The Stilt Slugger (@dakotastiltsalbritton)

This is Ryan, and people literally call him the Stilt Slugger, because even though the MLB wasn't really designed for someone his height, he's actually a professional baseball player. Using his insane reach to smack every ball so far, the only way to catch them is using his massive gloves. But even though many people online argue it's impossible for him to run a home run on stilts, Ryan has been walking on them his entire life, and even has this personal masseuse, resulting in him casually speed-running stairs and reaching first base in just a few steps. But even though he sometimes still loses some aura when trying to sit down, he immediately

But even though he sometimes still loses some aura when trying to sit down, he immediately makes up for it by hitting the gritty like a boss.