Trump Threatens to Delay SNAP Benefits, Brags About Trumpified Kennedy Center & Mamdani vs Cuomo

I'm Jimmy, I'm the host. Thanks for watching. Thank you for coming. Thank you for joining us. I'm glad we're in a good mood. This is a big night.

The World Series champion, Los Angeles Dodgers, are here with us tonight. Make a pot of coffee. We could be going to extra innings tonight. You excited, Guillermo?

I'm very excited, very happy, Jimmy.

It's going to be fun. It's going to be great. They're super nice, Jimmy. This is not our usual Tuesday. There were, it was election day today. There were elections in 39 states, including ours. This is what they call an off-year election, as if last year's election wasn't off. We only had one item on the ballot in California.

Did you vote, Guillermo? Yes, Jimmy. What did you vote for? Yes, in 50. I mailed it. Oh, you did? You mailed it in? Yeah, I mailed it in.

Yeah.

Oh.

It was a special election to redraw our congressional map, because Texas redrew their congressional map to give them five more Republican seats. This would presumably balance that out. But who are you kidding? Things don't go his way. You know Trump's just going to redraw everything with a Sharpie himself. The votes haven't even been counted. They haven't even finished voting yet. Already Trump is calling our election

unconstitutional and a giant scam, which are also adjectives some might use to describe him. He said the whole thing is rigged. And he said our election is under very serious legal and criminal review. He must be so much fun to play golf with, you know?

There were races for governor in Virginia and New Jersey. But the race that's been getting the most attention nationally is the race for mayor of New York. Former governor Andrew Cuomo was trailing the newcomer Zoran Mamdani by about 16 points, but Cuomo picked up a last-minute endorsement

from Trump and Elon Musk, so now he's trailing by 30 points. Enthusiasm for Team Cuomo, I have to say, at least at the Cool Girls for Capitalism rally, remained high.

No Cuomo, for Cuomo! No Cuomo for Cuomo! No Cuomo for Cuomo!

That's good.

I would have to sum up with that.

No Cuomo for Cuomo!

Wow, those are some cool girls. I mean, really super cool girls, right? This is all you need to know about the difference between these campaigns. That was an appearance for Cuomo. This one was for Mamdani.

Poppy Juice, how we doing?

How we doing, Poppy Juice?

Yeah, how are we doing, Poppy Juice? Poppy Juice sounds like your dad getting drunk after work. Give me my poppy juice. You know, there's been a lot of focus on who will be the next mayor of New York. But I think it's important that we don't forget

how clownishly funny the last four years have been under their current mayor, Eric Adams.

You've had a lot of mayors that did the waltz.

One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three. I do the boogaloo, I salsa. That's right.

And we look forward to seeing you do that on a new season of Dancing with the Stars, Mr. Mayor. We are on day 35 of the government shutdown, now tied for the longest shutdown since the last time Trump shut the government down. This morning, he threatened to delay snap benefits

to the 42 million Americans who need them until the shutdown is over. And then his press secretary had to go out there and walk that back because he legally can't do it. It really is amazing. The president says one thing. The White House says another entirely different.

It's like the one hand doesn't know what the other tiny, bruised, makeup-covered, greasy, genitalia-grabbing, sharpie-stained baby hand is doing. greasy genitalia-grabbing, sharpie-stained baby hands, too. And also, hey, you just think about how cruel a person has to be to cut off food to 42 million people. It's the kind of thing that makes you go, oh, no wonder

his kids are like that. The guy who never missed a happy meal in his life is deciding who gets to eat in this country. So after a federal court ordered them to do what the Trump administration agreed to pay half the benefits, which is not enough, so we are going to have to help.

There are many great organizations feeding those who need food. Two of them are here in LA, St. Joseph's Center and LA Food

Bank.

Together, they feed over 1.3 million people a month. And they're going to need extra support. So we've set up a big, beautiful food bank in our parking lot. We're building an east wing of food donations. Guillermo is out there. Boy, you got out there fast, Guillermo, huh?

Yeah, I'm in great shape, Jimmy.

Now, Guillermo, it looks like you're standing in front of a fake background. Go over and grab something so we know that is not the case.

All right?

All right. And also, tell us what kind of items that they need. What are they looking for people to bring?

