.

No, dude.

With f***ing what, Kim, is the funniest thing.

With f***ing what, Kim?

You want me to sit on it? You want me to sit on it?

God damn it.

Okay.

We're building an alien in here, in this lab. We're building an alien. We're building an alien. We're building one. We found parts of an alien.

Sorry, Kim. We have to hold curing cancer for another 15 minutes.

Yeah, well, I clean up my coffee with my ass.

OK. I will say this. I have a personal relationship to this story, not to these people.

Because you work in a lab.

Yes, because I own a lab coat in my sketch bag. OK, no, I spill a lot. And it does suck that when you make a mess in front of a bunch of people, you have to leave.

You have to leave.

Yeah.

And then you hear, like, oh, yeah, Angela did that. She's not here. But I'm getting shit. Like, I get it. I really get this story.

Like, you're like, I'm coming back. Yeah, yeah. It's tough, because yeah, you do have to bounce to get things.

And I have before spilled so much, and I've had, it's happened to me I think twice, where I just kind of take my sweater, and I'm like, sorry. And I use my sleeve, because I'm just like, I just want to fix it now.

I feel so bad when you spill something, starts cleaning it up and they're like no no don't worry about it. I got it, and then I'm just standing there I'm like you're just a piece of shit right now

Don't you feel like a piece of shit if you just stand there you don't even help yeah

Well, no, but it happened recently. I like spilled my water bottle, but I was at like an event like It was it I was in a cleaning myself up too. But they were like, no, we got it. And there were like three people doing it, and I was just like, I don't know what to do, but I feel really awkward, and I appreciate you. It is a very awkward moment where you're just standing there.

But usually when I feel like when you spill something, there's like a lot of people around. Oh my God, I'm gonna go get paper towels. I'm going to get paper towels. I'm not walking away from the spill.

I'm fixing this. I'm not here, but I'm fixing this.

I'm gonna fix this, but in order to fix it, I have to leave really quick. I love to imagine the hallway's super long. The bathroom's way down there,

and he's just all the way down the hallway.

With fucking what, Cam? Just. Yeah, it's annoying. What's annoying about the lady is that she just immediately assumes the worst. Yeah. As opposed to going like, oh, like shit, like, oh, you're probably going to the bathroom to like.

Yeah, which is kind of bizarre on her part to be like, would anyone, would any adult make a spill and just leave? I guess some people would.

Some people would, but it like she they know each other not people in a lab They know each other he knows they know each other's names. Yeah, like it's not some stranger, and she's like this again Yeah, no she just sounds based on the one sentence. We have of her. She sounds like the worst The verdict was not the asshole Comments not the asshole your co-worker was acting like you were a child at the daycare She works at she deserved to get told off Opie responded that was exactly how she said it my friend heard the first part and said it was crazy for her to talk like

That to a grown adult Someone responded that saying look honestly it just sounds like she was at the end of a long shift and assumed you were walking away From your coffee spill forever leaving it for someone else to clean up But frankly even if it was an honest mistake she assumed and made an ass out of well Just herself really Ten bucks says she either has a really useless husband or spends a lot of time on am I the asshole and constantly thinks the worst of everyone

God what's happening to you? That's what happens to me? Yeah?

Yeah, the useless husband. Oh, no. I meant the second cuz you read a lot of reddit. Yeah. Oh, I don't have a husband

I understand now Please Trevor speak just so we can move on okay Never say something I

Got do something dude. Yeah, I mean that's crazy

I'm gonna think about that one for a while. Yeah Someone said uh I mean what did she expect you to clean it up with your suit jacket? How obnoxious not the asshole and I'm sorry for the loss of your iced coffee I'd have probably said worse than that if my caffeine had been snatched that rudely from my lips Someone said not the asshole who does that to another adult? Someone said, sometimes you just need to stand up for yourself to these people once for them to back down forever.

I worked with a similar busybody once and she was responsible for reviewing our admin reports. She had a bristly personality and a lot of people made complaints about her rude behavior to management. I was walking in one winter morning and she spotted me heading down the corridor toward my desk. She ran over and walked behind me, telling me about what errors I had made in my paperwork.

This was a normal occurrence, and I guess I just hit my limit that day. I stopped and looked at her and said, Jesus Christ, can I take off my f***ing jacket first before we start this s***? She looked like I'd slapped her in the face.

She was the sweetest person ever to me afterwards, and would regularly stop by my desk just to chat. That one interaction changed our whole dynamic.

It seems like a crazy outcome to that interaction.

Yeah, that's a crazy switch up. I think some people just like, that almost seems, that comment makes it feel like maybe that person wasn't trying to be, like that's just how they operate, that's the way they work.

So like, kind of being like, oh, I needed someone to tell me that this was coming off bad, to like adjust my behavior.

Because I'm also thinking like, if you spill, I can't believe I'm still talking about this, if you spill, and then someone's like, I'll get you paper towels, and then you kind of just stand over your mess for a bit, and you're like, don't worry,

someone's bringing paper towels. There's not like a great way to handle it. Like it's always awkward. A spill is always awkward. You're acting like the mess cone.

Yeah, where you're like, floor is wet.

That's the worst, yeah, when you spill something and you're like, if anyone comes by, like you're just shouting like, hey, watch out for this if you come over here. Hey, there's a spill over here. Yeah, a spill sucks.

Anyways, Next story. Okay, our next one is a confession. I used to eat my co-workers' apple chips at work, then tell him that I was allergic to apples so he wouldn't accuse me.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Wow.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

That's so funny.

This is pretty. Wow

What a brilliant person Person yes, just to be clear this wasn't because I was particularly hungry. That's awesome! I don't even enjoy them. I actually hate eating them, but I do about them.

I don't think apples should be chips.

I do it for malice. He's like actually allergic to apples.

Still doing it.

