Trump Rages at Pope Leo, JD Vance Fumbles Iran Deal & Hungary Ousts Viktor Orban | The Daily Show

Welcome to The Daily Show on this beautiful spring day. My name is Jon Stewart. We have a great show for you tonight, a great show. Later on, I'll be talking to peace activist Aziz Abu Sarra and Meoz Inan. They are a Palestinian and an Israeli

who traveled their homeland and, I assume, walked into a bar with the Pope. So, honestly, it is an incredible book about two men touched by tragedy who try to rise above this conflict to find reconciliation and healing. It's a message of compassion

shared by many in the world today, including Chicago-born, Villanova-educated Pope Leo XIV.

Let those who have the power to unleash wars choose peace.

Not a peace imposed by force, but through dialogue. Look who became Pope and suddenly became too good for English. Oh. But still, a beautiful, compassionate message that I cannot imagine. Anyone, really, anyone, anyone, I can't think of anyone. It does not come into my brain that anyone in the world hearing the Pope's message of peace will have some kind of a weird problem with it.

Overnight, President Trump lashing out at Pope Leo on Truth Social, calling the first American pope weak and a loser.

-♪ -♪ I... -♪

I am really starting to sour on this president. A man, what is going through Trump's mind? What did the Pope say? He wants what?

Dialogue? Peace?

He wants to choose the noblest aspirations of mankind to show humanity its greatest articulation? F*** that loser! That guy's a loser! F*** that guy! Who died and made him...

Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, that's who died? Okay. Oh, really? There was a vote. White smoke. Interesting.

OK.

Fair enough.

Interesting.

Hold on. Yeah.

I'm going to have to call you back.

OK.

And look, President Trump, I know the Vatican's been critical of your policies, but you've got to remember that at the end of the day, you and the Catholic Church both, both historically care deeply about the same thing, covering up sex scandals.

You both...

By the way, Trump's comments about the Pope upset a lot of people of Christian faith. But please don't worry. It gets worse.

In a separate social media message, the president shared an image of himself in a religious scene that appears to depict Trump as Jesus.

Oh my God!

Wait, the guy in the bed, can I just... Am I okay? What the f***?

Wait, what?

How did I...

I mean, look, I know I don't have the vigor and spunk of my MTV days, but I didn't know we were here already. I didn't realize my look had reached leper territory. I mean, from the picture, it looks like he was touching goat with me for a while. But thank God in my time of need I was surrounded by family. Uh... There's my darling wife, Amy Lynn, hands clasped in prayer. My brother, Sergeant Chisel Jaw.

Oh, look, in the back, there's Pappy Joe. He and I stormed the Capitol together, me and Pappy Joe. And over the top there, there's the eagle that delivers my mail. And apparently the lead singer of Gwar is in the middle of there. If you look at just the bottom there, it looks like there's just a guy's hand. Not mine, just some other guy's hand. Seems to be taking advantage of my infirmity to touch my penis.

I don't know why. This is freaking me the f*** out. You know, the whole thing happening outside the watchful eye of daytime fireworks. You know, I'm just glad that Jesus Trump brought his healing orb.

By the way, can I tell you my favorite thing about this picture? Like, I like how there's only so much AI can do. Like, AI is like, look, I can give you the fireworks and the healing powers and I can make you Jesus but

You weigh what you weigh? Listen I plugged in all the shit Give me the flag make me Jesus do the Eagles and then he was like it make me Jesus, do the eagles, and then he was like, and make me 185, and I'm like, can't do it. You're gonna have to be fat, Jesus. Sorry, Chubbs.

That's me entering the program. Now, apparently, not everyone in the Christian community took too kindly to Trump portraying himself this way. And the backlash was bad enough that Trump was forced to come up with his own incredibly plausible cover story.

Mr. President, did you post that picture of yourself depicted as Jesus Christ?

Well, it wasn't a picture. It was me.

I did post it.

And I thought it was me as a doctor. -$5,000. $5,000.

$5,000. $5,000. $5,000.

$5,000. Why don't you own it, you big puss bag? You put yourself out there as Jesus, you got f***ing called on it, and now you're like God, do you even care about lying to us anymore? Is it over? Is this relationship gone still? Your lies used to have a real spark.

They're eating the cats and dogs. Venezuela stole the 2020 election, and now the best you've got is, Oh, no, you're not a Jesus. I'm a doctor. You need to find your happy place and fast.

We expect better lives, sir. And can I just remind you, Mr. President, we're in the middle of a grinding war with Iran. Can you just address that in a straightforward way with the American people without all this other weird shit going on?

Can you just do that once?

