THE BIGGEST BESTEST BABY | Baby Steps - Part 5

Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome back to Baby Steps. We just got past a part of the game that probably was a bit of a skill check, but I'm a very skilled individual and I'm not gonna be swayed by something so arbitrary as thus. Wait, which way did I come... Boy, I wish I had a map. I don't know where I would get a map.

Hmm. I don't know where I would get a map. So I have a funny feeling that...

Hold on.

Man, this is gonna be easy to drop, isn't it? I have a funny feeling that I'm not out of the woods by far. Oh man. Oh man. The tendency to throw things when I fall is only a little bit annoying. I need to get used to it.

It's every time I come back to the game, I have a little bit of a stabilizing period so I know exactly the limits of what I can do.

There we go.

See, that's an easy thing. But I have a feeling when I get out of this cave, I'm gonna end up high up on the mountain. And I remember that waterfall of weird white liquid was, um, kind of gently pointing me in a way that could... Oh my god. Oh. Well this isn't that bad. I don't think it is. Just need to move quickly.

Oh, I'm off, I'm off! Okay, that's... that would explain... Alright, that's fine. Stand up.

Okay!

Alright. You're gonna get sucked under that way. Nope, nope, nope. Nope, nope. Oh, oh. Come on! You're gonna get sucked under that way. Almost there, nice and steady. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, easy. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, easy. Oh hey, there's people over there. Oh my god, it's, hi.

Oh, scared of the dark?

Mommy pack you a little lantern?

Okay.

Mommy pack you a lantern?

Oh, he was scared of the dog. Oh, he was scared of the dog. Oh, he was scared of the dog. Oh, he was scared of the dog. Oh, he was so scared.

Okay, you know what? I'm gonna punch you in what I assume is a dick underneath those sensor bars. You know what? Alright, okay, alright. Hee-haw! Is that what it is? Hee-haw? Look, I don't need to take any of this from you.

Alright.

Hey, you got any more of that soup? What I know to be soup?

He is really a little, like a little round baby pudding. A little pudding in his little pajamas.

Ethan!

He really is, uh, like a little baby man.

Hey.

Nathan, we were just talking about you.

Come on up, you made it.

Yeah.

We've done a man's job.

Yeah, yeah, I'm a man. Let's give him a round of applause, boys.

Yeah, hey.

Yeah.

I like the baby bottles.

It's time for the toast.

Come on, mate, stick out your paw! Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, I'll do the toast. I can do it.

No, I won't do it.

Oh, okay.

To always being happy.

And never being glum.

Never be glum.

And here's to Nathan D and his darling strum.

To strum!

To strum! To strum. his darling strumpet. Oh. To scrum!

Yeah, to scrum.

But all joking aside, Nathan, I've been promising the boys that you'll hook us up with some cigarettes for smoking.

Yeah, yeah, I was gonna, I was thinking about, maybe I will start smoking too.

The wish room's just up these stairs. Oh, really? Angel at the top.

You know what to do, right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Come on right back down. We can help you haul them if there's too many to lift.

Okay.

Yeah, I wish for a couple packs of...

Say more than a couple.

We want like tons and tons of the thing. What do we say boys? Oh yeah. Okay, okay I'm going, I'm going. Uh, I got it. Don't worry. Uh.

Yep, I'll be back in a sec.

Don't worry guys, I got this.

Oh. Alright.

Smokes, smokes.

Everyone loves

smoking.

Well, this doesn't seem so bad. I'm sure that this is definitely okay. Nobody saw that, right? No one saw my embarrassing fall.

Good.

I'm glad. It's a good thing I didn't have to do anything like complicated right to start with this because me coming back to this is not not the greatest. I'm not gonna lie but maybe it's because I just keep trying to go full speed as I go up to a hill. Hmm. Okay. Slow and steady. I keep wanting to look at the statues on the side. That was the only reason I fell.

That was the only reason. Okay. Well, that's something.

Strange.

Uh-huh?