He was really creepy towards the girls in the office and always said some pretty weirdly racist shit to our other coworker who was from Mexico. All right, yeah, man eat those apples Okay He was just a crude horribly annoying person who seemingly took enjoyment out of making everyone around him uncomfortable He was like a mix of Todd Packer from The Office and Tony Soprano

He always brought these apple chips into work to eat for lunch and occasionally I would go in take the apple chips and go to the nearby park and eat them for lunch He would go around asking everyone if they took the chips and would act all pissed off because he knew someone took them Instead of just flat-out telling him I'm allergic to apples. I put on a little show He was eating his chips two days before I started to take them and I asked if I could have one I took one and almost took a bite then said these aren't apple flavored Are they and he said they were Then I quickly put it back on the plate and went to go wash my hands, and I said I was allergic

Much more believable than me just flat-out telling him this went on for about two months I must have taken his chips like ten times or so That's so awesome Wow Yeah, you know general rule is you don't eat other people's food, but they're being creepy and racist. I think you're allowed.

And like two wrongs don't make a right,

but it is kind of funny.

It's extremely funny.

It's also so funny for him. What did it say that he kept walking around going, did you eat my apple chips?

Did you eat my apple juice? Hey, did you eat my apple juice? Hey, bitch, did you eat my apple juice?

I guess that's my only thought in this is I'm like, okay, so this guy's awful. Is he gonna, who's he gonna blame first? Are you actually making life worse for some of the other coworkers?

Okay, good thought.

That's my only thought is like, all right, you know he's racist, you know he's like sexist Are you're not gonna be as you've said you're not gonna be the his corporate is this gonna Just make life harder for other co-workers is he gonna start being suspicious of them

Yeah, and you're just washing your hands clean, and you're fine

Something to consider. This is like the most low-stakes form of like vigilante justice Yeah, like this guy is operating outside of the law just taking apple chips.

Because it's not even real chips.

Yeah, stupid chips. It's like if Robin Hood stole apple chips from rich people.

And everyone went, we actually just want the real chips.

They're just as much chips as like potato chips. So, just so you know.

What do you mean by that?

Just like I feel like we're talking shit on apple chips. Yeah, I don't understand those, they're apples.

They're not chips.

Yeah, well, they're potatoes, they're not chips.

I've never had an apple chip.

I'm so sorry, one second, Trevor. So, so, so chips are potato chips, okay? Right?

So, chips are potato chips. Chips actually, chips, like in Britain, they're like fries. They call them chips.

Yeah, potatoes.

Yeah, they're potatoes.

Crisps. Yeah, they call them crisps.

Yeah, but a chip, I believe chip is potato. So putting a little funny hat on it, putting a funny hat on a piece of apples, on a fruit, and being like, here, go play with the boys. No, you're not a chip, you're an apple. Because an apple chip is basically dehydrated fruit. That's dried fruit.

Is a chip not, right?

But I think it comes in the shape and texture.

Yeah, it's the shape and texture thing. Like when you're at a park, those are wood chips.

So if I'm the shape and texture of a bear, that doesn't make me a bear.

Okay, if you are the shape of a bear,

and you are furry. I'm not part of the gay community, but I feel like they Literally made that distinction quite literally made that distinction Made the worst possible comparison like I think they do that. I think they say that

Literally say that. I think they literally say that. We have to move on.

All right.

Sorry.

Comments, modern problems require modern solutions. Someone said, how did this help at all with mitigating his shitty behavior? Someone said, thank you.

You just reminded me just how much I love apple chips and I need to buy some.

You added that comment That's not a real comment

No one in their right mind what I said I need to remember to buy just remind me just how much I love apple chips I need to buy some They sound delicious, I don't know what you're talking about Okay, can I say something kind of like more serious than this story is It is my problem with revenge where I'm like that's cool You're doing this thing to him. That's it's cathartic, but I'm like I you're not making the situation better

He's still racist and sexist and creepy like is not the goal to try to eliminate that behavior or or get rid of him Yeah, this office and now now if all of those are exhausted, and there's nothing you can do yeah

I eat his apple chips That's funny But and I think as an audience the like our initial like yeah When we heard he was a bad guy is like our want for justice when we're watching bad things happen and people get away with Them we go like oh like like I don't necessarily want harm on him But I want him to be held accountable. And if I can't see that, then I'd rather him be minorly inconvenienced as an audience member, but it's not right.

Yeah. It's not even a matter of right and wrong, it's just like, it's not doing anything. It's not in the long run going to fix anything. I think that's how I feel sometimes with Reddit stories, is like, we love this vengeance, cathartic thing, but I'm like, all right, and then what happens? And it's like, and now we're back to square one.

And they're still bad, and they're still doing their thing.

Well, it is doing, it's making me laugh.

It is making us laugh.

Exactly, that's why I like it in movies and stuff. Like, I like revenge in a story,

but in real life, it is hard to. Just to feel some enjoyment right slip some notes being like hey stop being racist Maybe the apple chips are it's it's like a long con plan that eventually he's gonna blow up Yeah, have it and have a freakout over the apple chips. That's gonna lead to him getting fired fair Maybe but I also understand. I will say at the end of it all I understand like watching someone be awful and get away with It you're just like, come on. You wanna equal things out. So it's like, I'm gonna steal his food.

I understand, I understand where people are coming from.

I'm gonna steal his fruit.

Yeah, okay.

It's fruit.

When I eat potato chips, I'm like, I'm enjoying this root.

Yeah, go for it, dude. You sound weird, but do that. Potatoes act, it's starch. Apple chips are weird.

Is this just a starch, not a root vegetable?

Is potato a root vegetable?

I don't know, I actually don't know. What, like, what is it? It can't just be, it's not just starch. Like, what is it as a-

It didn't grow from a starch.

What is it as a plant? It's a tuber. Okay, it's tuber. What's that? So I'm gonna say, I'm enjoying this tuber right now as I'm eating chips. I'm enjoying a tuber. I'm sucking down my tuber. What the fuck is a tuber? We do say potato chips, like that is the long, so like anything is a chip.

I don't know, I'm gonna think on this

and have something to say in like 10 to 15 minutes. Stick with me. Yeah. All right, our next story. This comes from Ask a Manager.

Okay.

My coworker tickled another coworker, and now there is chaos.

Classic.

We're having too much fun.

Classic, classic. My company has had a relatively informal, somewhat relaxed working environment in the past, where colleagues generally got along well and we had a decent time together even while working hard Unfortunately that balance has recently been upended in the department

I work in two weeks ago my co-worker Rachel kicked the power strip under the desk in her cubicle So she slipped off her heels and crawled under to pop it back in The young woman in the cubicle behind her Monica had a serious lapse in judgment at this point She knelt down and slipped an arm around Rachel's ankles when she was vulnerable and began tickling her feet It was an unusual moment to say the least and reactions range from amusement to mild horror

It's got disgusted God's curling up into a ball. I

Was envisioning like tickling like ha ha ha like like yeah, whatever but like oh someone If you're gonna go to tickle your co-worker and the feet are the first thing you go for yeah You're not touching somehow weird. That's somehow weirder. You're touching someone's bare feet. That's.

