Trump's Concert Turns Into Total Disaster, He Brags About Health Exam & Spencer Pratt's Mayoral Ads

Do you know why this is a special day and night?Guillermo, do you?Guillermo's not here.Guillermo is in San Antonio at NBA Finals Media Day covering that for us.But that's not why it's a special day.Today, and you're not going to believe this, It's June already.

It is June 1st.Can you believe that?June 1st.Can you believe that?It is June 1st.Can you believe it?

Oh my gosh.Hard to believe it's already June.Hard to believe it's already June.June 1st.No, it's hard to believe.

It is June 1st.Hard to believe.

June.Hard to believe.June.

Alex.Hard to believe.National Dairy Month.Hard to believe.Can you believe we've already made it to June?

No.

I can't believe it's already June.I know.I can't believe it's already June.I know.Can you believe it's June?No.

It's crazy.

Can you believe it's June 1st?I can't.Can you believe it is already June?I cannot.I can't believe it's already June.

I cannot believe it's already June.

June, can you believe?June, can you believe?

June, can you believe?

June, can you believe?June, can you believe?Can y 'all believe it's already June?

No.Are they going to clip that for, what is it, Jimmy Fallon?Yeah.

At this point, I'm just hoping to get my headstone right.You'd think these people would have learned by now that the month changes every month.How is it possible to have your mind blown every 30 days?Speaking of blowing minds, Donald Trump's is shot.We got a whole weekend worth of dementia to catch up on.It's like when you come back from vacation, you've got 300 messages in your inbox, all from your psycho boss.

We're only 16 months into his second term now.Somehow, this man is at war with Iran and Milli Vanilli.Last week, the White House announced this big lineup for Trump's great American state fair, the 250th anniversaryanniversary concert.By Saturday, almost every one of the performers either said they never agreed to be part of it in the first place or dropped out of it.Like, they dropped out.

It was as if they'd been booked on a hantavirus cruise.Unfortunately, the president doesn't take this sort of thing personally.He wrote, I understand artists are getting the yips having to do with their performance, so I'm thinking about bringing the number one attraction anywhere in the world, the man who gets much larger audiences than Elvis in his prime, and he does so without a guitar, the man who loves our country more than anyone else, and the man who some say is the greatest president in history, the GOAT, Donald J. Trump, to take the place of these highly paid third rate artists.and give a major speech rallying the country forward like I have done ever since being president.Yeah.You know those first -rate artists I announced on Wednesday?

Today, they're third -rate artists, and I will be replacing them.He said, I only want to be surrounded by happy people.That's right.He only wants to be surrounded by happy people.For instance, this photograph of his wife pictured at their evening grimace.The only well -known artists who did not back out were Flo Rida and Vanilla Ice, who now need to find another way to make 80 bucks that night.

And to make this all even crazier, Vanilla and Flo Rida, along with many of the performers who were originally announced, and that includes Mars Day, Young MC, and the aforementioned Milli Vanilli, are represented by the Universal Attractions Agency, which is an agency owned by a man who was unfortunate enough to be named, and everyone please relax when I say this, Jeff Epstein.is the guy's name.This poor bastard.Hey, listen, you know what?I'm not a conspiracy guy, but what if Jeffrey Epstein didn't die and instead chose a fate worse than death, which was being Vanilla Ice's booking agent?Think about it.

The concert is off and his speech is on.Instead of music, the entertainment will be an 80 -year -old man yelling about windmills.Windmilly Vanilly will be taking the stage.And on top of that, you remember how this lunatic had his name added to the front of the Kennedy Center, the Trump Kennedy Center?On Friday, a federal judge ruled that his name has to come off.According to that, which he ignored.

The Kennedy Center is a memorial to honor our fallen president.It can only be named after President Kennedy and President Kennedy alone, so they're going to remove Trump's name from the building.And this really got under his pumpkin -colored skin.He posted two long, angry diatribes.George Washington's inauguration speech was shorter than these.He said he's given up on his renovation plan.

He's turning the building back over to Congress to figure it out.He doesn't care about it anymore, which is especially bad news for the band they have booked to play the center this week.This is not a joke.This is the sort of act they've had to book since Trump put his name on the place.Big Al and the Jokers, Latvia's rock and roll powerhouse, live this Thursday night.It's a venue formerly known as the Trump Kennedy Center.

Ah, that is a tough one.But don't worry, Trump's name will remain squarely emblazoned on the still unreleased Trump Epstein files.Correct.Without asking, I guess.You can't un -knock something down.You know, on Saturday, Trump granted his daughter -in -law, Laura, an interview that included a tour of the construction site slash UFC arena he's living in right now.

This is what I did.I did this better than anybody, although you're a man.This is very good.Eric, I have to say, Eric Trump is a really good builder.He has the gene.He has a gene that I have.

I have my gene.

He has a gene.He has a gene.That's why he's a genius.It's the gene that he has.He can't just give Eric credit for anything.He's got to say, he has my gene.

But at least he's acknowledging they're related for a change.And then he sat Laura down to share an idea he is very, very proud of, this new word he made up.

I take the word dumb, take the B off, because most people don't know that dumb ends with a B. But most people don't know.And what I do is I switch the E with a U. And you have a Democrat.