Oh. Oh. Uh, hey. Is this... Are you the angel? Oh. Oh. Hey, are you the angel? You talk?

Listen, they want me to wish for cigarettes, but I gotta go home. Um. Do you, let's, okay. I guess I'm doing it then.

Um.

I wish.

Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I was dead. Oh Nathan, it doesn't work that way I'm afraid. Oh, where are the cigarettes?

I'm sick of this.

I'm sick of this. Hmm.

Onward and upward, you know me. Got more to go, of course. Dead is just a state of mind. I had sneaking suspicion that it was, I don't know, something like that. I knew all along I'm very smart. My huge brain deduced it.

Really no hiding from my enormous nog.

That means my big brain. Alright.

So, I had a feeling because if there was a waterfall of white stuff, then that means that there had to be a source of some kind. And also, did I not wish for anything? That seems silly. That seems just silly. Also, don't I have to climb- am I going- wait, where am I going?

Which way am I going? Am I going up or down? How do I know which way is which whoa this is spooky this would be the perfect time for like a jump scare or something, but they wouldn't do that to me. I'm too handsome for that. Kind of? Maybe? Huh. That seems to go kind of a tight spiral up a little bit. Ow, my head.

I mean, I guess I've fallen from precipitous heights, and so that didn't seem to do anything. Anyway. at its heights and so that didn't seem to do anything. Anyway, dead makes sense. The whole falling down and not dying thing is, you know, not the only thing that's weird about this place. The constant need to go to the bathroom and yet I still haven't gone for days. I think that's actually impossible. So, the only place where impossible things happen are our dreams or our death, I guess.

Maybe. I don't know, unless that's the only thing that really is possible, because, you know, we're dead. Uh... I don't know if I can go up there. But it does seem like an option. But why would I?

Hmm.

I don't know you don't take the path most traveled for now until proven otherwise There we go. No problem for me. Okay, controlling the camera and doing this at the same time is still difficult as it always has been. Okay, not a big deal. Okay... This is a little precarious.

Uh...

L-left? Hm. Left? Huh. Come on. There we go. I don't know where I'm climbing to.

I don't know where that is. I'm not sure where I'm going. I'm not sure where I'm going. I'm not sure where I'm going. I'm not sure where I'm climbing to.

I don't know where that goes, but down is not the options that I've been taking so far, so up is the way that I think I'll point myself. Oh, God. Whoa. Easy there. Easy there. It's mostly muscle memory by now, but at certain points I have to manually think about what foot I'm on, and that'll throw me off. Ooh. That's a low-hanging ceiling here, but otherwise this hasn't been too bad. I know in the last part, if I had slid, I would have fallen down to the beginning, but otherwise this hasn't been too bad I know in the last part if I had slid I would have fallen down to the beginning But even then it's not that far

So the stakes are not as high as I imagine they will be once I'm out of this place. That would be nuts If I was set up in a way that I could I really worried about that waterfall That's that's really the main thing that I'm worried about is the waterfall of white. It does seem to... Because I will rocket down that thing with lots of momentum if I slide down it. The camera, Very difficult there. That's probably... I need to remember to do it on the correct side of the side that I'm facing.

The Trials and Tribulation with which I am moving. Little narrow, but I don't want to fight the hill. I just want to plant where I can. When I can... make big strides when I want to get some good footing. There we go.

Awfully quiet. Except for the rattling of my lantern, I'm assuming that's what that is. Even if I was here and actually controlling my feet normally, I would find this difficult terrain to navigate. This is basically just compressed sand. And uh, that's not the most- Oh, I bet that falls all the way to the bottom.

Alright. Where am I?

Okay. Whoa! Careful, buddy. Careful, buddy. Going a little fast, I know. Well, that is a gap. Damn it.

I knew they'd do something like this, but still not the worst thing I've ever experienced.

That's a long gap. But still not the worst thing I've ever experienced.

That's a long gap. That's gonna need some precision. It's like that temple where I get the frog hat.

Oh shit!

