Trump Attacks the Pope, Thinks He’s Jesus & Bashes Springsteen in His Most Bananas Posting Spree Yet

Welcome. I'm Jimmy. I'm the host of the show. It's very nice. Thank you for coming.

Thank you for watching at home here. Relax. We are broadcasting from sunny Los Angeles, California. Oh, it was a great week. Do you have a good weekend, Guillermo?

Yes, Jimmy. It was fantastic.

I tell you what. I love the weekend. But it almost always goes too fast. And I say almost because this weekend, all I wanted to do was get back to work. Did you have that feeling at all this weekend?

No, not really.

No, OK.

It feels like every Monday now, I come and I say, the president had his most paranoid, untethered, mentally disconnected weekend yet. And then the next weekend, he tops it. It's incredible. This weekend, he started with an old favorite,

bashing a music superstar. He did it with Bad Bunny. He did it with Taylor Swift. And now Bruce Springsteen seems to be poking around his ass. And I want to start this by saying, I saw Bruce Springsteen at the forum on Thursday night. Not only was he great, he was just absolutely great.

He's 76 years old. He has more energy than Dave and Busters on a Saturday afternoon. He did a three-hour show, barely took a breath, 100 miles an hour the whole time, and he looks fantastic. If he could send your mom one text, the next day your dad would be looking

for a studio apartment, okay? But anyway, there's a war going on, so naturally our commander in chief posted Bruce Springsteen prior to plastic surgery, a photograph that has clearly been doctored. Clearly to us, I should say.

Not clearly to him. He has no idea of what's real and what isn't real. But beyond that, beyond how scary it is that our president doesn't know the difference between real and fake, beyond how petty and childish this is, especially with everything that's going on,

how oblivious is this man? Has he looked at himself in the mirror ever? I mean, imagine being this stumpy, blotchy glob of overcooked yams hobbling out of your backpack. You smell like ointment and chicken and pee. You barely make it to the toilet.

You sit down. You post that Bruce Springsteen looks bad, implying that Bruce had plastic surgery while every weird rich person downstairs at Mar-a-Lago is walking around with more plastic in them than a sea turtle's stomach. This is how out of it he is.

And then I guess Bruce wasn't enough, because a few hours later, he moved on to the Pope. That's right. Oh, you didn't hear?

That's right.

He posted, he begins with, Pope Leo is weak on crime. I should just stop right there, because seriously, when I read this, I couldn't stop laughing. I just like, I had to take a break six words into it to laugh, because it's so nuts. The whole post is just nuts.

You know, the Pope's brother, we learned during the poping process, voted for Trump. So Trump wrote, I like his brother, Lewis, much better than I like him, because Lewis is all MAGA. He gets it, and Leo doesn't. Leo should be thankful, because as everyone knows,

he was a shocking surprise. He wasn't on any list to be pope, and was only put there by the church because he was an American. And they thought that would be the best way to deal with President Donald J. Trump.

As if that's a compliment. If I wasn't in the White House, Leo wouldn't be in the Vatican. Here you go. You know that white smoke you see when they pick a... He couldn't help it. He had to blow it right up his own ass. And he insulted the Pope on a Sunday.

We have a fight between the President and the Pope. The world has become a real-life episode of South Park.

Pat poked Leo on true social.

I don't think he's doing a very good job. He likes crime, I guess.

What does the pope have to do with crime? He's not Batman. He's the pope. This is what happens when you sell Bibles instead of reading them. And then, oh but wait, less than an hour after that he posts an AI generated image of himself

as Jesus. Now this is an absolutely bananas thing for anyone to post, let alone the president. But let's go through it because maybe we're missing something here. Okay, the first problem I see is his hands are normal size. That's not realistic. Then we have the planes, which are fighter jets, the F-16s

of peace, if you will. Above him, there's some kind of demogorgon from Stranger Things, two soldier, four soldiers on the side. Maybe the weirdest detail, the man Donald Jesus Trump is healing looks a whole lot like Jeffrey Epstein.

I mean.

I mean. I mean.

Even AI can't keep him from his BF Jeff. Now, this little detour into Messiah status did not get Trump the reaction he was hoping for from the Christian community. Overall, they're not on board with the whole false idols thing, and a lot of people were upset.

