Trump's Timeline of Failure! & The Senate is Doing What?! | HIGNFYUS

-♪♪ -♪♪ Yeah!

Welcome to Have I Got News For You. I am Roy Wood Jr. In the news this week... Despite leadership shakeup, Kennedy Center still booking major acts.

-♪♪

A quick look at Americans checking their 401Ks.

-♪♪

Don Jr.'s morning regimen revealed.

Fentanyl, heroin, meth and cocaine.

On Amber's team tonight, he's a comedian who's been on Kimmel, NPR and Comedy Central, and he's known for hilariously calling out racism wherever he sees it. Michael, maybe you should leave now. Uh, it's Harry Condamolo.

-♪ Yeah! -♪ Yeah! It's Hari Kondamoli. And joining team Michael, he's an award-winning journalist who has won three Edward R. Murrow awards and hosted NPR's All Things Considered until last year when I assume he ran out of things to consider. It's Ari Shapiro.

Now for the biggest stories of the week. Amber, Ari, watch the clips. Tell me, what is the story?

Okay, this is our best friend, and that is a map.

Straight up from the moose.

The doors are closed. So I'm just gonna say this story

is about how everyone hates us and they're right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree with that.

Yes, the story is Donald Trump goes to war with the world, and people abroad are not fans of it. But how's it going here at home? If you could say something to President Trump

and he was going to hear you right now, what would it be?

You're a worthless pile of shit.

And you voted for him how many times?

Three times.

That was my bad apparently I'm an idiot

Three times as the war continues President Trump seems perpetually surprised that Iran is actually fighting back during a war So now Trump a man who seems to burn bridges while he's only halfway across the bridge...

-...has finally realized,

oh, dear, I need help from other countries. How's that getting help from other countries going?

Yeah, apparently when you do stuff without asking people, they don't want to help you afterwards.

Here's Dana Bash with how some of our allies responded.

Germany, this war has nothing to do with NATO. It's not NATO's war. UK, we will not be drawn into the wider war. Italy, Italy is not part of the conflict. Australia, we will not be sending a ship to the Strait of Hormuz.

Japan, we are proceeding with consideration.

We are considering his Japanese for,

-"Fuck you." --Yeah.

When Trump met with the Japanese Prime Minister, Sanae Takeshi, what happened in the meeting?

He thought it would be a great idea to make a joke about bombing Pearl Harbor.

Why didn't you tell U.S. allies, uh, in Europe and Asia, like Japan, about the war before attacking Iran?

We didn't tell anybody about it because we wanted surprise. Who knows better about surprise than Japan? Okay, why didn't you tell me about Pearl Harbor?

Okay?

Right?

To be fair, he got some laughs in the room.

He got like two groans.

I'll take it.

I also love, he did the joke, it bombed. And then he goes, right?

Right.

Right. Well, ladies, you know what And then he goes, right? Right.

Ladies, you know what I'm talking about, right?

He made the attack without telling the other countries. Because normally in war, you go, hey, I'm going to go over there and punch him in the face, make sure you got my back. But Trump, instead, punched people in the face, and then came back and go, hey, I just

punched him in the world.

We don't need them, but... it's interesting. I'm almost doing it in some cases, not because we need them, but because I want to find out how they react.

Oh, he's going through the stages of grief.

That's denied.

According to Trump, it'll be, quote, very bad for the future of NATO if they don't help us.

He's gonna bomb NATO.

Yeah. Yeah.

He's gonna bomb the hell out of NATO.

Britain's former chief of the defense staff doesn't want NATO to get pulled into this war.

NATO was created as a underlined, four-time defensive alliance. It was not an alliance that was designed for one of the Allies to go on a war of choice and then oblige everybody else to follow.

Is that red thing his heart rate?

LAUGHTER

So, now, Trump's in a bit of a pickle. He started a war that no-one wants to help in and there's no clear way out of that war, but Trump is a scrappy guy who's always overcome adversity and he's overcome adversity all by himself. He doesn't need people.

Is Donald Trump a self-made man? It has not been easy for me. And, you know, I-I started off in Brooklyn. My father gave me a small loan of a million dollars.

The only thing he made himself was that color. That's great.

From the very moment Donald Trump has started in business, there has always been somebody there to bail him out when he failed, and he has failed a lot. In fact, Wikipedia has a whole category called Businesses of Donald Trump That Went Bankrupt.

And it has 24 separate pages. Question to the panel. What is your favorite failed Donald Trump business?