Oh god, there I go. Motherfucker. Knew that would happen. I think I didn't get my foot far enough on that gap. I wonder if this was a test of it. You can get your foot pretty far forward and pull yourself up. I've done it before.

I think my only problem was I didn't get my foot far enough out so that I could Plant without sliding the little bit. I only got my barely my toes on the edge of it And so that's what happened there and here I am again. So really not that bad Okay, but I think I'm in the right spot for this make sure Properly planted here and properly aimed there. Easy.

Okay. I wonder in the level design when they were making this game how precise they had to be for almost every angle of the walkable surfaces because this is... Whoa. What am I looking at? Oh, that's not so bad.

Because every single level has kind of zones where I'm- I look at them and I'm like, Mm-hmm, man, I think I can make that. And sometimes- it's like 50-50 on whether I can or cannot. And this is dicey. A little bit anyway.

Oof.

It's not so bad. I just gotta keep moving this... ...way.

Yep.

Yep, yep, yep. Easy.

And they're doing it again.

Alright.

It's not so bad. Yeah, not so bad. It's a little steeper, actually. Here we go. Not so bad.

Ugh!

But every single moment in this game, I am tenser than I've been in a while. God. The further I go up in the spiral, the more I have to admit that it's gonna be a fuckin' journey to get back. But it's all still basically the same. Oh, fuck me. Is that gonna- oh yeah, it's narrowing up. And it's all slanted. Oh, still not that bad. Okay, still not that bad.

It is narrow. It is slanted. But it's still- Oof, careful with the arm there, buddy. It's still relatively okay.

Ow.

Wait. Is that gonna be a problem? I don't know. It might push me I guess. Oh my god. Is this a problem? God I hope not. Nope! Good. Thank you. All right. Oh I'm hearing some bird noises. Means I might be getting out of off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off D'oh. Huh. What's all- whoa. Why we gotta do the spooky lighting?

Uh-huh?

Hey.

I guess I'm done with that. Don't need it anymore.

I've got the-

Huh?

I'm- I'm looking?

Wha? What's up?

Uh-oh. We're in PT zone. Honey, I'll be just a minute. Dinner's in the oven.

Uh-huh.

Oh, I'm wide. Oh, I'm up. What the fuck?

Yes, is this the fiance that I mentioned once? I believe I mentioned a fiance at some point. Sounds like daddy's home. Nate, come on in here. Kyle has something to show you.

Oh, a child. Papa's here, I think.

Daddy, I cut my finger.

Can you get me a bandaid?

Sounds like a child to me, definitely a child. Child. Nate, I can't hear you. Oops, can't hear me what? Sounds like a child to me, definitely a child. Child!

Nita, I can't hear you.

Oops. Can't hear me what? When did some demon come out?

Nita, is that you?

Yeah. Oh, fuck.

Ow.

Okay. Huh. Alright.

Well, that was weird. Hey, look, a pink light. Oh, another one. Almost like the tops of radio towers, almost like we're not actually close to being done with this at all.

Huh.

Nice fire, no soup. Oh.

Hello.

Yeah, it's for the best.

Oh.

Onward and upward. Hey, I got through that section pretty fast. I don't know if that was supposed to be that quick. Oh, God. What is that?

Oh, hey, you're up.

Oh, hey.

Hey, Moose.

How's it going? Yeah, good morning. I'm just a little surprised to see you out here. Yeah, oh, because of the... Yeah, the wish. Yeah, no, I decided I was going to wish to save the whales.

Oh. I'm passionate about whales. Oh yeah, me too. Yeah, it's funny, I was going to wish to go home too. Yeah? When it came down to it, I just...

couldn't go back there.

Oh, why not?

Oh, you know, uh...

was miserable and hated myself and felt ashamed. Oh, yeah, just normal, normal reasons. Yeah, yeah, normal reasons. Yeah, no, I mean, the same. I, uh, same. But, uh, it wasn't all bad. Uh, you know, at least in my hometown they had ice cream.