Hey!

Oh my God. Like if you, you should never tickle a coworker. But if the story was like, oh you came up behind someone you know and like kinda grabbed their midsection or something.

No!

I'm just saying it's, you should never do it, but that's less freaky to me than while someone is on the ground going to grabbing their foot This is like oh, they're in a vulnerable situation where they're crawling under a desk What if and you're grabbing them like a Stephen King monster?

What if when Tina loved us she was like, got your neck! And here's the love. Tickle, tickle.

F***.

If you asked Monica, she would say she only had a light hold to avoid getting kicked during a playful moment that went too far. If you asked Rachel, she'd say she was rendered largely immobile and humiliated. I didn't have the best view, but it looked to me as though reality was closer to Rachel's side Our manager Phoebe rushed in after several seconds of laughing slash shouting to break it up It was a good thing she was there because I thought for sure that Rachel was going to slug Monica

Otherwise this person watches friends Rachel Monica Phoebe. Okay, cool Phoebe walked Monica to HR and we wondered if Monica was done for. Apparently, they allowed her to remain with the company but told her she'd be dismissed if she put one toe out of line. Heh. That's what it says. It says, parenthesis, heh.

Heh.

I don't know the details, but I do know that Rachel was furious that the girl wasn't fired. Since that point, she has done everything she can to make Monica so unhappy that she feels compelled to quit. From passive aggressive emails, to trying to rally coworkers, to petition management to let her go, to bringing up the incident, as it's come to be called, at every available opportunity. As a result, Rachel is becoming difficult to work with, and Monica is becoming a basket case. It's gotten to the point where yesterday I talked to Monica because I felt sorry for her.

I'd heard her crying in the ladies room that morning, only to have Rachel snarl at me later for trying to be friendly. I'm fairly certain that Phoebe knows what's happening, but is hesitant to address the issue with Rachel since she was the original victim. Phoebe is also rather hands-off in management style, so that isn't helping the situation the environment is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and our department being split on whether Monica should have been let go from The start hasn't helped and I can sense people starting to take sides any advice would be appreciated Whoa, that's what a wild situation. This is this is so interesting

For these managers, it these managers it's like, this is not a situation you're prepped for. Like HR is like, okay, if someone makes you uncomfortable, does something sexual or flirts with you or something, those are lines.

But it's like, okay, so I was crawling under my desk and she grabbed me and tickled my feet. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, what? Like, oh yeah, our coworker's a leprechaun. And so. Our coworker's Elmo.

Yeah.

This is Sesame Street. This is Sesame Street. Oh my God.

This is Sesame Street.

My coworker's Elmo, oh my gosh. I mean, yeah, because at the end of the day, I guess with tickling, there is no mal-intent.

Right, like you don't go to harm. I need to see this because she's saying it's more like what Rachel said where she was rendered immobile. Like grabbed the feet and was tickling. What the fuck was going on?

The way she described it was like she put one arm around the feet. So I'm imagining she's like on the ground and she scoops her arm and then is grabbing her feet. She headlocked her legs.

She headlocked her legs and is tickling me.

If this happens to me, I'm fucking losing it.

I'm running out of the building.

She's like, hell yeah, brother.

Imagine going home and being like, how was your day at work, honey? Like, ah, I got tickled.

A lady grabbed my legs.

And what, in what world?

And tickled me.

Do you see someone like, oh, I have to fix the outlet and go, there's my opportunity to grab her by the leg. That's weird, dude.

I'm gonna start threatening people with that. Like if Spencer's being an asshole,

I'm gonna be like, bro, I'm gonna tickle your feet. But it's like, she had to take her, it's not a situation where they were laughing and playing. It was like, oh shit, I knocked off the power. Let me take off my heels. And I'm like, that's a very vulnerable situation.

And I think it's hard for me to picture because we do such silly stuff on the regular here, right? Not like that. Because we do such silly stuff on the regular here, right? Well, no, but but I'm like this wasn't a silly situation. They're not performing. She's like I'm crawling under my cubicle She's probably not like wearing clothing where she feels comfortable doing that and then someone I'm like, yeah, it kind of is fireable like

Yeah, I don't know how you reconcile this without firing them. How long do you think was the wind up on this? Like she looks over, sees the heels coming off, and is it like a little like-

You see Rachel foaming at the mouth?

Yeah, or is it like she sees and she's like,

all right, finally.

Like, I don't know, how instant was it? Monica was the tickler, Rachel was the one who got tickled. So Monica was the one who saw the feet and was just like, oh, and like had to tickle.

OK, you're Monica in your new job interview. Oh, so I saw you were at Brother and Will's accounting, and you left after two years.

What was that?

Oh, yeah. It was great. I had a great time there. I had to left. It was just this little, you know, I took some steps that they disagreed with as a company. And you know.

Creatively or?

Yeah, it was creative.

I don't think you should have been fired. I think you're doing a great job. Tickle, tickle.

I tickled a coworker so I had to leave.

So what happened was my friend, she kicked off the power and she had to take off her heels to crawl under her desk. I tickled you. She kicked off the power and she had to take off her heels to crawl under her desk. And so I, you know, I think in this industry, when we see opportunities, we have to take them. And so I scooped up her legs with one arm,

like a sailor, and I tickled them. You know, like macho man Randy Savage. And you know, I got her. And then, you know, naturally naturally there was some resentment there.

Like how do you ever get hired again

if you got fired for tickling? You just don't bring that up. Calling up your previous,

like your new company, calling up as a reference. Like, yeah, so why did you end up like parting ways with her?

She tickled the shit out of somebody.

She put someone's legs in a headlock and tickled her you wouldn't believe it She was tickling everyone. I do think I do think it's one of those situations I don't like to use this unless it's like really clear if if Monica was a dude fired like full-on like so she needs to be fired the same way and treated the same way because that that Is a wild yeah, that's a wild thing to. And I think it's because it's tickling, we're being like, oh, it's tickling.