I like the Trump Taj Mahal going down. That was always a big one. The casino, the Atlantic City Casino. Yeah, because on behalf of India, fuck you.

--Yeah. --Yeah.

Well, of all the failed Trump businesses, there was this one.

The Sharper Image is one of my favorite stores, with fantastic products of all kinds. That's why I'm thrilled they agree with me. Trump steaks are the world's greatest steaks, and I mean that in every sense of the word.

How many senses of the word are there?

Yeah.

The bigger question is, why are you buying a steak at an electronics store? According to the former CEO of Sharper Image, quote, we literally sold almost no steaks.

--ha-ha-ha-ha!

In every sense of the word. So the man who failed at casinos, failed at hotels, failed at steaks has gotten us into a war that he promised he would never start, and now he's resorting to what he always does

when things aren't going his way. He blames other people. Does anyone know which one of our allies Trump threw under the bus on Wednesday night?

He posted this long truth social rant about Israel bombing an oil and gas field that was jointly owned by Qatar and Iran. And Qatar is a US ally. And he said, Israel will never do that again. And Qatar, we're not going to bomb any more oil and gas

fields. And tsk, tsk. Shame on you.

That is correct. Points to you, Ari. It was Israel. Wednesday night on Truth Social, Trump posted, quote, Israel, out of anger for what has taken place in the Middle East, has violently lashed out

at a major facility in Iran. The United States knew nothing about this particular attack.

This particular...

You know how bad it's gotta be for Trump to distance himself from you? He's still kicking with Rudy Giuliani. So Trump is, uh, cornered. He's alienated his allies, angered his supporters, and even some of his own staff won't back him up.

There's only one option. Here's the president on Wednesday.

I wonder what would happen if we, quote, finished off what's left of the Iranian terrorist state and let the countries that use it, we don't, be responsible for the so-called straight. That would get some of our non-responsive allies in gear and fast, President DJT.

He misspelled straight.

Maybe it's like a Gulf of America type situation.

Right, right, right.

So from now on, that will be how it is spelled.

It's fine.

Michael and Ari, watch the clip. Tell me, what is the story?

Capitol Hill.

OK. Oh, that's that guy, Bruce Wayne.

Mark Wayne Mullen.

I'm going to go with Bruce Wayne. And then, Cruella de Vil.

Yes, of course.

Kash Patel.

Yeah. Tulsi Gabbard, Kash Patel went to the Capitol, and like all meetings with, uh, Trump officials,

talking to Congress people, it did not go well.

The story is, while Trump's focus is on other countries, the Senate was focused on domestic matters this last week at the confirmation hearing for Trump's nominee to head up the Department of Homeland Security, Senator Mark Wayne Mullen. Looked like a business casual woodchuck right there.

-♪ Ha ha ha ha ha... ♪ -He says there's gonna be

three more weeks of winter.

Three more weeks of winter.

Confirmation hearing is to hold a prospective appointee's feet to the fire. And there's nobody better to do the scrutinizing than Iowa Senator Joni Ernst.

I am going to say to the president, I am really upset that he has made your nomination. Why? Because I will be losing from the Senate one of the best friends that I have here, truly.

Ooh.

Siri, play End of the Road by Boyz II Men.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

One person really seemed to lead the charge against Senator, it's the men. He said in quote, I think there are anger issues. You did many interviews in which you justified the violence

as historically justified by precedents, such as caning and dueling. What I was simply pointing out is some of the rules that still apply to this body. Uh, for instance, uh, dueling with two consenting adults is still there.

Uh, I was pointing out what is still...

You've been illegal for 170 years. There's no precedent for legal dueling.

We should bring back dueling. But only

between two consenting adults.

Question, does anyone know where Rand and Mark Wayne's conflicts began? When Rand

Paul's neighbor beat the shit out of him. And Mark Wayne Mullen said to Rand Paul, you asshole, you probably deserved it.

Point! Yes, indeed. Rand Paul's beef with Mark Wayne goes all the way back to 2017, after Rand was assaulted by his neighbor in a property line dispute. After that, Mark Wayne repeatedly told a group of voters that he understood completely why his neighbor

might want to attack... Senator Paul.

I don't know the details of this dispute with a neighbor, but I've lived in Washington and covered politics long enough to be able to say he is, let's just say, not one of the most beloved senators on Capitol Hill.

Why?

Well, I think you might want to ask his neighbor.

-♪ This is... -♪ There seems to be another element of Mark Wayne's past that is, uh, coming back to haunt him right now. Uh, what part of Mullen's backstory is still being brought into question?