Oh, yeah, well, it's actually been kind of nice to have a break from the ice cream for me.

Yeah, it's a little awkward, to be honest. Why, why, what?

Because I brought you this ice cream to cheer you up.

Oh...

Ice cream? I would... I mean... I'm... No, no, I should just throw it away. No, I... I... uh... Yeah, you don't want this. This is a reminder of bad times. No, I... actually... it would be gonna be discordant with your mood. No, it might change that It's cold

Ice-cream buddy

No

What are you gonna do now though? You can't go home. Well, you know lately I've been working on this cabin up in the mountains Oh, it's cozy. Oh, you know, lately I've been working on this cabin up in the mountains. Oh, it's cozy?

Oh yeah, it's getting there.

Hmm.

What are you gonna do?

Uh...

I don't know.

I was gonna ask... Hey, Andy!

Come back here with that axe!

I told you a thousand times!

But where's the bathroom?

There's no bathroom around here, mate.

You're outside, just go behind a bush.

I could go behind a bush. There is a bush over there and I'm looking at that bush. I'm gonna go- that's not a bush, that's a tree. Hey, there's no bushes! Hey, where's the bush, man? Okay, let's get a lay of this land. I see-

Whaaat am I actually looking at over there?

That's weird.

Huh.

I think that forestry tower has grown legs. And they've splayed out. And it's trying to escape. I see something far in the distance to the left. Ahhhh, I see sheep is over there and I see a sign saying Something's to the left. I don't know what though and

Thankfully, I do not see the mountain of white, but I have a funny feeling if I go to the ledge over there I might actually see it. So I'm not gonna I'm gonna do my best to not do any of that What is this the shadow of? It looks like a knight che- OH MY GOD.

Dude.

Alright, I'll go this way then. It looks like a knight's chest piece but with a weirder wig or mask. Not actually sure what to make of that. Alright, I've forgotten how to walk. The National No Touching Sculpture Walk. That's as good as any I've seen so...

I'll do the National No Touching Sculpture Walk. That's an interesting thingamabob. No time for that! We gotta go to the National No Touching Sculpture Walk. I have a funny feeling, harkening back to the second episode of this, or whatever it was, where I noticed that it seemed like I had looped. I actually have a funny feeling that this does loop.

Is that a fruit?

I see a fruit!

How do I get to that fruit? Okay, so there's a place where I can get up on the wall, supposedly, would be my guess, and then I need to walk along the wall until I get over to the part of the wall that that tree is growing over, but it's on the far side, so wherever I find my way onto the wall, which this might actually be a good spot. Yep, weirdly enough. I need to then go all the way around.

Whoa.

And walk all the way around, wrapping that way until I get over to that piece of the wall. There. that way until I get over to that piece of the wall... there. If I'm not mistaken. There might also be another way on top of the wall, but if I'm already here, it makes it a little easier. I don't know what the benefit of the apples is besides maybe an achievement, I guess. I don't even know if I get an achievement for it. I think it's just good apple. I get to watch Nathan eat it up close and personal. This is really a cathartic experience for everyone, including myself.

Oh my god! Holy shit.

Oh my god, I saved it. Holy fuck, I saved that. Where's my other foot? Oh my god. I cannot believe I saved that. Holy shit.

Where am I?

Ah! So so wait. Oh Fuck oh god, damn it. Oh god Damn it. I just needed to go the other oh my god Let's see it through let's make sure that that hypothesis is correct, but oh my god. Are you kidding me?

I went the long way around for nothing! Oh, no, this actually was the correct path. Oh wait. Good thing I didn't hop off! Wow. God, thank goodness I didn't.

Fuck, I almost went the wrong way.

Alright.

Ooh, is that a pomegranate? Oh yeah, it smells good. Oh yeah. Oh, getting a couple of arils. Yes, that was so good and sour and now I am stained with a color of yummy.

Yes, pomegranate!