No, it's grabbing someone's body.

It's more like grabbing someone and holding them. I'm like, that's kind of like a very forceful move.

It's very invasive.

So, very clearly, Monica misread their relationship and friendship. No matter how friendly you are with someone there's ground rules right like that's and that's why like I'm sure like you know Romantic relationships in the workplace and and friendships in the workplace. It's like hey, but you just keep those boundaries Yeah, just keep it like hey. We're at work. We don't do that at work. Yeah, even outside of work

I don't think you grab bodies. Yeah, well. Yeah, full kind of I don't think I've ever tickled my friends

I I want to go so far and be like, I think we should stop tickling children when they're born, so we stop tickling as a whole.

You think tickling should be done with?

Yeah.

I would love for someone in the comments to tell me if their life was improved by tickling, because I can't think of anyone who was.

Yeah.

No.

That's a fair, hey. My brother used to tickle me until I couldn't breathe and it was really scary tickling. I think is

Most times that I think of tickling it is a form of bullying when you're a kid yeah I do remember tickling my brother and is hella funny, but

Actually wait a minute

Really high-pitched

TLDR the ass manager responded and here are the main points the manager doesn't know if it's a fireable offense Especially if Monica's had no other problems in the past there needs to be a serious You cannot touch a co-worker ever again, and there will not be another warning conversation However Phoebe the manager needs to sit down and have a talk with Rachel and say that she understands her feelings But we have to keep a professional environment. The reality is if Monica continues to work there,

they can't allow one employee to bully another. Maybe moving desks will help the situation. I've got a pitch. Not a real one, but I've got a funny one. If the manager comes in and goes, okay, this situation, this situation's fucked.

Monica, what the hell were you doing? You tickled, you grabbed Rachel and you tickled her? That's not cool.

I said it would be funny.

Well, it's not cool, but here's the situation. Rachel, you're allowed to tickle Monica at some point, and you do not have to give her warning at any point. So, Monica, watch your back.

When you least expect it. One surprise cubicle. So, Monica, watch your back. One surprise cubicle.

When you least expect it.

I don't know if I'll be able to focus on my work.

Well, you're gonna have to try.

Dang it.

Just standing over the cubicle wall,

like looking down. Like every now and then Monica just turns and just across the way, just Rachel's just like. And like lowers down. She's like. like, and like lowers down. And like, this is like nightmare fuel. But Monica's like in the bathroom

and all of a sudden she just sees like steps like outside the stall. And they just stop and then they just like move again.

They're big red shoes.

Because it's Elmo.

Clout just comes to work dressed as a clout. Oh God, no it's not a real solution

Okay comments. I can't imagine ever wanting to touch my co-workers bare feet you

Someone said Monica should have known better do not touch your co-workers like that But management well and truly fucked up this entire thing from top down if Rachel ended up leaving soon after I'd have fully understood Someone said I'm trying to wrap my brain around why anyone would think even in the most relaxed casual work Environment that it would be okay to engage in a tickling moment with a co-worker Yeah, someone said management really dropped the ball here either fire her Monica outright or apply some authority to manage the situation Yeah It's certainly like their their response makes you not feel safe in that work environment because like I'm

Based on like how OP is writing this and the reactions from coworkers, I'm like, I think if I saw this, I'd be like, oh, this was bad. I think reading it and hearing tickling, it's hard for me not to associate it with me as a kid, with tickling.

I think seeing it would scar me more.

I'm like, I think I would not be able to function. And I'm also thinking about all the insane shit we do here at Smosh, nobody has ever tickled another person here at Smosh. If it wouldn't fly here, then. If it's not flying here, it is not flying in a regular workplace.

I just, yeah, I can't imagine tickling another adult, let alone in the workplace.

I wouldn't be able to look them in the eyes. Like, I just like, ah.

I think it's like, just the word tickle.

Yeah.

For sure. It's the finger movement too. The fact that this is the primary motion for tickling.

It really is like the creepiest thing that we, the creepiest thing that we societally like, aren't looking down upon enough.

It's kind of f***ing crazy.

Yeah. It is.

Yeah. Update. Five months later.

Whoa.

We get an update?

On the tickle?

On the tickle story.

This is f***ing rad.

First and foremost, I want to thank you for taking the time to craft a thoughtful response to my letter. Monica, the tickler, left the company last week. I don't know all the details, but I reached out and she said that she and management came to an understanding, but wouldn't say more and I didn't push. She was a middle child in a large family that showed a lot of physical affection, and tickling wasn't something vicious or mean as far as she was concerned, and it was probably that

background that contributed to her lack of judgment I won't make excuses for her actions But I really feel bad for her and hope she finds another position and that she can learn from her mistake instead of being punished For it further She is clearly an extrovert and feeling cut off from people and caught in an atmosphere of hostility and isolation Really affected her though how much pressure was from Rachel and how much, if any, came from higher-ups, I couldn't say. I offered to have coffee and catch up, and if she takes me up on that, I might have more

info in the future. As for Rachel, once Monica was gone, some of my coworkers expected her to gloat or strut around, but she's been awfully subdued. She doesn't talk much about anything except work, even inconse consequential things. Perhaps that will change, but it's as if she didn't know how to react once she got what she wanted. As far as I know, our manager never confronted her, though I won't swear to that.

Things seem to be getting back to normal otherwise. Our boss brought some treats, and we did a couple of fun group exercises, and people have relaxed a bit. Still, I'm wary of how quickly things can get deeply uncomfortable. Thank you again for your time and your advice.

I'm sorry, but the beginning of that is so,

like Monica the tickler. It's like a Dark Souls boss. It's like Molog the bloodthirsty. It's like Monica the tickler. Monica tickler of feet. Like, oh God.

So Rachel was feeling weird when Monica left?

Yeah, it's just kind of like, oh, wow, she's gone. Because you have to feel, I would assume, no matter how justified it is, you have to feel weird that someone got fired.

Got fired for that. And you kind of feel responsible, but you were just there.