So Trump or his team deleted the post, which is notable because his count almost never deletes his crazy posts. Last week when he threatened to kill a civilization, that's still up. The Jesus post is down. So you know this one was trouble. And then reporters got a hold of the Pope who was headed to Algeria and asked him to

respond to the president's attack.

I do not look at my role as being political, a politician. I don't want to get into a debate with him. I don't think that the message of the gospel is meant to be abused in the way that some people are doing. And I will continue to speak out against war, looking to promote peace, promoting

dialogue and multilateral relationships among the states, to look for just solutions to problems. Too many people are suffering in the world today. Too many innocent people are being killed. And I think someone has to stand up and say there's a better way. But the fear of the Trump administration...

This is your captain reminding you that you can earn 50,000 bonus miles when you sign up for a Southwest Rapid Rewards Premier Credit Card today. Extra miles mean extra smiles. Ask your flight attendant for more details. Foreign policy is not a good idea.

I might hide.

Even the Pope has to endure those commercials?

As far as I'm concerned, there's only one way to settle this, and that is on June 14th, the Pope versus the president in the octagon on the White House lawn. That card could use some star power. Why not? Today at the White House, they had a no taxes on tips event.

With tax day on Wednesday, they want to take credit for this no tax on tips thing. So they ordered a bunch of McDonald's to come to the Oval Office. And they had the McDonald's to come to the Oval Office. And they had the McDonald's delivered by a woman who calls herself the DoorDash Grandma.

That is her. They brought her there to talk about how great it is that she doesn't have to pay tax on tips and because our president is desperate for approval of every kind from any person. And then they had her weigh in on some other stuff too.

The Democrats, they cheat. They can't get elected with their policy. So their policy's no good. They wanna have, I mean, open borders. They wanna have men playing in women's sports. Do you think that men should play in women's sports?

I really don't have an opinion on that.

You don't, I'll bet you do.

Well, I'm here about their tax on tips.

Yeah.

Mr. President.

Oh, well, you know what?

Somebody's getting a one-star review.

Well, then they brought up, the reporters brought up the Jesus picture. And this is why, on top of being reckless and a liar and just ridiculous in general, Trump is also a coward. Mr. President, did you post that picture of yourself, depicted as Jesus Christ?

Well, it wasn't a picture. It was me. I did post it, and I thought it was me as a doctor. And it had to do with Red Cross. There's a Red Cross worker there, which we support. And only the fake news could come up with that one.

So I had just heard about it. And I said, how did they come up with that? It's supposed to be me as a doctor making people better.

Oh, now it makes sense.

I'm sorry. It's supposed to be him as a doctor. Not Jesus. He's a doctor in a robe. It was our mistake. Let's look at that picture again, if we could.

Oh, yeah. There you go. Now I hear it. It's a doctor. It's Dr. Jesus is what it is. I don't know which is more offensive, how dumb he is or how dumb he thinks we are. But poor Dordash's grandma, who, by the way, delivers for Dordash so she can afford

to pay for her husband's cancer treatment, which should be covered by some kind of health insurance, was asked probably, maybe, the most important question of the day.

Are the White House good tippers? Do you know?

Wait.

Potentially.

Wow.

Yes, very.

Mr. President, can I ask you something about the people

that you're supporting?

Thank you. You reminded me.

I just happen to have a crisp $100 bill in my suit.

Wait.

Even the way he tips is weird. Let's watch that again in slow motion. Because you're like, oh, money. I see it.

There it goes.

That's for you, lady.

Look at these.

That's like the first tip he ever gave. Feels good, though, right?

Do it again.

And then we have that war he started and left for everyone else to clean up. We do not have a deal with Iran. He sent JD Vance to Pakistan for talks over the weekend. That completely fell apart. So in response to those failed negotiations, Trump announced a blockade of the Strait of Hormuz, which as you know, is already blockaded by Iran.

He is establishing a blockade on a strait he wants open. And if that doesn't work, he's going to bomb Mar-a-Lago. But two weeks ago, he was screaming, open the effing straight. Now he's closing the effing straight. He can't even keep the effing straight effing straight. I mean, and it's still, it's unclear how

they're going to resolve this. Usually when Trump needs a way out of a military conflict, he gets a note from his father's podiatrist. But that guy's dead now. But fear not, according to the president, it doesn't matter if we're winning this war or not,

because we already won it.