All right, man. Hell yeah. You know what, I love that for you. Nathan, you're a good dude. I wish I could enjoy a simple fruit like Nathan does here. You know, there's no one really that is teaching me more about loving life in the moment than

this guy here. It's really a human game that really accentuates the experience of being human. So I think that we have a lot to learn from this guy here. And his... Honestly, fashionable onesie.

Shit!

Oops.

What's with the cans? What's with those goddamn cans? What's with the cans? Do I just those goddamn cans? What's with the cans? Do I just need to climb up and... I don't think I can climb up that.

How...

How...

How is that possible?

I don't think that's possible.

How would you do that?

Woop! Okay... I don't think that's possible. How would you do that?

Okay, I am eye level with it. If I had a way to jump I could possibly get up there but I don't think I have that. Maybe I could get a foot Maybe over on the right there? Maybe. There's a little grey spot- WHOA!

WHOA, Nathan with that foot!

Oh my god, wait, what? How in the hell? Okay, I'm just gonna- I'm gonna lift up and I'm gonna try to tip over.

Hup!

Awww!

Okay, I don't know how I got any kind of grip on that. That didn't make any sense to me, but okay. Apparently the limits of my ability are only my imagination, but even with that I don't think that there's a way to get up any further. Because like, to get anything else I would have to have both feet on there and then try to wrap around a little more. I don't think that's possible.

Really? I'll never do it again. I'll never do whatever I did before. I don't think I'm ever gonna manage to do it again. I don't know how to do it and I don't really have a strong desire to Okay It's another tree over there. Maybe there's another fruit on it. It's another tiny city It looks like another tiny city and that looks like the red thing. Oh, there's another one over there. I think it loops It has to right? Oh, it doesn't make any sense. Otherwise

It's not like I can go forever in one direction.

Whoa.

Really?! Wow, that is something. Oh, wow. Interesting. I wish I could make, like, kung fu moves or something. Yep.

Good for the hand. Say... Thumbnail! Stop looking like that. Hm. That's pretty good. Oh, really? Wait, what? Am I supposed to go backwards on that? Oh my god. I don't know if I can make those splits. That's... that is quite a splits. Although I don't even know if I'm supposed to make that, but... I mean, I could try to place on both on this, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem. But I don't think I can lift that high. Hmm. Alright, I think we just have to get both feet on this whoa

that's slippy whoa whoa thumbnail put that down whoa all right you just gave up on that one that was not my fault what if I'm facing the other way? This might actually be better for me. Alright, now if I do that... Uh, but... Okay, maybe not. Oh, maybe not!

Maybe not. Hmm. So if I do that... And then I do that... I don't think my leg's gonna want me to- Nope, it's doing it.

Oh my god, the splits here are crazy.

Ah, fuck!

This is not even a requirement. I don't know why I'm thinking I have to. I dunno, this is kind of a fun challenge, I guess. Alright, let me... Scooch this foot... Oh shit, I've committed god I wish I could

fucking see anything definitely can't make that stretch that's pathetic. Okay, I've lost all ability to control my feet.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah, just sit right down on it. Alright, I'm not gonna do this because I'd be there all day and I really must emphasize there is no reason to do it. I can get up here. I can walk up this hill There is absolutely no reason to do any of that. It is just a crevasse

With which you can bypass entirely because it is no pertinent son to what you're doing I'm not using the word pertinence, right, but you know what I mean All right, they fruit up there. Oh my god, there is All right, so I just gotta go into this. Alright, any fruit up there? Oh my god, there is. Alright, so I just gotta go into this- oh, okay. I just gotta go into this weird place and climb up the bricks. I mean, pretty similar to what I was just doing, but now with an actual objective. Farmhouse,

abandoned by Normans. Yeah, years of neglect have rendered this structure unsafe. Until the owner returns to perform much needed maintenance, please refrain from entering. Yeah, years of neglect have rendered this structure unsafe. Until the owner returns to perform much needed maintenance, please refrain from entering. Yeah, right, that's for people, not me. That's for others. That's for the others who are not as skilled at doing the things that I can do. I can't even get up here.