That's hard. It's also tough. It's got to be a weird situation when, whether she left the company because of the situation or she was fired or whatever That it was a one-time situation and it just you know cuz like if someone's doing a pattern behavior It's like oh, this is who they are and they are doing this and I she's a tip I want them gone, but it's like this one-time thing. It's got to be like I would feel I know I'm not saying is right or wrong. I would feel guilty. I'm like oh this one-time slip-up no matter how wild it was

but Still it happened. It's like clearly the Workplace cannot get past it. Yeah, and then your boss is like I brought cookies like I brought cookies Man what a it's these situations that just ride the fence on things you've never heard It's literally Sesame Street. It is Sesame Street Cookie Monster Elmo Cookie Monster Elmo. What's a treats, right?

He brought a treat or something. I guess cookies. Yeah

Or like cookies

slices of apples I

Would love that. Hey, yeah as a slice the count slice apple slices

account Yeah, as a slice. The count? Slice. Apple slices. The count?

The count?

The count, dude. Yeah.

Another one. Maybe it's an accounting firm.

Our next story also comes from Ask a Manager. My employees played a horrible prank on a co-worker. What do I do now?

Okay.

I'm writing seeking advice as to how I, as as a manager can handle the aftermath of a joke gone wrong The joke never should have been played in the first place, but that ship has sailed I managed four reports and two of them made another think $50,000 had gone missing and she was being arrested for stealing it. My other report was not involved at all They went so far as to get one of their wives to pretend to be a police officer there for the arrest The one who was accused wept so hard she vomited she was adamant

She didn't do it and asked to phone someone to go stay with her sick mother while she was in custody It was only then she was let in on the joke She has not returned since it happened and will not answer calls or letters I am furious their joke was unacceptable, and if I had known what they were planning I would have shut it down I don't have the power to fire them or I would have already I have no clue what they were thinking They say it was intended to be hilarious not mean

I don't know of any trouble before this and all of my reports seem to get along The one that played the joke on has only worked here for a few months and is fresh out of school, while my other three reports have worked here for anywhere between six to nine years and have all been on this team for over five years.

Oh my God. That is so awful. Hey, we're gonna play a prank on you where we ruin your life.

Yeah, we're gonna convince you that your life is ending.

Impersonating a federal officer?

Yeah, that is a crime.

They did commit a crime.

They did commit a crime. This is. Hey, what's what we say on every episode where we have a prank? What is a prank? What the hell is this and

what's it for?

Especially cuz they don't even know him that well. Like this is not, I'm like, okay, if you did it on someone you've worked with for five years. Yeah. I'm like okay if you did it on like someone you've worked with her five years Yeah, there's a little more like oh you understand each other you understand their sense of humor

This is someone brand new and you all pulled a prank where the really so sad This is like hazing you know and like a really extreme awful like yeah, it's it's also the the thing where you know Because you do you think it's real at first like okay, so she really legitimately experienced Being told that she embezzled fifty thousand dollars and is about to go to jail like that's a real experience She has then she's told it's a prank, but in her brain that was still real So she cried so hard she vomited you can't just be like oh

You guys got me. It's like no your body's still going through that shock. Yeah, no, I feel like especially, you gotta have a sense of maybe in the moment figuring out that it's not, because I mean, they let it go on long enough

that she called someone to take care of her mother. Yeah, what stage of this prank is, are you?

Do you go like, huh, like what? When she barfs? Like what are you? Or when she starts sobbing that much, I think you have to be like, okay, reading the room here, maybe we let her know.

Yeah, someone did show up. The wife showed up for the arrest. And stealing $50,000, that's a felony. Like a massive felony. You're not like talking like a small little crime. This isn't like, oh, you got a parking ticket, ha ha, psych. It's like, no, you're going to prison, damn.

This isn't funny.

No, most pranks aren't. We have not read a prank on this show that I thought was funny. They've all been just, hey, an awful thing is happening to you.

It's just not good.

Like, what the f*** are you doing? That makes me like, oh my God, I can't imagine. Because it seems like, yeah, this is like her first job. Yeah. Kind of in this industry or whatever. Like, very new. Yeah.

Probably very excited to be, you know.

I'd rather have someone rip off my cowboy boots and tickle my feet than be told that I've stolen $50,000 and the police are here to arrest me. But honestly, at the end of the day,

if you even make a joke about it.

If you reach your hand out, I.

Trevor, don't.

Oh no, oh no.

Oh, they're falling off.

But I'll say, about the tickling and about this, it's not mutually fun for both parties. It's only fun for one. this. It's not mutually fun for both parties. It's only fun for one.

Yeah.

It's not.

Like why are you getting enjoyment out of this? Like why are you getting enjoyment out of like telling someone their life is over?

How bored do you have to be in your freaking life to make someone cry so hard they vomit?

In the name of fun. It's a person you don't know that well too.

Go home. Read a book.

Comments.

Comments.

Yeah, I got the part where she was pleading for time to make arrangements for someone to take care of her mom and just lost it. There aren't enough adjectives in the dictionary to cover this one, but I agree with everyone that's been used in this thread. This was vicious, heartless, sociopathic torture. Someone said, impersonating a police officer is a class A misdemeanor in my state. In some states, it's a felony.

Either way, the fake officer could be subject to fines, jail time, or both. Wonder if your team member's wife has some spare time, a lot of cash, and a good lawyer, because your former employee has at least two of those things. But someone replied to that saying, but the employee can't prosecute anyone for impersonation of an officer all she can do is make a police report But most jurisdictions I know would not prosecute someone for this

Someone said every time I think an office prank story can't be topped. There's a new letter I used to think the guy who locked a co-worker on a balcony was the worst This is like 1,000 times meaner than that I hope the OP can get rid of these people and figure out how to do the right thing by the harmed employee. Horrible. The OP that's writing this as a manager said they don't have the ability to fire these people but they certainly have the ability to talk to someone who has the ability to fire them or figure out something because this is so bad that this employee is going

to be scarred forever. Update. One day later. The incident had happened almost three weeks before I sent in my question Because there was speculation on the possible dynamics in several of the comments all three persons involved both pranksters and the pranky are women The pranksters are both in their late 20s and the pranky is in her mid 30s One of the pranksters is the same ethnicity as me Chinese American and the other prankster and the pranky are both white

One of the pranksters is gay the other prankster and the pranky are not as far as I Am aware myself and the three of them are all the same religion Anglican lot of information Here's our addresses and our social security Clearly in the previous red thread people were probably asking for like is there cause for discrimination like what's the dynamics? Yeah, so clearly that's not seeming to be pointing towards that.

