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Weekend Update: Executive Collapses in Oval Office, Zohran Mamdani Elected New Mayor of NYC - SNL

Weekend Update: Executive Collapses in Oval Office, Zohran Mamdani Elected New Mayor of NYC - SNL

Saturday Night Live

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-♪ ♪

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It's Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che.

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Thank you. Thank you very much. Good evening, everyone.

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Welcome to Weekend Update. I'm Michael Che.

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I'm Colin Jost.

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A pharmaceutical executive collapsed in the Oval Office on Thursday. And speaking of pharmaceuticals, whatever they've got Trump on, I want some. Because just look how chill he is during all of this. He's just standing there.

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He's literally this meme. The craziest part is that during the commotion, RFK Jr. just runs away. Watch this.

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Gordon, you okay?

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How suspicious is that? Such a weird move. Don't worry, by the way, the man who collapsed is totally okay. You can tell because if there's something dead on the ground, RFK eats it.

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-♪♪

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On Tuesday, Zara and Mom Donny was elected mayor

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of New York City. -♪♪

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He was elected...

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-♪♪ He was elected... a lot of... a lot of... a lot of sliwa fans.

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He was elected mayor despite his opponent, Andrew Cuomo, receiving endorsements from Donald Trump and Eric Adams, which is like trying to bring a girl home by saying, not to brag, but I have hepatitis B and C. Andrew Cuomo spent the last day before the election

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Andrew Cuomo spent the last day before the election campaigning around the city in a white Ford Bronco, which is what O.J. Simpson used to get away from police. But at least O.J. was ahead in the race for a while.

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Oh, stop.

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Republican Curtis Lewa conceded the mayoral race on Tuesday in front of a crowd of his most loyal supporters.

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Squirrels!

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Conservative critics have been calling Zoran Mabdani a far-left radical as well as a jihadist. But he can't be far-left and a jihadist. I mean, what do you think he's gonna do, turn ISIS into THASIS?

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-♪♪ -♪♪ --ha-ha.

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The Supreme Court...

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I worked really hard on that couple days.

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Yeah, I like that.

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The Supreme Court on Friday temporarily allowed the Trump administration to withhold SNAP benefits, including food stamps. And we actually have footage of Trump finding out he does not have to pay the benefits.

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-♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. -♪ -♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. -♪ So stupid.

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Democrat Abigail Spanberger has been elected as Virginia's first-ever female governor. Governor... Yep. Defeating Republican Winsome Earl Sears, who will now have to change her name to Lose Some Earl Sears. President Trump said that he will only negotiate with Democrats when they agree to reopen the government, adding that he will not be extorted.

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Except that one time he famously got extorted by that mattress actress Stormy Daniels. -$1.

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$20. Aw. Hey, hey, hey, in there.

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New Mexico has become the first state in the country to offer its residents free child care, which will be provided by nannies from old Mexico.

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A video has gone viral of a man in Mexico coming up behind President Claudia Scheinbaum and trying to kiss and grope her. So, no, he's not taking the loss well. which is the most adorable way to smoke crack in their bathroom. -$1. $2.

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$21. $22. -$1.50. -$1.50. Scientists have posted a new video of a pod of orcas attacking and killing a group of baby sharks. So I guess we were right to put them in prison.

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-$1.50. $1.50.

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$1.50. A new poll finds that nearly 30% of Gen Z-ers

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think that paying with cash is cringe, even when I crumple it up for them.

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-♪♪

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Don't laugh. A husband and wife from Miami have been named the world's oldest married couple with a combined age of 216 years, which sounds really sweet until you realize the husband is 200.

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Lionsgate has released the first trailer for Michael, the upcoming biopic about Michael Jackson. And like Jackson, it starts out very dark but ends in a much lighter tone.

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These are some thinkers. Officials in Ireland are saying that reports of a lion wandering in the woods was actually just a dog with a new haircut. just a dog with a new haircut. Ireland, I guess we are pretty drunk. -♪♪♪♪

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