I don't think it gets much more hostile than Iran. They're capable fighters. They're very tough people. And there are others like that. You don't mind when the enemy is weak, but that enemy is strong.

You guys see the rabbit too, right? I've been, you see it. Oh, thank God. I'm so glad they see it. You know, clearly I've been on a lot of leprosy meds, so I don't, a lot of hallucinations and shit. By the way, the surreal image of the president running through his cavalcade of grievances

next to the Easter bunny was not exclusive to the balcony. Poor Peter Conte had to listen to this bullshit all day.

We've broken every record on the stock market. We've broken every record in our military. And we are the most respected country anywhere in the world with the greatest military. Mr. Jameson Greer, have you heard?

He's right here.

Come on over here, James.

How are we doing on trade?

It's a big country.

They can't fight back. They have no capability. NATO should be ashamed of themselves. This is about eggs.

Eggs.

I'm sorry. That's insane! I can't help but think that if Jesus came back to see the White House Easter event, he'd be like, I think you may have misunderstood my message. At one point, the issue with the Easter Bunny got so bad, you're not sure if it was an episode of The Office.

Would anybody in the egg industry vote for Kamala? A low IQ person.

She's a low IQ person.

-♪♪ In the middle of it, the extra bunny does one of these. -♪♪ one of these. He f***ing landed it and his eyes don't move. His head is immobile and he still landed the... You believe this is how it's gonna go? How f***ed up do you have to be for an adult in a bunny suit to go, all right, now I'm embarrassed.

But back to Iran. If you remember correctly, about a week ago, Donald Trump had given Iran a deadline to open up the Strait of Hormuz or face the end of their civilization. And while Iran neither opened up the Strait of Hormuz or faced the end of their civilization, they did agree to a two-week ceasefire. And to meet in Islamabad, Pakistan to talk.

Let's go there now!

The fate of the US-Iran war is hanging in the balance.

The collective world holding its breath.

Highest stakes talks between the US and Iran in many years.

In the balance, the lives of millions of people across the Middle East and the fate of the global economy.

My God, these negotiations couldn't be more critical. We're going to need everybody. Bunny, pack your eggs. We're going to Pakistan. But what luck for the United States, because what Iran might not realize is our president

is the greatest negotiator in the history of his book. We are talking about this year's recipient of the FIFA Peace Prize and some f*****g gold thing from Apple. And they don't just give those to anyone. I had the inflection wrong.

They don't give those to anyone. I would have loved to see those Iran negotiators' faces when the formidable negotiator-in-chief Donald Jehoshaphat for Trump entered those talks on Saturday in Islamabad. Unfortunately, he couldn't make it because I shit you not, he went to a UFC fight with Dana White.

Now before you criticize the President of the United States for attending a UFC fight around the same time that America and Iran are locked in high stakes negotiations in Islamabad, you do have to understand, he had fantastic seats. Like, super close. Like, uncomfortably weird and close.

You're a beautiful man. Great fight. We'll give you a hug. You look so good. You're too good-looking to be a fighter. You are so fighter.

Thank you, man.

-$1.5 million.

Hey, uh, one last thing. You wouldn't mind trying on a bunny suit, would you?

Would that?

Oh, that's, oh, that's, oh, that's, oh.

Now let's, let's see where those eggs come out of.

Come on.

Come on! And by the way, what in the pit bull are those hand signals? No disrespect to Marco repping the 305, but if Trump isn't in Islamabad and Marco Rubio isn't in Islamabad, who exactly is in Islamabad handling these extremely delicate negotiations?

Hey, guys.

Good morning. Thanks for coming.

No! Jane Delores Vance? You?

World peace depends on chubby face, Muldoon. Well, all right, fine. I remain open-minded. Let's set the scene. Obviously, the last Iran agreement took the Obama administration 20 months to negotiate. And this time, there's a wide gap between the U.S. position and the Iranian position.

The U.S. is asking for an unconditional surrender. Iran is asking for a control of the Strait of Hormuz, nuclear enrichment, and money. I'm glad the Pakistanis are setting the stage for what will be extensive and grueling talks.

The host country declaring a national holiday, implementing a lockdown in the capital of Islamabad. The Pakistani government welcomed both delegations with flowers as they both got off the plane.

The building was decked out in branding. There were signs that read, Islamabad Talks. Reporters were offered specially branded

brewed for peace coffee. You know, I apologize. I'm sorry. Respect, Pakistan, for taking this seriously and for locking the U.S. and Iran in for the

long haul.

U.S. Vice President J.D. Vance and his delegation are headed home.

What?

It's over already?