Nope, alright. Don't worry, I can... I got it. I can get a toe... toe- If I could get a toe in there. In there.

Just a toe. All I need is a toe.

Okay.

Okay. Alright, ow. You know, I didn't really do that, but whatever. I can just get a toe in somewhere. A toe. A toe. A toe! Oh, I almost had that. Let's see, I don't know if this is as slippy as you claim it to be. I don't know if it's real- it doesn't seem seem really doesn't seem that

slippy all right there's gotta be another way there's a fucking door god damn I'm really good at this game god damn I'm good okay seems like it's a similar situation but I bet I can get an actual toe in there yep all right well I don't know why I always choose the hard path seems like I go across this way oh this is easy you think this is a challenge... for moi. exuding any kind of, you know, ability to speak. I just kind of say sounds and I hope that no one catches that I'm not actually saying any words. Uh, that's a problem.

Not for me though! Fucking stand on the bottle. My god, I'm good. Now what's this? A toehold? Yes. What? I'm up. I think Jesus Christ God. I wish the camera would help me Huh fucking hell. Oh Why can't I get a first-person mode

My knees gonna hit that it's gonna

Nope My knee's gonna hit that and it's gonna... Fuckin' luuuunnnn...

Nope.

I think I might be able to straddle out and get on that part there. Fuck. Nevermind.

Alright.

I'm pretty sure what I need to do is I need to put my foot like right here and then I straddle out to get to that one over there, right? I couldn't see a fucking thing! Okay, so how can I do this in a way that I can actually see where my foot is supposed to land? Because I really can't.

There we go, There we go.

As soon as I can see, everything does move a little better. Nooo, my god. Can you please- I can't see shit. I so cannot see anything! God.

OH MY- anything god oh my Careful, you can see my fucking feet. Okay, okay, okay, sliding a little bit. I should be able to reach that.

Ooh, is that a kiwi?

Too close?

Oh yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, so good. Oh yes, people don't know, but the skin is so good too and then it gives way to a sweet and sour explosion.

Kiwi!

Kiwi! Kiwi! Kiwi!

Alright. Uh, last thing I'm gonna do is check out this weird bridge. Sorry! Did that hurt, Nathan? Oh man, I'm so sorry about that! I know you were just teaching me life lessons about life and lessons about that life, but I...

am mad at you and your inability to see your fucking feet guess I'll just have to that's my own fault that's my fault Nathan that's my fault I guess I'll just have to get along with it what is this supposed to do why are they touching tips supposed to be elephants LaFont's so I was supposed to be god I hope it's LaFonce. All right. Still don't know how I jumped. I'm still not a hundred percent sure how I managed to jump. That... that intrigues me.

I know that there are people that probably played this game in speedrunners that have found every single crazy tactic and ability to do this stuff. The- the speed at which they probably you know finished puzzles would astonish me your mom constructed by Mitchell McKenzie It looks like LaFont's Constructed of lumber that has been earmarked for public safety provisions. The sculpture is now more of a hazard Yeah hazard to who?

Now I'm a hazard to myself clearly I don't need any sculpture to tell me I'm a hazard. I already is that. I missed when I was just climbing up a slightly vertical slope of a mountain and thought I was really cool. I missed that. Is there anything up there worth getting? I see the spikes Seems like something that I could probably Climb up. I guess I just climb up the wood. Never mind. The wood is too- oh my god. It's too slippy. There's no way

There's no way. Why would I do this to myself? I can't see my fucking feet! Uhhh... Right. Of course. Okay. Maybe I should sidestep it. That'd be smart, right? Whoa.

I'm not too slippy.

I'm not going up there. Why would I do this to myself? I'm not gonna do that. That had a baby on his head. Alright, that's enough of this game for me. I'm out of here. Thank you everybody so much for watching.

Hope that there's something good up there for anyone else that's gonna do that except for me, because I'm certainly not gonna do it. Thank you! Thank you!

And as always,