Let's see what happens. Look, regardless, we win. Regardless what happens, we win. We've totally defeated that country. And so let's see what happens.

Maybe they make a deal, maybe they don't. We win regardless. We've defeated them militarily. Whether we make a deal or not makes no difference to me.

And the reason is because we've won.

If you say we win or we won enough times, And the reason is because we've won. What do you mean?

If you say we win or we won enough times, it makes it true and you won. And while JD was in Pakistan negotiating, Trump went to a UFC fight in Miami where he drooled all over a fighter named Paolo Costa.

Thank you.

Thank you. What you doing? No, I'm a fighter.

I'm not a fighter.

I'm a warrior.

You're a beautiful man. Thank you for doing what you're doing. You know, only for America. Always.

You're a beautiful man.

Great fight.

Thank you very much.

Yes. I want to put a piece of more than you

on one of these hot fighters.

I'll give you a hotter.

You look so good. You're too good looking to be a fighter.

You are a sub fighter.

Oh.

Somebody may have binged heated rivalry on Air Force One. Look at you, all sweaty. Want to take a shower on my plane? And it wasn't just the UFC fight this weekend. Trump also carved out some time to hit the links and hit on women.

She's a great chick.

She's a great chick.

Look at her.

You want a picture?

Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

Come on over here. Is she in good shape or what?

Thank you.

You're all members, right? Yes, sir.

And she was never seen again. What goes on? We have thousands of soldiers at war right now. His peace talks went nowhere. He's out golfing again. An attractive woman just runs up to his cart.

I don't know what the Secret Service thinks. He checks her out. He pulls over, fixes. He's as horny as a mountain goat. He gets off that thing. Says she's in great shape three times.

Leaves the kid in the cart to go give her a squeeze. And by the way, the child riding with him is his grandson, Donald Trump III. Donald Trump III and Donald Trump III, taking some swings on the link. I'm trying to imagine my grandpa doing that and the image is not coming up. Oh, and then he slipped into the golf course dining room to meet up with Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, who when Trump sat down next, he gave him a little kiss on the cheek.

That's right.

It's legal in Florida because they're cousins. And Melania doesn't mind at all. It's been four days now since the First Lady shot the world and went in front of the camera to distance herself from the Trump-Epstein files. Originally, Trump said he didn't know his wife

was making a statement. But a spokesperson for the First Lady said Trump was told she was going to make a statement. So then the report said that her spokesperson updated the statement to say it was unclear if he knew what Melania would be making a statement about.

And now we, it would all be so much easier if Trump and Melania had each other's phone numbers. But there are a lot of theories online as to why Melania suddenly disavowed her ties to Jeffrey Epstein. I've read all of them many, many times.

I've been doing a deep dive into this like it's a subreddit on Severance. And a federal judge today dismissed Trump's $10 billion lawsuit against the Wall Street Journal for their story about the now infamous birthday message he claims he did not write or draw to celebrate

Epstein's 50th birthday. He sued the Wall Street Journal for $10 billion. But that got thrown out because in order to sue for defamation, you have to prove the newspaper published the story with malice, which they obviously didn't. Rupert Murdoch owns the Wall Street Journal.

This is like Frankenstein to Trump's monster here, OK? And so now Trump plans to refile the lawsuit. Trump has been smacked down by so many judges now, it might actually explain all the bruises on his hands. But his ongoing abuse of the legal system will continue. And while we still don't know what's up with Melania,

the focus this weekend shifted briefly to another bickering couple. This one was in attendance at the Brooklyn Nets game. If you watch our show with any regularity, you know that from time to time, I mispronounced the word regularity.

You know that from time to time, we check in on the endless stream of strange coming out of the sunshine state. But tonight we switch that to New York. A little something for the lip readers in our audience. Our first ever edition of This Week in Brooklyn.

The final road game of the year. Our producer Brian Woodrum. Our director Todd Kinsey. Quinn I'm always heartened, especially when we come to the New York area, with how many Pacers fans are here in Knicks and Nets country.

No doubt about it. I mean, well, I think in just some sense of both of us being realistic.

I think the Coldplay couple has met its match. Hey, we had a great show tonight. Henry Winkler is here.

We have music from Hollywood Homeless Club. And we'll be right back with. Henry Winkler is here. We have music from Hollywood.

We'll be right back with Mark Wahlberg. We'll be right back with Mark Wahlberg. Stick around.