He was a stripper.

No.

What would be Mark Wayne Mullen's stripper name?

Mark Wayne Full-On?

What?

M-Mark Wayne can say Mullenin full on, like a full on...

Like a boner?

Like a boner, yes.

Oh, okay.

Earlier this month, Mark Wayne went on Fox News to defend our attacks on Iran, and he said this. War is ugly, it smells bad,

and if anybody's ever been there and been able to smell the war that's happened around you and taste it and feel it in your nostrils and Hear it. It's something that you'll never forget fact check true

Okay, but can you taste it? Can you taste I personally have never tasted it But maybe he's been in wars that I haven't covered as a journalist. So I'm not gonna I'm not gonna yuck his yum

After seeing Mark Wayne talk about the smell of war, New York rep and two-time Bronze Star recipient, Pat Ryan, shared the clip and asked, quote, Hey, Senator Mullen, what the actual fuck are you talking about? Did I miss a part of your bio where you served in combat or served in uniform at all? Call of Duty doesn't count. Bigger question, did Rand Paul's strategy work?

One of the most reliable rules of presidential nominations is if you want to get somebody confirmed, pick a senator. Because senators confirm their own. That's the rule. So if Senator Mark Wayne Mullen does not get confirmed as Secretary of Homeland Security

because of a beef between Rand Paul and his neighbor? That is bonkers.

You would need some kind of term coat Democrat to vote for Mark Wayne Mullen for this thing to proceed, and I don't think that's gonna happen.

What?

Mark Wayne Mullen is moving on to the fantasy suites, aka the Republican Senate, because the deciding vote to approve Mark Wayne Mullen came from a Democratic senator, Pennsylvania king of the drawstring,

John Fetterman.

Oh, no. Right. John Fetterman dressed like a dad who ain't got custody of his kids.

He just wears sweatshirts, right? It's just a range of sweatshirts.

Interesting.

It wasn't just Mark Wayne Mullen. Who else found themselves in the hot seat before the Senate this week?

There was Tulsi and there was Cash.

Yes. It was Tulsi Gabbard, aka the national intelligence director, and she's like one of them mommas at a rough parent-teacher conferences. Your child is a piece of shit. -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ Now, question to the panel. Why might Tulsi be so evasive in her answers

about the U.S. strikes on Iran?

Because the president keeps making claims about why we went to war with Iran, and everything that he's saying is contradicted by the report that our director of national intelligence submitted to the Congress and to the president.

Here's what Tulsi Gabbard campaigned on back in 2020.

He's on the brink of launching a very stupid and costly war with Iran. We have to stop President Trump from starting a war with Iran and risk direct U.S. conflict with Russia, conflict that could easily lead to nuclear war.

The U.S. must not go to war with Iran.

And by not go to war, she meant we should go to war.

Go to war with Iran, yeah.

That was 2020, Roy. Things are different now.

Tulsa's testimony was part of a hearing on global threats where we also heard from FBI Director Kash Patel, looking like he's trying to get the waiter's attention, but the waiter is ignoring him on purpose. On Thursday, the House Select Intelligence Committee had questions for Kash over his firing of some FBI agents.

Question on, why were the firing of those FBI agents so concerning?

Because they would have come in handy. We're at war with Iran, and they could have helped.

Points!

I did it!

You did it. You did it.

Cash fired to agents in charge of monitoring threats from Iran.

These last two stories have been rough, man. Tulsi Gabbard's a Hindu. This guy's an Indian.

It's like, what did I do? Did you always know his first name, full name was Cash Yap?

Yeah.

It's like when you find out, like, your homeboy's name is T-Bone, but his real name is, like, Douglas.

You're like, really?

Do you think his dad wanted to name him Money Talks?

-♪ Money Talks. -♪ Oh.

But instead, they went with Cash-yap. Let's take a closer look at these sneakers. I don't know if there are any hypebeasts out there watching, but, uh, these are custom. The number nine is specific because Cash is the ninth FBI director. And if you look on the tongue, it has his personal K-dollar sign H logo. Uh, the right shoe on the back there...

Oh. ...that's the FBI motto. And then the left shoe has the Punisher skull because he's just a giant fucking dork.

Like, why? I just have to say, I don't like Kash Patel. I don't like what he does. But I like that he's popping champagne. He's getting silly shoes made. It's a good time.

This is what you would do if you were FBI director. 100%.

Never vote for me.

Never.

We'll be right back.

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