Oh, my God. Did J.D. Vance just f***ing nail this? What? It's over already?

Oh my God, did J.D. Vance just f***ing nail this? Did J.D. Vance just Rubik's Cube world peace? You know what, J.D. Vance, I owe you an apology. I thought you were some kind of incompetent, unlikable, cytoplasmic apparition of a meat bag filled with cynical ambition,

a cypipher whose only principle is devotion to power. But you're not that at all. You are a competent, unlikable cytoplasmic apparition of a meat bag.

U.S. officials say there's no deal following 16 hours of negotiations with Iran.

Wait, and you didn't even get, wait you went home and didn't even get a deal it failed and you just came home? That, well I'm sorry don't don't be too hard on yourself you did give it almost a day. I mean we all knew that's what it took to build Rome. Jesus, couldn't you have just thrown down some of that peace coffee and pulled an all-nighter? No, let's resume in the morning and build on some momentum.

Just I gotta go, I don't want to miss euphoria. At least tell us after all this, there were some concessions. You got the Strait of Hormuz open.

President Trump announcing today a U.S. military blockade of all ships passing through the Strait of Hormuz.

Wait. Now we're blocking it? What kind of fucked-up godfather... You think you're gonna close the straight? No. No, my friend, we're closing the straight. You think you can kick me in the balls? No, watch this.

Bang! Bang! Bang! No. Ooh. -♪♪

Are we ever gonna get this hormuz straight? I'm telling you, man, it's all starting to fall apart in MAGA world. The whole thing's spread too thin. Even Trump's overseas allies are in trouble.

Viktor Orban, one of President Trump's closest allies in Europe, is facing his toughest challenge as he tries to win a fifth term as prime minister.

Well, no, no, that shouldn't be a problem. We all know Trump is the endorser-in-chief. He shows up to a rally, almost inevitably that person gets elected. Is Trump going to head to Hungary to prop up his boy Orban? I mean, who else could you send?

Hey guys, good morning.

No!

Yes, apparently a couple of days before JD Vance shit the bed in his lava bot, he took a practice crap in Budapest.

JD Vance treated the crowd to a phone call live from Donald Trump. Here's how it all played out.

I actually had a special guest that asked that I give him a phone call and we'll see, let's hope he actually answers. This is going to be very embarrassing.

All right. I'm sorry, the person you are trying to reach has a voicemail box that has not been set up yet. Okay.

Wow.

JD Vance has the same relationship with President Trump that we have with Comcast customer service. Wow.

JD Vance has the same relationship with President Trump that we have with Comcast's customer

service.

That's incredible.

Can I tell you my favorite part of the whole thing? Was the sort of Vegas magician part at the beginning with the phone. Hey, I've got a special friend.

JD flew all the way over there. Give her another go.

Okay. Try one more time.

I get a good signal here. It's ringing.

It's progress. Mr. President, you are on with about 5,000 Hungarian patriots, and I think they love you even more than they love Viktor Orban.

Oh, my God, you ass-kissing, cytoplasmic blah, blah, blah, what I said earlier.

God.

But you know what? I'm sure that by pulling out the big guns, having Donald Trump and J.D. Vance throw all of the American power behind Viktor Orban is sure to pay dividends.

Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban

was voted out of power in a massive landslide.

-♪♪ And scene!

Please, God, let the dam be breaking. Folks, this has been a truly shit year, as we have all been at the mercy of the mercurial whims of a mega-maniacal man-baby. And we are tired. The presidency is supposed to age the president,

not the people. -♪ ♪ -♪ �. But I'm telling you, there is hope. The air of Donald Trump's invincibility is being slowly eroded by world events and his own heart's ability to clear liquid from his capillaries. That's why a bunch is at the bottom.

But we cannot give in to the sadness. We must embrace these moments of light and hope and oxygen. Even MAGA is beginning to realize the depths of this man's depravity. No matter how much we love the person, he's healing. And I do appreciate it. And to the dismay of Donald Trump and his acolytes, an illiberal autocrat who controlled the media, stacked the judiciary,

and manipulated the electoral process of his country has been crushed. Because the people of Hungary stood up and said,

-"Fuck this." --Yes. Yes.

We must remember these moments of hope. I'm going to show you something. These are Hungarians. It's not where we are right now, but I am starting to believe it is where we could be soon. Drink in their jubilation.

Take solace and strength from their joy. All right, that might be a little much. But you know what? Sure. F*** it. Dance like that. And remember, as we grind through these next two and a half years, it ain't over till the Freddie Mercury sings. these next two and a half years, it ain't over till the Freddie Mercury sings. We'll get there soon.