The only difference is, Cranky is new, slightly older, other people have been working there for years. My other report was on a two-week vacation at the time, and he had no knowledge of or part in the prank. There were no other witnesses besides my three reports. The wife who said they were a police officer there to arrest the employee was not wearing any kind of uniform and she didn't enter the building

She was standing by her navy blue car outside the building on the public street The pranksters gestured to her out the window when they told the pranky she was police and she gestured for the pranky to come outside She never spoke to the pranky. So this prank happened in the office They had someone's wife drove to their place of work to just stand outside the amount of effort

How does not a single person like sit down for a second and be like is this a good idea?

Yeah, we don't have to do this. Yeah our date

We can have a normal last day like what if instead of driving to my workplace. We've got I don't know ice cream or something

Dude ice cream sauce your wife Dude, ice cream sounds awesome.

Your wife has a day off. Your wife is chillin'. Like, let her go to the beach. You're having her drive to your place of work to stand there? Your unemployed friend on a Tuesday.

Yeah.

Since she never dressed as or told anyone she was an officer, there's no way she can be charged with impersonation. The officers at the real police station I went to the lawyer I spoke to about this and the company lawyer looked at me Like I had two heads when I brought up impersonation charges They all agreed what happened was awful But the wife of the prankster did nothing illegal and the prankster pointing at her once and saying she was an officer also is not illegal

The pranky was also never handcuffed touched taken anywhere or stopped from leaving So no crime was committed there as per the police and the lawyers My reports don't have access to money to steal making the theft allegation part of the prank baffling But I understand why the prank he was scared given how new she was to our workplace We don't deal with money in our work. We work in the compensation and benefits section of HR We tell employees what benefits and other compensations they are entitled to they work in HR

They work in HR which does add a layer to the rich We do not have any parts in administering these benefits And we don't work with the books accounts or payroll all of that is done out of a different office My boss the executive director and our legal division know what happened multiple voicemails and letters to the prankee from me, the director, and legal have gone unanswered and the letters were marked as return to sender.

Her LinkedIn profile shows the job she had before and when she was in school, the school she went to, and a current job that is with another company. The company I work for is not mentioned on her profile anywhere and anyone from the company who tries to reach out is not responded to I have accepted She wants to be left alone and the company lawyer advised all contact attempts to cease the executive directors idea of disciplining my reports was to give them a talking to

Lecture and to send a memo division-wide saying no pranks of any kind are permitted at work without giving context since no one else knows What happened I am going to resign I wasn't sure at first but the more I found out about what happened the more angry I got I was also angry about not Being able to fire the pranksters. I promised my other report a good reference if he ever needs it because he didn't do anything I was not sure about resigning without another job offer But my girlfriend told me I would feel better if I did and we could make it work on her income until I found one.

So I made the decision to leave. I appreciate your answer to my question, Allison. I am grateful to you and see I am not wrong to be angry at what happened. Thanks so much.

Wow.

Wow, so bad. They're like, I'm going. But it is also, you see something that bad happen and you see no action taken. You're like, well, I'm not safe here. Like, if something bad happens to me at this job, I'm on my own, so I should get out of here.

Especially the people that report to you. You now have to tell these people what to do and work with them on a regular basis. And it's like, you just know that they're awful, like that they just did this awful thing and you're never gonna be able to look at them without thinking of that. Right, oof, wow.

I'm glad OP is even taking care of themselves. Like, it just, like, yeah, in an environment like that, it's not good for you.

No. Well, dang, that's it, no more updates. Okay, time for our final story. Ooh, and this comes from Malicious Compliance, which I love. I love some Malicious Compliance. It's the best.

You demanded my entire team be at the office for the 4th of July. Fine, enjoy paying for the office party. Hell yeah.

Okay.

Little warning up front. If you haven't eaten, this story is going to make you hungry.

I haven't eaten. I haven't eaten. I haven't eaten this story is going to make you hungry Haven't I haven't eaten I mean lunch is after this I was gonna say what a crazy thing to read right before lunch

So this starts on Monday the 13th of June as I receive an email from a VP not over in my department our bad VP I am told that my team will be required on the 4th I politely tell them know that our team has been scheduled this day off and people already have plans. My team is the IT team and as many of you know, the IT team gets shafted every time

it can get shafted by any company. So over the course of the week, I let my team know what is happening. I let them know I have been reaching out to higher ups to fix it. I also tell them that if their plans are ruined, I will make it right at work. Over the course of three meetings,

it starts to look like things will not go my way. In response, I sent an email to the CEO of the company. All of my higher-ups knew I was going to do this and said I should do this as he is very family-oriented and that he would not allow anyone to work on a national holiday. Well, he is on vacation in the Bahamas until the 6th.

But his assistant informed me he would look at this after he gets back, repeatedly slams head into desk. So I tell everyone that it will be work from home and that we will be setting my cell phone

as priority in the call routing. Meaning I would get most of the calls. To be honest, I was expecting almost zero calls. Especially since I was asked to send out a notification that IT support would cover the 4th of July. I never sent that email out.

A day later, I was given another outrage. I was told in an email that my employees would be required to be at the office and no one was allowed to work from home. They would be checking the door badge ins to verify we were at the office. I asked why in an email and they said that they wanted to make sure no one was playing video games at work.

We normally work from home about two thirds of the week, and video game playing is a normal occurrence at work.

Hell yeah.

Us too.

Hey, been there.

So I walked-

Hey, been there.

So I walked into the person's office after a very long conversation where she was losing the logic war with me. She told me that it's just IT you guys don't have lives That's a vice president The vice president told him it's just IT you guys don't have lives No, I am NOT kidding you this is exactly what they told me

I reported this to my VP who said I will take care of this It likely won't be until after the fourth so get creative. I know this to my VP who said I will take care of this it likely won't be until after the fourth so get creative I know this man. Well. We have worked together a long time and get creative is code for corporate. I Asked the people I did it. Yeah, I Asked the person requiring us to be at the office if they cared if we had an office party They said no as long as it did not interfere with the call flow

They even suggested using my new company card to pay for it. Go wild, pro tip, never tell me to go wild. At this point, it was Tuesday the 21st. I let everyone know what's up, but that I have something planned. I asked who had things planned for that day.

