Weekend Update: U.S. Launches Attack on Iran; Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei Killed - SNL

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It's Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che.

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Good evening, everyone. Welcome to Weekend Update. I'm Michael Che. I'm Colin Jost.

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Well, guys, I'm starting to worry that President Trump might not win that peace prize. After launching a massive military strike against Iran, Trump announced hours ago that they officially killed the Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei and replaced him with, oh, my God, the guy from Venezuela?

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This attack might be a bad idea. I don't know. I'm not really an expert on Iran. So let's hear from someone who can explain why we might have done it.

Our president will start a war with Iran because he has absolutely no ability to negotiate.

He's weak and I voted for.

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Detractors on CNN are saying that Trump had no authorization for this war. But he actually did. Netanyahu said it was okay. I can't believe our leader could just attack Iran with no vote, no permission from Congress or anything. I mean, what is this, Iran?

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President Trump's State of the Union Address this week was the longest in history, lasting almost two full diapers.

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During the State of the Union Address, President Trump said, our nation is back, bigger, better, and stronger than ever before. Same, said the measles.

The U.S. women's hockey team turned down President Trump's invitation to attend the state of the union.

Yes.

You clapped, but that only made Trump want them more.

Oh.

President Trump angrily claimed that Minnesota has been ransacked by Somali pirates, but that's only because Trump's kind of an R-word.

Ooh.

Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, the former prince and current river corpse... has been arrested and now may be banned from ever taking the throne. In fact, the royal family said the only way he can become king

is if it comes down to either him or Meghan.

Oh!

Hillary Clinton testified this week and said she's confident that Bill Clinton had no knowledge of Jeffrey Epstein's crimes, though there is an outside chance that Hillary sometimes doesn't know what her husband is up to. It was reported that Jeffrey Epstein hid photographs in secret storage lockers across the country. But I guess he had to take a lot of pictures because kids grow up so fast.

Oh!

What is this, Iran? Researchers have developed a new nasal spray vaccine that can protect people against the flu, COVID, and other respiratory diseases. But to get it approved by RFK,

they're calling it Shark Testicle Creatine.

-♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ During a Black History Month event at the White House, President Trump defended himself from criticism that he is racist by listing his black friends, including Nicki Minaj, Jim Brown, and Mike Tyson. Wow, that's two more than you, Colin.

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Cool.