Jimmy, we need rice, pasta. We need peanut butter. We need bread. We need tuna cans, chicken. We need a lot of things, Jimmy. We have the whole list in our Instagram page, Jimmy.

OK, very good. And also, why are you wearing a hard hat right now? Oh, just for safety, Jimmy. In case any bird pass over here and want to f*** my head.

OK, very good.

All right.

If you're in Hollywood, come to our parking lot. That is our back parking lot from 9 to 5 to drop off food or supplies. You can also donate money at stjosephcenter.org or lafoodbank.org. And for those who live outside LA, please support your local food bank.

They could really use your help, I'm sure. And I also want to say, to be fair, it's not like Trump doesn't care about people. I mean, he has a lot of empathy. He's feeling especially bad right now for the family of the newly decrowned Jeffrey Epstein

pal, the now former Prince Andrew.

Prince Andrew in the UK has had his royal title stripped away because of the Epstein scandal. I know you're close to the royal family there. Do you have any thoughts on the royal family?

I feel very badly. I mean, it's a terrible thing that's happened to the family. That's been a tragic situation. And, uh, it's too bad. I mean, I feel badly for the family.

That family he feels bad for. The ones losing their food stamps, eh, they're going to be fine. Don't worry about it. This is like Bill Cosby feeling bad for R. Kelly, OK? Prince Andrew lost his royal status.

He's been demoted to, I think he's the Archduke of Frimple Pants now or something. Trump's claimed that he doesn't know Prince Andrew, and yet there are dozens of photos of them together. Here's just one of the many. I don't know what happened to Andrew in that photograph, but here's one of then Prince Andrew walking away from Trump.

And look who else is in the picture peeking in from the corner. You got convicted sex trafficker Jelaine Maxwell, who Trump wishes well and just had moved to a much more comfortable prison and then lurking in the background, none other than Trump's BF Jeff, Jeffrey Epstein.

By the way, it made a lot out of the fact that Andrew's being forced out of the Royal Lodge, his residence, and into a much smaller home. This is the disgraced former prince's new place. King Charles really taught him a lesson, didn't he? Now he's stuck in that dump. According to the Washington Post, since Trump installed himself as chairman of the

board back in February, ticket sales at the Kennedy Center have taken a nosedive. So far the Kennedy Center has only sold 57% of their tickets, which is down from 93% at this time last year. Everything he touches dies. Good news, Melania, you're going to live forever. But the downturn...

This has not...

The lack of ticket sales hasn't discouraged the tantrum of the opera. One bit, he took a break from posting photos of the new Lincoln toilet to brag about his new Trumpified Kennedy Center. He wrote, it is really looking good.

The exterior columns, which were in serious danger of corrosion if something weren't done, are completed and look magnificent in white enamel. I don't know. He also said white enamel looked magnificent on his son's dental caps.

So sir, could you turn down your teeth a little bit, please? When Trump took over, he promised he would get rid of all the woke programming at the Kennedy Center and make it hot again. And I have to say, Fatty Lepone has lined up an absolutely magnificent new season of shows.

Hello, everyone. It's your favorite president and Kennedy Center chairman, me, with major news. We've got some fantastic new shows lined up, but I made a few minor changes, just like I did to the East Wing.

And they're gonna be great shows, like Kanye West's Side Story. We love Kanye. And this one's gonna be too good to not see. Get it? Ha-ha. Not see. Kanye is also directing our next project, Hitler on the Roof.

Hitler goes up on the roof and turns out to have some very reasonable things to say. Next, we've got a classic, Guys and Dolls are the Only Two Genders. And we don't want guys in the dolls' locker room, do we, folks?

Unless it's me, then it's fine. Then I'm excited for white Hamilton. The first Hamilton with an all-white cast. The founding fathers were all white. A lot of people don't know that, but it's true. We've got shut up about the rent.

Christy, Get Your Gun. How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying Because My Dad Is President. Chicago is a Hellhole. The Really Long Whiz. 13 Diet Cokes is a lot.

That road didn't start out yellow. Aladdin lives in El Salvador now, back where he belongs. And my personal favorite, the king is I. So come check out the full season, and I'll see you at the theater right after the renovations.

Well, we've got a great show for you tonight. Josh Brolin is here. Elizabeth Olsen is with us.

And we'll be right back with the World Series champions, And we'll be right back with the World Series champions,

Los Angeles, Hollywood.