Two people told me they were planning to shoot off fireworks with their family, but the rest were planning barbecues with friends. I write up an email to the VP over my department and the bad VP. I tell them all that I let everyone know. We all were expected to work until 8 p.m. Monday. Per the conversation with the bad VP,

I will be having an office party as a sort of sorry to the guys and gals who got shafted by this decision. The bad VP replied again. Thank you for your understanding. Also, yes, I would expect an office party if I had to work on the 4th of July as well.

So-

Go f*** yourself.

So go wild and enjoy your time. Use your new company credit card if you need to cover a few expenses. Also, I should not have to remind you or anyone else, no fireworks or alcohol on company property. So now it is time to tell you about my office.

See, a while back back the IT team was moved from the main corp office and into a smaller building by itself. It has a nice gaming break room, a decent-sized gym, and a full-on drink bar. Soft drinks, mind you, no alcohol at work. Out back is a big patio that crosses county lines as soon as you cross a small creek. A creek that just so happens to have a footbridge over it, leading to an empty field. I start making phone calls. Perfect for fireworks. Perfect. Monday, June the 25th, I call everyone into an hour early meeting that morning.

I explain to them all that I will be making it right. I ask everyone to invite their friends and family to the office. No supplies will need to be brought by anyone. I tell them that this will be non-alcoholic, but that I will be planning something for everyone. I will be planning something for everyone I told them to expect all food to be provided and they don't need to bring anything unless they want to bring some fireworks IE they won't have to spend a dime the fourth comes and the entire day. We did absolutely no work

No tickets no calls came in well seven calls did come in but from the same person the bad VP She was calling to make sure we were manning the phones. All of us were playing video games or watching movies. 6 p.m. rolls around and everyone was told that the food was ready. People were expecting hot dogs, hamburgers, maybe a bratwurst or two. What they got was a full-on barbecue feast

with pizza and other foods. There was smoked brisket, spare ribs, smoked sausage, smoked turkey, both kinds of tater salad, coleslaw, Green beans with bacon and onion potatoes are grotten. Yes the original potato chip pizza from two different places Excellent hamburgers and bratwurst hot dogs on the dessert side was cake very good cookies Four different kinds of pie and about two pounds of fudge

Families and friends started showing up at around 6 to 6 15 ish some brought alcohol But I told them they would need to leave that in their cars as I was not that crazy Some were not too happy about that, but agreed as it was free dinner for random strangers So let me set the scene for you I am out there with all calls routed to my cell phone and everyone is just having a good time We have a ton of people there just enjoying the fun night chatting about random stuff eating the food and occasionally lighting off some sparklers or throwing firecrackers into the stream. It's not stocked and only one foot deep my VP

Not the bad VP mind you showed up with his family and brought some water balloons for the kids and man children around 830 It's getting dark and people want to shoot off more than the simple sparklers and fireworks We had been using the VP over the IT department had everyone cross the footbridge Over County line and off-company property mind you and we set up a big wooden board using it as our Launchpad we fired off what we had for an hour or two and sort of just hung out for a little while at around This time people were tired and ready to go home

I told people to take home leftovers within reason we all clocked out at 8 and no one left until about 10 30 p.m. The bad VP did call once more while we were out back at the party. It was 7.50 and she called asking for a status update. My exact words were, well, you were the only one to call us today. The rest of us are on the back patio enjoying the 4th of July shindig. She simply acted like my boss and said, as long as no alcohol or fireworks are on company

property I do not care. We ate roughly half of the food catered, the rest was taken home. A small group volunteered to stay behind to clean up, including my VP. We had a funny conversation about how this will make waves with the bosses, but he said he had my back and asked how much this would cost. I just gave him a sideways look, which made him laugh. Tuesday morning, I submitted the expense report to my VP this email would inevitably make its way over to the bad VP and up the chain to

The CIO of the company it would be a bad idea to give out the exact cost of the party mind you But I can tell you that because of this 4th of July party new rules were put into place Any expenses of over four thousand dollars or more must be approved by the direct supervisor VP over the department and the full expense report must be sent to the financial supervisor, BP over the department, and the full expense report must be sent to the financial department for review after the fact.

4,000, pretty good.

That's pretty good.

Hint, the party cost over $6,000.

Holy shit.

And no alcohol?

The barbecue was the most expensive part. I did not order from a low- or mid-tier place. The place I ordered from has consistently been on the top 10 in the DFW listing for the last 30 years.

That is Dallas Fort Worth.

Oh, is Texas barbecue?

This is Texas barbecue. I ate at that place so much I made friends with the owner. The best barbecue I've ever had. The pies and cakes were custom made by a bakery and the cookies were made by a boutique cookie place. I had 10 12 packs of Coke, Coke Zero. Pepper dr. Pepper zero Pepsi and Pepsi zero I bought five pepperoni five sausage five cheese two Hawaiian

55 tacos And three cheeseburger pizzas from one place and nearly the same number from another place Excluding the cheeseburger ones I subbed out those for a different specialty pizza from the other place The burgers were from an excellent burger place that did catering. I know that owner well. He brought his kids for the night of fun after he heard what was going to be happening.

He was also the one who brought the brat dogs as he recently added those to his menu. This was the most expensive office party in the history of the company. The only things more expensive than this were some business meetings that the CEO rented private rooms in high-end restaurants for as For the CEO he was outraged not at the cost of the party mind you he knew that the party would not have been necessary If people had been allowed to go home

He was outraged that IT was the only group required to work on that day When I submitted the log showing how we received no real phone calls No service requests, and that we basically watched movies-slash-played video games during our shift, he had heard enough. He apparently sent out a scathing email about work-life balance and the importance of our

holidays to every upper management. It was kind of funny as people wanted me to get in trouble for what I did, but the reality is other departments have done similar things in the past, just not on the scale that IT did it. The bad VP was admonished quite effectively and sent me an apology email. I forwarded it to the team with a strong hint to not reply.

Then my VP let the CIO and the CEO know what the bad VP said. You guys don't have lives. The bad VP did actually confirm she said it in a meeting with her EVP. It did not go over well I have never heard people yelling in an office meeting like that before The CEO of the company came to our office and yelled at her not sure if she was fired But she is not at work today in active directory. She does not have the down arrow of death

So not 100% what happened to her? I know she lost whatever clout she had at this company with her attitude. If anything more happens, I will update. But so far, it looks like the fallout from this is that I caused a new rule to be put in place about how much you are allowed to spend at one time. The bad VP may or may not be let go slash forced to resign.