I don't care how many times he explains that.I love to hear it every time.I love every detail.I love removing the B. I love swapping the U with the E. And then the way, oh, the way he just rolls it out, Democrat.So triumphant.I can listen to him go through that 1 ,000 times.

And I have a pretty good feeling we will have to listen to that.Late Friday night, they released the results of Trump's third annual checkup in a year and a half.It took three days to release it, one day to compile the findings, another two for the redactions.Trump's doctor.He said, the president remains in excellent health.He was able to stay awake for almost the duration of the exam.

Of course, Trump took time to brag about this.He wrote, the results of my physical exam were extremely good, unlike other US presidents, none of whom have ever taken an improved high -difficulty cognitive test.I scored a perfect 30 out of 30, considered extreme intelligence.Are the Democrats really surprised?In fact, this is my fourth such test.All perfect.

120 correct answers out of 120 questions asked.They're the same 30 questions over and over again.It is very rare that anyone gets a perfect score, especially when achieved four times in a row.That's right.No president in the history of this country has ever had to have his brain examined this many times in a row.Congratulations.

Brag about it.Bragging about passing a breathalyzer test.It doesn't mean you did great.All it means is they're not going to lock you up, OK?What you should be worried about is the fact that your behavior is so erratic, they keep asking you to take these tests.Tomorrow, you know, primary elections are going to be held in six US states, including ours, California.

We have never had a weirder or more confusing primary.There are 61 people on the ballot for governor, including a candidate named Barack D. Obama Shaw.And we looked into it.The D stands for Denzel.And the guy renamed himself after Denzel Washington and Barack Obama.And then we have a guy named Spencer Pratt running for mayor, who unfortunately is the Spencer Pratt from the reality shows.

After tomorrow, Spencer Pratt will either be one of two candidates for mayor or a carrot on the next season of The Masked Singer.We'll see.Right now, the polling shows that he's in a very tight race with Karen Bass and Nithya Raman.How that is possible, I have no idea.I mean, I get why people are mad, but has anyone ever made a good decision when they're mad?Ask any divorce lawyer.

Mad is the difference between an amicable separation and your Rivian ending up in the park.Any CEO will tell you how they got to be successful.Not one of them says, well, it all started when I keyed my boss's car.All getting mad ever gets you is duct tape to an airplane seat.Even if you're just looking to mix it up by voting for a celebrity, there are so many celebrities who live here, all of whom would be better choices for mayor than Spencer Pratt.Steve Guttenberg would be a better mayor than Spencer Pratt.

Weird Al would be a better mayor.Johnson would be a great mayor of this city.The accidentes billboard guy.The dog next to the lady on the insurance billboard.Literally, anyone from the cast of The Hills would be a better mayor than Spencer Pratt.This is a ridiculous choice for mayor of Los Angeles, but I do have to admit, he makes some pretty good ads.

Let's go.LA needs a leader with no experience in anything at all.She's just a vagina.Spencer Pratt will cut wasteful spending.Dang.This is the coolest knife I've ever held.

Spencer Pratt will heal this city.With thousands of crystals, he was unable to sell.

I don't think the crystals are working.I know they're not working.That's why there's hundreds on me right now.

Let the world know just how fucked up you are.stupid you are.

Lamest girl in this club.What the hell is wrong with you?I hate that bitch.Excuse my French.Hey, you're crazy.People don't know how dangerous I am.

I just really had to, like, hold myself.Smashing my head off.You know, like, this is like.

Spencer Pratt for Mayor.

There are some people in LA that are.

Whether or not we have to pay attention to Spencer Pratt for the next five months here.Governor and mayor aren't the only things we're voting on tomorrow.We are also voting on a number of props and ballot measures having to do with issues like hotel tax.Boring stuff.But we thought we might spice it up and have some fun with it.So we went out onto Hollywood Boulevard to ask passersby if they voted and how they voted on a bunch of stuff we made up in a special LA election edition of Lie Witness News.

Have you had a chance to vote yet?I did.Amazing.Yes, this morning.Wow.Where did you vote?

I went to, ooh, I don't know what it's called.My roommate took me.What was it like to vote this year?

How did it feel?

My mom handles most of my voting things.

How did you feel about Prop 18?

Prop 18.Could you remind me?

The parking one?

Oh.

It makes it illegal for anyone to park in front of your house?Totally.Where are you for or against Prop 9?

Four.

So that means you're against girls in schools?All schools or just elementary schools?

Elementary schools.

Are you glad that Prop 38 passed?Yeah, that is.That's the one banning Filipinos from marriage?I'm indifferent on that.Who's your favorite candidate that you heard about?I think Tom Sawyer.

Yeah.That he's been saying.I kind of resonated with.

There's a rumor that he's tricked people into painting fences for him.Oh.It's unpaid labor, right?Yeah, that's not cool.That he attended his own funeral just to see how people responded.

Oh, wow.Yeah, that seems like some type of social experiment or something.Right.Yeah.You saying the stuff about him faking his death kind of made me like eerie about him.Um, I'll definitely do a lot more research.

Yeah.I think you'll be surprised what you find.

Yeah.Were there any candidates that you really liked?

Um, not specifically.I do have to go.My Uber is right on the corner.I'm so sorry.I just got off of work.Thank you so much.

I know you're lying.