I know she got yelled at. Strangely, there is now no longer any pushback for my bid to get everyone back to working from home. Edit, please stop asking me where the restaurants are. I'm not doxing myself.

Oh my God.

Outstanding work, outstanding.

That was a book.

Yeah.

And you killed that.

Oh my God.

Wait, so that kind of worked out well on all fronts.

Perfectly, yeah. That was, yeah, that was spectacular. Kind of like zero consequences for that,

which is pretty awesome.

This, I mean, this does walk that revenge line we were talking about, right? Where you're like, there is some revenge here.

This is, malicious compliance is this weird thing where it's like, all right, you're telling us to, this I kind of have no problem with, because I'm like, you're, this, this, this VP clearly like, this is just fun for her that she gets to have power over people. The fact that she's calling seven times just to be like, you're at work,

you guys are at work, insane. Why do you care so much?

Like. Checking the badge, check in, like the log, insane.

She's freaking out because she knows what she did was wrong. And so she needs to make sure they're there for a reason. This was a power trip.

I don't know any other explanation other than it's a power trip. Yes. Like you're calling at 7.50 PM to get a status report just to make sure they're still at work when you know they've received no calls that day. I'm like, you just wanted to send them on their way. I'm like, what barbecue'm losing my 4th of July worth throwing a party like we're taking word We're following the rules. This is being resourceful. Yeah

Six grand incredible over six grand on on the food and And drinks alone no alcohol. I know that's a lot of where you rate like rack. Yeah prices

Yeah, the menu sounded a little bit like a Mr. Beast video. Yeah.

100 pizzas. No.

50.

Truly silly levels. It must have been a rager.

Yeah.

There had to have been so many people there though, because I mean, how many, did it say how many people were in the department?

There was like.

I don't know, but they have their own building. Yeah, they have their own building, And like a bunch of friends and family like being invited like even the chefs bringing in their kids come on The fact that restaurants were like whoa we're going to yeah, and then only eating half the food

Yeah, like that they had to have been so

Texas barbecue like what are you doing this July 4th? I'm hanging out a bunch of IT people they party hard

Yeah, and there's that not even alcohol there. Yeah, and it's gonna be a rager There's Pepsi zero Pepsi diet Pepsi zero vanilla coke Comments can I work for you? This is being magical Someone said everyone wants a day off to spend time with friends and family relaxing I'm in IT and spend most of my time on the computer at work and at home I still had the 4th of July off and spent the day hiking and just enjoying life to its fullest Everyone deserves to be treated with respect full stop

We all have lives outside of work Just because I enjoy video games doesn't make my time worth less than someone who enjoys watching football Opie mad respect for how you handled that Someone said this is how to be a manager have your teams back I just wrote in my annual review how much it means to me that my manager takes my physical and mental health seriously Tell him I can be reached by phone on vacation

No You cannot direct anyone who bugs you to me feeling burnt out from debugging assembly code and binary data files for most of the day Maybe you should take a walk for the rest of the day. It's not good to be sitting too long You know it genuinely makes me feel okay to say yes to new projects and to keep pushing and expanding my expertise I love my job and my manager is a huge part of that. Yeah, I mean the VP is a bad VP, not because they're just being a bad person,

but also they cost the company money and they're absolutely killing motivation.

Yeah.

Like they're doing bad things by business standards too.

Yeah.

And telling you like, oh, IT people don't have lives. Like that's a crazy thing to say. What do you expect to happen? Yeah. What do you expect to happen there? Your IT department is one that you need

to like be on their A game. Yeah. Yeah. Our IT team rocks, we have two people, Lopati and Tim. They're the shit. Yeah, if they stopped working here, nothing would happen. The building would blow up. The building would blow up.

There is a bomb that they have to keep defusing every day.

Yeah.

My favorite is when Tim's on set and you're like, oh, there's a slideshow in the programming.

Hell yeah, there's gonna be a transformer in this one.

Yeah.

Yeah, IT departments are huge for what we do. Anyways, that's it.

Crazy group stories.

Dude, we should throw a $6,000 party.

Yeah.

Okay.

I won't do it without alcohol.

I don't care how much barbecue there is.

We understand.

There's no alcohol.

Not really a meat guy. For Texas barbecue, I don't need alcohol. If you tell me there's gonna be a bunch of Texas barbecue somewhere, I'm like, I'll show up. See, I'm like... Have you had, like, genuine Texas barbecue? I don't think so. Oh, dude, it's a game changer. Really?

It is a full game changer. I, luckily, the last time I had Texas barbecue, I was in Austin, and I was with Mythical Chef Josh. Yeah. And he ordered everything on the menu. And he like, of course, like he orders everything.

We eat everything. And then he's also like, oh yeah, the chef is letting us come back and check out the barbecue.

Yeah, we like walked into the pit.

Yeah.

It was so cool.

This big tank just in there.

It was amazing.

That's so cool.

No, it's truly like unlike anything. Yeah. It's the best. That beef cheek. Oh my God. You're eating things you've never heard of before.

That beef cheek.

That beef cheek burger. You're just having stuff that you're like, I guess I'm gonna eat this and it's delicious.

Oh wow.

I can't explain it.

Well, tickle me fancied.

Yeah, I'm not gonna tickle you. Tickle me fancy. but... Let's go to lunch, yeah? Yeah. I am ready for lunch now. I am hungry. And I think I want a Coke Zero. Dude, I could go for a little Pepsi Max right now.

Whoa.

Max?

What's Pepsi Max? All right, Crystal Pepsis for everyone.

Crystal Pepsi.

Thank you both for being here.

Thanks for having us.

Yeah.

Thanks for being good coworkers.

Yeah, thanks. And now I know that I'm not supposed to tickle my coworkers.

So this was educational for me.

I'm glad this happened.

Thank God we did this episode.

Cause I've thought about it before. So I'm glad I didn't do it. I was really close a couple of times. Yeah, well it's not gonna happen now. Yeah, well it's not gonna happen now. So don't worry, don't stress.